Sloshbucklers

Today, we’re drinking Corona Hard Seltzers! Be sure to follow Sloshbucklers on Twitter and Instagram @sloshbucklers. Business inquiries: sloshbucklerspodcast@gmail.com TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Let’s get started! 00:46 Origins of Corona 4:06 Nutrition Facts: 4.5%, 90 calories, 0g carb, 0g sugar. Retails for $15.99. 4:42 The fun begins with my guest, Chandler! 6:00 Tropical Lime 10:48 Packaging Review 13:12 Waft 13:20 Taste Test for Tropical Lime: flavor and fizz level 22:25 Begin our dump cup where we pour all the flavors into one cup which we’ll drink at the end! 22:53 The Drinking Game: Regrateful 26:47 Elaine regrets the original drinking game she tried to make at 2 a.m. the night before recording this episode. 28:09 Chandler’s heartbreaking story about pizza. 30:11 Mango 33:58 Packaging Review 35:18 Taste Test for Mango 38:42 Regrateful 38:42 Chandler’s ex was arrested. 40:47 Mais, non pour Elaine. 44:46 Breathing Break: Falling Out and Box Breaths 47:54 Sobering Thought: Depressed Fish! 52:48 Blackberry Lime 53:44 Packaging Review 54:00 Waft 54:45 Taste Test for Blackberry Lime 59:00 Regrateful 59:04 Elaine coulda been an (artsy) contendah! 1:01:55 Chandler and friends! 1:04:00 For some reason we start taste testing my dog’s food and treats lol. 1:08:50 Secrets 1:18:52 Cherry 1:21:09 Packaging Review 1:22:03 Waft 1:22:15 Taste Test for Cherry 1:26:11 Regrateful 1:28:20 Time to drink the Dump Cup! 1:30:39 Overall Ranking 1:34:33 Outro

*Drink responsibly* Today, we’re drinking Smirnoff Seltzers! Be sure to follow Sloshbucklers on Twitter and Instagram @sloshbucklers. Business inquiries: sloshbucklerspodcast@gmail.com TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Privyet, Sloshbuckler! 2:13 The weird and wild history of P.A. Smirnov. 4:29 Nutrition facts: 4.5%, 90 calories, 1 carb, 0 sugar. Also, no vodka--still just fermented sugar like our other seltzers! Retails for $15.99. 5:17 The fun begins with my guest, Blaike! We chat about our experience with hard seltzer which morphs into our past with vodka lol. 9:45 Berry Lemonade 10:09 Packaging Review 12:44 If this can of Smirnoff Seltzer was a human, what would they be like? (A dangerous bit begins). 14:23 Taste Test for Berry Lemonade: Flavor and Fizz Level 18:18 Our ranking of BL using (in)famous Russians as our scale. (BL got a Trotsky, by the way). 19:34 The Drinking Game: Smirnophagus 21:08 Blaike takes his first turn at this off-brand Russian Roulette. 23:08 Elaine selects her pick from the wrapped doggy poop bags of mini bottles (we’re low budget). 25:10 Lemon Lime 25:48 Packaging Review, including our character updates for each flavor. 26:49 Taste Test for Lemon Lime 29:27 Our Russian Rating: Lenin and Dmitri 30:08 Smirnophagus: Blaike pulls another horrible mini bottle and Elaine also suffers. 34:10 Sobering Thoughts 40:46 Black Cherry 41:46 Packaging Review 42:11 Taste Test for BC 46:26 The Russian Ratings: Olga Romanov and Rasputin 48:47 Smirnophagus: The worst round yet. 55:53 It’s time for SECRETS SHHHH. 1:03:58 Orange 1:04:48 Packaging Review 1:05:08 Taste Test for O 1:09:13 The Russian Ratings: Ivan the Terrible and Lenin. 1:10:06 Smirnophagus: Florals and fruits. 1:15:12 Water, water everywhere… 1:17:08 Best and Worst Liquors Ranking 1:18:16 The Dump Cup: Trying all the seltzers mixed together. 1:20:48 Ultimate ranking 1-4 of Smirnoff Seltzers 1:25:03 Drinking the Dump Cup 1:26:14 A Dump Cup for all the mini bottles MWHAHA. 1:28:56 #Blainey 1:30:02 Farewell! MUSIC Epidemic Sound You can get a free month with Epidemic Sound here: https://bit.ly/330Mtz9 [https://bit.ly/330Mtz9] Colors of an Artist Double Whoosh Whimsically Wonderful - Arthur Benson Our Own Rhythm - River Run Dry Shaving Grace - T. Morri Amun Ra - Bureaucrap Yesterday I Danced as Well - Little Island Leap Fog of Moscow - Sight of Wonderss Russian Folk Song - Traditional Weapon of Choice - Fabien Tell How to Tango - Arthur Benson In St. Petersburg - Sight of Wonders Out the Back (Sting) - Martin Carlberg Esprit Pacifique - Martin Klem Red Square Meeting - Trabant 33 Firesign - Jay Varton When Morning Came - Clarke Russo Our Gold Days - Heyday Highway Desert Hideout - Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen Oh Motherland by Sight of Wonders For the Final Kingdom by Edgar Hopp Why Even Bother by Isaac Larson Around Every Corner by Arthur Benson Champions Day by Lupus Nocte Angry Cats by Medité Speak to Me Prague by Trabant 33 Grand Buffoon by Benjamin Rice Primavera by Trabant 33 Moscow Sidewalk by Mike Franklyn Balkan Parade by Stationary Sign

