NOURISH U with Salema Veliu (private feed for salemayoga@icloud.com)

This week’s offering comes from a place of quiet personal transformation and reflection, taking form in a meditation with a supporting poem, that l hope will resonate, providing support and nurturance for you in times of change. Over the past three months, I’ve been navigating a profound shift — body, mind, and soul. Journeying through my Pilates training and spending reflective time with the HIVE cohort of wonderful women. What started as subtle changes in my physical practice has rippled into the deeper layers of thought, identity, and energy through our cohort meets. Meeting resistance, softness, truth, and release along the way and in the process understanding my motivation vs intention. This simple poem reflects essence of that journey — the unravelling, the remembering, the tenderness, power, quiet truths and the quiet resilience that comes to the surface when we move through change with presence and let the layers fall away. (円相) Ensō In the Zen teachings one word to ENCAPSULATE this essence would be Ensō which represents wholeness, the cycle of life, imperfection, and the beauty of the present moment symbolising the process of becoming, not perfection. It reflects the fluidity of transformation — just like my journey over the past three months. Often drawn in a single breathstroke, it embodies mindfulness and freedom. This week may these words offer you a gentle mirror for your own path. Whether you're in a season of growth, stillness, or searching — perhaps something here speaks to where you are, and reminds you that: You're not alone in the becoming. The Art of Moving with Purpose In a world that rushes, the art is not in how fast we move —but in how aware we are with each step.Whether lifting, reaching, walking, or still — every movement is an invitation.An invitation to return. To move with purpose is not to force.It is to listen.To notice the breath as it rises.To feel the feet as they root.To allow the spine to grow tall,not in effort, but in remembering its nature. Purpose is not intensity.Purpose is clarity.When we bring attention to motion,even the smallest gesture becomes meaningful.Reaching becomes intention.Rotation becomes freedom.Stillness becomes strength. Zen teaches: “When walking, just walk. When sitting, just sit.”In our practice, we might say:“When rolling down, feel the spine.”“When rising, honour the ground.”This is presence. This is movement with soul. So whether you're flowing through Pilates, still in meditation,or just standing in line —Move less to get somewhere.Move more to be somewhere.And that somewhere... is now. In a world that often feels like it’s always rushing ahead, lately I’ve been discovering there’s something deeply grounding about embracing both strength and serenity, through mindful movement. This isn’t just about exercising or working out—instead it’s about listening to your changing body, discovering its potential, and honouring it in a way that feels both nurturing and empowering. After having many and varied conversations of late this appears to be the realisation for many. As someone who’s worked in functional, creative movement and mental health for over two decades, I’ve come to realise that the practices of yoga and pilates combined can offer more than just flexibility or toning—they provide the foundation for functional movement, which translates into a body that moves well in daily life. That’s what I want to share with you today: how yoga, pilates, and functional movement have shaped my practice and how they can help you find balance, strength, and serenity in your own body. Finding Balance: Where Strength Meets Serenity Strength and serenity often feel like they live on opposite sides of the spectrum. One calls for power, endurance, and effort. The other asks for stillness, peace, and surrender. But over the years, I’ve found that true strength is born out of moments of serenity, and serenity becomes more profound when rooted in strength. Here’s how each practice contributes to that balance: Yoga: Building Calm from Within Yoga has been such a huge part of my life—it’s where I learned the art of stillness and breath. I’ve found that yoga doesn’t just open your body, it opens your mind and spirit as well. It allows you to be present with yourself, tuning into what your body truly needs. But yoga also challenges us. It asks us to hold poses that stretch and strengthen in ways that build both endurance and flexibility. It’s in those moments of holding a pose, when everything burns but you choose to stay, that you begin to understand how strength and serenity aren’t mutually exclusive—they’re intertwined. Yoga is where I first learned that functional movement isn’t just about looking a certain way; it’s about moving in a way that supports everyday life. Pilates: The Power of Precision Pilates introduced me to the importance of core strength and alignment. While yoga stretches and strengthens, Pilates brings a new level of control and precision to movement. The focus is on building strength from the center—your core—and improving the way you move through space. I love how Pilates works deeply with the smaller muscles in the body, bringing awareness to posture, breath, and alignment. The beauty of Pilates is that it’s not just about becoming “toned”—it’s about creating functional strength that supports every day. I’ve seen first hand how Pilates helps to create a lean, strong, and flexible body—but most importantly, it’s about training your body to function better in every moment, whether it’s sitting at your desk, lifting a bag of shopping, or simply walking. Functional Movement: The Art of Moving With Purpose This is where yoga and Pilates meet something truly magical—functional movement. In my own practice, I’ve found that understanding how to move efficiently, with control, and with intention has transformed my body in ways I didn’t expect. It’s not just about looking good or pushing through an intense workout—it’s about feeling aligned and empowered in every movement you make and taking into account recovery times. When we move functionally, we engage muscles in ways that make daily tasks easier, healthier, and more sustainable. It’s the little things—how you stand, sit, or bend—that make a huge difference. These