How's Your Ma: Episode 9 (Jackie support and survival pt2)

How's Your Ma: Episode 9 (Jackie support and survival pt2)

In this raw and deeply moving second part of Jackie's story, Orla, Leanne and Jackie pick up where they left off — and what follows is one of the most honest and courageous conversations the pod has had. Jackie takes us through the moment she discovered she was pregnant with Abby, and the immediate unravelling of Tony's mask — from "that's what we always wanted" to "I don't believe you're pregnant" within days. What should have been a time of joy became another chapter of coercive control, fear, and isolation, compounded by the devastating news at Jackie's 20-week scan that her baby had a serious heart condition. Abby was born with a complex congenital heart defect — her organs on the wrong side, her heart with only two chambers and a large hole between them — and was rushed straight to Crumlin Children's Hospital from birth. Jackie describes the terror of bringing a medically fragile baby home with a 50% chance of not making it to her first birthday, learning CPR at the hospital door, and doing it all largely alone while living in fear of Abby's father. As Abby grew, so did the abuse — escalating to the night Tony picked Jackie up and threw her across the room in front of Abby, telling her he would have her killed. That was Jackie's light bulb moment. She talks about the court process, the safety orders that were just pieces of paper to him, the guards who didn't take her seriously, and the slow, painful road to finally getting out. She also opens up about eventually finding support through Aoibhneas domestic violence services, being diagnosed with PTSD, and what it felt like to finally have her experience validated. Jackie also speaks about her mother — learning at her deathbed that she likely had autism, and the grief and guilt that came a year later when everything finally made sense. And she speaks about her father, whom she cared for despite everything, and who told her she wasn't his. This is an episode about survival — not just Jackie's, but Abby's. Today, Abby has finished a PLC with nine distinctions, is clued in, strong, and thriving. And Jackie, living in a beautiful little cottage by the sea, is a very different woman — one who doesn't take shit, points out red flags, and has her hand out to anyone who needs it. Her closing words to anyone still in it: Don't ignore the red flags. Don't be afraid to talk. Believe in the experience that you're having. Timecodes 00:00 – Intro: Leanne and Orla welcome listeners back for Part 2 of Jackie's story 00:25 – Recap: picking up from Part 1, moving into Abby's arrival and life from there 00:58 – Jackie calls Tony the moment she finds out she's pregnant — and wonders to this day why she did 01:19 – Tony's reaction: "That's what we always wanted" — followed within days by "I don't believe you're pregnant" 02:08 – Why Jackie didn't leave: living in constant fear, the body going into autopilot every time he walked through the door 02:51 – The roller coaster of Tony's responses to the pregnancy; and Jackie's sister passing away in the middle of it all 03:36 – The 20-week scan: the nurse takes too long, asks Jackie to come back — and Jackie's gut knows immediately something is wrong 04:48 – Returning for the follow-up scan: brought into a different room, a specialist, a team — "There's something wrong with your baby" 05:24 – The diagnosis: a serious heart condition, possibly linked to Down syndrome — Jackie's response: "I don't care if my baby has Down syndrome, I need to know if she'll live" 05:40 – Tony's reaction on finding out it's a girl: visible disgust — his only priority was a boy 06:32 – Scans at Crumlin Children's Hospital throughout the pregnancy; the surreal terror of being in a children's hospital before Abby is even born 07:13 – The cardiologist's bleak prognosis: Abby's organs on the wrong side, liver midline, heart central, two chambers with a large hole between them 08:05 – Jackie hiding away during the pregnancy, talking to Abby every day, willing her to just get through 08:41 – Abby goes into distress a week before her due date; emergency C-section 09:23 – Abby is born — purple, a mop of jet black hair, gorgeous — and immediately taken to Crumlin 09:44 – Jackie, post-surgery and unable to walk, left alone in a hospital room while Abby fights for life; Tony's family never once makes contact 10:41 – A control call from Tony's ex while Jackie is lying there unable to move — she cuts it short 11:32 – The next morning: Jackie discharges herself against medical advice to get to Crumlin; the first time she gets to touch Abby 12:21 – Crumlin: emergency blessings, Prostin to keep Abby's arteries open, MRI scans 12:53 – Abby's first open-heart surgery at three days old; Jackie describes seeing her baby connected to tubes, unrecognisable 13:33 – The abuse never stopped during the pregnancy — always there under the surface; keeping Tony happy just to survive 14:10 – Tony thriving off Abby's illness for sympathy; Jackie realises she was confiding in the wrong person 15:05 – Taking Abby home from hospital: learning CPR at the door, terrified of the "what ifs", 50% chance of not making it to her first birthday 16:05 – Home for three weeks, then Abby's second surgery at ten months old; she flies through it 17:03 – The ongoing reality: regular hospital admissions, needle trauma, Abby's fear of procedures — and Jackie navigating it all 18:13 – Tony always around, never a couple, but Jackie never left Abby alone with him 18:42 – Abby starts school early on cardiologist advice; she thrives and loves it 19:12 – The abuse escalates; Jackie's entire focus is Abby, running on fear and survival 19:47 – The night everything changed: Tony picks Jackie up and throws her across the room in front of Abby, tells her he'll have her killed — his eyes go black 21:08 – The new layer of fear: not just him, but the threat of an unknown person; Jackie believes him completely — "his own mother said she knew" 21:50 – Installing cameras, seeing shadows in the grass, barely functioning; her aunt visits and raises the alarm to her uncle Pat 23:20 – The court case: Jackie can't go into detail legally but describes the experience as surreal, watching Tony lie with confidence in front of a judge 24:42 – Why Jackie still allowed contact: not wanting Abby alone with him unsupervised, and the terrifying reality of guardianship laws 26:22 – Tony fights for guardianship — not for access, not for Abby — just for control and the piece of paper 27:25 – The light bulb moment: going to the GP, starting antidepressants, trying to hold herself together for the court process 28:34 – Surviving the court case; the system failing her — safety orders that were meaningless to him 29:44 – Abby at 9 or 10, coming out the door begging not to be sent back; Jackie sends the email and says she is not going back — and Tony never comes looking 31:01 – To...

