Why the F*k Is Building a Business So Lonely? (Solo episode featuring Abigail)

Why the F*k Is Building a Business So Lonely? (Solo episode featuring Abigail)

There's a version of running your own business that looks great from the outside. Freedom, flexibility, being your own boss. And then there's what it actually feels like at 2am when you can't switch your brain off, surrounded by people you can't be honest with because they're either competition or clients or colleagues you need to look capable in front of. Reflective Rebels community member Abigail asked the question 'why the f*ck is running a business so lonely?'. In this experimental solo episode, Ben weaves in Abigail's raw voice notes (recorded on a dog walk!) and reflects on what she's bravely sharing. Listen if you... * Feel like you're performing a version of yourself every time you show up to a networking event * Have had a nightmare client and had absolutely nobody to vent to about it * Know you're winging it as a leader but can't admit that to anyone * Feel lonelier running your own business than you ever did working for someone else * Are exhausted by maintaining the "it's going really well" version of yourself * Wonder if everyone else has got it more together than you do Keywords business owner loneliness, entrepreneur isolation, imposter syndrome, leadership loneliness, self-employed mental health, business owner burnout, vulnerable leadership, belonging vs fitting in, small business owner struggles, people pleasing business owner, self-employed overwhelm, authentic leadership About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified executive coach based in Carlisle, Cumbria. reflectiverebels.co.uk [http://reflectiverebels.co.uk] Support the Podcast The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it. Get in Touch reflectiverebels.co.uk [http://reflectiverebels.co.uk]

From the Top of My Career to a Black Hole... and Back: Emma Sherlock on Joining the Family Business

Emma Sherlock had her own show on BBC Radio Cumbria. She'd been a journalist for the best part of two decades. She knew exactly who she was and what she was doing and she was very good at it. And then she walked into the family business and none of it counted. She went in as a very experienced journalist and a very green businesswoman. Made mistakes with people. Was quite strongly disliked. Felt physically sick going into work some days. And all of that was happening during COVID, living in a caravan whilst building a house, and trying to keep other people's salaries alive when the whole sector had crashed. It was, in her words, horrendously awful. It's taken her till now to talk about it without crying. But she kept going. Made the calls she had to make. Lived with the fallout. And learned, as she puts it, hard, sharp, steep lessons. Now the business is in its best years. The team is twelve people she genuinely loves. And she's chartered a yacht for the summer! This one's for anyone who's brilliant at what they do and terrified they might be getting the other stuff completely wrong. Listen if you... * Feel like a fraud in a role you chose but didn't feel ready for * Are making bold decisions and losing sleep wondering if you got them right * Have ever been disliked for doing the right thing and found it harder than you expected * Know you need to make a change in your team but can't face the fallout * Are in the middle of something horrendously awful and need to know there's an other side * Can't motivate the people around you the way you'd motivate yourself and don't know why About Emma Emma Sherlock is co-director of Stan Sherlock Associates, a financial services firm based in Carlisle. Keywords career change, joining the family business, imposter syndrome, business owner, people management, redundancy, leadership, self-doubt, reinvention, starting over, vulnerable leadership, entrepreneur overwhelm About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified executive coach based in Carlisle, Cumbria. reflectiverebels.co.uk [http://reflectiverebels.co.uk] Support the Podcast The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it. Get in Touch reflectiverebels.co.uk [http://reflectiverebels.co.uk] or find Ben on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/] and LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/benhickman109/].

You've Got to Have Joy: Greg Johnston on Grief, Courage, and Team Evie

Greg Johnston's favourite day of the week is Friday. Fish and chips, a film with the girls, easing into the weekend. The kind of simple, ordinary joy that doesn't need explaining. It took a lot to get there. Greg and his wife Jill lost their daughter Evie in September 2015, six months after she was born. On the night she died, they made a decision - her life was going to have a positive impact. Team Evie was born that night. It now supports around 10,000 families a year across Cumbria, Lancashire, and the North East. This conversation is about grief and joy and what it looks like to keep choosing joy even when grief is part of the picture. Listen if you... * Keep moving forward because stopping feels more frightening than carrying on * Are the person who always copes, so asking for help has never really felt like an option * Have been through something hard and quietly wonder if you'll ever feel properly okay again * Know what it is to hold everything together on the outside while something is breaking on the inside * Have been told "time's a healer" and it didn't help * Are looking for proof that joy is still possible after the hardest thing Keywords grief and resilience, child loss, bereavement support, asking for help, health anxiety, courage, joy after loss, mental health, charity founder, Team Evie, Reflective Rebels, UK podcast About Greg Johnston Greg Johnston is the founder and CEO of Team Evie, a charity supporting families of critically ill children across Cumbria, Lancashire, and the North East. Find out more and support the charity: teamevie.co.uk [http://teamevie.co.uk] Support Team Evie Team Evie relies entirely on donations and fundraising to do what it does. If this episode has moved you, please consider making a donation or getting involved. Every contribution directly supports families going through the hardest thing. teamevie.co.uk [http://teamevie.co.uk]. If you've been affected If anything in this episode has brought something up for you - child loss, bereavement, health anxiety, or just the feeling that you're not coping as well as you should be - please don't sit with it alone. Team Evie's peer support service is at teamevie.co.uk [http://teamevie.co.uk]. For mental health support, Mind are at mind.org.uk [http://mind.org.uk]. About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach based in Carlisle. Reflective Rebels exists to spread joy - the kind that comes from knowing who you are, knowing what you want, and having the courage to go and get it. reflectiverebels.co.uk [http://reflectiverebels.co.uk] Support the Podcast The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it. Episode length: 1:15:48

