Love, Happiness, and Success For Therapists

Talking About Sex in Therapy: The Conversation Grad School Skipped | Dr. Nicole McNichols | E101

56 min · 10. juni 2026
episode Talking About Sex in Therapy: The Conversation Grad School Skipped | Dr. Nicole McNichols | E101 cover

Beskrivelse

After 25 years as a psychologist, I still catch myself doing it. A client edges toward something sexual, I reflect, I validate, and I quietly move us somewhere safer. If you have done the same thing in a session, you are not a bad clinician. You were just never taught how to stay in that moment, and almost none of us were. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Nicole McNichols, the University of Washington professor who teaches the largest human sexuality course in the country, more than four thousand students a year. Nicole is not a sex therapist. She is the person who teaches the next generation of clinicians, and I wanted her read on the gap most of us walked out of grad school with: what to actually do when sex shows up in the room. Her new book, You Could Be Having Better Sex, just landed, and it turns out to be a genuinely useful tool for our clients too. In This Episode: * Why generalist training programs skip sex almost entirely, and what that absence quietly costs your clients * The assumption that fixing a couple's communication will fix their sex life, and why the research often runs the other way * How to open a conversation about sex without feeling like you are prying for salacious details * What more than two thousand couples revealed over four years about which kind of satisfaction comes first * How a caregiving role can quietly erode desire, and the parenting complaint that is often really about sex * The moment a presenting sexual concern is not a sex problem at all, and what scope of competence asks of you then * How to handle attraction, transference, and your own discomfort when sexual material enters the room * Where your scope as a relationally trained generalist ends and an AASECT-certified sex therapist's begins This episode is for any clinician who has sat across from a client, felt the conversation drift toward sex, and chosen, almost without deciding to, to steer somewhere else. Maybe you told yourself it was outside your scope, or that the client was not ready, or that it simply was not the focus of the work. I have told myself all three. This conversation is about what becomes possible when we stop avoiding the one topic we were never trained to hold, and start treating it as part of the work we are already good at. Episode Breakdown 00:00:00 The Conversation We Quietly Steer Around 00:03:51 Why Sexual Health Is Clinical, Not Peripheral 00:04:43 Fix the Relationship, Fix the Sex? Not Quite 00:08:33 How to Open the Door Without Feeling Intrusive 00:12:30 Sex as the Skill Set That Builds the Whole Relationship 00:15:27 What the Research Actually Shows 00:17:23 Using a Book as a Clinical Tool 00:25:22 When It's Not a Sex Problem 00:34:04 The Transference Nobody Prepped You For 00:40:14 Where Your Scope Ends and a Sex Therapist's Begins Resources * Full episode and show notes [www.growingself.com/talking-about-sex-in-therapy/] * The Therapist Growth Collective [www.growingself.com/therapist-growth-collective%E2%81%A0] If this episode put words to something you have been quietly carrying, share it with one colleague who would feel the same way. That is the whole game with a show like this. And if you want an ongoing place to keep growing into the parts of the work grad school skipped, come find us. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  Growing Self [https://www.growingself.com/]

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episode Booked Solid. Broke Anyway. The Therapist Money Crisis Nobody Talks About | E103 cover

Booked Solid. Broke Anyway. The Therapist Money Crisis Nobody Talks About | E103

You're fully booked. The money is coming in. So why does your bank account still feel stressed? If you've ever looked around your practice and thought, "I should be making more than this..." you're not imagining it. In this episode, I sit down with CPA and cash flow strategist Emily Bowie to talk about cash flow for therapists [http://www.growingself.com/cash-flow-for-therapists/] and the financial trap nobody warned us about: earning more is not the same thing as keeping more. Here's the uncomfortable truth: You can have a thriving practice. You can bring in hundreds of thousands of dollars. You can even build a multi-million-dollar business... ...and still have no idea where your money is going. I know because I did exactly that. At one point,I was leading a practice that looked to be very successful from the outside, but because I didn't know how to read a financial statement, there was so much I was missing and it caused major problems. In this episode, you'll learn: * Why "just get more clients" is often the worst solution to money stress * The hidden reason tax season feels like a yearly ambush * How to know if your sessions are actually profitable * The expense leaks quietly draining your practice * Why charging more isn't selfish—and may actually be ethical * The financial blind spots that can impact your clinical decisions * How to build a practice that supports both your clients and your future Because financial stress doesn't stay in your bank account. It follows you into your boundaries, your burnout, your pricing, and your decisions. And until you understand your numbers, you're flying blind. If you've ever thought, "I'm working this hard. Why doesn't it feel easier?" This episode is for you. www.growingself.com

8. juli 202653 min
episode Struggling in Therapy Private Practice? Here’s Why (And What To Do Differently) | E102 cover

Struggling in Therapy Private Practice? Here’s Why (And What To Do Differently) | E102