practices give us the awareness to move with more purpose, more ease, and more control, which is key for longevity and a pain-free life. The Practices: Integrating It All - The Dance of the Soul For me, Practice is where all these elements come together. It’s not about doing everything perfectly, but rather giving yourself the space to explore, reflect, and integrate what you’ve learned. Practice is the perfect way to take the principles from yoga and Pilates and bring them into real life, whether it’s through a series of intentional movements or simple mindful practices. Why I’m Passionate About Sharing This This is what I want for you—whether you’re someone who’s just starting out or a seasoned practitioner, I want to help you connect to your body, build a strong foundation, and cultivate serenity in a way that feels nourishing. That is why l will be offering personalised 1-to-1 sessions from mid JUNE 25 to guide you through a practice that is tailored to your goals—whether you’re looking to build more strength, increase flexibility, or simply move more functionally in daily life. The beauty of a bespoke practice is that it involves evolves with you, meeting you where you are and helping you move forward. Let’s create something together that works for your body, your life, and your unique journey. If you’re ready to embrace a balanced practice where strength meets serenity, I’d love to work with you. Let’s explore yoga, Pilates, and functional movement in a way that feels intentional, empowering, and, most importantly, personal. NOURISH U - Where Strength Meets SerenityBespoke 1-to-1 Pilates & Yogalates Elevate Your Wellness with Bespoke 1-to-1 Pilates & Yogalates Experience a movement journey that is as unique as you. In today’s fast-paced world, your body deserves more than a one-size-fits-all approach. My private 1-to-1 Pilates and Yogalates sessions blend the flow of yoga with the precision of Pilates—enhanced with props like weights and resistance bands to create a more refined, mindful, yet strong conditioning experience. This tailored approach allows you to engage in a practice that is both nurturing and challenging, ensuring your body moves in the safest and most functional way. What to Expect * A personalised program designed for your body, goals & lifestyle. * Hands-on guidance with expert attention in every session when in a physical space/studio/home. * Verbal safety adjustment cueing when practising on online. * Use of props such as weights and resistance bands to deepen strength, mobility, and control. * Providing nurturance in a safe, functional, but creative way. * A harmonious balance of mindful movement and powerful conditioning. * Visible results in posture, muscle tone, and flexibility—Pilates sculpts the body, creating a lean, strong, and balanced appearance that radiates from the inside out. Ideal for: • Anyone that wants to delve a bit deeper and slower into functional anatomy to help with their range of movement, injuries.• Anyone wanting to sculpt, tone, and improve overall wellness through mindful movement Sessions Available: 📍 In the comfort of your home, Private studio sessions or online. 🕰 Flexible, discreet scheduling for your convenience This is not just exercise—it’s a refined movement experience designed for lasting strength, elegance, and beauty. Spaces are limited to ensure exclusivity and focus.Enquire now for a consultation and begin your journey to a stronger, more balanced you. 📩 salemayoga@icloud.com and via dropping me a message through this platform. 📷 https://linktr.ee/salemaveliu READY TO GO? This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thank you for subscribing. 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Practice You Deck Cards by Elena Brower There comes a time in every season of life when we are called to return to ourselves for strength. To pause. To notice the subtle disturbances of change emerging beneath the surface and meet them—not with resistance, but with curiosity, strength and grace. In this week's reflection, I invite you to explore how the Zen-informed lens of simplicity, presence, and compassionate awareness can help you return to your centre stronger, softer, and more connected with the most practical practice/s of Zen to help in times of unease. Over the past few weeks, as I’ve been preparing for my assessment and opening space to welcome new collaborations in my teaching, I’ve felt the stirrings of change—offering me new ways of working that feel more aligned with who I’ve become. At the same time, it hasn’t all been smooth sailing. Behind the scenes, I’ve been navigating some deep challenges. Living alongside someone diagnosed with severe depression is a quiet and constant weight. It takes strength to stay grounded—for myself, and for my partner. Some days, maintaining a hopeful outlook feels like balancing on a tightrope, one breath, one moment at a time, with my mojo nowhere to be seen. Yet in these moments, I’m reminded why my practices matter. They keep me anchored. They help me stay open, connected, and honest about what I need—and what I can offer—without losing myself in the process, this being the purity of human nature. PRACTICES Over the last couple of weeks l’ve not being able to join in with my HIVE cohort collective. However, Elena always one to follow up, dropped me a couple of short emails, making her support and nourishing presence felt. One of these was details about our next meet and some preparation for exploration for our session. Weirdly, it was about revisiting/creating/placing a vision of the future on our altars; tiny, concrete items. Honouring the past and the future, while keeping present in the present to keep our visions and project(s) alive and visible. I have many of these varied small altars around my home, where l go for refuge, strength and inspiration. Today as l was revisiting them, l felt the unease slowly ebbing away. On Unease & Returning to Balance: Mentally and Physically My partner often uses the word unease to describe how he thinks he’s feeling. But is unease just another word for being with NOT KNOWING? Unease is a natural part of living—especially in uncertain times. From a Zen lens, it’s not something to resist but to gently witness. Unease invites us inward, back to breath, back to presence. We