Gary Vee: Forgiveness, Fear, and the $540 Million Mistake (Replay)

Gary Vee: Forgiveness, Fear, and the $540 Million Mistake (Replay)

In this re-release of one of our favorite episodes, Gary Vaynerchuk opens up to Maryam about fear, self-esteem, forgiveness, AI, leadership, and what he believes is a growing crisis of “late adulthood.” Gary shares why so many professionals feel stuck — not because of burnout, but because of insecurity and unresolved resentment. He breaks down his philosophy on kind candor vs. radical candor, why fear is the real career killer, and how over-coddling may be delaying independence for an entire generation. From parenting teenagers to leading thousands of employees, Gary explains why self-worth is the operating system behind success — and why forgiveness (especially of yourself) might be the most underrated personal development tool of all. If you’ve ever felt behind, afraid to pivot, or unsure of your next move in the age of AI, this episode is for you. Key Moments 00:00 — Forgiveness Is the Answer We’re Avoiding ❤️‍🩹 Gary opens with a bold claim: most people are emotionally “clogged” because they’re holding resentment. He explains why forgiveness — especially forgiving yourself — may be the most underrated growth tool. 02:46 — “Nice Guys Finish First” 🏆 Gary unpacks the tension between competitiveness and kindness — and why he believes you can be fierce in business without losing your humanity. 05:17 — The Late Adulthood Crisis 🚨 Are we raising adults who aren’t ready to be adults? Gary shares his controversial take on over-coddling, privilege, and why independence matters more than ever. 08:52 — Why He Doesn’t Fear AI (And You Shouldn’t Either) 🤖 Using historical pattern recognition, Gary explains why AI is just the next evolution — not the apocalypse. 14:18 — The Self-Esteem Conversation Nobody Wants to Have 🧠 Gary breaks it down: almost everything — career fear, content paralysis, insecurity — comes back to self-worth. 15:33 — The Rejection He Was Actually Afraid Of 💔 Despite fearless business moves, Gary admits he was afraid to ask girls out in high school. A revealing look at how fear shows up in unexpected places. 18:38 — Kind Candor vs. Radical Candor 🎯 Gary shares his leadership “kryptonite” — struggling with candor — and why he now believes honest feedback must come with kindness. 28:57 — Walking Away From the Family Business 🏪 After building his dad’s liquor store into a $65M company, Gary explains why leaving wasn’t guilt — it was growth. 31:14 — Maximizing Joy vs. Maximizing Money 🔥 Why Gary doesn’t optimize for profit alone — and how curiosity drives his many ventures. 33:35 — Call Your Mom. Forgive Yourself. 📞 One of the most emotional moments of the episode. Gary urges listeners to make the call — to forgive others or themselves. 43:53 — At What Age Do You Stop Blaming Your Parents? 🧨 Gary poses a provocative question: when do you fully own your life? A raw discussion about responsibility and adulthood. 47:46 — The Jets Jersey Story 🧵💚 Gary shares the powerful story of his mom knitting him a Jets jersey when they couldn’t afford one — and how that shaped his confidence forever. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2463801/fan_mail/new] Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com [hello@themessypartspodcast.com] To stay up to date with The Messy Parts [https://themessypartspodcast.com/] and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/themessypartspodcast/], LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryambanikarim/], YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMessyParts]. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-messy-parts/id1804155142] or Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/3rMFKKEzK8fgKBwBPqP4HI?si=899c6a4d61ba41e5] or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

"My Parents Would Have Rather I Been a Prostitute.” How Ayesha Nurdjaja Became a Celebrity Chef & Built NYC’s Hottest Restaurants

