Hate Watching with Dan and Tony

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/1221455/open_sms] When three friends—a doctor with a glass eye, an African-American lawyer, and a mysterious nurse-turned-artist—become entangled in a murder investigation in 1930s New York, they uncover a sinister conspiracy that reaches to the highest levels of American power. What begins as a quest to clear their names transforms into a fight against a fascist plot to overthrow the U.S. government. "Amsterdam" represents one of the most perplexing cinematic experiments of recent years. Christian Bale delivers a fully committed, physically transformed performance as Dr. Burt Berendsen, a WWI veteran who creates unconventional pain medications for fellow soldiers while sporting a prosthetic eye that refuses to stay in place. Alongside John David Washington's stoic Harold Woodman and Margot Robbie's enigmatic Valerie, they form an unlikely trio whose bond was forged in the trenches of Europe and the artistic paradise of Amsterdam. The film attempts to tackle weighty themes—fascism's rise, America's flirtation with authoritarianism, racism, and the corrupting influence of wealth—but repeatedly undermines itself with jarring tonal shifts. One moment we're witnessing the horror of war wounds, the next we're watching Mike Myers and Michael Shannon engage in bird-watching espionage comedy. Taylor Swift makes a memorable appearance only to meet an abrupt and darkly comedic end that epitomizes the film's bizarre approach to storytelling. What makes "Amsterdam" particularly frustrating is the glimpse of greatness hidden within its meandering narrative. Based on the real-life "Business Plot"—a legitimate 1933 conspiracy by wealthy industrialists to overthrow FDR's government—the film had the potential to deliver a timely warning about democracy's fragility. Instead, it buries this fascinating history under quirky character studies and surrealist digressions that never cohere into a satisfying whole. Robert De Niro brings gravitas as the decorated general these conspirators hope to manipulate, while Rami Malek and Anya Taylor-Joy deliver unsettling performances as the wealthy siblings with disturbing agendas. The cast's commitment can't rescue a script that constantly loses focus, jumping between 1918 flashbacks and the 1933 main storyline without allowing either timeline room to breathe. What could have been a powerful historical thriller or an effective period comedy instead lands uncomfortably between genres, testing audiences' patience with its 134-minute runtime and convoluted storyline. Has a film ever left you more bewildered by the gap between its potential and execution? Written Lovingly by AI Be our friend! Dan: @shakybacon Tony: @tonydczech And follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/1221455/open_sms] Remember when 90s horror was all about beautiful people running from fishermen with hooks? "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" perfectly encapsulates that strange era when our slashers took tropical vacations and our protagonists made questionable decisions at every turn. Jennifer Love Hewitt returns as Julie James, still traumatized from the events of the first film, now haunted by nightmares and paranoia. When she and her college roommate Brandy (played by musical superstar Brandy) win a dream vacation to the Bahamas through a radio contest, it seems like the perfect opportunity to escape her troubles. Little does she know, the contest was rigged, and the vengeful hook-wielding fisherman has orchestrated the entire scenario to finish what he started. The film delivers exactly what sequel-hungry audiences of 1998 craved - more beautiful people, higher body count, and even Jack Black in a bizarre role as a dreadlocked weed dealer. While Freddie Prinze Jr. makes a welcome return, fans rightfully lament his limited screen time. The tropical setting provides a refreshing change from the original's small town, allowing for storm-related tension as our characters find themselves trapped in an increasingly empty resort during the off-season. What makes this film so fascinating to revisit isn't its scares (which are minimal) or its kills (which lack creativity), but rather how perfectly it captures late 90s horror sensibilities. The fashion, the music, the dialogue - it's all a time capsule of a specific moment in cinema history when slashers were commercially viable but creatively waning. The "Ben's son" twist may induce groans rather than gasps, but there's an undeniable charm to the film's commitment to its ridiculous premise. As a new "I Know What You Did Last Summer" film hits theaters this week, it's the perfect time to revisit this flawed but fascinating sequel and appreciate how far horror has come - or perhaps how much we sometimes miss the simpler days when all we needed was a hook, some rain, and Jennifer Love Hewitt's perfectly blow-dried hair surviving impossible humidity. Be our friend! Dan: @shakybacon Tony: @tonydczech And follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/1221455/open_sms] "Stop trying to make fetch happen" might be the most iconic line from Mean Girls, but this musical remake probably should have stopped trying to make itself happen.  