MOMFESSIONS: Why Youth Sports Are Out of Control (And We’re Part of the Problem)

MOMFESSIONS: Why Youth Sports Are Out of Control (And We’re Part of the Problem)

Youth sports are out of control. And the worst part? We might be part of the problem. Spoiler alert: I know I am. I’m the mom with a packed sports calendar, a trunk full of Chick-fil-A, and a competitive streak that sometimes gets the best of me. Guilty as charged. I’m also a coach's wife, so this topic hits close to home.  We’re closing out Momfessions, our month-long series where we’ve said the quiet parts of parenting out loud. And for our final confession, I’m joined once again by my teammate at CARRY Media, Kristen White, a mom of three boys. This week: Why youth sports are out of control—and why we might be part of the problem. Kids are specializing younger. Parents are spending more money than ever. And somewhere along the way, sports stopped being about kids having fun and started feeling like a full-time job for the whole family. Here’s the wild part: When kids were asked what makes sports fun, winning ranked 48th. They cared more about playing with friends, getting better, feeling supported, and having fun. So maybe the question isn’t, “How far can my child go in sports?” Maybe it’s, “What do I want sports to teach my child?” This one might ruffle a few feathers (or cleats 😉). But as always with Momfessions... we’re willing to look in the mirror. Let’s Talk About It.  Listen in to learn more:  * [0:00:00] Youth Sports Are Out of Control * [0:05:15] Kids Quit Because It’s Not Fun * [0:06:40] Early Specialization and Burnout * [0:09:06] Parents’ Behavior Driving Pressure * [0:10:53] Winning Matters Less to Kids * [0:13:25] The Scholarship and Pro Fantasy * [0:16:20] Chasing Travel Ball and Private Coaches * [0:17:56] Parent Ego and Living Through Kids * [0:18:32] Remembering the Real Purpose of Sports * [0:19:40] Power of Great Coaches and Other Adults * [0:20:35] You Either Win or Learn * [0:22:07] Core Question: What Should Sports Teach Our Kids? In this episode, we are digging into youth sports culture, the benefits and costs of youth sports, why kids want to play sports versus why parents want them to play, the odds of playing college sports or becoming a professional athlete, the importance of great coaches and trusted mentors in the lives of kids and teens, and how to keep the focus on the value of youth sports and why kids play in the first place. Resources Connect with Paula on Instagram  [https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en] Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!!  [https://paulafarisofficial.substack.com/] THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter  is on Substack!!  [https://officialcarrymedia.substack.com/] Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All [https://amzn.to/4e80WyF] Download the Savor Your Summer Guide HERE [https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6a0290eee8af687e0799c64e/t/6a0d1c6a9732d7076d9c61de/1779244138649/CARRY+Media+-+Savor+Summer.pdf] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

MOMFESSIONS: Why Our Sons Might Expect Too Much From Women

We’re back with a Momfessions confession that might hit close to home: are we accidentally raising sons who expect too much from women?  I’m joined by my teammate at CARRY Media, Kristen White, a mom of three boys, for a candid conversation about the messages our sons absorb about work, caregiving, and what they should expect from a future partner. Oof. We’re going there. Between the two of us, we’re raising five boys, and this conversation has been brewing in my mind for years: Are we raising sons who expect a partner…or a parent? And listen, this was an uncomfortable conversation for us. It made us examine our own habits, our own assumptions, and the messages we may be sending without even realizing it. But uncomfortable conversations are often the ones we most need to have. Before you come for us, this is NOT a working-mom-VS-stay-at-home-mom debate. It’s something much deeper. What are our sons learning about women from watching us? Are they learning that caregiving belongs to women, or that family life belongs to everyone? They’re watching everything.  We talk about why boys need to see moms with dreams, goals, and identities outside of motherhood, and why they need to see fathers cooking, cleaning, caregiving, and showing up as true partners. Because I don’t want my sons to grow up looking for someone to cook and clean for them. I want them to grow up wanting to build a life alongside someone, not expect someone to carry it all. This one will ruffle some feathers. But that’s what Momfessions is all about. Let’s Talk About It.  Listen in to learn more:  * 0:01:00] Are We Raising Sons for Partnership or Service? * [0:03:39] The Cost of “Automatic” Mothering for Our Sons’ Expectations * [0:05:00] Do Boys Learn Caregiving Belongs to Women? * [0:07:58] Modeling True Partnership and Domestic Equity at Home * [0:10:20] Spousal Equity and Joint Career Decisions in Marriage * [0:12:22] Kids Seeing Mom’s Ambition and Dad Tag‑Teaming at Home * [0:14:14] Research: How Working Moms Shape Sons’ and Daughters’ Futures * [0:16:30] Teaching Kids “See a Need, Meet a Need” as a Family Ethic * [0:18:18] Why Engaged Fatherhood Radically Shapes Boys and Girls * [0:19:18] Kids Aren’t the Center of the Universe: Healthy Family Priorities In this episode, we are diving into how boys learn to respect and value women by observing their mothers, why moms need personal goals and priorities beyond parenting, the critical role of active fathers, the benefits of strong parenting partnerships, the family motto “see a need, meet a need,” and how shared family responsibilities help raise confident, responsible, and contributing children. Connect with Paula on Instagram  [https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en] Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!!  [https://paulafarisofficial.substack.com/] THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!!  [https://officialcarrymedia.substack.com/] Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All [https://amzn.to/4e80WyF] Download the Savor Your Summer Guide HERE [https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6a0290eee8af687e0799c64e/t/6a0d1c6a9732d7076d9c61de/1779244138649/CARRY+Media+-+Savor+Summer.pdf] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