How's Your Ma: Episode 8

In this powerful episode of How's Your Ma?, Orla and Leanne welcome Jackie — and from the very first minute, it's clear this is a story unlike any other. Jackie opens up about a lifetime shaped by survival: growing up in poverty and domestic violence, being placed in an orphanage as a young child, caring for her siblings well before she was old enough to care for herself, and eventually finding safety, warmth, and stability in ways she never expected. Jackie speaks candidly about her marriage, her escape into what felt like freedom, and how a charming man she met at work turned her world upside down — love bombing, coercive control, physical abuse, and the terrifying experience of navigating the courts and family law system while pregnant and afraid. She shares the heartbreak of her baby Abby's serious heart condition diagnosis, the isolation she endured, and the years it took to finally break free. But this isn't just a story of hardship. Jackie speaks with remarkable clarity, humour, and strength about where she is now — in a good place, learning to say no, and writing the next chapter of her life. She even has a book in her. This is Part 1 of a two-part episode. If you or someone you know needs support, you can contact the Domestic Violence helpline SASH on 1800 911 221, or reach out to domestic violence services in your area. Timecodes: 00:00 — Welcome & introducing Jackie; Orla and Leanne reflect on her story 01:46 — "Everybody has a story — and I'm holding the pen on this one" — Jackie on why she's sharing her truth 02:01 — Years of writing and deleting; finding the courage to stop being ashamed 04:00 — At 57, stepping into the next chapter; giving yourself permission 05:06 — Learning to say no; breaking the people-pleasing habit 07:43 — Jackie begins at the beginning: growing up one of eight children in poverty outside Lusk 09:01 — Memories of domestic abuse at home; flashes of fear 11:14 — The night her mum left through the back window 12:06 — Left to care for her younger siblings; feeding and minding babies as a young child 14:25 — Mum returns with the guards; taking the children to a refuge (Women's Aid) 14:48 — Placed in the orphanage; Sister Stella and a surprisingly safe, warm childhood 17:26 — Good memories: summers at the beach, donkeys, hot milk and bedtime stories 18:47 — The shame of school; hiding where she lived, feeling different 22:26 — Siblings being fostered out one by one; Jackie left behind, too old 27:39 — Running down the stairs to greet prospective foster families, hoping to be chosen 28:48 — Sister Stella gently suggesting she go live with her gran; Jackie's reluctance 32:35 — Moving to her grandmother's; her mum's alcoholism; feeling used, not loved 58:38 — Alan has a work accident; Jackie gets her first taste of freedom going to work 59:54 — Splitting from Alan in 2002; the loneliness and emotional isolation of that marriage 01:00:31 — Meeting her "nightmare" — a charming area manager, the love bombing begins 01:03:34 — "He was my Prince Charming — and then he flipped a switch"; the abuse begins 01:05:40 — The first attack; not seeing the signs; coercive control and isolation 01:07:33 — His sob stories and her empathy; confiding in his mother (his biggest enabler) 01:08:55 — The fear; walking on eggshells; the manipulation being worse than the physical abuse 01:10:17 — Breaking up in 2007; discovering she's pregnant with Abby 01:12:50 — Her sister passes away; the pregnancy continuing amid chaos 01:13:58 — The 20-week scan; devastating news about Abby's heart condition 01:15:17 — "It doesn't matter if she has Down Syndrome — I just need to know if she'll live"; his reaction to finding out it's a girl 01:33:41 — Mental health crisis; her uncle Pat's concern; going to the GP; anti-depressants and an upcoming court case 01:35:14 — Navigating family law; the system's failings for domestic abuse survivors 01:40:31 — Abby refuses to go back; Jackie stands firm — "She's not going back" 01:41:48 — Who he really is; the irony of his "career" in close protection 02:10:50 — Jackie today: a different person, a different strength 02:11:14 — What she'd do differently now; the strength she's found 02:12:06 — Abby thriving; the roller coaster of keeping her daughter held together 02:12:27 — Closing words: "Don't ignore the red flags. Don't be afraid to talk." 02:13:11 — Resources: SASH Domestic Violence Helpline 1800 911 221 02:13:54 — Orla and Leanne reflect on Jackie's journey; what a warrior she is 02:16:04 — Jackie's song: Celebrate Me by Sinéad O'Connor — "it sums up everything I've gone through and everything I'm about to embark on" 02:17:18 — Teaser for Part 2; wrap-up and outro

