Ep. 35: It’s Not a Capability Problem, It’s a Capacity Problem

Ep. 35: It’s Not a Capability Problem, It’s a Capacity Problem

You’re not incapable. You never were. The question was never whether you could do it — you’ve already proven that. The question is whether your nervous system can safely hold it. Today’s episode is about the difference between capability and capacity — and why one of them has been quietly running the show.  This episode reframes one of the biggest lies high-capacity women believe: “I’m not capable enough.” When in reality…most women are wildly capable. They’ve already proven that. The real issue is capacity. Can your nervous system safely hold: * rest? * love? * visibility? * money? * support? * peace? * expansion? * success without self-destruction? Because capability gets you there. Capacity determines whether you can stay there. This episode explores the difference between performing and holding, and asks a deeper question: What if everything you’ve been through wasn’t punishment… but preparation? Not in a toxic “everything happens for a reason” way. But in a: “What if life has been slowly stretching your nervous system to hold what’s already yours?” Follow along, tune in, and let’s get into your next mindset shift! It means the world to us if you would rate, like, save, share, and most importantly hit that subscribe button! And if something you heard today hit home for you, share it with your world. There is plenty of room at our table. She looks like she has it together. But inside, she’s tired of being the strong one. Request A Remix! If you’re stuck or in a situation you want a new lens on, submit your dilemma anonymously below for a mindset remix from us on a future podcast episode! [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/form/Wv3Q0a53AuzjoNDgLvxV] Follow us on IG: @thatgirlmagic.co - @i.am.crystal.clear - @coachlaken www.thatgirlmagic.co [http://www.thatgirlmagic.co/]  Ways to work with us: Book With Crystal [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/crystal-connectioncall] - Book With Laken  [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/laken-connectioncall]

Ep. 34: Hungry For Something That Keeps Leaving You Empty

Every time you leave the interaction you feel confused. Anxious. Emotionally underfed. And somehow you keep calling it patience. This episode is about the hunger you’ve been calling love — and what it actually costs you to stay. This episode explores the painful space where women stay emotionally attached to people, situations, relationships, dynamics, careers, or versions of themselves that consistently leave them emotionally underfed. Not because they’re weak. Not because they’re “too much.” But because somewhere along the way, they learned to confuse: * waiting with loyalty, * emotional hunger with chemistry, * inconsistency with depth, * and self-abandonment with love. This episode asks the hard question: Why are you emotionally invested in something that keeps requiring you to betray yourself to stay connected to it? We hope after listening today these takeaways provide you a safe place to land in understanding that:  You cannot analyze the doorway forever. At some point the question isn’t what it means. The question is whether you’re walking through it. The absence of anxiety isn’t the absence of connection. It’s the presence of safety. And your nervous system hasn’t learned to read safety as love yet. But it can. You stop chasing the possibility when you finally believe you deserve nourishment now. Follow along, tune in, and let’s get into your next mindset shift! It means the world to us if you would rate, like, save, share, and most importantly hit that subscribe button! And if something you heard today hit home for you, share it with your world. There is plenty of room at our table. She looks like she has it together. But inside, she’s tired of being the strong one. Request A Remix! If you’re stuck or in a situation you want a new lens on, submit your dilemma anonymously below for a mindset remix from us on a future podcast episode! [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/form/Wv3Q0a53AuzjoNDgLvxV] Follow us on IG: @thatgirlmagic.co - @i.am.crystal.clear - @coachlaken www.thatgirlmagic.co [http://www.thatgirlmagic.co/]  Ways to work with us: Book With Crystal [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/crystal-connectioncall] - Book With Laken  [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/laken-connectioncall]

Ep. 33: Easygoing or Erasing Yourself

You didn’t lose yourself all at once. It was the opinion you didn’t share. The feeling you swallowed. The limit you moved. The need you convinced yourself wasn’t that important. One trade at a time, until you looked up and couldn’t find yourself anymore. This episode names the pattern nobody wants to claim: not the dramatic loss of self, but the quiet, incremental erasure that happens in the name of being low-maintenance, keeping the peace, not rocking the boat.  The woman listening knows this pattern intimately because she’s lived it. She just hasn’t had it named this precisely.  Self-abandonment in relationships is not weakness. It’s a strategy — one that was learned, one that once worked, and one that is now costing her the relationships she actually wants.  The episode holds two things simultaneously: accountability without self-destruction. You played a role in this. And you are not to blame for the wounds that taught you to play it. Both are true.  We hope today after listening you feel seen in the specific, quiet way you’ve been disappearing, and clear about what the first step back to yourself actually looks like. Follow along, tune in, and let’s get into your next mindset shift! It means the world to us if you would rate, like, save, share, and most importantly hit that subscribe button! And if something you heard today hit home for you, share it with your world. There is plenty of room at our table. She looks like she has it together. But inside, she’s tired of being the strong one. Request A Remix! If you’re stuck or in a situation you want a new lens on, submit your dilemma anonymously below for a mindset remix from us on a future podcast episode! [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/form/Wv3Q0a53AuzjoNDgLvxV] Follow us on IG: @thatgirlmagic.co - @i.am.crystal.clear - @coachlaken www.thatgirlmagic.co [http://www.thatgirlmagic.co/]  Ways to work with us: Book With Crystal [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/crystal-connectioncall] - Book With Laken  [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/laken-connectioncall]

