#62: The Hidden Reason Even Good Relationships Drift Apart

#62: The Hidden Reason Even Good Relationships Drift Apart

Have you ever looked at someone you love and wondered, What happened to us? Most people assume relationships drift apart because the spark fades, communication breaks down, or life simply gets in the way. But what if the real reason is much simpler and more hopeful? In this conversation, bestselling author and executive coach Jamie Smart shares a perspective that has transformed the lives of thousands of people he has coached. One of my favorite moments is when Jamie talks about how he'd spent years organizing his relationships around avoiding heartbreak instead of creating true love, and what is possible since making that shift. In this episode, we explore: The underlying causes of relationships drifting and spark fading How your "view" changes how your partner appears to you The downward spiral of disconnection from trying to be "right" How insight transforms relationships faster than trying harder The key to make the shift from self-protection to creating true love Whether you're dating, married, healing from heartbreak, or simply wanting deeper connection, this conversation offers a fresh way of understanding what keeps love alive, and what helps us truly see each other again. And if you want a deep dive into understanding who you truly are, and what's possible in love and life once you know this, this is an episode for you. Enjoyed this conversation? Here are a few more resources: Jamie's Resources: Learn more: JamieSmart.com [https://www.jamiesmart.com/] Listen to Jamie's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/get-clarity-with-jamie-smart/id1173476690 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/get-clarity-with-jamie-smart/id1173476690] Explore Jamie's books, including Clarity and Results: Think Less, Achieve More: https://www.jamiesmart.com/jamie-books/ [https://www.jamiesmart.com/jamie-books/] Shana's Resources: Discover what's keeping you from having the love and connection you want. Take the quiz: https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/ [https://shanajamescoaching.com/] Join the Honest Dating Manual waitlist https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-dating-manual/ [https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-dating-manual/] Need support? Schedule a free Love Consultation: https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult [https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult] Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: IHVPCN3F5C1BO2Q0

#61: How to Navigate Baggage While Dating, Without Letting It Ruin Love

Everyone talks about "baggage" in dating. But what does that actually mean? If you're dating in midlife, chances are you—and everyone you meet—have lived through heartbreak, divorce, health challenges, parenting, financial ups and downs, grief, or complicated family dynamics. The goal isn't to find someone without baggage. It's to discover whether your lives, values, and emotional realities are compatible enough to build something beautiful together. In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down with relationship and intimacy coach Karen Bigman to explore what baggage really is, how to recognize the difference between deal breakers and manageable challenges, and why self-awareness is far more important than finding a "perfect" partner. Together we explore: Why everyone in midlife brings some form of baggage into dating How to tell the difference between compatible and incompatible baggage Why knowing yourself matters more than following dating rules When to communicate your needs, boundaries, and relationship history How divorce, children, finances, family dynamics, and health challenges affect dating Perhaps the biggest takeaway is this: Your past doesn't have to determine your future. What matters is how consciously you understand yourself, communicate your needs, and choose relationships that honor who you are today. Because dating isn't about finding someone with no baggage. It's about finding someone whose life, values, and humanity fit well with yours. About Karen Bigman Karen Bigman is a relationship and intimacy coach, sex educator, and host of the Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50 podcast. She specializes in helping men navigate dating, intimacy, midlife sexuality, and relationships with greater confidence, honesty, and self-awareness. Through coaching, courses, and education, Karen helps people create more connected, authentic relationships in the second half of life. Learn More About Karen Website: https://taboototruth.com [https://taboototruth.com/] Podcast: Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50 [https://www.taboototruth.com/podcast] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TabooToTruth [https://www.youtube.com/@TabooToTruth] Resources from Shana Take the quiz to find out what gets in the way of finding love: Find Love Quiz [https://findlove.scoreapp.com/?ref=podcast] Join the Honest Dating Guide waitlist: https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-dating-manual/ [https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-dating-manual/] Schedule a consultation: https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult [https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult] Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: FTDWN40V3UIZ5PJL

#60: Why High Achieving Couples Lose Connection and How to Get it Back

Why do so many ambitious, successful couples end up feeling more like roommates than romantic partners? It's rarely because they stopped loving each other. Most people assume intimacy begins in the bedroom. Andrew and Kiana Joyner believe it begins at the kitchen table... in the everyday moments where partners feel heard, understood, appreciated, and emotionally safe. When those moments disappear, physical intimacy often follows. In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down with therapist-and-coach team Andrew and Kiana Joyner to explore what actually keeps love alive when careers, parenting, ambition, and everyday responsibilities compete for attention. Whether you're entrepreneurs, professionals, parents, or simply two busy people trying to build a meaningful life together, this conversation offers practical tools you can start to use today. In this episode, we explore: Why emotional intimacy is the foundation of physical intimacy Why high-achieving couples often put their relationship on the back burner without realizing it Why feeling understood matters more than agreeing, and the common misunderstanding about love languages How unresolved hurts quietly create exhaustion and distance in relationships Practical ways to become more intentional with your time, communication, and shared vision The difference between mature and immature communication, and a simple practice that creates repair The actions that actually create lasting connection (since insight alone doesn't change relationships) Lasting love isn't built by accident. It's built through small, intentional moments of understanding, appreciation, and repair. About Andrew & Kianga Joyner Andrew Joyner and Kianga Joyner are a therapist-and-coach team who specialize in helping individuals and couples create emotional clarity, deeper connection, and lasting transformation. Together, they help ambitious couples and successful professionals build stronger communication, greater accountability, and relationships that thrive emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Guest Resources Website: https://www.souljourneyproject.com/ [https://www.souljourneyproject.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/souljourneyproject [https://www.instagram.com/souljourneyproject] Resources from Shana Take the quiz to find out what keeps you from having the best love and sex of your life: https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/ [https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/] Schedule a consultation: https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult [https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult] Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: HDF76SDCD7O26RO5

