Bad Friend Paradox; When You Care Deeply but Still Forget

Bad Friend Paradox; When You Care Deeply but Still Forget

Have you ever been called a bad friend because you forgot to reply? Forgot to call? Forgot a birthday? Forgot someone existed for three months and then suddenly remembered them at 2am? In this episode of NeuroSpice & Life, late-diagnosed neurodivergent hosts Freya Corboy and Hanna Hosking unpack one of the most painful misconceptions about ADHD, autism, and neurodivergent friendships: the belief that forgetting means we don't care. For many neurodivergent people, friendship isn't maintained through constant contact, perfect memory, or social consistency. We often operate with an unspoken assumption that our friendships continue to exist, even when we haven't spoken for weeks, months, or sometimes years. The intention isn't to neglect people. The intention is often the exact opposite. We want friendships that can survive without constant maintenance. Friendships that pick up exactly where they left off. Friendships built on understanding rather than obligation. This episode explores why ADHD and autistic people can struggle with the many different forms of memory that underpin relationships. Freya and Hanna discuss how neurodivergent brains often aren't forgetting because people aren't important. They're forgetting because the brain is managing competing demands, sensory information, stress, overwhelm, executive functioning, and everyday survival. The conversation also explores why working memory can be particularly impacted for ADHD people, especially during periods of stress, burnout, overstimulation, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm. This episode challenges the idea that friendship should be measured by memory alone and explores how compassion, understanding, and practical supports can strengthen relationships far more effectively than shame. Because the truth is: Most neurodivergent people aren't forgetting because they don't care. They're forgetting while caring deeply. Connect with NeuroSpice & Life: Website: neurospiceandlife.com.au YouTube: @NeuroSpiceandLife Freya (Mumshine): mumshine.com.au Hanna (The Sensologist): mumshine.com.au Hanna (The Sensologist): thesensologist.com.au Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or mental-health advice. It is not a substitute for diagnosis, therapy, or professional care. Please seek support from a qualified healthcare or mental-health professional if needed.

Bad Friend or Different Love Language? (ADHD & Autism)

What if being called a bad friend wasn't about a lack of care — but often about a mismatch in how love, friendship, and connection are communicated? In this episode of NeuroSpice & Life – Bad Friend or Different Love Languages, late-diagnosed neurodivergent hosts Freya Corboy and Hanna Hosking unpack what happens when neurodivergent expressions of care are misunderstood through a neurotypical lens. For many ADHD and autistic adults, friendship isn't demonstrated in the ways society expects. We may forget birthdays, don’t like to be touched but want to do mundane tasks together, struggle to initiate contact, disappear into burnout, or miss social cues. Yet at the same time, we may spend hours researching solutions to help a friend, find a feather to give to them because it’s beautiful, send a meme that reminded us of them at 2am, share our own experiences to show empathy, or quietly accommodate their needs without ever mentioning it. The problem? Many neurodivergent people are speaking a different friendship language. This episode explores the concept of The Five Neurodivergent Love Languages and how they often differ from traditional neurotypical expectations of connection and care. Yet these expressions of care are often overlooked because they don't always resemble the socially accepted ways friendship is expected to look. The conversation also explores the invisible labour many neurodivergent people perform every day to bridge the communication gap. For many neurodivergent people, this adaptation becomes second nature. But how often is the effort returned? And a reminder that being misunderstood doesn't mean you're a bad friend. Sometimes it simply means you're speaking a different language. Connect with NeuroSpice & Life: Website: neurospiceandlife.com.au YouTube: @NeuroSpiceandLife Freya (Mumshine): mumshine.com.au Hanna (The Sensologist): thesensologist.com.au Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or mental-health advice. It is not a substitute for diagnosis, therapy, or professional care. Please seek support from a qualified healthcare or mental-health professional if needed.

Are you a bad friend or do you have ADHD time blindness?

What if being called a bad friend was never about not caring — but about having a brain that experiences time differently? I n this episode of NeuroSpice & Life – "Are you a bad friend or do you have ADHD time blindness", late-diagnosed neurodivergent hosts Freya Corboy and Hanna Hosking unpack the painful reality of how ADHD time blindness, executive dysfunction, and overwhelm can impact friendships and relationships. For many ADHD adults, friendship isn’t measured by constant contact or perfectly timed responses. But in a world built around neurotypical expectations of consistency, memory, punctuality, and regular communication, ADHD traits can easily be misinterpreted as carelessness, unreliable, selfishness, laziness, or being a “bad friend.” This episode explores why ADHD people often don’t perceive time in the same way as neurotypical people. How days become weeks. How “I’ll reply later” suddenly becomes three months. How someone can be deeply loved and valued… while accidentally disappearing into overwhelm, burnout, hyperfocus, or survival mode. Because many neurodivergent people carry deep internalised ableism around needing help: Why can’t I just do this myself? Why is this so hard for me when it seems easy for everyone else? This episode gently reframes support as accommodation, not failure. Freya and Hanna also discuss how ADHD friendships often work differently, because struggling with time doesn’t mean you struggle to care. Connect with NeuroSpice & Life: Website: neurospiceandlife.com.au YouTube: @NeuroSpiceandLife Freya (Mumshine): mumshine.com.au Hanna (The Sensologist): thesensologist.com.au Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or mental-health advice. It is not a substitute for diagnosis, therapy, or professional care. Please seek support from a qualified healthcare or mental-health professional if needed.

