Sisters, Survival Humor, Stephen’s Stroke, and Mila’s Birth

Sisters, Survival Humor, Stephen’s Stroke, and Mila’s Birth

Rachel’s sister Kristina joins Resurface for an episode that starts with sibling chaos and somehow ends up in the deepest parts of the family story. They talk about growing up as sisters, childhood punishments, birth order, husbands, cleaning, workplace red flags, and why anyone who says “we’re like a family here” at work shouldprobably be watched carefully. But this episode also turns toward the moments that shaped their family forever, including Stephen’s stroke and Mila’s birth. Rachel and Kristina talk about what it was like to live thoseemergencies from different sides of the phone, how trauma changes the way you remember things, and why humor has always been part of how their familysurvives hard things. It’s funny, honest, a little chaotic, and very much a sister episode. Because on Resurface, we laugh first. It’s a means of survival. If you are parenting through stress, disability, medical uncertainty, or just trying to hold your family together while life keeps coming at you, this episode is for you. New episodes weekly on Apple Podcastsand Spotify. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needsparenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it. Download your free Get Helpedand Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads] Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tiktok.com/@resurfacepod] Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theresurfacepodcast/] Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ResurfacePodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61584198124279] Email us:contact@resurfacepodcast.com Visit our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [www.resurfacepodcast.com] Find us on Threads: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast] Resurface is the only podcast where two medical traumasurvivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects, parent a medically complex child and special needs child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still choose to love each other through the storm. And try to make you laugh while we do it. We are not a recovery story. We are a survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it.

The Reality of Parenting a Child That Could Die from a Seizure: Epilepsy Parenting

Episode 25 starts with pet peeves, including Stephen calling from the grocery store, interrupted alone time, tipping culture, and more. We always choose to laugh first. Then we shift into a more serious conversation about raising a child with epilepsy. Rachel retells the story of Mila's first ever seizure, which was life threatening status epilepticus. We talk about how Mila’s diagnosis changed the way we parent, what constant monitoring looks like behind the scenes, why relaxing is not possible anymore, how epilepsy affects marriage and daily life, and how we try to protect her without letting her diagnoses become her identity. This episode is funny, honest, heavy, and real, which is basically the Resurface formula. If you are facing Medicaid service denials in the State of North Carolina, join the fight for systemic change by visiting this website and filling out the intake form: https://tinyurl.com/ncmedicaidfamilies [https://tinyurl.com/ncmedicaidfamilies] If you are parenting through stress, disability, medical uncertainty, or just trying to hold your family together while life keeps coming at you, this episode is for you. New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast, and the community around it. Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads] Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tiktok.com/@resurfacepod] Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theresurfacepodcast/] Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61584198124279] Email us: contact@resurfacepodcast.com Visit our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [www.resurfacepodcast.com] Find us on Threads: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast] Resurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects, parent a medically complex child and special needs child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still choose to love each other through the storm. And try to make you laugh while we do it. We are not a recovery story. We are a survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it. Disclaimer: We are not medical professionals. The experiences, observations, and information shared in this episode reflect our personal journey and our understanding at the time, based on what we lived through and learned along the way. This content is not intended as medical advice and should not be used as a substitute for guidance from qualified healthcare professionals.

Reacting to viral video comments, how trauma affects intimacy, and the decision to love

In this episode we start by reacting to the viral back massage clip comments. We then talk about marriage after crisis, family after trauma, and what intimacy looks like when your world has been turned upside down. If you are parenting through stress, disability, medical uncertainty, or just trying to hold your family together while life keeps coming at you, this episode is for you. New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it. Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads] Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tiktok.com/@resurfacepod] Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theresurfacepodcast/] Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61584198124279] Email us: contact@resurfacepodcast.com Visit our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [www.resurfacepodcast.com] Find us on Threads: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast] Resurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects, parent a medically complex child and special needs child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still choose to love each other through the storm. And try to make you laugh while we do it. We are not a recovery story. We are a survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it. 00:00 Reacting to Viral Marriage Video Comments00:48 Back Massage Clip That Went Viral02:05 Men React to the Back Massage Debate04:39 Is Asking for a Back Massage an “Impossible Request”?06:17 “Horrible Western Life” Comment Reaction08:28 Men vs. Women in Marriage Comment Section10:36 Stephen’s Nervous Laugh and Marriage Humor12:44 “No Intimacy Unless He Cooks Dinner”16:24 Do Women Even Like Their Husbands?18:54 Back Massages, Marriage, and Mixed Signals20:54 Content Theft, Rage Bait, and Viral Podcast Clips24:21 Subscribe, Review, and Support Resurface Podcast24:50 Mila’s Epilepsy Monitoring Unit and Cochlear Implant Updates27:22 Family Updates, Superior Court, and Real Life Stress30:01 How Trauma Affects Marriage, Intimacy, and Connection30:43 Why People Assume Marriage Jokes Mean Resentment32:06 Love Is a Choice, Not Just a Feeling36:16 Marriage Vows Through Stroke, Disability, Parenting, and Crisis38:32 Bickering vs. Contempt in Marriage39:47 Why Asking for Help Feels Vulnerable After Trauma42:47 The Ripple Effect of Medical Crisis and Family Trauma46:20 Why Families Still Need Support After the Hospital48:03 Why Physical Affection Gets Hard When Life Is Exhausting54:11 Loving Your Spouse Without Making It Transactional56:28 Humor as a Survival Tool in Marriage and Trauma58:35 Why the Podcast Helps Us Laugh Together Again01:00:21 How Stroke Changed Stephen’s Emotions and Laughter01:02:24 Grief, Recovery, and Not Dwelling on What Was Lost01:04:28 Meal Planning, Family Stress, and Mental Load01:05:59 Aiden, Responsibility, and Kids Processing Family Hardship01:08:09 Hard Conversations About Budget, Medical Stress, and Marriage01:10:14 When Small Problems Feel Huge During Crisis01:13:10 PTSD, Irritability, and Needing Grace in Marriage01:16:44 Creating a Nightly Marriage Check-In Routine01:18:33 Upcoming EMU Update, Marriage Reactions, and Pet Peeves01:20:00 Closing Thoughts and Next Episode Preview

