Ep. 116 - Why "Strong" People Struggle in Silence: Men's Mental Health, High-Functioning Anxiety, Intimacy & Healing w/ Todd Malloy, LMFT, CST

Ep. 116 - Why "Strong" People Struggle in Silence: Men's Mental Health, High-Functioning Anxiety, Intimacy & Healing w/ Todd Malloy, LMFT, CST

Why do so many high-functioning people look successful on the outside while silently struggling on the inside? In this powerful episode of The Holistic Counselor Podcast, Diana S. Rice sits down with psychotherapist, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Sex Therapist, former engineer, and former pastor Todd Malloy for a deeply honest conversation about men's mental health, emotional neglect, survival mode, intimacy, trauma responses, burnout, faith, relationships, and what it actually means to heal. Todd shares his own story of growing up in poverty, helping support his family as a teenager, suppressing parts of himself to survive, and eventually realizing that achievement and productivity were not the same thing as emotional health. Together, Diana and Todd unpack: * High-functioning anxiety and emotional exhaustion * Why many "strong" people suffer in silence * Childhood emotional neglect and survival programming * Men's mental health and emotional suppression * Faith, healing, and emotional honesty * Relationship struggles, intimacy, and communication * Why social media is increasing anxiety and disconnection * Emotional fitness and nervous system awareness * The pressure many men feel to provide while neglecting themselves * Trauma responses disguised as resilience * Purity culture, shame, and emotional disconnect * How to stop living from other people's expectations * What true healing and self-reclamation actually look like One of the most impactful themes in this episode is Todd's insight that many adults are not truly living their own lives — they are living out emotional scripts handed to them through family systems, culture, religion, fear, survival, and unresolved pain. Todd also explains: * Why emotional suppression often turns into anger, anxiety, or depression * How survival mode impacts relationships and intimacy * Why many men were taught to "suffer in silence" * How rigidity in faith or identity can block healing * Why emotional safety matters in both therapy and relationships * The importance of learning to identify and communicate emotions honestly This episode also dives into: * Attachment theory * Emotional fitness * Bowen Family Systems concepts * Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) * Communication patterns in relationships * Trauma-informed healing * Self-awareness and nervous system regulation Todd shares practical tools listeners can begin using immediately, including: * The "Five Whys" exercise for uncovering root beliefs * Writing your life story from a third-person perspective * Becoming aware of emotional triggers and body sensations * Learning to pause before reacting emotionally * Asking better internal questions * Building intentional emotional connection in relationships * Reframing success based on authenticity instead of performance If you've ever felt: * emotionally exhausted but still functioning * disconnected from yourself * pressured to always be strong * misunderstood in relationships * spiritually confused * burned out from constantly surviving * afraid to slow down * lonely despite being surrounded by people …this conversation is for you. About Todd Malloy: Todd Malloy is a psychotherapist, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), Certified Sex Therapist (CST), Certified Sexuality Educator, former engineer, and former pastor who helps people move from survival mode into "a life worth celebrating." His work focuses on emotional fitness, intimacy, communication, identity, relationships, and helping people reconnect with themselves in authentic and meaningful ways. Connect with Todd Malloy: Website: ToddMalloy.com [https://toddmalloy.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Counseling Practice: Inner Peace Counseling Center [https://innerpeacecounselingcenter.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Podcast Listener Resource Page: Todd Malloy Podcast Resources [https://toddmalloy.com/podcastdsr/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] LinkedIn: Todd Malloy on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/todd-malloy?utm_source=chatgpt.com] YouTube: Todd Malloy YouTube Channel [https://www.youtube.com/@toddmalloy166] Resources Mentioned: Attachment Theory Overview: Attachment Theory Explained [https://www.simplypsychology.org/attachment.html?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Bowen Family Systems Theory: Bowen Center for the Study of the Family [https://www.thebowencenter.org/introduction-eight-concepts?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy? [https://iceeft.com/what-is-eft/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Asbury Theological Seminary: Asbury Theological Seminary [https://asburyseminary.edu/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Connect with Diana S. Rice: Through the Valley Therapy [https://www.throughthevalleytherapy.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Transformed Mind Consulting & Coaching [https://www.transformedmindcc.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] The Holistic Counselor Podcast [https://pod.link/1732149496?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Support the Podcast + Merch Store: The Holistic Counselor Podcast Merch Store [https://theholisticcounselorpodcast.printful.me/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] If this episode encouraged you, challenged your thinking, or helped you feel less alone, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Reviews help more people discover these conversations around mental health, trauma healing, faith, relationships, emotional wellness, and holistic healing. And if you'd like to support this independent podcast and its mission to break stigma in churches and diverse communities, check out the merch store above. Every share, review, download, and purchase helps continue these important conversations and keeps the podcast growing organically.