Why Saying Yes to Everything Is Burning You Out

What if impulsive decisions aren’t actually impulsive — but a nervous system trying to avoid discomfort, judgement, rejection, or shame? In this episode of NeuroSpice & Life late-diagnosed neurodivergent hosts Freya Corboy and Hanna Hosking unpack why so many ADHD and autistic adults say yes before they’ve even had time to think about whether they actually want to. For many neurodivergent people, impulsive decision-making isn’t always about thrill-seeking or recklessness. Sometimes it’s about survival. Avoiding conflict. Avoiding guilt. Avoiding the fear of being perceived as rude, selfish, difficult, unreliable, or disappointing. The mental and emotional load can be heavy on top of balancing other parts of our lives and it can mean we’re burning the candle at both ends. This episode explores the invisible emotional pressure behind impulsive yeses: * Agreeing to things immediately * Overcommitting and burning out * Making fast emotional decisions * Struggling to tolerate the discomfort of saying no * Saying yes in the moment… then regretting it later Freya and Hanna discuss how ADHD impulsivity, rejection sensitivity, people-pleasing, and nervous system responses can combine to create patterns of reactive decision-making — especially when we’ve spent years trying to manage how other people perceive us. Because sometimes the impulsive decision isn’t actually about what we want. It’s about what feels emotionally safest in the moment. Key themes & keywords: #adhd, #autism, #AuADHD, #neurodivergence, ADHD impulsivity, impulsive decisions, autism and overwhelm, people-pleasing, rejection sensitivity, boundaries, emotional regulation, neurodivergent burnout, saying no, self-trust, decision-making. Connect with NeuroSpice & Life: Website: neurospiceandlife.com.au YouTube: @NeuroSpiceandLife Freya (Mumshine): mumshine.com.au Hanna (The Sensologist): thesensologist.com.au Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or mental-health advice. It is not a substitute for diagnosis, therapy, or professional care. Please seek support from a qualified healthcare or mental-health professional if needed.

ADHD, Sex & the Dopamine Trap

The views expressed in this podcast are based on personal experience, general information only. This episode is intended for educational and storytelling purposes and does not constitute medical, psychological, or mental health advice. It is not a substitute for diagnosis, treatment, or professional care. Individual experiences with Neurodiversity, ADHD, Autism, hypersexuality, and related topics vary widely. Please seek support from a qualified healthcare or mental health professional if any of the content in this episode resonates with your personal circumstances. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please contact a crisis line or mental health service in your country. What if impulsivity in sex isn't about risk taking — but about a nervous system reaching for relief? In this episode of NeuroSpice & Life, late-diagnosed neurodivergent hosts Freya Corboy (alexithymic counsellor) and Hanna Hosking (sexologist & sensologist) have an honest, compassionate conversation about what happens when ADHD, dopamine-seeking, shame, low self-worth, and emotional dysregulation collide in our sexual and romantic lives. For many neurodivergent adults, impulsivity in this space isn't a character flaw or a moral failing. Research suggests that ADHD is associated with differences in how the brain processes reward and risk — with a tendency to overestimate the benefits of an action and underestimate its consequences. Add emotional dysregulation, a lifetime of criticism, and a nervous system that burns hot and fast, and the picture becomes a lot more complex — and a lot more human. This episode explores what hypersexuality can look like for neurodivergent people, why it so often has less to do with sex itself and more to do with the need for dopamine, stimulation, connection, or escape — and what it means to start making more conscious, self-honouring choices without shame. In this episode we explore: * What hypersexuality actually is, and what research tells us about its links to ADHD * Why dopamine-seeking can drive escalating risk-taking behaviour * The role of a lifetime of criticism, shame, and internalised self-blame in our sexual choices * Emotional dysregulation and the prefrontal cortex — why we act before we think * The difference between conscious sexual choices and fear-of-rejection-driven ones * General practical and compassionate strategies for self-regulation in the moment One thing we want you to hear: there is no shame in recognising these patterns in yourself. You are not broken. You are a complex human being with a brain that works differently — and understanding that is the beginning of something better. Neurodiverse people often have difficulties navigating consent and communication, expressing boundaries, and/or going into flight, fight, freeze and fawn. If this is something personal to you or someone you know, speaking with a therapist who specialises in neurodivergence and trauma can be really valuable.   Connect with NeuroSpice & Life: Website: neurospiceandlife.com.au YouTube: @NeuroSpiceandLife Freya (Mumshine): mumshine.com.au Hanna (The Sensologist): thesensologist.com.au