How's Your Ma: Episode 7

This week, Orla and Leanne are joined by two very special guests — Ashling, a mum from Clane, Kildare, and her incredible 11-year-old daughter Georgia. What unfolds is one of the most honest, heartfelt and joyful conversations the girls have had in the studio. Ashling opens up about navigating life with not one, but two children with medical diagnoses — Jake, who was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis at just 20 months old, and Georgia, who was born with a visual impairment. From the moment Georgia arrived and Ashling knew something was different, to the hospital visits, the dismissals from doctors, the ICU, and ultimately the diagnosis — she tells it all with a strength and humour that will have you laughing one minute and wiping your eyes the next. But this episode isn't just about the hard parts. It's about a family that rallies around each other. It's about a husband who texts to check in, a brother who carries his sister's bag home from school every day without being asked, and a little sister whose first instinct is always to help. And it's about Georgia herself — a confident, singing, rebel-song-loving, seagull-chasing force of nature who wants to be a singer (or a youth worker, just in case). Georgia steals the show as she chats about school, independence, her love of Olivia Rodrigo AND Irish rebel songs, and what she'd say to other kids and parents going through something similar. Her wisdom at 11 years old will genuinely stop you in your tracks. Ashling's advice to new parents facing a diagnosis — "just enjoy it, don't waste your time worrying" — and her message to couples navigating the stress of raising children with extra needs — "listen to each other, communicate" — are words every parent needs to hear. This one is a banger. Don't miss it. Timecodes 00:00 — Introductions: Orla and Leanne welcome Ashling and Georgia to the studio 01:52 — Ashling introduces herself: from Clane, Kildare, married to Mikey for 18 years, three kids 02:39 — Georgia introduces herself: 11 years old, loves singing, dancing and drumming — and reveals she is visually impaired 03:27 — Ashling's story begins: Jake's unusual crawling, four dismissed hospital visits, and finally getting someone to listen 04:25 — Jake is diagnosed with juvenile arthritis at 20 months old — while Ashling is pregnant with Georgia 05:33 — Ashling's own eye condition and the moment she knew something was different when Georgia was born 06:58 — The night Georgia was born: eyes not opening, the call to the doctor, and being whisked to the ICU 07:48 — Transferred to Temple Street Children's Hospital — Ashling returning to the same hospital she attended as a child 09:06 — Georgia put to sleep for investigation at just three days old 10:42 — Ashling reveals she had shingles during her pregnancy with Georgia 11:29 — Mikey's role: attending every hospital appointment, flying to England, being Georgia's constant 24:40 — Jake's relationship with Georgia: carrying her bag from school every day without being asked 25:22 — Little sister Essie: naturally understanding Georgia's needs from two years old, no explanation needed 26:40 — A funny moment: Orla and baby Essie's rocky start ("she just didn't like me") 30:04 — An important reflection: how Jake was sometimes overlooked when Georgia's diagnosis took centre stage 31:08 — The girls' trip to Tenerife: how Orla and Ashling first became friends over tears and laughter at a pub table 34:36 — Georgia on her day-to-day life: Ashling does her hair, makes her lunch, and Georgia makes the tea 35:16 — Georgia's general knowledge: obsessed with The Chase, knows everything about actors, singers and history 37:01 — Georgia's favourite music: Justin Bieber, Olivia Rodrigo — and Irish rebel songs. Her favourite? Grace and The Streets of New York 38:20 — Georgia sings a verse of The Streets of New York — and absolutely delivers 39:15 — Georgia's future plans: singer first, youth worker second 40:01 — Georgia's youth club: singing, drama, cooking, rock climbing — and the community it builds 52:03 — Georgia's advice to other kids who might feel different: "Be yourself. Don't let anyone change you." 52:58 — Georgia on navigating school independence: getting her coat herself, taking the extra time, not caring what others think 53:19 — On curious kids who stare: "They're just kids. They don't mean it." 54:01 — Georgia's advice to mums of children with additional needs: "Don't stop your kid from doing things — they can do anything they want to." 54:25 — Ashling on her early fears: "I thought she'd never cycle a bike." Georgia now cycles a bike. 56:18 — Ashling's advice to parents who've just received a diagnosis: "Enjoy it. Don't waste your time worrying. And never be afraid to stand up to the doctors." 59:55 — Ashling's advice to couples raising children with extra needs: listen to each other, communicate, and make time for yourself — even when Mikey has to push you out the door to the girls' trip 01:02:11 — On why the girls' trips matter: "You forget your responsibilities. All you have to worry about is what togs you're wearing to the pool." 01:03:18 — A raw moment: a recent trip to Crumlin Hospital where Georgia's infusion was cancelled after a full day's effort — and how Ashling handled it 01:06:22 — Closing reflections and final words of love for Georgia and Ashling 01:07:06 — Georgia and Ashling share the songs that lift them up 01:08:13 — Sign-off: Orla and Leanne wrap up, and Georgia gets the final word on the outro