Ep. 115 - From Trauma to Prison to Purpose with Ranae Van Roekel | Founder of Connecting to Cope

What is the connection between trauma and incarceration? Can people truly change after prison? And how do you begin healing from trauma, shame, and past mistakes? In this episode of The Holistic Counselor Podcast, Diana S. Rice, LMHC, CIMHP, sits down with Ranae Van Roekel, founder of Connecting to Cope, to explore the intersection of childhood trauma, emotional regulation, mental health, and the criminal justice system. After serving 36 months in federal prison, Ranae shares her personal journey—from unresolved childhood sexual trauma and dissociation to accountability, therapy, and ultimately transforming her life into purpose-driven work helping others heal. This trauma-informed conversation addresses what many people are actively searching for but rarely understand: * The link between trauma and incarceration * How unresolved trauma impacts behavior and coping patterns * The psychological and emotional realities of life inside prison * Rebuilding identity after shame, trauma, and poor choices * Emotional regulation and coping skills for healing * The role of therapy, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) * The importance of accountability, support, and connection in long-term transformation * A trauma-informed perspective on justice and rehabilitation This episode does not excuse harmful behavior. It helps listeners understand the "why" behind behavior so meaningful change can occur. At its core, this conversation reinforces a powerful truth: You are not the sum of your worst moments—and you are not beyond healing. Topics Covered * Trauma and the criminal justice system * Healing after incarceration * Emotional regulation and coping skills * Childhood trauma and dissociation * Rebuilding life after prison * Shame, identity, and personal growth * Trauma-informed care * Faith, accountability, and second chances Memorable Quotes Diana S. Rice, LMHC: "We are not just the sum of our worst moments. And we are not beyond healing." Ranae Van Roekel: "If you're not doing the work and going through it, you're not going to get better." Resources Mentioned Connecting to Cope – Ranae Van Roekel https://connectingtocope.com [https://connectingtocope.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – Overview https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral [https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral] Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) International Association https://www.emdria.org [https://www.emdria.org/] Internal Family Systems (IFS) – Dr. Richard Schwartz https://ifs-institute.com [https://ifs-institute.com/] Pet Partners (Animal-Assisted Therapy Information) https://www.petpartners.org [https://petpartners.org/] Who This Episode Is For This episode is for individuals who are: * Healing from trauma * Navigating shame, regret, or identity struggles * Supporting a loved one impacted by incarceration * Mental health professionals and helping professionals * Seeking a trauma-informed and faith-integrated approach to healing Support the Podcast Each episode of The Holistic Counselor Podcast takes approximately 3 to 5 hours to research, record, produce, and share. If this podcast has encouraged you, helped you grow, or provided value, you can support the work and help keep these conversations going by checking out the merch store: https://theholisticcounselorpodcast.printful.me/ [https://theholisticcounselorpodcast.printful.me/] Your support helps expand these conversations and continue breaking stigma around mental health, trauma, and faith. Or share and leave a review!! Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health, medical, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship with Diana S. Rice, LMHC, CIMHP, or any guests. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact a licensed professional, call 911, or go to your nearest emergency room. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition.

Ep. 114 - OCD, Intrusive Thoughts, and Religious Anxiety: How Exposure Therapy (ERP) Helps Break the Fear Cycle w/ Meghan Cromie