don’t overcome it by force but by softening into what is. Manifesting from a Physical perspective From a Pilates and Pilates Reformer perspective: On the mat and/or on a Reformer, two Pilates practices that can support this return are Footwork exercises to ground and recalibrate through the feet and legs, and Spine Stretch Forward to lengthen the spine, create space, and release held tension. When paired with conscious breath, these movements become meditations in motion—restoring your centre with strength and grace. Mindful Communication: Speaking from Stillness In moments of unease, our internal landscape can often feel noisy and/or heavy. Practising mindful communication can help us listen more deeply—first to ourselves, then to others. Inviting us to pause before speaking, to check in with our body, breath, and emotional tone, so we become less reactivate, which is a lot harder than it seems. I have been learning this highly important skill under the teachings and guidance of my mentor, thank you Elena Brower [https://substack.com/profile/6699041-elena-brower] so much for reminding me, that less is more and that practice is where Zen truly resides. Zen teaches us that silence is not empty. It is full of possibility. When we communicate from stillness, we become less reactive and more rooted in truth. We begin to use words that honour both our experience and the space between us and others. This kind of presence fosters connection—not through performance but through authenticity. Especially when supporting someone living with depression, this type of mindful listening becomes an anchor. We hold space not to fix, but to witness—to offer our calm presence as a mirror of steadiness in the storm. In relationships, this quiet attentiveness can soften defensiveness and create space for honest expression. It fosters a climate where partners feel safe to be vulnerable without fear of judgement or urgency to solve. Honest Boundaries: Showing up with compassion without abandoning ourselves Change often illuminates how much we’ve been carrying—emotionally, mentally, and physically. Saying no can be an act of profound self-respect. Zen invites us to return to the simplicity of knowing what is true in the moment. Not everything that calls for our energy deserves it. Honest boundaries don’t push people away; they create the conditions for sustainable closeness. When we honour our limits, we honour our energy, our needs, and our evolving identities. When living with or caring for someone navigating depression, clear and loving boundaries are essential. They allow us to show up with compassion without abandoning ourselves. In relationships, mutual respect for boundaries creates a shared sense of security—a trust that each partner can care for their own energy while staying connected. Emotional Availability: The Grace of Staying Open It’s tempting to withdraw when things get difficult and emotions become like a roller coaster. But true strength lies in staying present with what is—without needing to fix or flee. Emotional availability is the capacity to be with discomfort, both ours and others’, while remaining grounded. From a Zen perspective, emotions are not enemies—they are teachers. They come and go like weather, and our job is to breathe, observe, and let them pass. This spacious approach helps us stay connected in our relationships, even during challenging times. Supporting a loved one with depression asks us to meet their pain with a quiet steadiness, not by absorbing it, but by offering our stable presence—our willingness to sit with them in the shadows while rooted in our own light. In intimate partnerships, emotional availability builds a bridge between two inner worlds. It allows space for truth, even when it’s messy or uncertain, and creates fertile ground for deepened connection. Finding Your Mojo: A Zen Perspective When life feels flat or uncertain, what we often call "losing our mojo" is really a disconnection from our deeper rhythm. In Zen, this is an invitation—not a failure. Mojo isn't something we chase. It arises naturally when we return to presence and simplicity, through practices that ignite us. Zen teaches us that energy and inspiration flow best when we are not forcing. Your mojo is in your breath, your body, and the moments you slow down enough to feel. 3 ZEN PROMPTS to start the enquiry of re-cultivating your mojo: * What brings me alive in this moment? * What am I resisting? * What am I longing for? These questions when asked in stillness, help you reawaken your natural vitality—quietly, respectfully, from the inside out. A Mudra for Strength & Grace: Vajrapradama Mudra (Mudra of Unshakable Trust) This is the mudra of unshakable trust. Interlace your fingers at the heart centre, leaving the thumbs extended and touching. Rest this gesture at your chest, close your eyes, and breathe deeply. Use it when you need to reclaim your steadiness and inner power. Vajra means “diamond” or “thunderbolt,” symbolising clarity and indestructibility. Pradama relates to offering or confidence. Together, Vajrapradama Mudra translates to “Mudra of Unshakable Trust.” Affirmation: "I trust in my strength. I return to grace." Zen Sitting Practice: Returning to Yourself in Times of Unease Find a quiet space and take a comfortable seated position. Sit on a cushion or chair, allowing the spine to be long but not rigid. Bring your hands into Vajrapradama Mudra or rest them gently in your lap. Let your eyes soften or close. Begin by simply noticing your breath. Allow the inhale to expand you, and the exhale to ground you. When thoughts arise, acknowledge them gently and return to the breath. Use this practice to anchor yourself in the now. Just five to ten minutes a day can cultivate the strength and grace you seek—not from outside, but from your own centred presence. In households affected by depression or emotional overwhelm, this daily ritual becomes a way to clear your own energy, reset compassion fatigue, and reconnect with your inner resources. For couples or partners, consider sitting together in silent support. No talking. Just breathing, side by side. This shared stillness becomes a silent vow—to be with each other in presence, not performance. Zen Relationship Practice: The Circle of Presence Sit across from your partner or loved one. Each of