How's Your Ma: Episode 6

In this episode, Leanne and Orla sit down with Keith Dixon — personal trainer, coach, and friend for 16 years — for one of the most open and honest conversations yet. Born and raised in Blanchardstown, Keith has spent 25+ years in the fitness industry, but his story goes far deeper than the gym floor. Keith opens up about growing up as the eldest of five in a tight-knit Dublin community, the lessons his parents instilled in him, and how that shaped who he became as a father, friend, and coach. He talks candidly about co-parenting after a separation, the moment he found himself homeless and living in a hostel, dark thoughts that crept in during that time, and how movement, mindset work, and the right people helped pull him through. The conversation takes in men's mental health, loneliness in modern life, the "manosphere" and its influence on young people, unrealistic body image pressures, emotional affairs, and the ripple effect of one person shaping another. Keith also reflects on the ten trainers he's sent out into the fitness world, his relationship with his brother and sisters, and what turning 50 really means to him. Raw, real, and full of Dublin warmth — this one hits different. Timecodes: 00:00 — Introductions: meet Keith Dixon, friend for 16 years and coach 01:28 — Growing up in Blanchardstown, the eldest of five 05:17 — Childhood holidays, community spirit & how times have changed 06:56 — Blanchardstown reality: salt of the earth people, hard lives, and the lads who made it through 09:29 — Co-parenting after separation — putting the boys first, always 10:15 — Quality time with Joshua and Zachary as they grow up 17:00 — Losing the gym: chains on the door and starting over 26:24 — Homeless and living in a hostel — the lowest point 27:03 — Dark thoughts, the window, and choosing to get up and walk 28:23 — Losing people to suicide — personal loss and community grief 33:17 — Men's mental health: meditation, breathwork, shadow work and doing the inner work 35:29 — Loneliness in crowds — the silent epidemic 36:06 — Emotional affairs and the real cost of disconnection in relationships 38:18 — Co-parenting done right: why the boys always came first 42:11 — His sisters, the family tribe, and the Irish mammy way 47:02 — Being best man for his brother — what it meant more than words could say 48:39 — The ripple effect: 10 trainers who started with Keith 50:50 — Mindset over body: why physical change starts in the head 55:43 — What he'd say to a daughter today — body image, safety & the world young women face 57:31 — What he'd say to young men — be your true self, do the work 59:15 — The manosphere, online influence, and guiding kids through it 01:01:20 — His son Joshua and not following the crowd 01:02:46 — Steroids, unrealistic fitness expectations, and the truth about body transformations 01:03:51 — The one song that's always kept him going (AC/DC — Thunderstruck) 01:04:30 — Reflections on turning 50 and how profoundly life has changed 01:05:15 — A heartfelt sign-off between old friends

