Healing Anxious Attachment

One of the most powerful things you can do on your healing journey is get good at knowing and trusting what you need — not what you were told to need, not what you think you should need, but what your body and heart are truly craving. This episode answers a question from a Becoming Secure Community Member who asked: “How do I even know what my core needs are? And once I do… how can I meet them on my own?” Together, we explore: * Neediness versus Needs * When to meet your own needs and when to ask for your needs to be met * Discovering your deeper emotional or relational needs * How to reconnect to your needs through your body * Core needs in the realms of intimacy, sex, safety, self-expression, and relationships * The connection between your needs and your values This episode also includes a somatic practice to help you tune in and feel your needs rather than just think about them. You’ll walk away with clarity, direction, and a deeper sense of connection to your inner world. Resources Mentioned: Quiz [https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/QVP-ep35] - Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? Becoming Secure Community [https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/-ep35] - Course + Community + Coaching

In this episode, I’m talking about why receiving often feels uncomfortable — especially for women with anxious attachment — and how this survival pattern shows up in your body and your relationships. We’ll explore: * Why high-functioning women resist support * The somatic signs you’re in survival mode * How childhood patterns shaped your ability to receive * What it really takes to let love land And if you’re ready to shift this not just in your mind, but in your body — join me for my upcoming live workshop: Held – Letting Love In. In the Becoming Secure Membership. [https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/-ep34] In the workshop we go deep into the somatic healing needed to turn off survival mode and turn on your capacity to receive. Mentioned in this episode: July 3rd Workshop - Held: Letting Love In 👇🏼 Sign up for the Becoming Secure Community to join me Live Thursday July 3rd 8pm ET for the Letting Love In somatic healing workshop. https://www.skool.com/healing-anxious-attachment/about

You never “need” anything. But underneath, you’re anxious, and wishing to feel more held. In this episode, we explore what happens when high-functioning anxiety plays out in relationships — from early dating to long-term partnership. And most importantly, how it impacts your ability to be met, supported, and chosen. You’ll hear: * Why overfunctioning can push love away — even when your intentions are pure * How emotional management erodes polarity and leads to mothering * The kinds of men we attract when we’re performing vs. when we’re rooted in self * And what to practice instead — so you stop chasing safety and start receiving love If you’ve ever said “I did everything and he still pulled away, why wasn't I enough?” this episode is for you. WORK TOGETHER 🧡 🌻 🫳🏼 BECOMING SECURE MEMBERSHIP COMMUNITY [https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/-ep33] - Course + Coaching + Community 📲 Find me on Instagram [https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/instagram-VP] Mentioned in this episode: July 3rd Workshop - Held: Letting Love In 👇🏼 Sign up for the Becoming Secure Community to join me Live Thursday July 3rd 8pm ET for the Letting Love In somatic healing workshop. https://www.skool.com/healing-anxious-attachment/about

You look like the woman who has it all together — grounded, reliable, composed. But underneath? You’re feeling urgent, worried, and overthinking. Managing everything. And maybe quietly unraveling. This episode is for the high-achieving, high-functioning woman who knows something feels off but can't break through on it. We’re talking about the kind of anxiety that hides behind performing calm. Inside, we’ll explore: * What high-functioning anxiety really is — and how it hides in plain sight * How emotional repression becomes self-abandonment * The signs your body is waving the white flag (even if your mind won’t admit it) * What your nervous system is actually craving * Why healing requires more than just self-awareness If you’ve been doing all the “right” things but still feel disconnected from yourself… this one will land. Resources Mentioned: 🔗 Join the Becoming Secure Membership [https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/-ep32] for access to 30+ guided somatic practices, monthly coaching calls, and high touch support from me. 📲 Message me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/johhhannamaria] ❓ Take the Which Type of Anxious Attachment Are You? [https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/QuizVP-ep32] quiz Mentioned in this episode: July 3rd Workshop - Held: Letting Love In 👇🏼 Sign up for the Becoming Secure Community to join me Live Thursday July 3rd 8pm ET for the Letting Love In somatic healing workshop. https://www.skool.com/healing-anxious-attachment/about

We talk so much about how anxious attachment plays out in romance—but what about friendship? If you’ve ever felt too sensitive, too intense, or too dependent in friendships—or you’ve abandoned them for romance—this conversation is for you. In this episode, I explore the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways anxious attachment shows up in our platonic connections: overthinking texts, people-pleasing, jealousy, and the pain of feeling replaceable. We also look at deeper patterns—like recreating dynamics with your mother or sister, using male friendships as emotional placeholders, and disappearing from your friends when a new love interest enters the picture. Go beyond understanding your patterns and actually start healing them at the root, come join us inside my membership, Becoming Secure. [https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/-ep31] You’ll get nervous system-based tools, somatic practices, and community support to help you feel safe, grounded, and secure in love and life. ⏱️ Timestamps Note: These are approximate and meant to help listeners follow the flow. 00:00 – Intro & why this topic matters 02:15 – What anxious attachment in friendship actually looks like 05:50 – How to tell if you're over-functioning or emotionally over-relying on a friend 09:30 – The mother/sister dynamic in female friendships 13:20 – Male friendships as placeholders for father wounds 16:45 – The quiet pattern of abandoning your friends for romance 20:30 – Self-reflection and starting to shift these patterns 23:00 – Invitation to go deeper inside Becoming Secure [https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/-ep31] Mentioned in this episode: July 3rd Workshop - Held: Letting Love In 👇🏼 Sign up for the Becoming Secure Community to join me Live Thursday July 3rd 8pm ET for the Letting Love In somatic healing workshop. https://www.skool.com/healing-anxious-attachment/about