Today, we’re drinking the berry mix pack from Trulys! Be sure to follow Sloshbucklers on Twitter [twitter.com/sloshbucklers] and Instagram [instagram.com/sloshbucklers]. Interested in partnering with Sloshbucklers? Reach out at sloshbucklerspodcast@gmail.com TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Sigh, here we go. 00:46 Nutrition facts for Trulys and its mysteriously missing Wikipedia page. 2:35 Meet Laura! What’s our experience with hard seltzer? 4:20 The Tale of Elaine, The Bachelorette, and a Cursed Recliner 10:45--12:28 You can skip over this part if you don’t like sick talk (we don’t get too graphic but if it’s not your thing at all, hop ahead!). 13:10 Live Long and Prosper: The Aftermath 15:00 The Drinking Game: Seltzer Symbel 15:55 Packaging Review 19:35 Taste Test: Raspberry Lime 20:23 Seltzer Symbel: Here we go. 21:30 Flavor review: Berry vs. Citrus 24:30 Seltzer Symbel to small birds. Screw big birds. 26:42 Ranking thus far (spoiler alert: raspberry lime is in first...and last). 27:21 We will create and drink the Truest Truly, a goblet filled with EVERY FLAVOR OF TRULYS that we’ll drink at the end of the episode. 29:00 Taste Test: Wild Berry 30:09 Seltzer Symbel to onesies. 31:08 Flavor review 32:50 The Wild Berry Daydream 33:20 What drives you WILD? 35:15 Ranking thus far between Raspberry Lime and Wild Berry. 35:40 Sobering Thought: Towns that drowned in things other than water (very uplifting). 39:35 Taste Test: Black Cherry 40:31 Artificial cherry flavor debate 43:10  Seltzer Symbel to our favorite memes. 44:00 Flavor review 46:00 Ranking thus far 47:15 Seltzer Symbel to the journey of FRIENDSHIP, college trash, and Build-A-Bear 49:52 Secrets 50:53 Elaine’s secret toilet. 54:09 A surprising essay emailed to Laura from a long-ago “friend.” 56:51 Bagel Bites Break. Secrets shall now resume. 57:21 Seltzer Symbel to Bagel Bites. 57:55 The strange essay secret continues. 1:10:21 Taste Test: Blueberry Acai 1:10:53 Packaging, wtf is acai, and real vs. artificial blueberry flavor. 1:13:00 Wafting 1:13:49 Seltzer Symbel to Brandon, for that is how he introduced himself. 1:14:16 Flavor review 1:16:30 Setlzer/Bagel Bite Symbel to Oprah. 1:17:47 Final Review: Chuggability, Flavor, and Overall Ranking 1:19:44 Setlzer Symbel to our favorite flavors. 1:20:06 The Truest Truly: Drinking every flavor at once. And the final Seltzer Symbels. 1:23:11 Flavor review 1:26:26 We’re barely alive. 1:27:17 Outro MUSIC Epidemic Sound Crusade - Video Classica by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/] Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100884 [http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100884] Artist: http://incompetech.com/ [http://incompetech.com/]

