#104 The Rope Dominant: Shibari, Power & the Psychology of Surrender with Mark DeViate

#104 The Rope Dominant: Shibari, Power & the Psychology of Surrender with Mark DeViate

Why do some people describe rope as a pathway into trust, presence, and altered states of consciousness? In this episode I sit down with Mark DeViate — Dominant, rope practitioner, polyamorous relationship veteran, and long-time member of the BDSM community, to explore the psychology of surrender, ethical dominance, and the transformative potential of connection-based kink. We explore: * • The psychology of ethical dominance. * • Shibari, rope bondage, and surrender. * • Topspace, flow states, and altered consciousness. * • Performance-based kink vs connection-based kink. * • Long-term polyamory and relationship longevity. Research article: The Biology of BDSM: A Systematic Review [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34876387/] Supporters of The Erotic Realm: * Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here [https://myfirmtech.com/desire]. * Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here [https://splashblanket.com/?rfsn=8971642.8740ff&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8971642.8740ff]. * ProDx Health at home STI testing here [https://prodxhealth.com/products/pro-13-home-collection-kit?variant=42594725298278&_ef_transaction_id=&oid=1&affid=94]. Innovative Sex Tech: * Lioness here [https://lioness.io/desire]. * Kiiroo here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?lp=1&offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere]. * Luxus here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere&url=https://www.kiiroo.com/products/luxus]. * Lovense here [https://www.lovense.com/r/jhgdwz]. Science-backed libido support: * Flow supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=flow10]. * Desire supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/?vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=trio]. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ [https://forms.gle/hK7janYNqmYHegZg6] The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://my-store-107523d.creator-spring.com/listing/new-the-erotic-realm-collectio] Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://psychologyofdesire.com/] to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

#103 The Trauma-Informed Mistress: Healing, Power and Kink with JDominatrix

Can kink help people heal trauma—or is that a dangerous misunderstanding? In this episode I sit down with JDominatrix, a trauma-informed kink educator, Mistress, sadist, and community leader, to explore one of the most debated topics in BDSM: the relationship between trauma, healing, and erotic power. We explore: * Trauma-informed approaches to BDSM * Can kink become part of healing? * Consent, trust, and ethical power exchange * The psychology of Dominance and submission * Running a dungeon and teaching kink * Community, growth, and erotic empowerment Research article: Trauma-Informed Kink Healing [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/385047129_Trauma-Informed_Kink_Healing] Supporters of The Erotic Realm: * Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here [https://myfirmtech.com/desire]. * Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here [https://splashblanket.com/?rfsn=8971642.8740ff&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8971642.8740ff]. * ProDx Health at home STI testing here [https://prodxhealth.com/products/pro-13-home-collection-kit?variant=42594725298278&_ef_transaction_id=&oid=1&affid=94]. Innovative Sex Tech: * Lioness here [https://lioness.io/desire]. * Kiiroo here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?lp=1&offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere]. * Luxus here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere&url=https://www.kiiroo.com/products/luxus]. * Lovense here [https://www.lovense.com/r/jhgdwz]. Science-backed libido support: * Flow supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=flow10]. * Desire supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/?vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=trio]. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ [https://forms.gle/hK7janYNqmYHegZg6] The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://my-store-107523d.creator-spring.com/listing/new-the-erotic-realm-collectio] Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://psychologyofdesire.com/] to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

#102 The Desired Older Woman: Aging, Noetisexuality & Erotic Reawakening with Brookiana

