Entry 5 I Didn't Say No

Entry 5 I Didn't Say No

In this entry, I remember the years I was working full-time while attending university, and how quickly responsibility became something I didn’t question. From starting as a receptionist to managing a temp agency, my days — and sometimes nights — were built around making sure everything held together. Early calls, long hours, and being the one people relied on became normal. I didn’t think about what it was costing me. I just kept going. This is the entry where independence starts to feel like identity.

Entry 4 The Good Girl

Entry Four: The Good Girl At thirteen, I was already paying attention to things most kids don’t think about — like money and the quiet stress it can bring into a house. When my school held a raffle for tickets to Lagoon, a theme park hours away, I decided it might be the only way my siblings and I would have something special that summer. This entry remembers the decision I made, the guilt that came with it, and the moment I began carrying responsibility in ways I didn’t fully understand yet.

Entry 3 - The Fields

In this entry, I remember the summer I asked to work in the fields with my aunt. I was between twelve and thirteen years of age and had been hearing my parents argue about money. Without really understanding it, I decided I needed to take care of myself so I wouldn’t be a burden. The work was harder than I expected, but I stayed. This was the summer I began tying independence to endurance.

Entry 2 - The Summers I Stayed Home

In this entry, I remember the summers I spent at home caring for my younger siblings. By the time I was ten, I knew the rhythm of the day and what needed to be handled before anyone asked. I didn’t think of it as responsibility. I thought it was what I was supposed to do. This is where I began learning how to hold things together.

Entry 1 - The Kitchen

In the first entry, I begin in the kitchen I grew up in — a space that was always moving and where I learned, without being told, when to step in and help. It didn’t feel like responsibility then. It felt normal. This is where I first remember becoming useful, and where I started paying attention to what other people needed before they said it. No lessons. Just memory.