Who Are You Really? Identity, Ego, and Coming Home to Yourself | Sanity Optional | Episode 14

Who Are You Really? Identity, Ego, and Coming Home to Yourself | Sanity Optional | Episode 14

In this episode, Alexis digs into one of the most disorienting questions you can ask yourself: who are you, actually? She breaks down the difference between identity and ego, why so many people are living out a version of themselves built around earning love or staying safe, and what it feels like when you finally stop performing and start just being. Alexis gets into the nervous system roots of people-pleasing and overachieving, why reinventing yourself is healthy and not a crisis, and how rigid family systems quietly shape the way we see ourselves for decades. She also gets into ego death, the shadow self, and why coming home to your identity isn't a destination so much as a practice. Timestamps 00:00 Identity vs. Ego 02:37 Healthy vs. Unhealthy Ego 06:32 Defining Self: Who Am I? 09:42 Fluidity of Identity 12:51 Chosen vs. Inherited Identity 16:03 Authenticity and Relationships 19:50 Self-Love and Validation 22:32 Human Nature and Shadow Self 26:17 Reinvention and Growth 29:43 Exiting the Matrix of Fear 33:04 The Power of Authenticity 36:17 Outgrowing Family Identity 39:10 The Pitfalls of Labels 43:33 Online vs. Authentic Self 47:25 AI, Brands, and Purpose 51:17 Embracing Life’s Waves ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

The History of Mental Health: How We Got Here and Why It Matters | Sanity Optional | Episode 13

In this episode, Alexis gets into something she has been wanting to cover for a while: the history of mental health. And it is not a comfortable story. From spinning chairs and ice pick lobotomies to forced sterilizations funded by Rockefeller and Carnegie, she walks through how we got here and why so many people still carry a deep fear of mental institutions and psychiatric care. She also gets into the moments when humanity actually got it right, the Quakers, and what happened every single time kindness and community proved more effective than medication and control. Spoiler: it got shut down. Timestamps 00:00 Introduction to Mental Health History 03:13 Early Mental Health Treatments 09:27 Humanitarian Reforms & Setbacks 14:02 Eugenics Movement in Mental Health 16:47 Brutal 20th Century ‘Treatments’ 20:03 Lobotomy and Chemical Lobotomy 33:26 Reflecting on Mental Health History ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

Hypnosis, Hope, and Importance of Kindness | Sanity Optional | Episode 12

This episode does not have a tidy theme and Alexis is the first to admit it. She starts with some genuinely good news, talks about quitting vaping through hypnosis after two years of trying everything else, and then goes somewhere bigger. She gets into why everyone has become so mean online, why we have lost the ability to have fun, and why the loneliness epidemic is not going to be solved by anyone at the top of the room. She also gets into hope, excitement, community, and why the small choices we make every single day matter more than we think. Timestamps  00:00 Quitting Nicotine: A Personal Journey 03:00 Hypnosis: The Breakthrough Solution 06:40 The Rise of Judgment and Fear 09:50 Social Media’s Impact and Loneliness 13:00 Embracing Imperfection and Connection 17:28 Prioritizing Real-Life Interaction 19:38 Economic Disparity and Lack of Empathy 24:52 Rekindling Hope, Excitement, and Community 29:50 Workplace Fun and Kindness 32:40 The Power of Small Choices and Kindness ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

ChatGPT vs. Therapist: Stop Asking the Computer and Start Asking Each Other | Sanity Optional | Episode 11

Alexis has a bone to pick with ChatGPT. She works through the most googled mental health, sex, and dating questions and makes the case that most of what people are searching for has nothing to do with information; it’s about wanting to know that someone else feels the same way. She also gets into burnout culture, why community has quietly disappeared from modern life, and why the simple act of talking to a stranger might be more healing than anything you will find on a screen. Timestamps 00:00 ChatGPT vs. Therapist 01:36 ChatGPT’s Offense: Therapist to Therapist 04:00 Is What I’m Feeling Normal? 06:56 Coping with Stress: It’s Not That Serious 08:11 Sex Drive and Body Normality 09:37 Feeling Stuck and Burnt Out 12:12 Dating: Why Can’t I Find Someone? 14:31 Funny Questions and Texting Etiquette 16:40 The Fear of Human Connection 17:50 ChatGPT as a Tool, Not a Replacement 21:07 Bringing Back Community and Connection ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

The Sex Episode: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body | Sanity Optional | Episode 10

The sex episode is here, and it goes somewhere unexpected. Alexis starts with performance anxiety, orgasmic disorder, and why we are all so weird about sex in America, before pivoting into the conversation she really wanted to have. The one nobody wants to have. She gets into sexual safety, predatory behavior, how to talk to your kids about body safety, and what she learned from the years she spent working with some of the most dangerous people she has ever encountered. She closes with a reminder that whatever happened to you does not leave a mark you cannot heal from, and that you deserve to thrive, not just survive. ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/