How to Be the Parent Your Child Needs During Divorce

How to Be the Parent Your Child Needs During Divorce

In this episode of The D Shift, Mardi Winder welcomes parenting expert, psychoanalyst, and author Erica Komisar to discuss how parents can minimize the emotional toll of divorce on their children. Drawing on more than three decades of clinical experience, Erica shares practical guidance for helping children feel secure, supported, and protected during one of the most significant transitions a family can face. Together, Mardi and Erica explore the importance of emotional regulation, healthy co-parenting, grief, attachment, and why children should never become the messengers or emotional support system for their parents. They also discuss common mistakes parents make during divorce, how to navigate high-conflict situations, and why putting children's needs ahead of fairness can lead to better long-term outcomes. Whether you are considering divorce, currently navigating it, or working to build a healthy co-parenting relationship, this conversation offers valuable insight into protecting your children while supporting your own healing. Our talk focuses on: • Why divorce is traumatic for children and how parents can reduce the impact • The importance of emotional regulation during the divorce process • How unresolved grief and anger can affect parenting decisions • Why children should never be caught in the middle of parental conflict • The dangers of oversharing adult problems with children • How to support your child's grief without burdening them with your own • Why consistency and stability matter during family transitions • The challenges of high-conflict co-parenting situations • What parents should consider before introducing a new romantic partner • The realities of blended families and step-sibling relationships • Why divorce should focus on children's needs rather than fairness between parents About the Guest: Erica Komisar, LCSW, is a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and parenting expert with over 30 years of experience in private practice. She is the author of Being There and Chicken Little: The Sky Isn’t Falling, and her third book on healthy divorce and parenting will be released in 2025. Erica is a regular contributor to The Wall Street Journal, The Institute for Family Studies, and The Dispatch, and has appeared on CBS, Fox News, and The Diary of a CEO podcast. She is the founder of Attachment Circles, serves on the advisory board of ARC (Alliance for Responsible Citizenship), and has spoken at the United Nations on child development and emotional health. She lives in New York City with her husband and three young adult children. To connect with Erica: Website: ericakomisar.com About the Host Mardi Winder is a Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach who helps high-achieving individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in mediation, divorce coaching and conflict resolution, she supports clients in making smart decisions while reducing emotional and financial fallout, particularly in high-conflict, high-asset and complex divorces. Mardi is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC, and the Strategic Divorce Directory, LLC. For Mardi’s gift: The Resilience Building Blueprint: A 28-Day Journey To A Stronger You https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb Connect with Mardi on Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Divorcecoach4women LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mardiwinderadams/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave an Apple Podcast Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

The Essential Identity Shift After Divorce

Divorce is often viewed as an ending, but what if it could become a life-changing, very positive beginning? Today on The D Shift, Mardi Winder sits down with divorce coach Christa Skinner to discuss how divorce can become a powerful catalyst for personal growth, self-discovery, and transformation. Sharing her own experience of navigating an unexpected divorce after more than three decades together, Christa talks about how she turned one of life's most difficult transitions into an opportunity to create a more authentic and fulfilling life. Together, Mardi and Christa explore the emotional challenges many women face during divorce, including the loss of identity, family expectations, self-trust, and the fear of starting over. They also discuss the critical role divorce coaching can play in helping individuals make informed decisions, avoid costly mistakes, and move forward with greater confidence and clarity. Whether you are contemplating divorce, currently navigating the process, or rebuilding your life afterward, this conversation offers hope, encouragement, and practical insight into creating a meaningful next chapter. In this episode we discuss: • What makes divorce coaching different from traditional life coaching • Why many women struggle with identity loss during and after divorce • The impact of family expectations, judgment, and societal pressures • How to rebuild self-trust after a relationship ends • Why healing and self-discovery are essential parts of the divorce journey • How to move from surviving to thriving after divorce About the Guest: Christa Skinner is a certified health, life, and Canadian-trained breakup and divorce coach who guides women through midlife identity shifts and life transitions with clarity, confidence, and grounded strength. After meeting her former husband at twelve, marrying young, and raising three daughters, Christa faced an unexpected divorce following 22 years of marriage — an experience that left her depleted but ultimately became the catalyst for profound reinvention. Determined to provide the support she once searched for, she trained through the Health Coach Institute and under Sara Davison, the world’s leading divorce coach. She is a member of the International Divorce Coach Centre of Excellence (IDCCOE) and continues to deepen her expertise in high-conflict dynamics and collaborative resolution. A co-author of the bestselling book Emotional Alchemy and featured in national media, Christa’s forthcoming Fall 2026 book positions midlife not as breakdown, but as re-anchoring, power, and intentional becoming. To connect with Christa: Website: https://www.christaskinnercoaching.com/ Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/christaskinnerbecoming?igsh=c2FjY3Y0b3JoaWV4&utm_source=qr LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/christa-s-b323b03a5 About the Host Mardi Winder is a Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach who helps high-achieving individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in mediation, divorce coaching and conflict resolution, she supports clients in making smart decisions while reducing emotional and financial fallout, particularly in high-conflict, high-asset and complex divorces. Mardi is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC, and the Strategic Divorce Directory, LLC. For Mardi’s gift: The Resilience Building Blueprint: A 28-Day Journey To A Stronger You https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb Connect with Mardi on Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Divorcecoach4women LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mardiwinderadams/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave an Apple Podcast Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Divorce, Sex, and Starting Over: What Every Woman Needs to Know