you places an object or candle in the centre to symbolise your shared intention. Set a timer for five minutes. In silence, gaze softly at one another—not staring, but witnessing. Stay relaxed and breathe naturally. If emotions arise, let them flow. If laughter or tears come, honour them. When the timer ends, bow gently to each other. This circle of presence cultivates intimacy without words, reminding you both that presence is the most sacred gift we can offer. Returning to Centre To return to strength, balance, and grace is to come back to the truth of who we are: cyclical, sensitive, resilient, wise. Through mindful communication, honest boundaries, and emotional availability, we can strengthen not just our relationships with others, but also the relationship with ourselves. This is the art of living well. This is the nourishment that lasts. With a bowed heart and steady breath, in quiet service to your return. S This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free subscriber. Thank you for subscribing. 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this weeks invitation and enquiry * confidence VS bravado the difference * embody confidence through Zen, brain, and muscle * journaling prompts to meet challenge and cultivate confidence honestly * a Zen Practice: “Returning to Centre” A Confidence 5 Step Cultivation Sit Let’s start this weeks podcast and post with the main enquiry ‘How do you wear confidence?’ I’ve been thinking and asking myself this question a lot lately, as l think our perception of confidence changes with age. As over the past few weeks, l’ve come to realise that Confidence isn’t quite what l thought it was. It’s not about trying to be the best or shout from the roof tops, have the perfect post and/or body and face. But instead for me it is about welcoming in an type of soft anchoring. Coming from a quiet, rooted place of knowing that’s less about being “better” and more about feeling connected—to my breath, my strength, my purpose. A reflection from the Japanese concept of “gambaru” which loosely means “to do one’s best with quiet determination.” No drama. No ego. Just presence in effort. Confidence is not something that we’re born with, it’s something we rebuild, reshape, and re-embody through our various life experiences. Something l’ve personally experienced over past five years with changes in health, loss, and uncertainty. As we delve deeper into the element of Confidence from both a scientific and Zen perspective, we begin to realise that challenge isn’t something to avoid—but it’s the very terrain where confidence is forged. Losing confidence during the second half of the pandemic. Not all at once—but slowly. It slipped away through the cracks of long quiet spells, and the weight of uncertainty. Teaching, creating, even trusting my body—it all felt far away until recently, when I took the conscious choice to step back in once again. To retrain, to move differently, to begin again with fresh eyes and an open heart. Yoga, Pilates, Zen, and the deep anatomy work I’ve studied and continue to study have become my home base, my anchor. Challenging myself mentally and physically through retraining in a new discipline has reignited something I hadn’t felt in a while. That spark. That sense of direction and it feels great, even through l don’t quite know where it will take me? But the version of me who loved teaching, creating, and running her own thing is remerging not quite in the same form, but with more depth, more softness, more strength. Pilates, structure, Zen, movement—it's all helping me remember who I am. Sometimes rebuilding confidence looks like learning something new… and realising you’re not starting over but returning home. But what does confidence look like in our brains? Well our brains are designed to adapt. Neuroplasticity after all is the brain’s ability to rewire itself based on experience. When we face a challenge whether physical, emotional, or mental, our nervous system is activated. If we meet that challenge with conscious effort, focused attention, and rest afterward, the brain begins to encode that experience as resilience. Confidence then isn’t just a feeling but a chemical process. It’s biology in motion, a dance between belief and the body, shaped not only by past experiences but by what we choose to do with the present moment. At the heart of it? Your brain’s reward system. The brain’s reward circuitry, primarily involving the dopaminergic system, plays a central role in motivation, learning, and yes confidence. When you face a challenge and follow through, especially something just outside your comfort zone, your brain releases dopamine a feel-good neurotransmitter that reinforces the behaviour. Each time you complete something difficult, the brain registers it as a “win.” Even small victories like mastering a new Pilates move, holding a posture longer, or showing up for your practice when you didn’t want to light up the mesolimbic pathway, telling your brain: That felt good. Let’s do that again. Over time, these micro-rewards begin to reshape your internal narrative.Not just I can do hard things, but I want to keep growing. Interestingly, this echoes what the brain craves:Consistent, meaningful effort → reward → reinforcement. The result? A felt sense of confidence that’s less about being “better” and more about feeling connected—to your breath, your strength, your purpose. Embodied Confidence: Why Movement Matters Physical movement especially structured, mindful movement like pilates or yoga is particularly effective at activating this system. But why? Well because it pairs mental challenge (focus, coordination, breath control) with physical effort (strength, endurance, precision). This integrated experience creates a potent feedback loop between mind, muscle, and mood. When you rise to meet a challenge physically, the brain responds as if you’ve done something meaningful (because you have). This not only boosts dopamine but also builds trust between you and your body, between you and your capacity. This is especially relevant in any movement we undertake. Challenging the body with mindful stress like strength work, Pilates, or complex motor patterns helps reorganise not just muscle but also our sense of self. With each small success, the body sends a feedback loop to