In this episode of The Holistic Counselor Podcast, Diana sits down with Meghan Cromie, LMHC, anxiety specialist and founder of Still Minds Psychology, to explore one of the most misunderstood mental health topics today: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Together, they unpack what intrusive thoughts really are, why they feel so real, and how OCD can quietly take over someone's life—often without them even realizing it. This conversation goes beyond surface-level explanations and dives into: * why people get "stuck" in their thoughts * how anxiety and OCD can look similar—but are not the same * what's actually happening in the brain when fear takes over * and how healing is possible through evidence-based approaches like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) What You'll Learn in This Episode * What OCD really is (and what it is not) * The difference between intrusive thoughts, rumination, and obsession * Why having a disturbing thought does NOT mean you agree with it * How OCD is often misunderstood and misdiagnosed as general anxiety * What compulsions really are (including mental compulsions like overthinking and reassurance seeking) * Why avoidance and "trying to fix the thought" actually make OCD worse * How Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) works to retrain the brain * Why anxiety feels dangerous—but isn't Religious OCD (Scrupulosity) One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is the discussion on scrupulosity (religious OCD)—something many people experience but don't have language for. Meghan explains: * What scrupulosity is and how it shows up * The difference between healthy faith vs fear-driven religion * Why OCD often targets what you value most (including your faith) * How compulsive prayer, perfectionism, and fear of "doing something wrong" can actually be symptoms of OCD * How to recognize when your spiritual life is being driven by anxiety instead of peace How ERP Therapy Helps OCD Meghan breaks down Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) in simple, practical terms: * Facing fear in small, manageable steps * Learning to sit with anxiety without trying to "fix" it * Understanding that compulsions—not thoughts—keep OCD alive * How new learning happens when the brain realizes: "I can feel this and still be okay" Key Insight from This Episode OCD is not about the thought. It's about the meaning we attach to the thought—and the behaviors we use to try to escape it. Resources Mentioned * International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) – Find a trained OCD specialist [https://iocdf.org/find-help/] * ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy [https://www.elft.nhs.uk/sites/default/files/2022-05/exposure-and-response-prevention.pdf] About the Guest Meghan Cromie, MA, LMHC is a licensed therapist, anxiety specialist, and founder of Still Minds Psychology in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She specializes in treating OCD, anxiety disorders, phobias, and trauma using evidence-based approaches, particularly Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). She works with teens and adults both in person and virtually across multiple states, helping clients move beyond cycles of fear and intrusive thoughts toward lasting recovery. Website: https://www.stillmindspsychology.com/ [https://www.stillmindspsychology.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Instagram: @stillmindspsychology Support the Podcast If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who may need it. You can also support The Holistic Counselor Podcast by leaving a review or checking out our merch store here --> https://theholisticcounselorpodcast.printful.me/ [https://theholisticcounselorpodcast.printful.me/] Together, we can continue breaking the stigma around mental health. Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you are struggling, please seek support from a licensed professional in your area.

Ep. 113 - Why You Still Feel Stuck After Therapy: Neurofeedback, Chronic Stress & Trauma with Shale Maulana, MPH, LMSW

Have you ever done therapy, read the books, prayed, journaled… and still felt stuck? Still anxious. Still overwhelmed. Still on edge in your own body. In this powerful episode of The Holistic Counselor Podcast, Diana S. Rice, LMHC, CIMHP, sits down with Shale Maulana, MPH, LMSW, a Brooklyn-based therapist and public health professional, to explore a deeper question many people are quietly asking: Why do I still feel this way even after doing "the work"? This conversation goes beyond surface-level coping skills and gets into what's really happening in the brain and body when healing feels stuck. Together, Diana and Shale break down: * Chronic stress and nervous system dysregulation * Why talk therapy alone is not always enough * How trauma, environment, and lived experiences shape mental health * What liberation-based therapy actually means (in simple terms) * How neurofeedback (brain training) works and why it may help * The impact of ACE scores (Adverse Childhood Experiences) on long-term health * Real-life examples of how culture, environment, and stress affect mental health * Practical tools to calm your nervous system and start healing This episode is honest, real, and deeply educational — without being overwhelming. Two Powerful Quotes from This Episode Diana S. Rice: "We're not here to get political. We're here to get clear." Shale Maulana: "You are not broken. Your nervous system is responding to things. These are adaptations, not failures." What You'll Learn * Why you can understand your patterns but still feel stuck * The difference between chronic stress, trauma, and survival mode * Signs your nervous system may be dysregulated (sleep issues, anxiety, hypervigilance) * How public health connects to mental health and burnout * Why your environment and lived experiences matter in healing * How neurofeedback helps retrain the brain using neuroplasticity * Why healing is not a quick fix — and what actually works long term * Simple, science-based tools you can start using today About Shale Maulana, MPH, LMSW Shale Maulana, MPH, LMSW, is a liberation-based therapist specializing in trauma healing for marginalized communities and high achievers. She integrates neurofeedback, EMDR, somatic therapy, and clinical hypnotherapy to help clients regulate their nervous systems and break free from anxiety, trauma patterns, and chronic stress. With a background in public health research, Shale brings a unique perspective that connects individual mental health struggles with larger patterns like chronic stress, environment, and lived experience. She is based in Brooklyn, New York, and works with clients both locally and online. Resources & Links Connect with Shale Maulana: https://www.shalemaulana.com/ [https://www.shalemaulana.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] https://www.shalemaulana.com/speaking-and-media [https://www.shalemaulana.com/speaking-and-media?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Diana S. Rice & Services: https://www.throughthevalleytherapy.com/ [https://www.throughthevalleytherapy.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] https://www.transformedmindcc.com/ [https://www.transformedmindcc.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Resources: https://www.cdc.gov/aces/about/index.html [https://www.cdc.gov/aces/about/index.html?utm_source=chatgpt.com] https://www.cdc.gov/aces/communication-resources/index.html [https://www.cdc.gov/aces/communication-resources/index.html?utm_source=chatgpt.com] https://www.traumainformedcare.chcs.org/resource/original-ace-questionnaire/ [https://www.traumainformedcare.chcs.org/resource/original-ace-questionnaire/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Free Breathing App (mentioned in episode): https://breathly.app/ [https://breathly.app/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] https://apps.apple.com/us/app/breathly/id1454852966 [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/breathly/id1454852966?utm_source=chatgpt.com] https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.mmazzarolo.breathly [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.mmazzarolo.breathly&utm_source=chatgpt.com] Why This Episode Matters Too many people have been told they are the problem. But what if your anxiety, burnout, or emotional overwhelm is not a failure… …but a nervous system response to chronic stress, trauma, and lived experience? This episode helps you understand: You are not broken. You are responding. And once you understand that — you can begin to heal differently. Support the Podcast If this episode helped you understand yourself better, please: * Share it with someone who needs it * Leave a written review on Apple Podcasts * Follow and subscribe on your favorite platform Your support helps more people find faith-based, science-informed, stigma-breaking mental health conversations. https://theholisticcounselorpodcast.printful.me/ [https://theholisticcounselorpodcast.printful.me/] Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice. Please seek support from a licensed professional for your specific needs. Closing Reminder Trust in the Lord, guard your heart, and renew your mind.