#59: The Dating Move That Tells You Everything (Before You're in Too Deep)

Many people enter dating determined to avoid conflict. They smile through uncomfortable conversations, overlook comments that don't sit right, or convince themselves they're being "easygoing." Especially for those dating after 40 or dating after divorce, staying agreeable can feel like the safest way to protect themselves from rejection or disappointment. But according to relationship and dating coach Shana James, this habit often prevents people from discovering whether someone is truly capable of building a healthy relationship. In this solo episode of Practicing Love [https://shanajamescoaching.com/1-practicing-love-intro/], I, Shana James [https://www.instagram.com/shanajames/], share the third move in my series on transforming modern dating. While the first two episodes focused on creating an honest atmosphere at the start of a date and staying connected to your own experience throughout the conversation, this episode explores what to do when something doesn't feel quite right. Most people respond to uncomfortable moments in one of two ways. They either smooth things over and pretend nothing happened or they emotionally check out of the conversation without saying a word. Although both reactions are understandable, neither helps you learn whether the person sitting across from you can handle honesty, curiosity, and emotional intimacy. Instead, Shana encourages listeners to do something surprisingly simple: acknowledge what you're experiencing. Rather than accusing your date or making assumptions about their intentions, she recommends expressing your own internal experience. A sentence as simple as, "Can I say something honest?" followed by sharing what you noticed in yourself can completely transform the conversation. This isn't about creating conflict or turning a first date into therapy. It's about inviting authenticity. When you honestly express a small moment of discomfort, your date's response becomes valuable information. They may become curious, defensive, dismissive, or open. Every response reveals something about their emotional maturity and their ability to navigate real relationships. Drawing from years of coaching experience, I share story of a divorced client who repeatedly invested months into relationships before discovering important incompatibilities. By practising this simple shift, he learned to recognize emotional availability within the first hour of meeting someone instead of months later. The goal isn't to test people or create uncomfortable conversations for their own sake. It's to stop performing and start discovering. Together, the three shifts in this series create a new approach to dating—one rooted in honesty instead of approval, curiosity instead of performance, and genuine connection instead of self-protection. Rather than hoping love happens by chance, you begin creating the conditions where authentic intimacy can grow. CHAPTERS Why Small Moments of Friction Matter in Dating The Cost of Staying Silent to Keep the Peace Emotional Maturity vs. Emotional Avoidance The Third Shift: Speak Your Truth with Honesty How to Say "Can I Say Something Honest?" What Someone's Response Reveals About Them A Real-Life Example of Honest Dating in Action The Three Shifts That Create Authentic Connection Building Lasting Love Through Openness and Presence Final Thoughts: Practicing Love After 40 Connect with Shana: Website: https://shanajamescoaching.com/ [https://shanajamescoaching.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shanajames/ [https://www.instagram.com/shanajames/]

#58: The Dead Bedroom Fix: Why Intimacy Dies and How to Bring It Back

What happens when the person you love feels more like a roommate than a romantic partner? A dead bedroom isn't just about sex. For many people, it feels like rejection, loneliness, and the slow loss of emotional connection. It can leave partners wondering: "What's wrong with me?" "Why doesn't my partner want me?" "Can we ever get back what we had?" In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down with speaker, author, and founder of Help for Men, Ralph Brewer, whose book The Dead Bedroom Fix has resonated with thousands of men and couples. Ralph shares his own journey through divorce, starting over as a father of three, and what he learned about intimacy, attachment, confidence, and healing. Together we explore: Why dead bedrooms rarely happen because of sex alone The connection between attachment styles and intimacy struggles Why many men feel forgotten, unwanted, or emotionally alone The shame that keeps people stuck What confidence really means Why asking for help is one of the strongest things we can do Why becoming secure is a practice, not an overnight transformation How addressing the "broken little boy" inside can change your relationships forever This conversation is for anyone who feels lonely in their relationship, longs for more intimacy, or wants to understand why connection fades and how to rebuild it. Because a dead bedroom isn't always the end of a relationship. Sometimes it's an invitation to finally have the conversations and do the healing that bring love back to life. Guest Resources Ralph Brewer's book: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=The+Dead+Bedroom+Fix+Ralph+Brewer [https://www.amazon.com/s?k=The+Dead+Bedroom+Fix+Ralph+Brewer] Help for Men: https://helpformen.com/ [https://helpformen.com/] The Brotherhood: https://thebrotherhoodcommunity.com/ [https://thebrotherhoodcommunity.com/] Resources from Shana Find out what gets in the way of you having the best sex of your life: https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/?ref=podcast [https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-dating-manual/] Learn more about Honest Sex: https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-sex/ [https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-sex/] Schedule an Effortless Love and Sex Consultation: https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult [https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult] Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: CNP489SMTIUXHOMC