What happens when you walk away from the career everyone expected you to have? Chef Ayesha Nurdjaja was on a path toward law school, working at a prestigious law firm and doing everything “right.” But something was missing. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Ayesha shares with Maryam how she left a promising legal career to pursue cooking, even when her parents stopped speaking to her and everyone around her thought she was making a huge mistake. She opens up about growing up in Brooklyn, discovering her passion for food later in life, working brutal restaurant hours for almost no money, and refusing to accept “no” as an answer. Ayesha also reveals the surprising story behind the creation of Shuka and Shukette, and how one bold decision changed the course of her career. 🎙️Subscribe to The Messy Parts and never miss a story worth telling. 00:00 - The Lie That Launched Her Career 🚪 Ayesha tells the unbelievable story of sneaking her way into Lidia Bastianich’s legendary restaurant kitchen after being repeatedly told no, and how that gamble changed her life forever. 03:40 - Growing Up Between Two Worlds 🌎 Ayesha reflects on her Brooklyn childhood, her Italian and Indonesian roots, and how family, culture, and belonging shaped who she became. 07:26 - When Religion Tore Her Family Apart 💔 She opens up about her parents’ divorce, the cultural and religious tensions behind it, and the lasting impact it had on her life. 11:06 - The Career Everyone Wanted for Her 🎓 From pharmacy school to business school to a law firm job, Ayesha shares the path her parents hoped she’d follow, and why it never felt right. 16:24 - The Bucket List That Changed Everything ✍️ A train ride, a list of passions, and a moment of honesty helped Ayesha realize she was chasing the wrong dream. 18:26 - Diamonds, DJing & Finding Her Calling 💎 Before becoming a chef, Ayesha seriously considered careers in music and diamonds—and explains how cooking unexpectedly won. 20:21 - The First Dish That Sparked Something Special 🍅 A simple risotto-stuffed tomato became the moment Ayesha discovered the joy of creating food with her own hands. 21:26 - The Day Her Parents Stopped Speaking to Her 📵 After quitting a stable legal career to work in kitchens for almost no money, Ayesha faced the toughest rejection of all — from her own family, who struggled to understand her radical pivot. 25:37 - Why She Never Quit the Kitchen 🔥 Ayesha explains the relentless drive that pushed her through 16-hour days, exhausting labor, and years of sacrifice. 39:33 - The New Year's Eve Party That Created Shuka 🎉 What started as a risky, Moroccan-inspired dinner party became the spark that led to one of New York City's most beloved restaurants. 41:22 - Betting on Yourself Every Time 🎲 Ayesha reflects on risk-taking, resilience, and why she's always been willing to go all-in on the things she truly believes in. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2463801/fan_mail/new] Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com [hello@themessypartspodcast.com] To stay up to date with The Messy Parts [https://themessypartspodcast.com/] and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/themessypartspodcast/], LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryambanikarim/], YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMessyParts]. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-messy-parts/id1804155142] or Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/3rMFKKEzK8fgKBwBPqP4HI?si=899c6a4d61ba41e5] or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

She Kept Hearing "No." At 60, Sari Botton Finally Found Her Audience.