the brain: You did that. Confidence begins to rebuild from the ground up. The Zen Colour of Confidence In the Zen tradition, colour is approached with intentional simplicity—each hue chosen not for decoration, but for its energetic essence and meditative effect. Historically, Zen temples favoured natural tones: earthy browns, soft greys, indigo blues, and muted whites, reflecting the impermanence and humility central to Zen. These colours calm the nervous system, support stillness, and mirror the subtlety of the natural world. In colour psychology, these tones encourage introspection, stability, and grounded awareness—qualities deeply aligned with the Zen ideal of wabi-sabi, the quiet beauty found in imperfection and transience. Shades of blue generally supports trust, darker blues especially promote confidence from a colour psychology perspective. Zen: Effort Without Clinging In Zen, we are taught to meet the moment as it is without attachment to outcomes. This doesn’t mean we don’t try, but rather that we engage fully and release the need for control. Dōgen Zenji wrote, “To study the self is to forget the self.” When we approach challenge from a Zen lens, it becomes less about winning and more about witnessing. What am I learning here?How can I move with what’s arising instead of fighting it? This presence-oriented approach softens the ego’s grip and allows us to move through difficult terrain with more grace. Confidence, then, isn’t about feeling bulletproof it’s about staying connected, moment by moment, no matter what’s unfolding. From a Zen perspective, confidence doesn’t come from external validation—it’s a quiet, rooted knowing. In Japanese, the concept of “gambaru” loosely means “to do one’s best with quiet determination.” No drama. No ego. Just presence in effort. The Integration and Practical Application of When science meets stillness, and movement meets mindfulness, confidence becomes a practice rather than a fixed state. It’s rebuilt through the body through breath, through effort, through pause. Through showing up again and again, even when unsure. It’s in the shaking legs during a Pilates hold.The quiet mind after a meditation sit.The decision to begin again, even when it’s hard. Confidence doesn’t always roar. Sometimes, it’s just a whisper: Keep going. You’re doing it. Journaling Prompt: Meeting Challenge Honestly Carve out 10 minutes, and reflect with honesty and compassion: Find a quiet space and take a few deep breaths. With pen and paper, explore the following: * Where in my life do I feel unsure or disconnected from my inner strength? * What small challenge am I currently facing that I could meet with more presence? * What part of me already knows how to begin again? Let the pen be your mirror. * Where in my life am I meeting resistance or self-doubt right now? * What would it look like to meet this challenge with curiosity, rather than fear? * Can I recall a time I did something hard and came through stronger? What did I learn? Let the words flow. No need to fix—just observe. Zen Practice: “Returning to Centre” — A Confidence a 5 Step Cultivation Sit Duration: 10–15 minutes | Best done seated in stillness 1. Settle the Body Sit comfortably on a cushion or chair.Spine upright, shoulders relaxed.Let your hands rest softly in your lap or on your thighs.Gently close your eyes or lower your gaze. Take 5 slow breaths. Feel yourself arrive. 2. Anchor the Mind with Breath + Mantra Inhale: I am hereExhale: I am ready Repeat this silently for 3–5 minutes, letting the rhythm of breath and mantra begin to stabilise the mind. Feel the inhale gather presence, the exhale soften resistance. 3. Gathā for Confidence Now, introduce this short Zen gathā (a poetic verse) to work with in your sit: With each breath, I return to my true ground. Nothing to prove. Only to be. Repeat this softly within, letting the words settle into your body. You might sync them with your breath, or let them drift in and out like waves. 4. Inquiry in Stillness (Optional for last 2–3 minutes) As you sit in silence, ask yourself gently: * Where in my life do I feel disconnected from my confidence? * What part of me already knows how to begin again? Don’t force answers—just let the questions echo. Confidence in Zen isn’t bravado—it’s the quiet clarity of knowing you’re already enough. 5. Close with a Mudra Bring one hand to the heart, the other to the belly. Bow your chin slightly. Whisper to yourself:“I trust in the return.” The Takeaway Confidence isn’t a fixed trait. It’s a process your brain and body want you to lean into. Each time we allow ourselves to be challenged and follow through, we’re not just pushing limits we’re rewiring our sense of self. So whether it’s through mindful movement, deep rest, or showing up for that small promise you made to yourself today—know this: Your reward system is watching. And it loves a comeback. Confidence is not a pose we strike—it’s a process of remembering. Through breath, movement, and self-inquiry, we rebuild it, piece by piece, with presence and compassion. Thanks for reading! This post is public so feel free to share it. This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment [https://salemaveliu.substack.com/p/wearing-the-quiet-colour-of-confidence/comments?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_5] or share this episode [https://salemaveliu.substack.com/p/wearing-the-quiet-colour-of-confidence?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=podcast&utm_content=share&action=share&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjoyMTYzMjU1MSwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTYxNDE1NDE1LCJpYXQiOjE3NDgwMDUzMjksImV4cCI6MTc1MDU5NzMyOSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTIyNDM3NjgiLCJzdWIiOiJwb3N0LXJlYWN0aW9uIn0.Gg83jqw3TIJBx5GH-Lk2fO6uUOgGl8USEQdANxWCRGo&utm_campaign=CTA_5].