Many people assume that intimacy is simply about physical connection, but what happens when emotional distance, unresolved issues, and years of disconnection begin to erode a relationship from the inside out? In this episode of The D Shift, Mardi Winder sits down with sex and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet to discuss one of the most overlooked aspects of relationships. Drawing from her personal experience of spending 26 years in a sexless marriage and her professional work helping couples reconnect, Xanet shares valuable insights about emotional intimacy, communication, self-awareness, and creating healthier relationships after divorce. Whether you are currently in a relationship, considering divorce, or rebuilding your life afterward, this conversation offers practical wisdom for understanding the role intimacy plays in long-term relationship success. This episode highlights: • Why intimacy challenges are more common than most people realize • The emotional impact of living in a disconnected relationship • How unresolved issues can affect future relationships • The connection between communication and intimacy • Rebuilding trust and connection after divorce • Common relationship patterns that follow people into new relationships • Creating healthier and more fulfilling relationships moving forward About the Guest: Xanet Pailet is a nationally recognized Sex and Intimacy Coach, bestselling author and the founder of Passionate Intimacy Retreats. After leaving a 26-year sexless marriage Xanet now helps committed couples who feel stuck, disconnected, or in conflict transform their relationships into ones filled with intimacy, safety, passion, and joy. For Xanet’s book: https://a.co/d/0gYuFzO6 To connect with Xanet: Website: https://www.passionateintimacyretreats.com/ Instagram: @xanetpop LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/xanet-pailet-2b464671/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjgLul94hbzGu3X5-QBxrjg/featured/featured About the Host Mardi Winder is a Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach who helps high-achieving individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in mediation, divorce coaching and conflict resolution, she supports clients in making smart decisions while reducing emotional and financial fallout, particularly in high-conflict, high-asset and complex divorces. Mardi is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC, and the Strategic Divorce Directory, LLC. For Mardi’s gift: The Resilience Building Blueprint: A 28-Day Journey To A Stronger You https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb Connect with Mardi on Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Divorcecoach4women LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mardiwinderadams/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave an Apple Podcast Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