You Are Not a Project: On Exhaustion, Rest, and Doing Nothing on Purpose (solo episode)

There's a kind of exhaustion that a good night's sleep doesn't touch. You know the one. Everything looks fine from the outside, but on the inside you're one smashed glass at half ten at night away from losing it completely. Listen if... * You're holding it together on the outside but running on empty on the inside * You've turned self-care into another standard you're failing to meet * You track your sleep and still wake up tired * You feel guilty for resting when there's still stuff to do You know all the things you're supposed to do — and somehow that's making it worse * You're one small thing away from the tears coming out This solo episode is Ben sitting on a log in Geltwood... literally, in the woods, on a wet log ...thinking out loud about the exhaustion that comes from applying your high-achieving, run-faster brain to absolutely everything, including rest. The magnesium supplements. The sleep tracking app. The morning routine you set your alarm earlier for and then felt bad about when you didn't get up. The self-care industry has quietly turned recovery into another performance standard, and if that's landing for you right now, this one's for you. Ben also brings in some genuinely fascinating neuroscience about what the brain actually does when you stop, and why doing nothing is not laziness, it's necessary. A short episode that might change how you think about rest. About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach based in Carlisle. He helps people build businesses and lives that actually feel good. reflectiverebels.co.uk [http://reflectiverebels.co.uk] Support the Podcast The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it. Get in Touch Find out about coaching and the Badass Business Lab at reflectiverebels.co.uk [http://reflectiverebels.co.uk]

I Was a Puzzle Piece That Didn't Fit Anywhere - Kim Anson's Story

Not fitting in doesn't always look like being left out. Sometimes it's just a quiet sense that wherever you are, you're slightly on the outside of it. Kim Anson spent years feeling like that, working three jobs at once, stuck and skint, with pottery always running quietly in the background. Now she runs her own studio in Carlisle where people walk in and the stress drops off their shoulders. It didn't happen with a plan. It happened because she never stopped making pots. Listen if... * You've got a thing you keep coming back to but can't figure out how to make it your actual life. * You're working hard, maybe across multiple jobs, and still asking yourself "what am I actually doing?" * You've never quite fitted in anywhere and you're starting to wonder if that's a problem or a superpower. Keywords not fitting in, finding your tribe, creative business, self-employment anxiety, saying no in business, career change, starting a business from nothing, self-doubt, business owner mental health, setting boundaries, identity Five Lessons from This Episode * Kim was working retail, pubs, and a stockroom after uni, stuck and skint. But she was spending her spare money on pottery machinery instead of house deposits. The thing you're meant to build might already be the thing you can't stop doing. * Her grandma passed away and left her money. Kim put every penny into a studio and her parents matched it. The turning point wasn't a plan. It was knowing what she wanted and backing it. * Within a year Kim was ill from running the studio alongside her school job. Something has to give, and it's better if you choose what before your body does. * Kim said yes to everything for a year, then spent the next year saying no. She worked out what drained her and now protects her days off without apology. * Kim never changed shape to fit anyone else's puzzle. She built her own, and the right people found her. Key Moments (00:07:08) Kim on feeling like a puzzle piece that didn't fit anyone else's puzzle. (22:37) The sober story. How binge drinking crept in and how Dry January became permanent. (27:46) "What am I doing?" The years of being stuck after uni. (37:16) Kim's grandma passes away and every penny goes into a studio. (43:57) What the studio became. People walking in and the stress dropping off. (50:49) The year-of-yes followed by year-of-no approach to boundaries. Quotable Moments "I was almost like a jigsaw puzzle piece that didn't fit into anybody else's puzzle." On feeling slightly on the outside of everything. "What am I doing? I'd turn to my mate and say, what the fuck are we doing?" The stuck years after uni. "There wasn't even a shadow in my mind that I was going to spend it on a holiday or put it down for a deposit." On her grandma's inheritance. "It's my life and I've chosen it." Three years into the studio. About Kim Kim Anson runs KAH Ceramics, a pottery studio in Carlisle. Instagram: @kah_ceramics [https://www.instagram.com/kah_ceramics/] About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach on a mission to spread joy. Support the Podcast: Share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it. Get in Touch reflectiverebels.co.uk [http://reflectiverebels.co.uk] | Instagram: @reflectiverebels [https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/] |