Ep. 32: When You Stop Living Inside the Wound

This episode explores the shift that happens when your healing is no longer something you silently survive… but something you can speak about without collapsing inside of it. Not because the story didn’t hurt. Not because it didn’t shape you. But because it no longer owns you. This is the moment many women misunderstand in healing: You don’t stop talking about the story because you’ve healed. Sometimes… you know you’re healing because you can finally talk about it. Without shame. Without defending it. Without needing someone to rescue you from it. The wound stops being the loop. And becomes the lesson. This episode can feel like: * sitting on the couch with your best friend * finally exhaling after years of carrying something * realizing your story doesn’t make you “too much” * understanding the difference between living inside the wound vs speaking from the scar We hope after listening today these takeaways provide you a safe place to land with understanding that:  Healing is not pretending the story never happened. Healing is not silence. Silence is suppression with better PR. There’s a difference between reliving and reflecting – Repetition keeps you in the loop. Reflection creates meaning and distance.  Integration is not erasure. Integration happens when the nervous system no longer treats the story like immediate danger. You do not need to erase your past to grow beyond it.  The story becomes part of you without being the center of you. Clinging to the wound is usually about not having built identity on the other side yet.  Pain becomes medicine the moment your story helps someone else feel less alone. Your story is allowed to evolve from identity → wisdom → connection Follow along, tune in, and let’s get into your next mindset shift! It means the world to us if you would rate, like, save, share, and most importantly hit that subscribe button! And if something you heard today hit home for you, share it with your world. There is plenty of room at our table. She looks like she has it together. But inside, she’s tired of being the strong one. Request A Remix! If you’re stuck or in a situation you want a new lens on, submit your dilemma anonymously below for a mindset remix from us on a future podcast episode! [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/form/Wv3Q0a53AuzjoNDgLvxV] Follow us on IG: @thatgirlmagic.co - @i.am.crystal.clear - @coachlaken www.thatgirlmagic.co [http://www.thatgirlmagic.co/]  Ways to work with us: Book With Crystal [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/crystal-connectioncall] - Book With Laken  [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/laken-connectioncall]

Ep. 31: Why You Go Silent When It Matters Most

This episode names one of the most misunderstood and most shamed experiences in the boundaries conversation: the freeze response. The moment you know exactly what you need to say, you’ve rehearsed it, you believe it — and when the moment arrives, your body goes somewhere else entirely.  You go quiet. You go flat. You agree when you meant to hold the line. And then you spend the next three days hating yourself for it.  This episode’s central argument is that the freeze is not a failure of courage, character, or communication skill. It is a nervous system response — a protective mechanism doing exactly what it was trained to do.  Your nervous system isn’t responding to what’s happening right now. It’s responding to what it learned to expect. Those are two completely different things. Understanding that distinction doesn’t excuse the pattern.  It makes the pattern changeable.  You cannot think your way to a different nervous system response. You have to experience your way there. The body learns through evidence, not insight. The goal isn’t to never freeze. It’s to shrink the gap between the freeze and the recovery.  That gap is trainable. We hope today after listening you feel like the freeze finally makes sense — and like there is an actual path out that doesn’t require forcing yourself through it. Follow along, tune in, and let’s get into your next mindset shift! It means the world to us if you would rate, like, save, share, and most importantly hit that subscribe button! And if something you heard today hit home for you, share it with your world. There is plenty of room at our table. She looks like she has it together. But inside, she’s tired of being the strong one. Request A Remix! If you’re stuck or in a situation you want a new lens on, submit your dilemma anonymously below for a mindset remix from us on a future podcast episode! [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/form/Wv3Q0a53AuzjoNDgLvxV] Follow us on IG: @thatgirlmagic.co - @i.am.crystal.clear - @coachlaken www.thatgirlmagic.co [http://www.thatgirlmagic.co/]  Ways to work with us: Book With Crystal [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/crystal-connectioncall] - Book With Laken  [https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/laken-connectioncall]