If your practice is growing but you're more exhausted than ever... if you're working nights and weekends just to stay caught up... if you're making more money but somehow feeling less free... this episode is for you. Because here's the truth nobody tells therapists: you can be exceptional at helping clients and still build a practice [https://www.growingself.com/private-practice-management-therapists/] that quietly burns you out. In this conversation, I'm joined by Dr. Jennifer Wisdom, a consulting psychologist and organizational consultant who has spent more than 25 years studying how organizations actually function. She helps leaders identify the hidden problems that keep businesses stuck, and today we're applying those insights directly to therapy practices. Because the biggest threat to your practice isn't a lack of clients. It's the management skills nobody ever taught you. The same qualities that make you a wonderful therapist—being deeply empathetic, avoiding conflict, carrying more than your share, and putting everyone else's needs first—can become the exact things that create overwhelm, chaos, and burnout when you're running a business. In this episode, you'll learn: * Why so many successful therapists secretly feel trapped by the practices they've built * The hidden difference between being a great clinician and being an effective practice owner * Why more clients and more revenue don't automatically create more freedom * The leadership mistake that leaves therapists carrying everything on their backs * How "being nice" can quietly undermine your team, culture, and profitability * Why AI, EHR systems, and productivity tools can't solve a management problem * The burnout warning signs that show up long before the numbers reveal a problem * The money metrics every practice owner should understand—but most never look at * How to delegate, give feedback, and lead without feeling like the bad guy * Where to start when your practice feels disorganized, overwhelming, or out of control This episode is a reality check, but it's also a roadmap. Because if you've been telling yourself that you just need to work harder, be more organized, or somehow get better at juggling it all, I want you to know something: the problem may not be you. It may be that nobody ever taught you how to run the business you built. And once you understand the difference, everything starts to make a lot more sense. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self [www.growingself.com]

1. juli 202654 min
episode Uncovering Your Blindspots: Cultural Competence in Therapy | LHSFT Classic cover

Uncovering Your Blindspots: Cultural Competence in Therapy | LHSFT Classic

All therapists have blindspots, and learning to recognize them is deep personal and professional growth work. It will make you more empathetic, more insightful, and more insightful, not only as a therapist, but also as a human.   But the thing about blindspots is... we can't see them! ⁠ Uncovering your blind spots to become a more culturally competent therapist⁠ [https://www.growingself.com/uncovering-blindspots-cultural-competence-in-therapy] is a process of self-exploration that will unearth perspectives and conditioning that you're not even aware of yet. It requires openness and courage, and it strengthens your capacity for self-reflection and connection to others.  That exploratory process is what we're talking about on this episode of Love, Happiness and Success for Therapists. My guest is Dr. Diane Estrada, a veteran of the craft and my long-time mentor. Diane brings so much heart and wisdom to her practice, as well as to her work helping others become the best therapists they can be. She's a treasure, and I'm so excited that I get to share her with you! Tune in to learn: 02:10 The Impact of Cultural and Identity Biases in Therapy 04:01 How to Develop Self-Awareness as a Therapist 12:08 Recognizing the Influence of Eurocentric Models 23:33 Reckoning with Feelings of Anger and Resentment 28:01 Seeing the Presence of Culture and Belief Systems 35:52 Practices for Growth and Development 39:52 The Importance of Checks and Balances 40:59 The Challenge of Engaging in Difficult Conversations 42:07 Understanding Your Clients' Context 43:30 Creating Courageous Space 44:18 Balancing Emotional Safety and Growth 45:08 Overcoming the Discomfort of Addressing Race   And more!   I hope you'll join us, and that you'll find our conversation as insightful and helpful as I did.    With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby    P.S. — Are you at risk of therapist burnout? Take my free quiz [https://s.pointerpro.com/flourish%E2%81%A0]and find out.

24. juni 202643 min
episode Can Therapists Give Advice? How to Empower Clients While Staying Ethical | LHSFT Classic cover

Can Therapists Give Advice? How to Empower Clients While Staying Ethical | LHSFT Classic

