Out of Neutral | Grace Baptist Church

[https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56b23a868a65e24fb5da70bb/a79a3a6a-d24a-467c-9969-a84964588c6c/OON+2025+06+25.jpg?format=1000w] Many people think that it’s the leader who makes or breaks a small group. But a great small group is usually the result of one or two group members who make the difference. The Bible’s one another commands lay out practical steps that can help you turn your group into the community it’s designed to be. 1. OPEN THE DOOR TO HOSPITALITY Fellowship with people you barely know can feel awkward. Inviting one or two others for coffee can build connections in a group that might otherwise feel distant. 1 Peter 4:9 says, “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling,” and it gives not only a charge to invite others in but also a recognition of the work that it requires—why else would he need to add “without grumbling”? Take the initiative to get to know others outside the group. 2. BREAK THE ICE WITH VULNERABILITY We’ve all been a part of groups that felt superficial and impersonal. That happens when no one is willing to share what’s really happening in their lives. You can change that dynamic by being the first to open up yourself. James 5:16 says “confess your sins to one another.” It requires discernment to decide what should be shared in a group rather than with an individual, but honesty bonds and blesses people. 3. ENCOURAGE PEOPLE IN THE BATTLE Everyone in the group you’re a part of shares something in common—they’re all struggling in some way in the battle with sin. It’s hard to daily face the world, the flesh, and the devil, so the Bible calls us to “encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Similarly, Hebrews 3:13 says, “Exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” Your words might be the very thing God uses to help someone keep going. 4. STIR THE GROUP’S VISION FOR SOMETHING MORE The groups I’ve been a part of have been made wonderful by the great ideas and initiatives put forward by their members. Hebrews 10:24 says, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works …” and it’s a reminder that nudging Christians to be and do all that they’re called to requires thought. Is there a project you could take on? An event you could participate in? A way that you could help people in their faith? 5. CARRY PRAYERS THROUGH THE WEEK Prayer is one thing that can knit a group closer to each other and to God. While prayer takes place in most groups, continuing to pray for the group throughout the week turns a group from an event into a community. James 5:16 says, “pray for one another, that you may be healed.” Offer to start a WhatsApp group so that people can pray for each other’s needs. Remember the requests that people make when you meet and pray for them during the week. When you carry people to God in prayer, you carry the group toward deeper faith and healing. 6. DEMONSTRATE WHAT IT MEANS TO REALLY CARE Do you ever feel that people don’t seem to be interested in what’s happening in your life? The apostle Paul found that most people were caught up in their own stuff (Philippians 2:20-21), so he pointed to the humility of Jesus and the example of Timothy and charged them, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4). Your interest in other people’s needs can be contagious and impact the whole mood of a group. Set an example of selflessness. 7. BE GRACIOUS WHEN IT’S MESSY Our tendencies toward fight or flight need to be resisted when tensions rise in Christian fellowship. Small groups bring us closer to other people, so irritation and conflict are inevitable. It’s in those times that we’re called to forgive each other (Colossians 3:13) and bear with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2). When you bring grace to difficult situations, it has the power to transform people and draw you together. Reflecting on and living out the one another commands of Scripture gives you a roadmap for making your small group all that it was intended to be. God can use your obedience to change not only the group but the lives within it. In awe of Him, Paul

[https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56b23a868a65e24fb5da70bb/966a5a26-c144-4966-9983-ded2ee4cc98a/OON+2025+06+18.jpg?format=1000w] Have you ever been in a small group discussion that was more awkward than awesome? You look around and see silence, rambling, confusion, and irritation. Maybe you’ve been the one leading and wondered what went wrong. Consider these pitfalls that can make even the best of Bible studies less than they were intended to be. 1. NEGLECTING TO PREPARE ADEQUATELY Jesus taught that “A disciple is not above his teacher” (Matthew 10:24). Over time, the people in a group sense whether a leader is winging it or has done the work to prepare. Before people arrive, you need to ensure that you understand the questions and can respond to them yourself. You also need to anticipate which questions