This week l offer you * The deeper meaning and connection of grace through the lenses of Zen & Pilates * How alignment, breath & presence can support us well through midlife shifts * 4 super simple yet powerful embodied practices that anyone can do and which will support you: * Zen sitting for presence & emotional grounding * Pilates standing flow for balance & fluid strength * Lateral thoracic breathing to support your centre cultivating strength and calmness * Seated spirals for elegant, integrated movement “Grace isn’t just how we hold ourselves and move through space, it’s about how we meet life.” -Salema Lately, as I’ve been deepening my Pilates training and connecting with my inspiring cohort inside Hive guided by our fearless leader, Elena Brower - the themes of grace and self-care have been coming up again and again. These conversations have stirred something in me, and as a result I felt called to explore them more fully. That’s how this podcast was born. As we navigate the transitions of midlife and beyond, it’s easy to feel like we’re somehow falling short mentally, physically, emotionally, even sexually. Hormonal shifts can leave us feeling out of sync with ourselves, and suddenly the way we feel on the inside no longer matches what we see on the outside. Frustration, impatience, anger, denial… they creep in. Acceptance and grace? Sometimes they feel far, far away. If this resonates, you’re not alone and this conversation is for you. Grace is not a surface expression. It is not about getting everything right or making it look effortless. True grace is a quality of presence of moving through life, especially through seasons of any change, with softness and strength in equal measure. The Posture of Grace In both Zen and Pilates, the posture we hold is a mirror of our inner state. Grace is not about performing or pleasing, but about cultivating presence, receptivity, and integrity in the way we move, sit, speak, and live. It is strength softened with compassion, structure infused with breath, and movement anchored in awareness. Cultivated through discipline, stillness, breath, and embodied awareness. Whether you're seated in meditation or flowing through a sequence on the mat, grace is the quiet power that emerges when effort meets ease, when precision meets patience, and when your inner landscape aligns with your outer form. Zen & Pilates: Stillness and Flow In Zen, the posture is part of the practice. The upright spine in zazen (seated meditation) is more than physical, it reflects the mind's capacity for presence. The invitation is to sit like a mountain: steady, grounded, aware. Grace, in this sense, comes from dropping into your natural state - unforced, undistracted, completely here. Grace is in allowing the breath to rise and fall without clinging. It is found in silence, in how we bow, in how we walk slowly and attentively through a moment. Pilates, too, asks for awareness and integration. Every movement begins from the "powerhouse"—the core—radiating out with control, balance, and breath. “It is the mind itself which builds the body.” -Joseph Pilates This is where the two systems meet: in their reverence for attention. Both Zen and Pilates train you to inhabit your body with awareness, to notice the subtle, and to move with intention. In Pilates, posture is physical precision - aligning the spine, engaging the powerhouse, and allowing the body to move efficiently and intelligently. Grace arises when control flows effortlessly into movement. As Joseph Pilates said, “Physical fitness is the first requisite of happiness.” And happiness, when felt in the body, looks and feels like grace. Midlife and menopause can feel anything but graceful at times. Hormonal shifts, emotional waves, changes in posture, sleep, digestion, and confidence. But this is also an incredible opportunity to return to the body, to re-align, to soften and strengthen anew. Practicing the "posture of grace" doesn’t mean striving to be perfect. It means showing up with kindness, steadiness, and curiosity again and again. When we combine the wisdom of both, grace becomes a state of embodied mindfulness, a still point within the changing rhythms of life. And in midlife or menopause, when the body and identity shift, returning to the posture of grace can be deeply empowering. This week l offer four embodied practices to support you: Zen Sitting Practice: Rooted Presence1. Sit in stillness with an upright spine, either on a cushion or chair. Let your hands rest naturally, eyes softly closed or lowered.2. Inhale gently through your nose, feel your ribs expand outward. Exhale slowly through the mouth, softening the shoulders and jaw.3. Repeat silently: “I am grounded. I am open. I meet life with grace.”Just five minutes a day builds a deep inner posture of presence and compassion. Pilates Lateral Thoracic Breathing Practice: Cultivating Inner Space While in some mindfulness and yoga practices we sometimes breathe in and out of the stomach, in pilates the stomach muscles become home base to all the exercises we do which support the spine. It is for this reason that we have to move the breath up into the side flanks of the body the ribs, enabling us to work the ‘powerhouse’ effectively. 1. Standing or seated, place your hands on either side of your ribcage.2. Inhale deeply through the nose laterally—feel the ribs expand into your palms breathing out to your circumference. 3. Exhale slowly through the mouth and feel the ribs gently draw back into centre. Do 5–8 rounds. This breath technique supports core engagement, calms the nervous system, and invites spaciousness within the body. Pilates Seated Arm Spirals with Core Connection: Integration & Elegance1. Sit upright, cross-legged or on a chair. Engage your centre gently, navel to spine.2. Inhale to spiral your right arm up and out to the side, following the arm with your gaze. Exhale to return to centre.3. Alternate sides. Move slowly, allowing your breath to shape the motion. This practice strengthens shoulder mobility, spinal rotation, and coordination with grace. Pilates Standing Practice: Align and Flow1. Stand in neutral alignment: feet hip-width apart, knees soft, pelvis balanced, spine tall.2. Inhale, lift your arms overhead. Exhale, lower them out to the side with control. Repeat slowly 3–5 times, letting breath guide the rhythm.4. Then add a side bend, flowing from one side to the other with grace and control. Focus on staying connected to your centre. Grace in Practice, Grace in Life Whether you're experiencing menopause, grief, transformation, or simply the everyday pressures of modern life, these practices offer a chance to return to yourself. To reconnect with your core, your breath, your posture - not to be perfect, but to feel whole and supported. Both Zen and Pilates remind us that how we move is how we live. Grace is not something we perform. It is something we remember—through the breath, the spine, the stillness between moments. From this place, we not only move better, we relate better, lead better, and age with wisdom and vitality. Let your practice be a prayer of poise.Let your posture reflect your peace.Let grace become your ground. This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment [https://salemaveliu.substack.com/p/lets-reclaim-grace-together-a-zen/comments?