"No just means not right now." That's the philosophy that kept writer and Oldster founder Sari Botton going through decades of rejection before building one of Substack's most beloved magazines — at age 60. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Sari gets honest with Maryam about the messy middle: the identity searching, the failed attempts, the mean girls that never quite went away, and the moment she finally stopped contorting herself to fit someone else's story. She also shares the writing strategies that got her through a book deal she almost abandoned, and why she thinks the busier you are, the better you write. If you're a writer, a late bloomer, or just someone still figuring it out — this conversation is for you.  🎙️Subscribe to The Messy Parts and never miss a story worth telling. Key Moments 00:00 - "No Just Means Not Right Now" 💪  Sari opens with the mantra that kept her going through decades of rejection, and explains why she refuses to take no for a final answer. 00:53 - Meet Sari Botton 📖  Maryam introduces the writer, publisher, and Oldster founder whose New York Times feature sent her Substack into the stratosphere. 03:35 - The Hustler's Origin Story 👊 Sari traces her work ethic back to her parents, and how watching them juggle everything shaped who she became. 06:28 - The Creative Weirdo Who Never Fit the Mold 🎭 Sari reflects on growing up as a dreamy, performing kid who started writing plays at seven. 08:02 - "Since My Late Forties, I've Been Becoming Who I Really Am" ✨  Sari gets candid about the long road to self-certainty, and why it took decades of peeling away inauthentic layers to finally arrive at herself. 10:58 - The Secret She Was Keeping From Herself 🤫  Sari reveals she never actually wanted children — and the surprising relief she felt when a medical diagnosis made the decision for her. 13:02 - Mean Girls Never Really Go Away 😤  Maryam and Sari dig into the culture of indirect honesty, female friendship, and why being direct is still so hard — even at 60. 21:35 - "The Most Sustainable Situation I've Ever Had" 🙌 Sari reflects on arriving — finally — at a creative life that actually pays, and what it means to build something that works on your own terms. 23:32 - Trusting Your Instincts When Everyone Says No 🔥  Editors and agents said her anthology ideas would never sell — but Sari she did them anyway. Now she has 85,000 Oldster subscribers and counting. 26:24 - On Finding Success Later in Life 🌟  Sari gets emotional about what it means to finally be living proof that good things can happen at any age. 29:42 - The Memoir She Almost Abandoned 📝  Sari opens up about her 3am anxiety spirals while writing her memoir, the Pomodoro method that saved her, and why the first draft just needs to exist. 35:07 - Rapid Fire: Messy Moments, Confidence Crises & Walk-On Songs 🎤  Sari's messiest moment, her advice for anyone in a confidence crisis, and the song that gave her the courage to write her memoir. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2463801/fan_mail/new] Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com [hello@themessypartspodcast.com] To stay up to date with The Messy Parts [https://themessypartspodcast.com/] and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/themessypartspodcast/], LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryambanikarim/], YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMessyParts]. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-messy-parts/id1804155142] or Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/3rMFKKEzK8fgKBwBPqP4HI?si=899c6a4d61ba41e5] or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

Bonnie Hammer Gave Her Boss the Finger. It Changed Her Career.

Bonnie Hammer ran 10 networks and two studios at NBCUniversal — but her career didn't start in a corner office. It started cleaning up dog poop on a kids' TV set. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Bonnie gets radically honest with Maryam about the moments that actually shaped her career: being passed over for the top job at NBC, negotiating her way into her own studio, saying yes to WWE when every instinct said no, and building one of the most collaborative cultures in a notoriously cutthroat industry. Plus: Bonnie’s honest take on ageism in media, AI's impact on the entertainment industry, and what she'd tell her younger self today. If you've ever been told no, hit a wall, or wondered whether kindness is actually a liability in business — this one's for you. 🎙️Subscribe for more conversations with leaders who tell the truth about how they really got there. Key Moments: 00:00 - The NBC Betrayal 😤  Bonnie reveals she was promised the top job at NBC by Jeff Zucker — and then watched it go to someone with a fraction of her experience. 00:56 - Meet Bonnie Hammer 🎬  Maryam introduces the legendary NBCUniversal Vice Chair who ran 10 networks and two studios — and never played the power game. 06:24 - Queens Girl, Russian Roots 🏙️  Bonnie traces her resilience and optimism back to her immigrant father, whose philosophy was simple: if you can't do it, you're not trying hard enough. 07:10 - Dog Poop and Destiny 🐾  How a freelance photography gig on a kids' show — and cleaning up after an untrained sheepdog — set Bonnie on the path to a television empire. 11:00 - The Problem Solver Mindset 🕵️‍♀️  Bonnie explains why she never sees walls — only cracks — and how she used photography to break into a circle of moms who wouldn't give her the time of day. 14:50 - Never Take No for an Answer 🚪  The remarkable story of how Bonnie talked her way into graduate school after missing the deadline — and the lesson about honesty and vulnerability that still drives her today. 17:03 - The Rollercoaster Dare 🎢  At an NBC Universal executive retreat in Orlando, Bonnie takes a dare and rides a rollercoaster — and realizes she's the only woman who showed up. 24:22 - "I Gave My Boss the Finger" 🤼  Bonnie's unfiltered reaction when she was asked to take on WWE — and how one of the most unexpected assignments of her career became one of her favorites. 29:56 - Zucker Lied. She Negotiated Anyway. 💰  The inside story of how Bonnie turned the worst professional betrayal of her career into her own studio, and nearly doubled her salary. 37:07 - Not Retired. Rewired. 🔄  Bonnie gets honest about leaving NBCUniversal — it wasn't entirely her choice — and why she wishes she'd stepped off the corporate ladder a decade earlier to build something of her own. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2463801/fan_mail/new] Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com [hello@themessypartspodcast.com] To stay up to date with The Messy Parts [https://themessypartspodcast.com/] and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/themessypartspodcast/], LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryambanikarim/], YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMessyParts]. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-messy-parts/id1804155142] or Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/3rMFKKEzK8fgKBwBPqP4HI?si=899c6a4d61ba41e5] or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