may cause problems or need to be rephrased. Don’t wait until the discussion to figure this out. 2. LECTURING INSTEAD OF LISTENING People who make the time for a small group have already heard a sermon—and they don’t usually want to hear another one in the group. A good leader prepares well but then listens to hear others articulate the truths of Scripture. Some responses will need to be followed up for clarity while others may need to be reshaped by saying, “I think what you’re getting at is …” Often the truth of God’s Word will surface as you seek multiple responses. Listening well means being curious, asking follow-up questions, and expressing affirmation, delight, or surprise at what you hear. 3. AVOIDING YOUR OWN VULNERABILITY The group will usually only be as vulnerable as the leader. If you are cool and impersonal, others will learn that’s what’s expected. While you don’t want to dominate the conversation, look for opportunities to share how the Scripture intersects with your life. As you share your struggles and joys, it gives room for others in the group to do the same. 4. BEING TOO RIGID WITH THE PLAN Having a plan for your small group discussion is critical. And if you regularly abandon the plan for tangents that the whole group isn’t excited about, you’ll soon begin to lose them. But the questions you prepare are a guide, not a checklist. Allow some flexibility as you lead and give yourself permission to respond to questions that arise. And if it’s a discussion that you’re seeking, don’t sound like you’re reading out exam questions. 5. FAILING TO ADDRESS PROBLEMS Every group has issues that come up—group members are looking to the leader to address them graciously and wisely. It could be a disruptive member or a person who talks too much. People can be rude or dismissive of others’ opinions. For instance, if someone interrupts repeatedly, address it privately. Even if the problems don’t bother you personally, if they affect the group, they’re your responsibility. 6. UNDER-COMMITTING TO THE ROLE Commitment in a group is energizing. When people prioritize their fellowship with one another, it sends the message that the group is important—and that people matter to one another. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. Nobody wants to feel like an afterthought. Nothing stirs commitment in a group more than a leader’s own passion. When a leader arrives late, leaves early, cancels frequently, and allows other things to take priority over the thriving of the small group, the lack of commitment spreads throughout the group. If you’re going to be in, go all in! There are things in every group that are beyond your control. But by focusing on the problems that you can change, you can turn your group into the best version of itself. Consider these six pitfalls in your own leadership—better yet, ask someone else what you need to work on—and ask God to give you grace to grow into the leader your group needs. In awe of Him, Paul

[https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56b23a868a65e24fb5da70bb/5ffbba2c-bba2-4495-a998-8a78f31e3548/2025+06+04+Practical+steps+you+can+take.jpg?format=1000w] Starting a small group is fun, but what started as a great thing can easily become a tired thing. Over time, the people who started with you might move on. And others join with different needs and expectations. Or people don’t join, and it starts to feel stagnant. While God is the one who builds community, there are practical steps you can take to keep your small group thriving over the long term. Consider these four. 1. CLARIFY WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO DO Everybody who joins a group does so with a purpose in mind. They want to build relationships, deepen their accountability, or grow in Bible study. I’ve been a part of groups where months in, I realized that my expectations and the group’s goals were out of sync. It dawned on me that I wouldn’t get what I wanted from the group, and my interest and involvement began to fade. When it’s thriving, people often express appreciation for the group and signal what it is about the group that they truly value. When that’s not happening, it’s worth asking group members why they’re there. Our life groups set out to emphasize fellowship, discipleship, prayer, and mission, but groups can struggle with one or more of those priorities. And sometimes, people are looking for something different. Take some time as a group to ask: * What do you most want from this group? * What do you most appreciate? * Where would you like to see our group grow? As you discuss those questions, you may find that a person’s unmet expectations may energize your group’s growth and development. 2. WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIPS The thing about small groups is that they’re small. And because they’re small, the quality of the relationships impacts almost everything that happens. If relationships are that important, they’re worth observing. Ask yourself questions like: * Are people getting along? * Are people connecting outside of the group? * Is anyone left out? * How do people respond to newcomers? Address tension where you see it. Be a peacemaker and a bridge builder. Help people deal with conflict. Encourage connections and create socials and events that will draw people together and deepen the fellowship. If you’re meeting online, this is all the more important. 3. SHEPHERD PEOPLE’S GROWTH GRACIOUSLY Nobody joins a small group at church because they don’t want to grow. People sacrifice their time for relationships, support, and Bible study, but a small group has the potential to deliver more. As you get to know people in a small group, you can see areas where maturity is lacking. There can be gaps in understanding and holes in trust and obedience. A group thrives when it can help fill those holes. But doing so requires wisdom and grace. Ask yourself questions like: * What’s the spiritual condition of the people in my group? * Am I confident that they truly know Jesus? Do they understand the gospel? * Are there areas of immaturity that are impacting others? * What’s the next step this person needs to take? Once you’ve assessed the needs, you look for the most gracious way to address them. Maybe it’s a group assignment. Sometimes a testimony will help. Often, it will involve some one-on-one time. Bring grace and truth to the spiritual needs of your group members. 4. GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING There’s nothing like mixing things up to inject life into your life group. If all that you do happens in the same weekly format and time slot, it’s easy for it to become stale. There are things that you can do as a group that you’d never be able to accomplish as individuals. So, talk about opportunities and work at mission as a group. * Hold a social event you can invite others to * Plan an outing as a group to deepen your connections * Look for ways you can minister to your neighbourhood Thriving small groups don’t happen by accident. They need work and fine-tuning to keep meeting their purpose and the needs of the group members. If you’re sensing drift, don’t panic. Start by clarifying your purpose, strengthen your connections, shepherd people with grace, and get moving on mission. Keep your group focused on what matters most and ask God to breathe new life into it. In awe of Him, Paul

[https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56b23a868a65e24fb5da70bb/71c51a47-d928-496d-949e-32469dbd1a50/Out+of+Neutral+Thumbnail+Template.psd+%281%29.jpg?format=1000w] They say that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step—but that first step is one of the hardest. People who have been a part of a small group for years can’t imagine the Christian life without it. For others, joining a group can feel like a daunting move. Preparing for what happens on the other side of the door can give you the confidence to walk through it. Here’s what you need to know before your first small group. WHAT TO EXPECT Almost all small groups involve Bible study and prayer. In our groups, we use the discussion questions from the handouts which accompany that week’s message. Expect to read the Bible as a group and discuss what the passage means and how it applies to your life. After the study, group members typically pray for each other. And because small groups are a place to grow in fellowship, if you’re meeting in person, expect there to be time to hang out and get to know other people while you enjoy some snacks. HOW TO PREPARE Getting ready for your first small group shouldn’t be a chore, but there are a number of things you can do to make the experience more rewarding. If the discussion will centre on the sermon, then make sure you’ve listened to the sermon online if you weren’t there that Sunday—and by all means bring a Bible. Reading through the questions in advance will help you feel more confident contributing to the discussion. In the prayer time, you’ll probably be asked how the group can pray for you. This is an opportunity for people to support you, so give thought to areas of your life and faith where you most want God to act. Maybe you have a work challenge, a family situation, or a struggle with Bible reading that the group could pray for. DEALING WITH NERVES It’s completely normal for people to feel nervous about their first small group meeting. Don’t worry—everyone else has felt the same thing. While small groups are meant to be interactive, there’s no expectation for you to contribute when you’re first settling in. It’s completely fine to just quietly listen to the discussion. If you’re not ready to pray out loud yet, it’s okay to pass. But don’t be intimidated if others pray long, eloquent prayers. Jesus commended people for short, simple prayers (Matthew 6:7; Luke 18:13), and so there’s no need to use special words or fancy language. And don’t feel obligated to stay until the very end, either. If you’re meeting in person, people will hang out and chat afterwards, but it’s not a problem if you have to leave as soon as the formal part of the group meeting is done. Take things at your own pace—anything that helps you make that first step is worth it. TAKE THE LEAP Starting something new can be uncomfortable—but God often works through the unfamiliar to grow our faith. You don’t have to have all the answers or know everyone in the room. Just showing up is a step of faith, and that’s something God always honours. In awe of Him, Paul

