Prior Propper Planning is Critical

Prior Propper Planning is Critical

Doug shares tips for surviving the 4th of July picnic with family while avoiding arguments.   Listener questions and comments: * Doug - At the family functions there is an emphasis on the drinking during the 4th. I can’t drink because my dad is an alcoholic so I want to know what I should do. (29:27) * Jane - My son in law's father died from alcohol and I find that he drinks too much. What should I do? Should I say something? (38:42) * Julie - For the 4th I always use leading questions like you do in the beginning of your show that are not threatening at the dinner table. (44:23) * Judy - My husband was an alcoholic and I want to say having beer and wine around isn’t the solution if the problem is hard stuff. But prayer is the best thing to do. (46:16)   Resources: Reasons we argue at family gatherings 1. Family knows where the hot buttons are 2. We tend to regress when we are around family 3. Holidays are loaded with expectations 4. The weather adds fuel to the fire   8 tips to avoid unnecessary arguments 1. Decide before you arrive, what person you want to be 2. Know your triggers – What topics usually get you hooked? 3. Stop trying to change people at the picnic table 4. Use some short boundary statements 5. Lower the temperature instead of raising it 6. Change the topic 7. Change the setting 8. Come up with a code word for you and your spouse to use

Standing up against No-fault divorce

Are you a victim of a no-fault divorce? Today, Mary Bowan joins Doug to discuss her efforts to overturn the no-fault divorce law in Texas.   Listener questions and comments: * Patrick - I went through a no-fault divorce and my wife threatened to say 'cruel and unusual punishment' which just means she is mean to me. (23:46) * Karen - This happened to me and they called it irreconcilable differences. It feels like your spouse and court are against you. It’s been 22 years and you feel like you made a mistake. (36:07) * Steve - I want to support and let’s get this done in Texas! (38:00) * Stan - I went through one and I want to tell you that this should be a class lawsuit. I don’t know how you can do this on your own. (39:06) * Frank - What hope do you have for people who are happily married what signs should we look for to prevent this? (41:00) * Tony - My wife alienated my daughter from me and would turn my kids against me and now my kids are getting divorced. I am a stander as well. (45:33)   Resources: https://www.texasnofault.com/ [https://www.texasnofault.com/]

Should you change your name after divorce?

Should you change your name after a divorce? What do you do when your wife has a chronic, incurable illness, and most of the responsibilities at home fall on you and your children? How do you cope when your wife feels guilty and worries about the burden placed on you? Do struggles with pornography make it difficult to give full consent to marriage? Doug goes to the mailbag answering these questions and more.   Listener questions and comments: * Pete - My friend is so hurt from his separation that he is withdrawing from everything in his life. What do we do? (9:34) * Ronda - Regarding a name change after divorced, you should do what makes you feel more comfortable. (13:44) * Rose - I kept my name after the divorce because I wanted to have the same name as my kids. (17:02) * Jeff - My wife had an ex-husband and had kids with me and now they have the old husband’s name. It’s a mess. (22:46) * Mary - I kept mine because I am a stander and we are still married in the eyes of God. (25:24) * Sarina - My mom changed her name and that’s how I met my husband. (38:05) * Mary - It’s important to realize that marriage is sacrificial and it doesn’t always lead to happiness (39:48) * Angelica - I was married for 16 years and I took my name back because my in laws didn’t like me. I didn’t think it was fair and I explained it to my son. (41:49)   Resources:   https://www.federalregister.gov/documents/2026/05/13/2026-09479/excepted-fertility-benefits?mc_cid=583286c936#open-comment [https://www.federalregister.gov/documents/2026/05/13/2026-09479/excepted-fertility-benefits?mc_cid=583286c936#open-comment]   It’s Your Turn Now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urgp4IiOXDk [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urgp4IiOXDk]   Reclaimed: Win the War of Freedom, Self-Mastery, and Holy Purity https://scepterpublishers.org/products/reclaimed-win-the-war-of-freedom-self-mastery-and-holy-purity?srsltid=AfmBOorMA4RbYh_WzayDVdBX3vpx7hGA7-OpnEEYKLuUlxpeZ4EPp1lp&variant=46653355524273 [https://scepterpublishers.org/products/reclaimed-win-the-war-of-freedom-self-mastery-and-holy-purity?srsltid=AfmBOorMA4RbYh_WzayDVdBX3vpx7hGA7-OpnEEYKLuUlxpeZ4EPp1lp&variant=46653355524273]

Rules for Relationships

Relationship coach Rose Sweet joins Doug to discuss the foundations of good marriages.   Listener questions and comments: * Denise - My boyfriend’s best friend is a concern to me. He wants me to meet her and her husband. I feel weird about it. (9:38) * Shirley - My daughter is 'Christian' but has a second marriage. The kid from the first marriage still lives at home at 34. Is my daughter putting her kids before her husband? (19:07) * LeeAnn - I was in a friendship with a guy but then he got married and I took the hint and distanced myself from him. (25:55)   Resources: Rules for relationships 1. Listen 2. Lead 3. Love 4. Let go   Rose Sweet https://rosesweet.com/ [https://rosesweet.com/]

Marriage Across Different Seasons

You be the therapist as Doug shares the stories of two couples—one celebrating 30 years of marriage and the other just beginning their journey as newlyweds.   Listener questions and comments: * Joe - My wife has decided to leave the Church and had a sterilization without my consent. What do I do? (5:02) * Mary - Comment for Joe: His wife did what she did because she felt like she had no control over her pain. She needs to feel like she is in control. (16:57) * Joe - Is it a bad idea to elope? I want it to be valid but I want my parents not to know. (20:58) * Mary - Comment: if I had ever met a man like Doug, I would be happily married but I should have never got married. My husband is dead but he was a pain in the butt. (34:34) * David - For the 30-year marriage one of them or both have given up hope on communicating with each other. There needs to be a safe place to go where they can share the pain and get through it. (39:57) * Jennifer - For the younger couple they need to sit down and have a clear goal about what they are doing to get out of the house and maybe doing more things that get them out of the house. (43:39)   Resources:   Catholic Therapists https://catholictherapists.com/ [https://catholictherapists.com/]   Catholic Psychotherapy https://catholicpsychotherapy.org/ [https://catholicpsychotherapy.org/]   Emotionally Focused Therapy https://iceeft.com/ [https://iceeft.com/]