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_5] or share this episode [https://salemaveliu.substack.com/p/lets-reclaim-grace-together-a-zen?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=podcast&utm_content=share&action=share&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjoyMTYzMjU1MSwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTYwNzY2MDk2LCJpYXQiOjE3NDgwMDUzMjksImV4cCI6MTc1MDU5NzMyOSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTIyNDM3NjgiLCJzdWIiOiJwb3N0LXJlYWN0aW9uIn0.piZyC_muYifwAgWDZGCIGnTlnI-VFQ7nLPoyveYzpms&utm_campaign=CTA_5].

This week your invitation to nourishment * a reflection on how to strengthen connection and ease in your relationships during Menopause * 3 simple and effective Zen practices and affirmations for patience, grace and communication * the science and zen of deep listening * explore the posture of grace * a zen circle a guided partner practice Building upon one of my popular recent posts (below) this weeks offering for nourishment expands the essence of how to bring a deeper level of care to ourselves and our closest relationships at a time of change. Support in Transition A Sunday walk in nature by the water with my partner yesterday sparked a pathway of inspiration and enquiry. Sensing that the type of conversation we were having throughout was somehow different to the conversations we have at home. Often influenced by background distractions such as tv, phones and emails. However, in nature without those familiar distractions there seemed to be more of a natural flow so our conversation, with no specific beginning or point. A effortless flow reflecting the essence of the meandering river, which we were walking alongside. During this journey, deep listening emerged and responses were graceful and supportive once in the flow. A much welcomed antidote to the sometimes frustration of not feeling/being like our old selves with unfamiliar responses and reactions during this biological shift. A profound transition that touches our emotions, relationships, and sense of self. Taking a leaf from a Zen perspective, this stage of life is an opportunity to slow down, listen deeply, and embrace change with openness, which is definitely how l would describe my Sunday experience. Referring to and living practically with some of the Zen teachings as well as being with nature on a regular basis, for me has been particular helpful during Menopause. Why?, well simply put they can remind us that impermanence (anicca) is the natural flow of life—our bodies, thoughts, and emotions are always shifting. Fighting change only creates suffering. But when we meet menopause with patience, grace, and real communication, it transforms from a struggle into a path of wisdom and connection. The Art of Stillness & Softening Patience with yourself and others during this time becomes paramount in terms of how you take care of yourself and how you communicate your needs. Acceptance in why you are in any moment without comparison helps, it’s about being fully here, right now. Science shows us that menopause-related hormonal shifts can make us more reactive, more anxious, affecting mood, energy, and focus. Neuroscientists have found that certain mindfulness/ noticing practices can help because they strengthen the prefrontal cortex, helping regulate emotions and reduce stress responses. Patience is often misunderstood as simply waiting, but in Zen, patience is a state of deep presence and surrender. It’s about meeting each moment as it is, without resistance or urgency. During menopause, as emotions fluctuate and energy shifts, patience becomes both a challenge and a vital skill in maintaining inner balance and connection with others. 1. Zen Practice for Patience: The Art of Stillness & Softening Step 1: Grounding into the Present Moment * Find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed. * Sit comfortably—either cross-legged on a cushion or with feet grounded on the floor. * Close your eyes or soften your gaze, allowing your breath to settle into its natural rhythm. Step 2: The Breath of Patience * Place one hand on your belly and the other on your heart. * Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four, feeling your belly expand. * Hold the breath for a count of four, noticing the pause. * Exhale gently through your mouth for a count of six, feeling tension leave your body. * Repeat for five rounds, allowing each breath to lengthen and soften naturally. Why this works: Slow, intentional breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, shifting the body from stress to calm, reducing reactivity and impatience. Step 3: Observing Without Reacting * As you sit, bring to mind a recent moment where you felt frustrated, rushed, or reactive. * Without judgment, observe the emotions that arise—tightness, heat, restlessness. * Rather than pushing them away, imagine them as clouds drifting across the sky—temporary and ever-changing. Zen Insight: Just like the sky remains vast and untouched by passing clouds, your inner awareness remains steady even as emotions move through you. Step 4: The Mantra of Softening * Silently repeat: "Softening, allowing, flowing." * With each inhale, soften the edges of frustration. * With each exhale, allow the moment to be as it is. * With the next breath, flow into acceptance. Continue this for 5 minutes, feeling patience grow as you surrender to the present moment. Step 5: Bringing Patience into Daily Life * Next time you feel irritation rising, pause and take one deep breath before reacting. * Silently say: "I allow this moment to be as it is." * If speaking, slow your words, allowing space between sentences. * If listening, fully absorb the other person’s words before responding. Final Thought:Patience isn’t about suppressing frustration—it’s