MOMFESSIONS: Why Girls Are a Heartache and Boys Are a Heart Attack and  (And What We Get Wrong About Raising Them)

I’ve always said: boys are a heart attack and girls are a heartache. And if you’ve ever rushed a son to the ER or helped your daughter navigate friendship drama, you probably know exactly what I mean We’re back with Momfessions–our month-long series, talking about how we really feel about some of parenting's biggest, hottest topics. And I’m joined by my teammate at CARRY Media [https://carrymedia.com/], Kristen White, a mom to three boys.  This week: Why We Raise Boys and Girls Differently (Without Even Realizing It) It got me thinking: are those differences really about our kids…or about how we’re raising them?  Kristin and I talk about the stereotypes we’ve accepted, the double standards we don’t even notice, and the different expectations we place on our sons and daughters, from emotions and independence to responsibility and resilience. And my biggest takeaway? Maybe we need to stop telling our boys to “man up” and start teaching all our kids to simply be good humans. This one might make you laugh, cringe, and rethink a few things (it certainly did for me). Let’s Talk About It.  Listen in to learn more: [0:00:08] Baptism by Boy Mom Life [0:03:20] Girls are Heartache, Boys are Heart Attack [0:04:00] When the ER Becomes Your Second Home [0:05:25] The Golf Course Splinter Saga [0:08:09] Girl Drama, Social Media, and Mama Heartache [0:09:31] Caroline’s Leadership vs. Little Brother Chaos In this episode, we are diving into the unique challenges of parenting boys and girls, how gender stereotypes and societal expectations shape our approach to parenting, and the importance of being intentional as we raise confident, compassionate children with strong character. Connect with Paula on Instagram  [https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en] Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!!  [https://paulafarisofficial.substack.com/] THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!!  [https://officialcarrymedia.substack.com/] Download the Savor Your Summer Guide HERE [https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6a0290eee8af687e0799c64e/t/6a0d1c6a9732d7076d9c61de/1779244138649/CARRY+Media+-+Savor+Summer.pdf] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

MOMFESSIONS: Why Summer Isn’t A Break

We’re back with Momfessions–—our month-long series, talking about how we really feel about some of parenting's biggest, hottest topics. And I’m joined by my teammate at CARRY Media [https://carrymedia.com/], Kristen White, a mom to three boys.  This week: Why Summer Isn't a Break. We spend all year dreaming about summer, but when it finally arrives, many of us are juggling childcare, camps, schedules, work, guilt, and the pressure to make it all feel magical.  In this episode, we're sharing our real thoughts about summer, why so many parents feel exhausted before it even begins, and practical ways to enjoy it without burning out. Plus, Kristen introduces a simple idea called "Proof of Mom" that just might change the way you experience this season. Because your kids aren't the only ones allowed to have a summer. Let's Talk About It.  Listen in to learn more: [0:00:37] Complicated Feelings About Kids Home All Day [0:01:08] Expectation vs Reality of the Perfect Summer [0:03:25] Proof of Mom and Moms in Their Own Memories [0:05:01] The Impossible Math of Summer Childcare [0:09:27] Lowering the Bar on a Magical Summer In this episode, we are digging into summer parenting challenges for working parents, including summer childcare and scheduling issues, managing the mental load, letting go of unrealistic expectations and the pressure to make summer magical, why it's okay for kids to be bored, and why children benefit from seeing their parents enjoy summer, hobbies, and personal time too. LINKS Connect with Paula on Instagram  [https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en] Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!!  [https://paulafarisofficial.substack.com/] THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter  is on Substack!!  [https://officialcarrymedia.substack.com/] Download the Savor Your Summer Guide HERE [https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6a0290eee8af687e0799c64e/t/6a0d1c6a9732d7076d9c61de/1779244138649/CARRY+Media+-+Savor+Summer.pdf] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

MOMFESSIONS: We Survived Maycember. Barely.

All month long, Kristen White and I are sharing our Momfessions – how we really feel about some of parenting’s biggest, messiest, most talked-about topics. Kristen is my teammate at CARRY Media [https://carrymedia.com/] and a boy mom to three boys, so trust me: we have thoughts. First up: Maycember. You know…the month we just survived. But barely.  It’s the month that feels like December-level chaos but delivers exactly none of the holiday magic. Concerts. Field days. Teacher gifts. Sports banquets. Spirit weeks. Summer planning. Working. Parenting. Existing. Graduations!  In this episode, we’re looking back at what May did to us, why modern parenting feels unsustainable this time of year, and practical ways to make sure next May doesn’t completely take us out. Because if next May looks exactly like this May…we may not make it. Let’s Talk About It.  Listen in to learn more: [0:00:00] Maycember Overwhelm for Parents [0:06:59] Mental Load and Triple Logistics in May [0:09:54] Letting Go of Guilt and Missed Events [0:18:38] You Can’t Do It All, and That’s Okay [0:21:03] Minimum Viable Parenting Mindset [0:24:16] Evolving Beyond the Pinterest Mom [0:24:57] Workplaces Need May Flexibility In this episode, we are digging into surviving the chaos of “Maycember,” the challenges of balancing school activities with standard work hours, how our communication with our kids shapes their perceptions, practical strategies for managing busy families, giving yourself grace as a parent, and how employers can better support working parents during the demanding month of May. Connect with Paula on Instagram  [https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en] Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!!  [https://paulafarisofficial.substack.com/] THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is now on Substack!!  [https://officialcarrymedia.substack.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]