Ed Sheeran, Pizza Rat & Getting Hacked: Rick McGuire on Running Subway Creatures and Loving New York

What does it take to build one of New York City's most recognizable social media brands — from scratch, in secret, while working a day job? Subway Creatures founder Rick McGuire tells Maryam the whole story: from working at VH1 and MTV while quietly building Subway Creatures on the side to Pizza Rat, Ed Sheeran, and a very public account hack that brought him to tears and nearly took everything. Rick gets honest about the chaos of entrepreneurship, learning to value your own work, and why New York City's subway is the greatest content machine on earth. If you're building something from nothing, this one's for you. 🎙️ Loved this episode? Subscribe to The Messy Parts on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts — and leave us a review so more people can find us. Key Moments:  00:00 - The Hack That Almost Broke Everything 😱  Rick opens the episode with a gut-punch — someone took over his Subway Creatures account for months, and it was the first time he'd cried in years. 00:24 - Meet Rick McGuire 🗽  Host Maryam Banikarim introduces the man behind Subway Creatures, What Is New York, and some of NYC's most-followed social media accounts. 01:52 - How Subway Creatures Was Born 📱  Rick shares how a daily commute from New Jersey and a desire to stop annoying his friends turned into one of Instagram's most iconic accounts. 05:15 - Why the Subway is the World's Greatest Melting Pot 🚇  Rick and Maryam geek out over what makes the NYC subway so special — and why forcing millions of people underground together creates pure magic. 09:33 - From VH1 Intern to MTV Producer 🎬  Rick walks through his decade in television, the grunt work that made him grittier, and the unsustainable realities of the production world. 11:21 - The Secret Side Hustle 🤫 Rick reveals how he built Subway Creatures in the shadows while working full-time, terrified his employer would find out and wondering who actually owned what he was creating. 13:02 - The Netflix Moment  💸  Rick's first big brand deal was with Netflix for Arrested Development, and he'll be the first to tell you he grossly undercharged them. 23:14 - Ed Sheeran & the Subway Performance Nobody Saw Coming 🎸  Rick tells the story behind one of the most viral subway moments ever — and how a seasoned subway performer had no idea what was about to happen. 26:09 - The Moment Rick's Dad Finally Got It 🙌  A CBS news meeting, a phone pulled out mid-briefing, and one very shocked father — the moment the Subway Creatures curtain got pulled back for Rick's family. 37:18 - Pizza Rat Was a Stunt — and Rick Has Receipts 🐀🍕  Rick drops the bombshell that the video that put Subway Creatures on the map was an elaborate publicity stunt by a mysterious, Banksy-like figure with trained rats. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2463801/fan_mail/new] Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com [hello@themessypartspodcast.com] To stay up to date with The Messy Parts [https://themessypartspodcast.com/] and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/themessypartspodcast/], LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryambanikarim/], YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMessyParts]. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-messy-parts/id1804155142] or Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/3rMFKKEzK8fgKBwBPqP4HI?si=899c6a4d61ba41e5] or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.