about creating space between stimulus and response. Through breath, presence, and softening, we cultivate grace under pressure, allowing menopause—and life—to unfold with greater ease. Grace: Moving Through Change with Ease Grace isn’t about perfection—it’s about flow. Zen teaches us to be like water, adapting to change rather than resisting it. Yet, it’s easy to feel frustrated when brain fog, fatigue, or shifting emotions interfere with daily life. Research on self-compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff shows that being kind to ourselves reduces stress and fosters resilience. When we let go of the expectation to be who we were, we make space for who we are becoming. In Zen, grace is not about effort—it’s about surrendering to the natural rhythm of life. Grace is fluidity in the face of challenge, the ability to move with change rather than against it. During menopause, when emotions, energy, and identity shift, grace becomes a powerful practice—one that allows us to soften into transformation rather than resist it. 2. Zen Practice for Grace: Moving Through Change with Ease Step 1: The Posture of Grace * Find a comfortable seated position—on a cushion, chair, or even lying down. * Imagine a mountain—solid, steady, yet effortlessly meeting the changing winds and seasons. * Gently lift your spine as if being drawn upward, while keeping your shoulders relaxed and soft. * Close your eyes or lower your gaze. Why this works: A grounded yet open posture signals the nervous system to shift from tension to ease, allowing grace to become embodied. Step 2: The Breath of Surrender * Inhale deeply through your nose, allowing your belly to expand. * As you exhale through your mouth, whisper the word “surrender.” * With each breath, feel tension melting from your jaw, shoulders, and heart space. * Repeat for five slow breaths, letting go of the need to control or force. Zen Insight: Grace is found in releasing resistance. The breath teaches us how to let go without force, just as a river shapes stone over time—not through struggle, but through flow. Step 3: The Practice of Non-Grasping * Bring to mind a current challenge—maybe it’s fatigue, brain fog, shifting emotions, or uncertainty in relationships. * Instead of resisting or fixing, simply observe. * Ask yourself: Can I meet this moment without clinging or pushing it away? * Imagine holding a delicate feather in your hand—neither gripping it nor letting it fall, just allowing it to rest. * Apply this same energy to your thoughts, emotions, and body—neither forcing nor suppressing, but simply being with what is. Why this works: In Zen, this is the practice of non-attachment—the key to moving with life’s changes, rather than feeling trapped by them. Step 4: The Mantra of Grace * Silently repeat: "I move with ease. I meet change with grace." * With each inhale, imagine softness and acceptance filling your body. * With each exhale, release the need to be who you were yesterday. * Let this mantra become a rhythm—one that extends beyond this practice into daily life. Step 5: Bringing Grace into Relationships & Menopause * Next time frustration or discomfort arises, pause before reacting. * Ask yourself: Am I resisting this moment, or can I allow it to unfold? * When emotions feel overwhelming, place a gentle hand over your heart as a gesture of self-compassion and quietly say to yourself ‘How human of me to feel this way’. * Speak and move more slowly—grace is found in the space between words and actions. Final Thought:Grace is not perfection. It is the art of flowing with what is, trusting that every change is part of a greater unfolding. Through breath, presence, and non-resistance, we cultivate grace in the body, mind, and heart—moving through menopause and life with effortless ease. A Zen Affirmation Practice for Grace: When frustration arises, repeat:"Soften, allow, flow."Let the words settle in your body like ripples in water. Communication: 3. The Zen And Science of Deep Listening Menopause can challenge communication—word recall slows, emotions intensify, and frustration builds. But in Zen, communication isn’t just about speaking—it’s about listening with presence. Science backs this up: Active listening triggers oxytocin, the bonding hormone, strengthening connection and easing tension. Zen Practice for Communication: Next time your partner speaks, ask yourself:"Am I listening to understand, or just to reply?"Pause. Breathe. Respond from a place of presence, not reaction. 4. The Zen Circle: A Guided Partner Practice This simple practice helps you and your partner reconnect, using the Zen principle of the ensō (circle)—a symbol of wholeness and presence. How to Do It: Step 1: Set the Space – Sit comfortably, facing each other. Light a candle or simply take a few deep breaths together. Step 2: Draw a Circle – On a piece of paper, take turns drawing a Zen circle. This represents your journey—imperfect yet whole, ever-changing yet complete. Step 3: Speak & Listen with Presence – Each person completes these three sentences: * “Right now, I feel…” * “What I need most is…” * “One thing I appreciate about you is…” While one speaks, the other listens without interrupting or planning a response. Just hold space for the words to land. Step 4: Close with Gratitude – Thank each other. Fold the paper and keep it somewhere visible as a reminder that you are walking this path together. Final Thought: Flow, Don’t Fight Menopause, like all of life, is a wave rising and falling. Through patience, grace, and real conversation, we ride the wave rather than resist it. This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment [https://salemaveliu.substack.com/p/saving-grace-a-zen-approach-to-strengthening/comments?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_5] or share this episode [https://salemaveliu.substack.com/p/saving-grace-a-zen-approach-to-strengthening?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=podcast&utm_content=share&action=share&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjoyMTYzMjU1MSwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTYwMTc1MDcwLCJpYXQiOjE3NDgwMDUzMjksImV4cCI6MTc1MDU5NzMyOSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTIyNDM3NjgiLCJzdWIiOiJwb3N0LXJlYWN0aW9uIn0.xbqVP3Mki15I1PQzfK4CXMOsowG_zbcW2HCQgd3W-d8&utm_campaign=CTA_5].