6. You Are the Juiciest Peach 🍑

Beskrivelse

Multiple people have asked me the same question over the past few months: Which book has made the biggest impact on you and why? 📚 Each time, I can’t help but go back to the same book. Not Nice by Dr. Aziz Gazipura. I haven’t even finished the book yet (it’s a mega-chonker at almost 500 pages), but DAMN it is good. Once you make it through, you will undoubtedly have many practical tips and clarity on why you should unapologetically be yourself, assertively ask for what you want, and stop seeking approval in others. This book completely changed my life. You’re Not for Everyone In the book, Dr. Aziz talks about approval seeking as a “Bag of Ones”: Your Bag of Ones was explained to me by a bright and perceptive coach I met at a conference. She explained it this way: If you were to go into a room of 100 people and say “hi” to everybody, 99 would say “hi” back and one would coldly stare you down and say, “Oh…it’s you. What are you doing here?” Whenever we go to a new environment — a networking event, a conference, a party, a new job, or anywhere else where we’re putting ourselves out there — we imagine that one person […] that gives us that cold, negative response, and add them to our Bag of Ones. Then we carry this bag over our shoulders, always anticipating a negative reception to everything we do. We have all the evidence we could ever need because we’re carrying around that sucker around on our backs. What would happen if we focus our energy on the 99 people who give us positive responses instead of the one person that we can’t satisfy? Dr. Aziz says, “The truth is, we don’t have control of whether people like us or not. The only things we have control over is how fully we show up.” What a relief — you don’t have to please everyone around you! 😅 You just have to show up as your boldly authentic self and say, “I’m not for everyone.” Knowing Your Boundaries Are you scared to show up in the world as your unapologetic self? Are you trying to make everyone like you? Are you carrying around a Bag of Ones? If so, start setting boundaries between yourself and the people around you. Ask yourself these questions to strengthen your sense of self: * What do I love? (like, appreciate, enjoy) * What do I hate? (dislike, find annoying, bothersome, irritating) * What do I believe? (“I believe _________”) * What is great about me? (strengths, positive qualities, endearing traits) * What is my purpose? (your goals, reason for life) Once you do this exercise and obtain a stronger relationship with yourself, you will take back your power to be more assertive and confident. P.S. Confidence is sexy! 😉 Would you rather have: * 99/100 people like you when you show up as the fake you; OR * 20/100 people like you when you show up as the real you? “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches.” - Dita Von Teese Resources: * Not Nice by Dr. Aziz Gazipura: https://notnicebook.com/ [https://notnicebook.com/] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.hyprfocus.com [https://www.hyprfocus.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

4. Repetition > Perfection

Is anybody perfect at anything? NO! So, why do people spend an ungodly amount of time trying to make their work flawless? 🤦‍♀️ Is perfection even attainable? What is Perfectionism? Perfectionism is a fear of failing, making mistakes, being judged, and not meeting people’s expectations. Put simply: we strive for perfection in order to avoid guilt or shame (guilt = I did a bad thing; shame = I am a bad person). So what does that look like in the real world? * YouTubers/Podcasters: trying to make captions, lighting, and video flawless * Presenters: tweaking your slides with detail your audience won’t remember * Writers: over-editing and rewriting content * Software Developers: making the interface look faultless rather than focusing on basic functionality * Planners: making your itinerary so tight that it doesn’t allow for any spontaneity When is your work GOOD ENOUGH? Brené Brown implores her listeners to focus on excellence over perfectionism. Perfection is all about extrinsic motivation, while excellence is all about intrinsic motivation. Creating Excellent Work There are two key components to mastering your craft over time: 1. Focus on Repetition A lesson from the book Art & Fear about how quantity beats quality: 🏺 [A] ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing [his] class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality. His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pound of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot – albeit a perfect one – to get an “A”. Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work – and learning from their mistakes – the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay. The repetition of the “quantity” group made their skills took their skills beyond that of the “quality” group. 🚨 Cliché phrase alert: Practice makes perfect! 🚨 Another example of this I loved recently was on the “How I Write” podcast with David Perell. (Shout out to Michelle from Build a Wealthy Spirit for sending this to us!) On the podcast, Shaan Puri talked about MrBeast’s advice on how to become great at YouTube, which was to: Record 100 videos and each time, do something better than you did before. Shaan says, “It’s the perfect advice to give someone because it’s true and [for the few people who actually do the work] it saves both of us of the hassle if you actually followed [the advice].” 2. Lower the Barrier to Entry The second way to master your craft is to eliminate obstacles. If repetition generates quality, you must eliminate any barriers preventing the practice of your craft. My boyfriend Paul does a great job of this with his YouTube. In order to post a video EVERY SINGLE DAY for his channel (The Mangineer) he doesn’t edit the videos. He doesn’t generate captions. He doesn’t have fancy lighting. He knows that these things will prevent him from his daily video reps. Still, his videos continue to get better every day because he’s practicing. If you have a high barrier to entry, the likelihood of you following through is lowered. In the book The ONE Thing, the authors talk about how the best way to tackle a long to-do list is NOT to put in more time; the solution is to eliminate some of your tasks. Are you performing any superfluous tasks that can be eliminated to accomplish 80% of the quality in half the time? Resources: * Art & Fear by David Bayles and Ted Orland: https://a.co/d/4eDIKK3 [https://a.co/d/4eDIKK3] * How I Write Podcast with David Perell and guest Shaan Puri on How to Master Storytelling: * Build a Wealthy Spirit Podcast with Sammie and Michelle: * The Mangineer YouTube Channel with Paul Santana: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMangineer [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMangineer] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.hyprfocus.com [https://www.hyprfocus.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

14. apr. 202411 min

6. You Are the Juiciest Peach 🍑

Beskrivelse

Kommentarer

2 måneder kun 19 kr.

Alle episoder