BestInterest: The AI App Helping You Deal With A High-Conflict Co-Parent

One of the greatest challenges after divorce is communication, especially when co-parenting with a high-conflict ex. Every text message, email, or notification can trigger anxiety, frustration, and emotional exhaustion. In this episode of The D Shift, Mardi Winder welcomes Sol Kennedy, founder of BestInterest, an innovative AI-powered co-parenting app designed to reduce conflict and help parents focus on what matters most: their children. After experiencing his own difficult divorce, Sol set out to create a tool that shields parents from toxic communication while preserving the information they actually need to effectively co-parent. The result is a unique platform that is changing the way divorced parents communicate. If you struggle with difficult co-parenting conversations, emotional triggers, or constant conflict, this episode offers practical insights and a glimpse into how technology may help reduce stress during one of life's most challenging transitions. Sol shares: • Why communication becomes so difficult after divorce • The emotional toll of high-conflict co-parenting • How toxic messages impact mental health and decision making • The story behind the creation of the BestInterest app • How AI can help filter conflict and reduce emotional triggers • Protecting your peace while still effectively co-parenting • Why self-love and healing remain essential after divorce About the Guest: Sol Kennedy is a former Google product manager, a devoted dad, and the founder of BestInterest—the AI co-parenting app endorsed by Dr. Ramani. After navigating his own high-conflict divorce, Sol built the tool he wished he’d had: an app that acts as an emotional shield, filtering out toxic messages and leaving only what matters: the kids. WIRED calls BestInterest "life saving" for coparents experiencing conflict. Through his app and his podcast, Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol helps parents set boundaries, reduce daily anxiety, and build a future where they can proudly sit at their child's graduation without a lifetime of resentment. For Sol’s gift: Use when purchasing BestInterest on any app platform: DSHIFT10 - $10 off BestInterest for Coparents To connect with Sol: Website: https://bestinterest.app Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bestinterest.app/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/bestinterestapp/ About the Host Mardi Winder is a Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach who helps high-achieving individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in mediation, divorce coaching and conflict resolution, she supports clients in making smart decisions while reducing emotional and financial fallout, particularly in high-conflict, high-asset and complex divorces. Mardi is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC, and the Strategic Divorce Directory, LLC. For Mardi’s gift: The Resilience Building Blueprint: A 28-Day Journey To A Stronger You https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb Connect with Mardi on Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Divorcecoach4women LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mardiwinderadams/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave an Apple Podcast Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Why Good Relationships Slowly Fall Apart

Most relationships do not end because two people suddenly stop loving each other. More often, relationships slowly become disconnected through repeated misunderstandings, emotional triggers, unresolved resentment, and communication patterns that quietly erode trust over time. In this episode of The D Shift, Mardi Winder welcomes back Nancy Perpall to discuss her new book, The Malnourished Marriage, and the powerful food metaphor she uses to explain what relationships truly need to survive and thrive. After more than three decades as a divorce attorney, Nancy shares why she shifted her focus from helping people end marriages to helping couples better understand how relationships break down in the first place. Drawing from both science and real-world experience, she explains how the early dopamine-driven stage of relationships often blinds people to issues that later become major points of conflict once everyday life takes over. The conversation explores the emotional “nutrients” that relationships require, including communication, trust, compromise, intimacy, laughter, and emotional safety. Nancy explains why communication functions like water in a relationship and how words can either flow or crash depending on how people approach difficult conversations. Together, they also unpack the role childhood core wounds play in adult relationships and why people often unknowingly trigger each other’s deepest insecurities during moments of stress or conflict. Rather than viewing compromise as weakness, Nancy reframes it as compassion and understanding for another person’s perspective. Nancy highlights how: • Early relationship chemistry often masks incompatibilities and unresolved issues • Communication can either create connection or intensify emotional damage, depending on how words are used • Childhood core wounds frequently influence adult relationship dynamics and conflict patterns • Compromise is not weakness but compassion for another person’s perspective • Laughter, playfulness, and emotional intimacy are essential parts of long-term relationship health About the Guest: Nancy Perpall began her professional career as a critical care nurse. Dedicated to instituting better patient outcomes she contributed to a textbook, Advanced Concepts In Clinical Nursing (J.B. Lippincott). However, to get the rural hospital she was working at to accept those protocols she was told that since she was not a doctor, who were the only ones who could change protocols, she should go to law school since "people listen to lawyers". As a nurse-attorney, Nancy has appeared on radio shows, podcasts, and TV and has published extensively. To connect with Nancy: Website: https://nancyperpall.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nancyperpall/ About the Host Mardi Winder is a Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach who helps high-achieving individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in mediation, divorce coaching and conflict resolution, she supports clients in making smart decisions while reducing emotional and financial fallout, particularly in high-conflict, high-asset and complex divorces. Mardi is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC, and the Strategic Divorce Directory, LLC. For Mardi’s gift: The Resilience Building Blueprint: A 28-Day Journey To A Stronger You https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb Connect with Mardi on Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Divorcecoach4women LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mardiwinderadams/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave an Apple Podcast Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.