[https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56b23a868a65e24fb5da70bb/55ba0d23-9585-490b-ad42-3d72d3fc3fd6/OON+2025m5w3v2.jpg?format=1000w] When people think of church, they usually think of the place where you sit, listen, and sing on a Sunday morning, but church was intended to be much more. Church can be a lonely place if you never get past the crowd. You need relationships with other Christians you can invest in and be supported by. You need people to pray for and who will pray for you. You need a place where you can experience the family of God, not just a meeting with God. Small groups, or what we call life groups, are where those things happen. Four things happen in a life group that you miss out on if you’re never a part of one: fellowship, discipleship, prayer, and mission. 1. IN FELLOWSHIP, WE GET TO KNOW THE FAMILY WE’RE CALLED TO LOVE When people think of small groups, they usually think of Bible study—and studying the Bible is essential. But if we’re not growing closer to others in small groups, we’re not following the biblical pattern. The early church “devoted themselves to … fellowship” (Acts 2:42), meeting in homes—not just the temple—in order to love one another as Jesus commanded (Matthew 22:37-39). In our life groups, we begin every week by sharing the highs and lows of our week, so we can get to know one another better, bear one another’s burdens, and celebrate one another’s joys. That’s why most groups either begin or end with snacks to provide a time when people can informally connect. It’s also why our groups do socials every few months and work at deeper relationships with one another. You can’t love people you don’t know. Life groups are where you get to know the family you’re called to love. 2. IN DISCIPLESHIP, WE LEAN INTO THE TEACHING UNTIL THE PENNY DROPS Hearing a sermon is important, but it’s as you try to reflect on what you’ve learned and hear others do the same that real transformation can take place. We use the discussion questions from the sermon handout to dig into the meaning of the passage that was preached that Sunday and discuss how it applies to us personally. While Jesus preached some amazing sermons, where would His disciples be had it not been for questions like, “Who do you say that I am?” (Matthew 16:15), “Why are you afraid, have you still no faith?” (Mark 4:40), “Do you understand what I have done to you?” (John 13:12), or “Do you love me?” (John 21:15-17). Questions help us to connect the dots from understanding to application. And just as Peter’s answers often helped the disciples to reflect on their own, hearing other people’s perspectives helps us to grow ourselves. 3. IN PRAYER, WE CALL ON GOD FOR ONE ANOTHER The end of our formal small group time is spent in prayer. Some groups divide into men’s and women’s subgroups to pray while others are small enough to pray all together. While most Christians pray, it’s difficult to grow in prayer without hearing other Christians pray. Look how the disciples learned to pray. We’re told that “one of his disciples said to him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples’” (Luke 11:1). The result was the Lord’s Prayer. It’s perfectly fine to just listen to other people pray when you first start attending a life group, but it’s in groups like these that most Christians begin to pray out loud for the first time. 4. IN MISSION, WE DO TOGETHER WHAT WE CAN’T DO ON OUR OWN You can love your neighbour and share your faith with a coworker, but there are so many other opportunities that require the response of a team of believers. In groups I’ve been a part of we’ve organized clean-ups for a neighbour’s yard, handed out gospel tracts in a local festival, been a part of an art exhibition, went carolling at Christmas, and brought Christmas gifts to homebound church members. Seeing the faces of those impacted and feeling the satisfaction of serving together made those experiences precious and unforgettable. Each group will be able to respond to different needs, but if there’s a common commitment to do mission together, you’ll experience the joy of impact and service. Ask God to give you eyes to see the opportunities around you. If you’re not already, make time to be a part of a life group. If your nerves make you feel reluctant, know how welcoming the more intimate setting can be. There’s a whole dimension to the Christian life that you can’t experience without it. In awe of Him, Paul