Thanks so much for listening to Sloshbucklers! You can follow the podcast on Twitter [https://twitter.com/sloshbucklers] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/sloshbucklers/] @Sloshbucklers. New episodes come out every other Thirsty Thursday so until then, drink your water! TIMESTAMPS 00:48 White Claw origin story and nutrition facts. 2:23 What’s our previous experience with hard seltzer? 3:56 Opening the Mystery Bag for the first flavor, Red Raspberry! 4:33 Packaging Review. Do you feel inferior to this can? Does it feel hardcore? 8:27 Welcome to our drinking game, White Claws and Dragons! 9:40 Meet your Bard, Dwyane “Brock” Johnson! 10:33 Meet your Cleric, Thad Pitt! 11:32 Taste Test for Red Raspberry (RR). 13:50 How does RR rank so far? 15:08 White Claws and Dragons: The First Scenario Cards 16:00 How our characters know each other. 17:05  Brock Johnson’s first adventure in Applebee’s: A RIDDLE. 19:00 Thad Pitt’s first adventure. Where’s the queso? 20:37 Second drink revealed from the Magic Box: Natural Lime! 21:30 Taste Test for Lime 23:10 Cocktail Time: Kameron decides to mix her White Claws. 23:11 Our ranking thus far between RR and Lime. 25:45 White Claws and Dragons: Scenario 2 25:52 Brock takes the mic at karaoke. 29:39 Thad Pitt runs into his ex at the bar. Scenario 3 34:02 A wizard visits Brock while he’s taking a whiz. 38:05 Thad falls into a thirst trap full of Cougars. 42:54 Vibe check after two hard seltzers and many drinks. 43:24 Sobering Thought: The most boring day in history. Drink some water! 46:48 Chip saga. 47:31 Drink 3: Red Ruby Grapefruit ft. the new Secret Magic Box song. 50:20 Taste Test for Grapefruit. 53:36 White Claws and Dragons: Scenario 4 53:48 Brock is tested at karaoke once more and man, he feels like a woman. 56:50 Thad casually encounters A DRAGON. Not all is at it seems. 1:04:35 Drink 4: Black Cherry 1:05:50 Package review. 1:06:42 Taste Test for Black Cherry. 1:10:40 White Claws and Dragons: Scenario 5 1:11:00 Brock runs into his third-grade teacher and things get awkward. 1:14:15 Thad Pitt moseys on down to the loo when he bumps into a waiter, Sherry Thatsit, who is carrying many drinks. 1:16:36 SECRETS. 1:21:08 Blind Taste Test 1:23:50 White Claws and Dragons: The Final Claw 1:24:05 Kameron must drink an entire goblet of all the flavors. Thad Pitt makes the most of spilling all the drinks. 1:23:47 Elaine has to drink seltzer upside down. Brock enjoys a keger with the men’s choir. 1:28:25 Overall rating of all the flavors. 1:30:05 Outro! Drink responsibly!

Welcome to Sloshbucklers, the uncanny podcast that reviews canned booze. I’m your host, Elaine Best, and in every episode, a guest and I will experience the wonders of canned alcohol. Don your salmon shorts and find a boat because season one is gonna be about HARD SELTZER. Each episode will also have its own drinking game, and since seltzer is quite bubbly, the house rules require all participants to drink every time someone burps. New episodes release every other Thirsty Thursday so be sure to follow this podcast to stay updated on the adventure! Drink responsibly and journey on, Sloshbuckler. Instagram and Twitter: @Sloshbucklers