What happens when a woman stops believing the myth that desire belongs only to the young? In this episode I’m joined by Brookiana to explore aging, erotic reinvention, and the psychology of becoming desired again. We explore: * Noetisexuality and attraction to intellect and depth. * Aging, femininity, and erotic reinvention. * Returning to sexuality after abstinence. * Why younger men are drawn to emotionally mature women. * Writing erotica and reclaiming erotic identity later in life. Research article: Sex and the (older) single girl: Experiences of sex and dating in later life. [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S089040651500016X] Supporters of The Erotic Realm: * Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here [https://myfirmtech.com/desire]. * Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here [https://splashblanket.com/?rfsn=8971642.8740ff&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8971642.8740ff]. * ProDx Health at home STI testing here [https://prodxhealth.com/products/pro-13-home-collection-kit?variant=42594725298278&_ef_transaction_id=&oid=1&affid=94]. Innovative Sex Tech: * Lioness here [https://lioness.io/desire]. * Kiiroo here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?lp=1&offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere]. * Luxus here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere&url=https://www.kiiroo.com/products/luxus]. * Lovense here [https://www.lovense.com/r/jhgdwz]. Science-backed libido support: * Flow supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=flow10]. * Desire supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/?vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=trio]. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ [https://forms.gle/hK7janYNqmYHegZg6] The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://my-store-107523d.creator-spring.com/listing/new-the-erotic-realm-collectio] Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://psychologyofdesire.com/] to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

#101 The Ecology of Desire: Queer Eroticism, Nature & Connection with Sketchy

What happens when desire is no longer seen as something personal — but something ecological? In this episode I’m joined by Sketchy to explore the intersection of queer identity, biology, and erotic connection. We unpack the idea of “the ecology of desire” — where attraction, intimacy, and sexuality are not just internal experiences, but relational processes shaped by our connection to the world around us. We explore: * The concept of the ecology of desire. * Queer erotics and nature as inherently diverse. * Biology, symbiosis, and intimacy. * Desire as relational rather than individual. * Kink, identity, and connection beyond the self. Research article: Queer Ecologies: Sex, Nature, Politics, Desire. [https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt16gzhnz] VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here [https://a.cstmapp.com/login/1005481/?vote=319187_774920605]. Thanks for voting! Supporters of The Erotic Realm: * Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here [https://myfirmtech.com/desire]. * Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here [https://splashblanket.com/?rfsn=8971642.8740ff&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8971642.8740ff]. * ProDx Health at home STI testing here [https://prodxhealth.com/products/pro-13-home-collection-kit?variant=42594725298278&_ef_transaction_id=&oid=1&affid=94]. Innovative Sex Tech: * Lioness here [https://lioness.io/desire]. * Kiiroo here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?lp=1&offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere]. * Luxus here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere&url=https://www.kiiroo.com/products/luxus]. * Lovense here [https://www.lovense.com/r/jhgdwz]. Science-backed libido support: * Flow supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=flow10]. * Desire supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/?vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=trio]. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ [https://forms.gle/hK7janYNqmYHegZg6] The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://my-store-107523d.creator-spring.com/listing/new-the-erotic-realm-collectio] Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://psychologyofdesire.com/] to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

#100 The Choice to Be Owned: Slave Psychology with Daniika

What happens when surrender isn’t weakness — but identity? In this episode I’m joined by Daniika — a submissive, masochist, and self-described slave exploring the psychology of power, pain, and total surrender. We explore: * The psychology of masochism and meaning in pain. * What “slave” and “ownership” actually mean in BDSM. * 24/7 power exchange in real life. * Kink, identity, and the idea of orientation. * Neurodivergence, structure, and erotic regulation. Research article: The Kink Orientation Scale: Developing and Validating a Measure of Kink Desire, Practice, and Identity. [https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2024.2387769#abstract] VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here [https://a.cstmapp.com/login/1005481/?vote=319187_774920605]. Thanks for voting! Supporters of The Erotic Realm: * Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here [https://myfirmtech.com/desire]. * Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here [https://splashblanket.com/?rfsn=8971642.8740ff&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8971642.8740ff]. * ProDx Health at home STI testing here [https://prodxhealth.com/products/pro-13-home-collection-kit?variant=42594725298278&_ef_transaction_id=&oid=1&affid=94]. Innovative Sex Tech: * Lioness here [https://lioness.io/desire]. * Kiiroo here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?lp=1&offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere]. * Luxus here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere&url=https://www.kiiroo.com/products/luxus]. * Lovense here [https://www.lovense.com/r/jhgdwz]. Science-backed libido support: * Flow supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=flow10]. * Desire supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/?vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=trio]. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ [https://forms.gle/hK7janYNqmYHegZg6] The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://my-store-107523d.creator-spring.com/listing/new-the-erotic-realm-collectio] Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://psychologyofdesire.com/] to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].