The 2024 Mean Girls musical adaptation presents a curious paradox: it's a movie musical with songs so abbreviated they barely register and a storyline that somehow manages to lose all the sharp edges that made the original a cultural phenomenon. Where the 2004 film brilliantly captured the brutal social ecosystem of American high schools, this remake offers a watered-down version that neither satisfies as a musical nor works as a compelling story. What's particularly frustrating is how the film squanders its potential. The Broadway musical version, which serves as the adaptation's source material, features energetic, memorable songs that effectively translate Tina Fey's razor-sharp observations into musical form. Yet the film presents these songs in truncated versions, often lasting barely over a minute before abruptly ending. The "Revenge Party" number and the Halloween costume song stand as the only fully realized musical moments, with everything else feeling like musical interludes rather than complete expressions. Character development suffers similar shortcomings. The original film showed how Katie gradually transformed into the very person she initially despised - a mean girl herself - creating a complex moral center. In this version, Katie never convincingly becomes mean, removing the crucial character arc that gave the story its emotional weight. Similarly, Janice's character loses the fascinating duality that made her simultaneously sympathetic and problematic in the original. Even Regina George, perhaps the most iconic high school villain in cinema history, lacks the calculated cruelty that made Rachel McAdams' performance so memorable. Despite these shortcomings, a few bright spots emerge. The actress playing Janice demonstrates genuine vocal talent, and occasional meta-jokes about the musical format land effectively. But these moments only highlight what might have been with more thoughtful execution. For those intrigued by the concept of Mean Girls as a musical, the Broadway soundtrack offers a far more satisfying experience than this cinematic adaptation. Have you seen both versions of Mean Girls? We'd love to hear which you preferred and why. Join the conversation in the comments section below! written lovingly by AI Be our friend! Dan: @shakybacon Tony: @tonydczech And follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/1221455/open_sms] When Disney unveiled its 2025 live-action reimagining of Snow White, audiences expected a thoughtful update of the beloved classic. Instead, we discovered a bewildering misstep that fails at the fundamental elements of storytelling, character development, and musical composition. Diving deep into this adaptation, we meticulously compare the original animated masterpiece with its modern counterpart, revealing how the remake abandons the narrative clarity and emotional resonance that made the 1937 version timeless. From its opening scene featuring a bloodless childbirth in a pristine carriage to its inexplicable costume changes and nonsensical plot developments, this film consistently makes baffling creative choices. The musical elements prove particularly disappointing. Unlike successful modern musicals that understand how songs should advance plot and reveal character, Snow White's soundtrack relies on simplistic rhyming without memorable melodies or meaningful lyrics. Even talented vocalists can't elevate material that fundamentally misunderstands what makes movie musicals work. We highlight how the film's approach to color (garish primary hues instead of nuanced fairy tale aesthetics), characterization (telling us Snow White is empowered without showing it), and world-building (inconsistent magic rules) creates a frustrating viewing experience for audiences of any age. Perhaps most revealing is our analysis of how the film attempts to modernize its message while inadvertently undermining it—Snow White lacks agency despite being described as inspirational, the dwarves are rendered as unsympathetic CGI creations, and the Robin Hood-inspired love interest fails to develop any chemistry or purpose. The original's simple elegance is replaced with complexity that doesn't serve the story or characters. Have you experienced the disappointment of a cherished classic being poorly reimagined? Share your thoughts in the comments, and join us next week when we tackle Mean Girls: The Musical—hopefully with better results! Written lovingly by AI Be our friend! Dan: @shakybacon Tony: @tonydczech And follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/1221455/open_sms] We go back to one of our earlier episodes as Tony was out sick this week! A teenage martial arts star with a perfect body and an expressionless face attempts to become the next Jason Bourne? What could possibly go wrong?  Taylor Lautner's post-Twilight action vehicle "Abduction" takes us on a wild ride through one of the most illogical spy thrillers ever made. When high school student Nathan discovers his childhood photo on a missing persons website, he's thrust into a world of government conspiracies, international assassins, and badly choreographed fight scenes that somehow manage to be both frantic and boring. The film desperately wants to position Lautner as a legitimate action star, but saddles him with a character supposedly suffering from "rage issues" that never materialize. Despite being surrounded by seasoned actors like Sigourney Weaver, Alfred Molina, and Jason Isaacs, the Twilight heartthrob delivers most of his lines with the emotional range of a cardboard cutout. His parkour skills and shirtless scenes can't compensate for a script filled with nonsensical plot developments and technology that would make even the most forgiving sci-fi fan roll their eyes. Most puzzling is the film's title - nobody actually gets abducted. Instead, we're treated to a collection of spy movie clichés stitched together with teenage romance that feels awkward and forced. From magical phones that can't be traced (except when they suddenly can) to an international network of assassins who can appear anywhere in minutes, "Abduction" breaks every rule of logic while following every rule of bad filmmaking. Join us as we break down this spectacular misfire that tried to launch a franchise and instead became a cautionary tale about what happens when marketing executives decide someone's abs qualify them to carry an action thriller. Written lovingly with AI Be our friend! Dan: @shakybacon Tony: @tonydczech And follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT