Limerence, Attachment and the Other We Create : Episode 19

Limerence, Attachment and the Other We Create : Episode 19

🎧 Episode 19: Limerence, Attachment, and the Other We Create What happens when longing becomes more real than the person it is attached to? In this episode of Mind the Body, I explore the psychology of limerence - the intense, consuming experience of longing for another person who often remains emotionally unavailable, uncertain, or just out of reach. Drawing on attachment theory, psychoanalytic thinking, and Tennyson's The Lady of Shalott, I examine why limerence can feel so powerful, why it is rarely about the other person alone. Together, we explore how early attachment experiences shape our expectations of love, how the mind constructs an internal version of the other, and why healing requires more than understanding. Beneath limerence lies something deeper: grief, longing, and the possibility of creating a new experience of connection. In This Episode: * What limerence is and why it can feel so consuming * How attachment patterns shape romantic longing * The internal world we create around the people we desire * Why insight alone cannot resolve limerence * The relationship between longing, grief, and healing * What it means to turn from fantasy toward reality A Question to Sit With: What might my longing be trying to tell me about the kind of love, care, or recognition I needed long before this person appeared? References: Chefetz, R., Soffer-Dudek, N., & Somer, E. (2023). When Daydreaming Becomes Maladaptive: Phenomenological and Psychoanalytic Perspectives. Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, 37, 319–338. Sperling, M. B. (1988). Phenomenology and Developmental Origins of Desperate Love. Psychoanalysis and Contemporary Thought, 11(4), 741–761. Tennov, D. (1979). Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. Stein and Day. Verhulst, J. (1984). Limerence: Notes on the Nature and Function of Passionate Love. Psychoanalysis and Contemporary Thought, 7(1), 115–138. Winnicott, D. W. (1974). Fear of Breakdown. International Review of Psycho-Analysis, 1, 103–107. Take a breath, stay curious, and explore what it truly means to Mind The Body. Join the Community * Subscribe or follow the show so you never miss an episode. * Share this episode with a friend who’s exploring body image healing, the mind–body connection, emotional healing, and the patterns that shape how we see ourselves. * Connect or learn more: www.yvettevuaran.com [http://www.yvettevuaran.com/]  * Sign up for my Mind The Body Newsletter [https://www.yvettevuaran.com/signup-52d63cef-7882-4aaa-8e09-aae41281f6e0] * Follow @mindthebodypodcast [https://www.instagram.com/mindthebodypodcast/] @yvettevuaran [https://www.instagram.com/yvettevuaran/]

The Body We Are Leaving Behind - AI, the Machine Gaze, and the Foreclosure of Mourning : Episode 18

🎧 Episode 18: The Body We Are Leaving Behind - AI, the Machine Gaze, and the Foreclosure of Mourning What happens when technology begins to shape not only how we think, but how we experience our bodies? In this episode of Mind the Body, I explore how AI and algorithmic environments are transforming our relationship with embodiment, identity, and emotional life. Drawing on psychoanalytic theory, contemporary reflections on artificial intelligence, and my work as a psychotherapist, I examine how the machine gaze is reshaping self-perception, how AI-generated ideals can distance us from lived experience, and why mourning remains central to psychological growth. As technology increasingly promises optimisation, certainty, and escape from discomfort, I ask what may be lost when we become disconnected from the realities of being human: vulnerability, dependency, and mortality. In This Episode: * How AI is changing our relationship with the body * The impact of the machine gaze on self-image * Why digital ideals can distance us from lived experience * Mourning and psychological development * What therapy offers that AI cannot * Why healing remains an embodied process A Question to Sit With: What aspects of being fully human - vulnerable, embodied, and mortal - am I being encouraged to move away from, and what might it mean to return to them? References: Ammaniti, M. (2018). Implicit Knowledge from Infancy to the Psychotherapeutic Relationship. Psychoanalytic Inquiry, 38(2). Levy, A. (2026). The New Other: Alien Intelligence and the Innovation Drive. Karnac. Lemma, A. (2017). The Digital Age on the Couch: Psychoanalytic Practice and New Media. Routledge. Lemma, A. (2026). Psychotechnical Becomings: Psychoanalysis, Identity, Desire, and Mourning in the Age of AI and Digital Mediation. Routledge. Vuaran, Y. (2025). The Future of Therapy: Human Connection in the Age of AI. https://www.yvettevuaran.com/blog/the-future-of-therapy-human-connection-in-the-age-of-ai [https://www.yvettevuaran.com/blog/the-future-of-therapy-human-connection-in-the-age-of-ai] Winnicott, D. W. (1960). Ego Distortion in Terms of True and False Self. In The Maturational Processes and the Facilitating Environment. Hogarth Press. Take a breath, stay curious, and explore what it truly means to Mind The Body. Join the Community * Subscribe or follow the show so you never miss an episode. * Share this episode with a friend who’s exploring body image healing, the mind–body connection, emotional healing, and the patterns that shape how we see ourselves. * Connect or learn more: www.yvettevuaran.com [http://www.yvettevuaran.com/]  * Sign up for my Mind The Body Newsletter [https://www.yvettevuaran.com/signup-52d63cef-7882-4aaa-8e09-aae41281f6e0] * Follow @mindthebodypodcast [https://www.instagram.com/mindthebodypodcast/] @yvettevuaran [https://www.instagram.com/yvettevuaran/]

Invited In - AI, Attachment, and Emotional Truth : Episode 17

🎧 Episode 17: Invited In - AI, Attachment, and Emotional Truth What happens when we begin turning to AI for emotional reassurance, certainty, and answers that once belonged to human relationships? In this episode of Mind the Body, I explore AI through the lens of attachment and psychoanalytic thinking. As more people use AI to process conflict, loneliness, self-doubt, and relational pain, I examine what may be lost when emotional complexity is replaced with immediate interpretation and certainty. I explore how AI can soothe discomfort while also bypassing the vulnerability, ambiguity, and mutuality required for genuine healing. In This Episode: * AI through the lens of attachment and psychoanalytic thought * Why our capacity to stay with uncertainty matters for emotional growth * How AI is designed to reduce ambiguity and provide reassurance * The difference between validation and emotional truth * How AI may reinforce emotional avoidance and relational self-protection * Why healing still depends on embodied human connection A Question to Sit With: What emotional uncertainty am I trying to escape when I seek immediate answers or reassurance from AI? References: Hendrix, H. (2020). Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples (Revised Edition). Simon & Schuster UK. Levy, A. (2026). The New Other: Alien Intelligence and the Innovation Drive. Karnac. Levy, A. & Orbach, S. (2026). Amy Levy and Susie Orbach Discuss AI in Psychoanalysis [YouTube interview].  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6KygDzwzrJ8&pp=0gcJCU8Co7VqN5tD&ra=m [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6KygDzwzrJ8&pp=0gcJCU8Co7VqN5tD&ra=m] Lemma, A. (2026). Psychotechnical Becomings: Psychoanalysis, Identity, Desire, and Mourning in the Age of AI and Digital Mediation. Routledge. Project Hail Mary (2026 film). Vuaran, Y. (2025). The Future of Therapy: Human Connection in the Age of AI. [Blog post] https://www.yvettevuaran.com/blog/the-future-of-therapy-human-connection-in-the-age-of-ai [https://www.yvettevuaran.com/blog/the-future-of-therapy-human-connection-in-the-age-of-ai] Take a breath, stay curious, and explore what it truly means to Mind The Body. Join the Community * Subscribe or follow the show so you never miss an episode. * Share this episode with a friend who’s exploring body image healing, the mind–body connection, emotional healing, and the patterns that shape how we see ourselves. * Connect or learn more: www.yvettevuaran.com [http://www.yvettevuaran.com/]  * Sign up for my Mind The Body Newsletter [https://www.yvettevuaran.com/signup-52d63cef-7882-4aaa-8e09-aae41281f6e0] * Follow @mindthebodypodcast [https://www.instagram.com/mindthebodypodcast/] @yvettevuaran [https://www.instagram.com/yvettevuaran/]

Body Image in Survival Mode - The Impact of Insecure Attachment on How You See Your Body : Episode 16

🎧 Episode 16: Body Image in Survival Mode - The Impact of Insecure Attachment on How You See Your Body Why can a difficult moment in a relationship suddenly leave you feeling intensely critical of your body? In this episode of Mind the Body, I explore how insecure attachment can place body image into survival mode. When relationships feel uncertain through withdrawal, criticism, distance, or emotional disconnection, the nervous system can respond as though connection itself is under threat. For some, that distress gets expressed through the body: self-criticism intensifies, the urge to control appearance grows, or the desire to disappear takes over. I explore how these protective patterns develop, why the body often becomes the place where relational anxiety is carried, and what healing looks like through building inner safety and safe connection. In This Episode: * How insecure attachment impacts body image * The six survival patterns that can shape body image distress * Why the body carries relational memory * How perfectionism, control, and withdrawal function as protection * The 3-R healing framework: Recognise, Reflect, Rewire * Why healing happens through building safety in relationship A Question to Sit With: What relational fear might be underneath your body image distress? References: Fonagy, P. & Target, M. (2002). Early intervention and the development of self-regulation. Psychoanalytic Inquiry, 22(3), 307-335. Marriott, S. & Kelley, T. (2024). Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World. Harper Collins Publishers. Parnell, L. (2013). Attachment-Focused EMDR: Healing Relational Trauma. W.W. Norton & Company. Schnackenberg, N. (2020). Body image issues 1/5: Early attachment. PESI UK. Retrieved from https://www.pesi.co.uk/blogs/body-image-issues-1-5-early-attachment/ [https://www.pesi.co.uk/blogs/body-image-issues-1-5-early-attachment/] Siegel, D. (2015). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. Take a breath, stay curious, and explore what it truly means to Mind The Body. Join the Community * Subscribe or follow the show so you never miss an episode. * Share this episode with a friend who’s exploring body image healing, the mind–body connection, emotional healing, and the patterns that shape how we see ourselves. * Connect or learn more: www.yvettevuaran.com [http://www.yvettevuaran.com/]  * Sign up for my Mind The Body Newsletter [https://www.yvettevuaran.com/signup-52d63cef-7882-4aaa-8e09-aae41281f6e0] * Follow @mindthebodypodcast [https://www.instagram.com/mindthebodypodcast/] @yvettevuaran [https://www.instagram.com/yvettevuaran/]

The Body at the Edge of Love - Body Image Disturbance in the Space Between Us : Episode 15

🎧 Episode 15: The Body at the Edge of Love – Body Image Disturbance in the Space Between Us Why does body image disturbance often get louder just as closeness becomes possible? In this episode of Mind the Body, I explore the relationship between body image disturbance, attachment, shame, and emotional intimacy. When someone begins to matter to us - whether in romance, friendship, or vulnerability - the body can suddenly feel more exposed. Self-criticism may intensify, old insecurities can reappear, and the urge to hide can become surprisingly strong. Drawing on attachment theory, psychoanalytic thinking, and contemporary work on shame, I explore why these experiences can emerge so powerfully in moments of closeness. We look at how early relational experiences shape the way we experience being seen, why the body often becomes the place where relational fears are expressed, and how body image disturbance may function as a protective response at the edge of connection. In This Episode * Why body image disturbance often intensifies in moments of closeness * How attachment patterns shape our experience of being seen * Why the body carries relational memory * The connection between shame, vulnerability, and body image disturbance * How self-criticism can function as protection * Why healing often happens through safe relationships A Question to Sit With: What might your body be trying to protect you from when closeness begins to feel possible? References: Bowlby, J. (1989). The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds. Routledge. Brown, B. (2013). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Penguin. DeYoung, P. (2015). Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame: A Relational/Neurobiological Approach. Routledge. Granieri, A., & Schimmenti, A. (2014). Mind–body splitting and eating disorders: A psychoanalytic perspective. Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, 28(1), 52–70. Lemma, A. (2009). Being seen or being watched? A psychoanalytic perspective on body dysmorphia. International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 90(4), 753–771. Orbach, S. (2009). Bodies. Profile Books. Steele, M., Steele, H., & Beebe, B. (2017). Applying an attachment and microanalytic lens to “embodied mentalization”: Commentary on “Mentalizing homeostasis: The social origins of interoceptive inference” by Fotopoulou and Tsakiris. Neuropsychoanalysis, 19(1), 59–66. Winnicott, D. W. (1971). Playing and Reality. Routledge. Take a breath, stay curious, and explore what it truly means to Mind The Body. Join the Community * Subscribe or follow the show so you never miss an episode. * Share this episode with a friend who’s exploring body image healing, the mind–body connection, emotional healing, and the patterns that shape how we see ourselves. * Connect or learn more: www.yvettevuaran.com [http://www.yvettevuaran.com/]  * Sign up for my Mind The Body Newsletter [https://www.yvettevuaran.com/signup-52d63cef-7882-4aaa-8e09-aae41281f6e0] * Follow @mindthebodypodcast [https://www.instagram.com/mindthebodypodcast/] @yvettevuaran [https://www.instagram.com/yvettevuaran/]