How's Your Ma: Episode 5

In this deeply moving episode, Leanne and Orla are joined in the studio by Anita — a 57-year-old mother of five, grandmother of six, and domestic violence support worker who reached out to share her extraordinary story. Growing up as the eldest of five in a home marked by domestic abuse, neglect, and emotional trauma, Anita became a little mother at nine years old and carried the weight of her family long before she had a family of her own. From teenage pregnancies and a difficult marriage to raising five children alone without electricity, to eventually building a career, getting her honours degree, and dedicating her life to supporting women fleeing abuse — Anita's story is one of raw honesty, hard-won resilience, and the profound power of even one good person showing up for you. This one will stay with you. Timecodes: 00:00 — Welcome & introducing guest Anita 00:49 — What this episode is about: how our experiences shape the relationships we carry forward 01:04 — Anita introduces herself: 57, five kids, six grandkids, works in domestic violence services 01:45 — Single parenthood, defying expectations & raising five professionals 02:19 — Running a preschool for 20 years, going to college, and earning her honours degree 03:07 — Losing her business during Covid & reinventing herself in domestic violence work 03:12 — What Anita's day-to-day work looks like: crisis support, refuge, housing & education 04:45 — Going back to the beginning: growing up in a traumatic home environment 05:03 — "If I'm ever a mammy, I'll never do this to my little girl" — Anita's earliest memory 05:13 — Domestic abuse and child abuse in the home — physical and emotional 05:50 — Anita as the eldest child: neglect began at nine when her mother returned to work full time 06:28 — Left at home with her father — a heavy drinker with his own history of trauma 07:40 — Money, food, and cigarette butts in the stew — the reality of growing up in that house 09:17 — Did her parents love her? Understanding her father's violence through his own childhood 09:49 — Her mother: idolised as a child, emotionally unavailable as a parent 10:44 — The middle child favourite & what Anita came to understand about her mother 12:23 — Nine years old, cooking dinners and running the washing machine 22:33 — Leaving home at 17 — and what life had been like until then 23:06 — Different outcomes for different siblings & the ACEs framework explained 24:15 — Repeating the cycle: ending up in a difficult marriage, just like home 25:10 — Bringing her mum to her college graduation — and the response she got 25:52 — Proudest moment: four of them sitting around the table doing their studies together 26:58 — Teenage pregnancy: finding out at five months, being given three days to leave home 32:19 — The neighbour who took her in and loaned her the deposit — "you only need one good person" 34:18 — The night her first baby was born — ringing her mother from the hospital 40:49 — Christmas Day and the cycle of violence at home — "we dreaded Christmas" 42:18 — Married, alone, no electricity for nine months — cooking on the fire for her kids 43:49 — He came back, they married — and she knew walking down the aisle it was wrong 44:46 — Moving the family to escape heroin hitting their area 45:14 — Discovering her husband was taking drugs; going missing for days 46:11 — Having baby number five and being sterilised — a friend's husband signed the papers 46:53 — The women who shaped her life at different stages 47:45 — Moving back to Dublin, starting over — first day at work and the fire incident that became the final catalyst 48:59 — Her mother's emotional unavailability — physically present, emotionally gone 50:17 — Getting a job on a CE scheme, moving up quickly to manager, starting to bloom 52:25 — "I can see you're getting strong" — her eldest daughter at 18 53:48 — Her mother's relationship with the grandkids — hilarious but harmful 55:19 — Song of her life: Be a Clown — singing in the beds with her brothers and sisters to drown it all out 56:30 — Wrapping up: what Anita gives back every day to the women she supports 57:14 — "You are an absolute queen. You are an absolute survivor."