ADHD Lows: The Gray State, Dopamine Hunting, and How to Tell It From Depression

ADHD Lows: The Gray State, Dopamine Hunting, and How to Tell It From Depression

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young discuss “ADHD lows,” the flat, gray, low-arousal state where nothing feels worth the effort, and how it often leads to “dopamine hunting” like binge-watching, hyperfixating, scrolling, or other novelty-seeking. They connect the experience to anhedonia and “indifferent boredom,” framing it as dopamine dysregulation in ADHD rather than necessarily burnout or depression, and warn that mislabeling it can lead to wrong interventions. They share ways to spot the difference from depression (whether anything can still spark interest and whether the feeling comes and goes), and offer practical responses: name the cycle, lower demands, communicate with your partner, watch for upstream contributors like sleep debt and masking, and seek professional help if it persists or worsens. They emphasize the key distinction between regulating dopamine hunting versus numbing, and remind listeners they aren’t lazy or broken. You can find Shane Thrapp at https://creatingorderfromchaos.com  You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults: Unmasking, “Dropping a Ping,” and Building Friendship-Friendly Routines With Caroline Maguire

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young welcome social coach, award-winning author, and keynote speaker Caroline Maguire, who has worked with neurodivergent people for 21 years and has just released her new book “Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults”. Caroline explains she wrote the book after years of adult clients and parents asking for friendship support, especially amid increased diagnoses since the pandemic, and she highlights common themes from interviews and surveys: masking and people-pleasing, shame, rejection sensitivity, and the need to “find our people” through interests rather than taking any friendship available. We talk about why parent friendships can feel complicated, how to move from acquaintance to friendship using shared interests and why “dropping a ping,” can help small talk provide useful information, and how parents can model healthy communication, boundaries, and friendship infrastructure by including their kids in their journey. Caroline can be found at @authorcarolinem [https://www.instagram.com/authorcarolinem/] on Instagram And check out her new book “Friendship Skills For Neurodivergent Adults [https://www.amazon.com/Friendship-Skills-Neurodivergent-Adults-Distracted/dp/1538773082]” wherever books are sold.

The Cost of Silence: Neurodivergent Men, Masking, and Finding Support

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young discuss the “cost of silence” underlying masking, describing how men are conditioned from childhood to hide struggle, avoid asking for help, and “push through” quietly, which becomes especially damaging when layered with ADHD/autism challenges like executive dysfunction, sensory overwhelm, emotional dysregulation, and rejection sensitivity. Braden shares a story about his son identifying overwhelm at a crowded flea market, highlighting how many men lacked language for their experiences and may go undiagnosed into their late 30s or 40s, often internalizing shame and believing they are lazy or broken. They describe long-term consequences including anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship strain, isolation, burnout, and anger. They emphasize peer community support, spotlight the Men’s ADHD Support Group (about 26,000 members, plus Discord and meetings), and encourage listeners to seek men’s support resources and share the episode. You can find out more information about the Men's ADHD Support Group at https://mensadhdsupportgroup.org [https://mensadhdsupportgroup.org] for join them on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/mensadhdsupportgroup [https://www.facebook.com/groups/mensadhdsupportgroup] You can find Shane Thrapp at https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com  [https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com] You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com [https://empoweradhdsolutions.com]   00:00 Welcome and Setup 00:35 Cost of Silence 01:29 Where Silence Starts 02:01 Neurodivergence and Masking 02:45 Finding the Words 04:37 Hidden Long Term Costs 05:43 Shame Anger Burnout 07:06 Men's ADHD Support Group 08:29 How to Join Safely 09:56 Braden's Community Story 11:32 Feeling Seen Together 12:38 Takeaway and Next Steps

Beyond Mother’s Day: Building Daily Respect and Connection in ADHD Relationships

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young use Mother’s Day as a starting point to talk about how ADHD and AuDHD can make dates, gestures, and follow-through difficult, and why appreciation needs to be a daily practice rather than a once-a-year performance. Shane shares involving his kids, Liam and Harley, in choosing gifts to teach them to notice and value their mom, while both hosts emphasize that small, consistent acts of attention matter more than grand gestures. They explain how dopamine-driven novelty, time blindness, object permanence issues, executive function challenges, and rejection sensitive dysphoria can lead to complacency, missed needs, and defensiveness despite good intentions. They recommend systems like scheduled partner check-ins, reminders, trying new things together, learning love languages, externalizing appreciation, and staying present because kids are watching and learning what love looks like in practice. 00:00 Welcome to DadDHD 00:25 Mother's Day Jump Off 01:33 Teaching Thoughtfulness 02:28 Respect as Practice 03:52 ADHD Brain Science 05:29 Autopilot and Neglect 06:39 Follow Through Problems 07:33 RSD and Defensiveness 08:38 Systems That Work 09:00 Check Ins on Calendar 10:11 Redirect Novelty Together 11:03 Reminders and Externalize 12:41 Small Daily Connection 13:38 Kids Are Watching 14:19 Start Being Intentional 15:20 Wrap Up and Subscribe You can find Shane Thrapp at https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com  You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

Their Story, Not Yours — RSD and the Trap of Making Your Child's Struggles About You

Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions flies solo and unpacks rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and what it looks like when your child is the one experiencing it—especially in a neurodivergent household where a parent’s own ADHD and past rejection can get activated. He explains how perceived rejection can feel like overwhelming emotional pain, and how parents can accidentally shift into fix-it mode, over-advocacy, story-sharing, anger, or minimizing as a way to manage their own discomfort. Braden reframes the goal as empathy without enmeshment: your child’s rejection belongs to them, not as a replay of your childhood. He offers practical steps—do your own work, pause and regulate, ask what they need, let them own their story, and model moving through rejection—so your child gets emotional space and support without carrying your unprocessed pain. You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com