The State says 25 Minutes Without a Pulse "Isn't Medical"

In Part 2 of our Medicaid waiver hearing recap, we read more direct quotes from the hearing transcript, including the moments that still do not make sense to us. This episode picks up where our last one left off. After losing in court, we are going through the actual exchanges from the hearing, including testimony from medical providers, arguments made about Mila’s needs, and the way her disability, epilepsy, brain injury, and daily care were discussed. Some parts are serious. Some parts are absurd. Some parts made us angry all over again. This is the final chapter of this part of the story before we move forward to the next level. We start out by doing what we always do, laughing as a form of comedic relief and trauma healing. We talk about: * The state’s argument that Mila’s needs were behavioral or developmental * Medical testimony about her brain injury, epilepsy, and ongoing care needs * The claim that she “didn’t want to walk” * Why supervision and hands-on care matter when a child is medically fragile * What it felt like to put our daughter’s doctors on the stand * Why we are still fighting This is not legal advice or medical advice. This is our family’s experience, told in real time, with direct quotes from the hearing and our honest reactions as Mila’s parents. If you missed Part 1, watch it here: https://youtu.be/SNfBZO1XdQE?si=l_A6CBlqW76hSpEw [https://youtu.be/SNfBZO1XdQE?si=l_A6CBlqW76hSpEw] If you are parenting through stress, disability, medical uncertainty, or just trying to hold your family together while life keeps coming at you, this episode is for you. New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it. Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads] Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tiktok.com/@resurfacepod] Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theresurfacepodcast/] Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61584198124279] Email us: contact@resurfacepodcast.com Visit our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [www.resurfacepodcast.com] Find us on Threads: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast] Resurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects, parent a medically complex child and special needs child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still choose to love each other through the storm. And try to make you laugh while we do it. We are not a recovery story. We are a survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it.

We Lost in Court - Reading Direct Quotes from the Hearing

In this episode of Resurface, we start the way we refuse to stop starting, with laughter, marriage banter, and another round of Agree or Disagree. We debate whether the higher earner should get more say over money, why “we need to talk” texts are morally wrong unless immediately explained, whether one parent should override the other’s discipline, and whether all men should know how to cook.Then the episode turns to the heart of it: an update on Mila’s CAP/C waiver hearing against NC DHHS. Rachel walks Stephen through key moments from the hearing, including medical testimony about Mila’s birth injury, her prolonged seizure with status epilepticus, her hearing loss, the state’s attempt to frame her needs as behavioral or developmental rather than medical, and the judge’s decision to dismiss the case before the state ever put on its own witnesses. Stephen reacts in real time as Rachel reads portions of the testimony, the judge's comments, and the state attorney's remarks. And, we both explain why we will keep going.This one moves from funny to furious to determined, because that is basically the Resurface brand: real life, very few polished edges, and the refusal to stop laughing even when the serious parts are very serious. If you are parenting through stress, disability, medical uncertainty, or just trying to hold your family together while life keeps coming at you, this episode is for you. New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it. Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads] Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tiktok.com/@resurfacepod] Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theresurfacepodcast/] Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61584198124279] Email us: contact@resurfacepodcast.com Visit our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [www.resurfacepodcast.com] Find us on Threads: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast] Resurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects, parent a medically complex child and special needs child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still choose to love each other through the storm. And try to make you laugh while we do it. We are not a recovery story. We are a survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it.