Ep. 112 - From Addiction to Purpose: Recovery, Incarceration, Trauma, and Rebuilding Life w/ Andrew Drasen

Hello there, fearfully and wonderfully made humans. In this powerful episode of The Holistic Counselor Podcast, Diana S. Rice sits down with Andrew Drasen, author of A Vision of Hope, to explore the reality of addiction, recovery, incarceration, trauma, relapse, identity, and second chances. Andrew shares his lived experience with substance use, overdose, jail, prison, repeated treatment attempts, and the long, difficult road toward healing. This is not a polished highlight reel. It is a real conversation about how addiction can hijack the mind, body, and nervous system, why shame keeps people stuck, and why recovery is about far more than just stopping a behavior. Together, Diana and Andrew unpack what people often misunderstand about addiction, how early pain and emotional struggles can shape later substance use, why community and accountability matter, and what it really takes to rebuild a life with purpose after hitting rock bottom. They also discuss gaps in treatment, the difference between punishment and rehabilitation, the role of identity in lasting recovery, and why hope is often the very first step toward change. Whether you are struggling with addiction, love someone who is, work in mental health, serve in ministry, care about justice reform, or simply feel stuck in a painful cycle, this conversation offers honesty, compassion, and hope. What We Cover in This Episode * what addiction feels like from the inside * why addiction is not simply a willpower problem * the connection between trauma, shame, nervous system dysregulation, and substance use * Andrew's progression from marijuana and alcohol to Xanax, Adderall, opioids, and heroin * what repeated treatment and incarceration taught him * why identity is a missing piece in many recovery conversations * how writing became part of his healing process * the story behind A Vision of Hope and his recovery curriculum * why Andrew believes group work and closed-cohort support can be so powerful * what needs to change in systems of treatment, reentry, and rehabilitation * why hope, purpose, and community matter in healing Why This Episode Matters People are actively searching for answers to questions like: * How does addiction start? * Why do people relapse? * Can someone rebuild life after prison or overdose? * What actually helps addiction recovery last? * How do families support a loved one without losing themselves? * What is the difference between punishment and rehabilitation? * Is there hope after years of addiction? This episode speaks directly to those questions with both lived experience and compassionate reflection. Key Takeaways Addiction is all-consuming. Andrew describes addiction as something that can take over the thought process, hijack the nervous system, and become as urgent as basic survival. Compassion matters. He reminds us that people struggling with addiction are not just making random bad choices. Many are hurting deeply, trying to cope, and often feel trapped inside patterns they do not know how to break. Recovery is not just behavior change. One of the biggest themes in this conversation is that recovery is not only about saying no to a substance. It is also about learning who you are becoming and why that life is worth protecting. Identity matters. Andrew shares that one of the missing pieces for him was adopting a new identity and filling the void that addiction once occupied with meaning, purpose, and connection. Hope is the prerequisite to change. If someone cannot imagine a different future, they are far less likely to fight for one. Community matters. Healing often happens in safe, honest, connected spaces where people are seen, challenged, encouraged, and supported. About Andrew Drasen Andrew Drasen is the author of A Vision of Hope, a memoir trilogy rooted in lived experience with addiction, incarceration, and intentional living. His work focuses on resilience, accountability, and community rebuilding through narrative and reflective practice. He is the creator of: * A Vision of Hope: A Story of Redemption and Purpose * A Vision of Hope: Reflections * A Vision of Hope: The Workbook Andrew speaks on the intersection of personal transformation, systemic experience, recovery, and purposeful growth. His goal is to help individuals, communities, and systems better understand what real change can look like. Connect with Andrew Drasen Website: https://avisionofhopebook.com [https://avisionofhopebook.com/] Facebook: https://facebook.com/drewwithad [https://facebook.com/drewwithad] LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/andrewdrasen [https://linkedin.com/in/andrewdrasen] Instagram: https://instagram.com/andrewdrasen [https://instagram.com/andrewdrasen] X: https://x.com/andrewdrasen [https://x.com/andrewdrasen] Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/58297825.Andrew_Drasen [https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/58297825.Andrew_Drasen] Resources Mentioned A Vision of Hope trilogy by Andrew Drasen * A Vision of Hope: A Story of Redemption and Purpose * A Vision of Hope: Reflections * A Vision of Hope: The Workbook Find mental health or substance use treatment SAMHSA's FindTreatment.gov [http://findtreatment.gov/] is a confidential, anonymous treatment locator for mental health and substance use services in the United States. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988 for immediate support during a mental health, emotional, or substance use crisis. SAMHSA [https://drugfree.org/drug-and-alcohol-news/samhsa-announces-first-national-family-support-technical-assistance-center/?utm_term=&utm_campaign=PTEA_PMAX&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&hsa_acc=4449235478&hsa_cam=23276488203&hsa_grp=&hsa_ad=&hsa_src=x&hsa_tgt=&hsa_kw=&hsa_mt=&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_ver=3&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23276492829&gbraid=0AAAAAD_EJxWX8ApFAk_HJk2GS2XW_zyEn&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9-PNBhDfARIsABHN6-1sxg1L3pV4_jD0D7Oupjx-Boaf5sOsaZFE_EQvi8YCE7RxP8NL-U0aAvUIEALw_wcB]states that 988 offers 24/7 access to trained crisis counselors by call, text, and chat. Naloxone / Narcan Naloxone is a medicine that can rapidly reverse an opioid overdose. NIDA [https://nida.nih.gov/] explains that it works by attaching to opioid receptors and reversing the effects of an overdose. Why treatment during incarceration matters An NIH-supported 2025 study found that providing medication treatment for opioid use disorder in jail was associated with lower overdose risk, lower death risk, and lower reincarceration after release. Support for loved ones Andrew mentions the importance of support for family members too, including groups like Al-Anon [https://al-anon.org/]. For broader behavioral health help, SAMHSA also offers national support and treatment resources. Andrew Drasen Quotes * "Addiction is all-consuming." * "It hijacks your body, mind, and soul." * "No one wants to be addicted." * "At the end, like, I didn't get high anymore, it just made me feel okay." * "If you're relying on any kind of substance or anything external for you to feel okay inside, it's temporary." * "Change is possible. You just have to believe it." * "That's, like, the prerequisite to change, in my opinion. If you don't have hope that your circumstance can improve, you're not gonna put the effort forth to change the circumstance." * "We need to stop punishing drug users, because it's a public health issue." * "Our policy should keep people alive long enough to get help." * "I don't even identify as an addict anymore." Diana S. Rice Quotes * "Addiction is not just about substances. It's about pain. It's about patterns. It's about the brain, the body, trauma, and survival." * "Healing is not just about stopping a behavior. It's about rebuilding identity, learning accountability, and finding purpose again." * "We're meant to be in community." * "Do not give up on yourself." * "Understand that you have a purpose, and there's forgiveness." Who This Episode Is For This episode is for: * people struggling with addiction * people in recovery * loved ones trying to understand addiction * therapists and mental health professionals * pastors, coaches, and ministry leaders * reentry and justice reform advocates * anyone trying to break unhealthy cycles and build a better life Support the Show If this episode encouraged you, please share it with someone who needs hope today, leave a review, and support The Holistic Counselor Podcast by checking out Diana's resources, offerings, and merch through https://theholisticcounselorpodcast.printful.me/ [https://theholisticcounselorpodcast.printful.me/] Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, psychiatric care, addiction treatment, or legal advice. If you or someone you love is in immediate crisis, call or text 988 right now for 24/7 crisis support. If you suspect an opioid overdose, call emergency services immediately and administer naloxone if available.