Aspirational Gangbangs

IP Slop for Me

Ariana shares her goonette filmgoer experience watching Gladiator 2 featuring the handsome Paul Mescal’s receding hairline; Dr. Hole reviews Heretic. We discuss anti-intellectualism and the dearth of criticism, Pitchfork payola poptimism and its consequences, parasocial celebrity veneration and society’s lack of cultural education. We give you both scathing critique and glowing praise of Wicked and explore anorexia as a social contagion. Finally, we dip our toes into the insidious right-wing propaganda rag Evie Magazine and revisit Ballerina Farm, their 2024 cover girl. We answer our first two listener calls from a lovely lady. She asked what we think about maintaining friendships with people we love who have vastly different political views. Dr. Hole shares her controversial not-at-all-flippant take on being friends with men as we segue into the next question about dating emotionally unavailable men. If you have any questions on your mind or have something you would like to share, please leave us a message at 505-357-0140 and we’ll respond on the show! Sound credits: HARP GLISSANDO UP.wav by olver -- https://freesound.org/s/505063/ -- License: Creative Commons 0 HARP GLISSANDO DOWN.wav by olver -- https://freesound.org/s/505064/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

United States of Amnesia

Topics discussed: Lawncare, plant homicide, 21-year-old thought leader Olivia Rodrigo’s dating rule, space and deep sea exploration, mermaids and Atlantis, comparing and contrasting the 4B movement with Lysistrata, contextual gummy smiles, Dworkin’s Right Wing Women, and the sugar baby to trad wife pipeline. We offer an election postmortem through the historical lens of Dr. Hole’s kin, Senator Thomas Pryor Gore and Gore Vidal, explaining why, as Vidal often said, we should be called the United States of Amnesia. As a reminder, please call +1 (505) 357-0140 and leave a message for us to play on Gilded if you would like advice, or chime in and tell us something you’re thankful for as we enter the holiday season! 💌 Sound credits: HARP GLISSANDO UP.wav by olver -- https://freesound.org/s/505063/ -- License: Creative Commons 0 HARP GLISSANDO DOWN.wav by olver -- https://freesound.org/s/505064/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Aspirational Gangbangs

Aspirational gangbang girlbosses, the many controversies of flop pop-star-turned-professional foot pic purveyor Lily Allen, our poet laureate Azealia Banks, why Dr. Hole says chickens are barely people (but men are people too 🥹), trad wives as fetish content, and finding the real ones by living your pussy lip truth. Also we’re announcing the opening of our phone line! Please call +1 (505) 357-0140 and leave a message if you would like advice, or chime in and tell us something you’re thankful for as we enter the holiday season. Sound credits: HARP GLISSANDO UP.wav by olver -- https://freesound.org/s/505063/ -- License: Creative Commons 0 HARP GLISSANDO DOWN.wav by olver -- https://freesound.org/s/505064/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Fireside Tales

Join us around the fireplace for our Halloween episode of Gilded! Topics covered: cultural skepticism of ghosts and the supernatural, Ghost Whisperer aka Gilmore Girls for slightly goth bitches, our first horror movies, our shared strange spooky experience at a desert makeout point, Stephen King’s Gerald’s Game, Hat Man and its potential psychological or paranormal implications, Robert the Doll, Gef the Mongoose, the Bell Witch, the Swiss folk tale Sennentuntschi and Dr. Hole’s pitch for a modernized American reimagining thereof, El Cucuy, Kuchisake-Onna (the slit mouthed woman), near-death experience auditory hallucinations, aliens as a cover for nefarious government activities, Elon Musk’s pork skin, the CIA vampire psy-op in the Philippines, Mokele Mbembe, and North Sentinel Island. We read the following listener-submitted ghost stories: Studio City Haunting, A Haunting in LA, and The Woman in the Walls. Sound credits: HARP GLISSANDO UP.wav by olver -- https://freesound.org/s/505063/ -- License: Creative Commons 0 HARP GLISSANDO DOWN.wav by olver -- https://freesound.org/s/505064/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Oreo Coke Zero Satanic Ritual Abuse

Topics discussed: Oreo Coke Zero satanic ritual abuse; a tasting of Oreo Coke Zero as requested by Mariano, friend of Gilded Podcast. The deeply unsettling film Cure (1997) dir. Kiyoshi Kurosawa; a brief history of hypnosis and mesmerism and its impacts on society today. Direct-to-Amazon trough slop House of Spoils (2024, ft. Steven Seagal apparently, dir. by Who Cares) as a subpar horror-themed The Bear ripoff; anthropomorphized wet cardboard queens Ariana DeBose and Camilla Cabello. The Monroe Institute’s the Gateway Tapes, binaural beats and consciousness, lucid dreaming and nightmare experiences (ft. big cats and Chuck E. Cheese tunnels), helicopter parenting and its consequences, exotic pet ownership, the post-COVID dog ownership landscape. Pickup artists, male manipulators, and The Art of Seduction by vacuous balding moid Robert Greene; why Jordan Peterson proves that incels need healthy father figures; the manosphere. Media’s influence on dating expectations, social media, body image, and societal standards of attractiveness; modern dating culture and the pressure on women to appear self-confident; overcompensation in self-presentation and insecurities; bimbo feminism and Y2K nostalgia. Manipulation tactics in salesmanship and everyday life and their parallels to the stages of demonic possession. Triggers: 30 Sales Tools by Joseph Sugarman; identity formation in marketing; makeup's role in self-perception and identity; the psychological impact of altering appearance through makeup; evolution of fandoms and online spaces and today’s dire lack of community. The Substance (2024), dir. Coralie Fargeat; body horror as representation of the female experience; mainstream discussions on women's experiences in film; declining movie theater etiquette; Dr. Hole’s brilliant movie theater bathroom break innovation ideas. The Diddy allegations; Suge Knight's recent interview with Chris Cuomo; Jeffrey Epstein and abusive networks; industry-wide issues of normalized abusive behavior; the Franklin scandal and Satanic Panic as cover for abuse; Blink Twice (2024), dir. Zoe Kravitz and its commentary on power dynamics; why certain personality types are drawn to positions of power. We close out this cheerful episode with a short Gilded Tale read by Dr. Hole and a guided hypnosis for inner peace read by Ariana. Sound credits: HARP GLISSANDO UP.wav by olver -- https://freesound.org/s/505063/ -- License: Creative Commons 0 HARP GLISSANDO DOWN.wav by olver -- https://freesound.org/s/505064/ -- License: Creative Commons 0 Relaxation music #63.wav by ZHRØ -- https://freesound.org/s/697610/ -- License: Attribution 4.0 Relaxation music #64.wav by ZHRØ -- https://freesound.org/s/697609/ -- License: Attribution 4.0