Ever had a client look at you, desperate for help, and ask, “What should I do?” Today, I’m pulling back the curtain on a dilemma that I hear from therapists all the time: “My clients are stuck, they need direction, and they’re asking me for advice. But I’m supposed to stay neutral, right?”  On one hand, we want to help, but on the other, we’ve been trained to stay neutral and let the client find their own answers. So ⁠can therapists give advice?⁠ [https://www.growingself.com/can-therapists-give-advice] What’s the right move when your client is stuck and clearly craving direction? In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success For Therapists, we're diving into the inner conflict therapists face between sticking to our non-directive, empathetic listening style and providing the more concrete guidance that many clients are asking for. I’ll also show how evidence-based coaching can complement therapy in a powerful way and provide that direction in your sessions. You’ll get clear, actionable steps on how to navigate this tricky balance—without stepping outside of your ethical boundaries. You don’t want to miss this! Episode Breakdown 00:00 Introduction: The Therapist's Dilemma 02:49 What Is the Role of a Therapist? 06:35 Why Do Therapists Struggle to Be More Direct? 09:16 How to Balance Client Expectations with Therapeutic Boundaries 15:19 Is Coaching the Solution? 20:24 What's the Difference Between Therapy and Coaching? 27:38 How Can Therapists Become Certified Coaches? 34:29 Resources for Therapists and Coaches If you’re feeling inspired by what I’ve shared and you’re ready to give your clients the directive support that they need, I’d love to invite you to take the next step in your professional development with my BCC-Accredited ⁠ Coaching Certification for Therapists⁠ [https://courses.growingself.com/coaching-certification-for-therapists].  This program is designed specifically for therapists like you who want to build coaching competencies while staying within the ethical boundaries of your practice. You’ll receive 30 CEU credits for completing the certification and walk away with the skills to deliver more actionable, client-centered guidance that will help your clients get the results they’re asking for.  👉 ⁠ Transform your practice by learning how to coach⁠ [https://courses.growingself.com/coaching-certification-for-therapists]. If you want to stay updated on the latest podcast episodes, learn about upcoming free CEU webinars, and be a part of a supportive professional network, I’d love to connect with you on LinkedIn! ⁠Find me at Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drlisabobby/]. I share research, training opportunities, and news updates to help you grow, develop new skills, and thrive! Xoxo ⁠Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby⁠ [https://www.growingself.com/therapists/] ⁠ www.growingself.com⁠ [https://courses.growingself.com/coaching-certification-for-therapists] PS: If you found this episode valuable, think about someone in your professional community who could benefit from this conversation. Share it with them, and let’s keep the discussion going!

17. juni 202641 min
episode Talking About Sex in Therapy: The Conversation Grad School Skipped | Dr. Nicole McNichols | E101 cover

Talking About Sex in Therapy: The Conversation Grad School Skipped | Dr. Nicole McNichols | E101

After 25 years as a psychologist, I still catch myself doing it. A client edges toward something sexual, I reflect, I validate, and I quietly move us somewhere safer. If you have done the same thing in a session, you are not a bad clinician. You were just never taught how to stay in that moment, and almost none of us were. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Nicole McNichols, the University of Washington professor who teaches the largest human sexuality course in the country, more than four thousand students a year. Nicole is not a sex therapist. She is the person who teaches the next generation of clinicians, and I wanted her read on the gap most of us walked out of grad school with: what to actually do when sex shows up in the room. Her new book, You Could Be Having Better Sex, just landed, and it turns out to be a genuinely useful tool for our clients too. In This Episode: * Why generalist training programs skip sex almost entirely, and what that absence quietly costs your clients * The assumption that fixing a couple's communication will fix their sex life, and why the research often runs the other way * How to open a conversation about sex without feeling like you are prying for salacious details * What more than two thousand couples revealed over four years about which kind of satisfaction comes first * How a caregiving role can quietly erode desire, and the parenting complaint that is often really about sex * The moment a presenting sexual concern is not a sex problem at all, and what scope of competence asks of you then * How to handle attraction, transference, and your own discomfort when sexual material enters the room * Where your scope as a relationally trained generalist ends and an AASECT-certified sex therapist's begins This episode is for any clinician who has sat across from a client, felt the conversation drift toward sex, and chosen, almost without deciding to, to steer somewhere else. Maybe you told yourself it was outside your scope, or that the client was not ready, or that it simply was not the focus of the work. I have told myself all three. This conversation is about what becomes possible when we stop avoiding the one topic we were never trained to hold, and start treating it as part of the work we are already good at. Episode Breakdown 00:00:00 The Conversation We Quietly Steer Around 00:03:51 Why Sexual Health Is Clinical, Not Peripheral 00:04:43 Fix the Relationship, Fix the Sex? Not Quite 00:08:33 How to Open the Door Without Feeling Intrusive 00:12:30 Sex as the Skill Set That Builds the Whole Relationship 00:15:27 What the Research Actually Shows 00:17:23 Using a Book as a Clinical Tool 00:25:22 When It's Not a Sex Problem 00:34:04 The Transference Nobody Prepped You For 00:40:14 Where Your Scope Ends and a Sex Therapist's Begins Resources * Full episode and show notes [www.growingself.com/talking-about-sex-in-therapy/] * The Therapist Growth Collective [www.growingself.com/therapist-growth-collective%E2%81%A0] If this episode put words to something you have been quietly carrying, share it with one colleague who would feel the same way. That is the whole game with a show like this. And if you want an ongoing place to keep growing into the parts of the work grad school skipped, come find us. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  Growing Self [https://www.growingself.com/]

10. juni 202656 min