Zen Pop Parenting

Cathy and Todd discuss 9 to 5 and Working Girl, two movies Gen X women grew up on that shaped how we think about work, power, and what it means to succeed. We watched women push through, keep their heads down, and prove themselves in systems that were never really made for them, and we learned to do the same. We’ve told our daughters they can be anything, but we also passed down burnout, perfectionism, and the pressure to keep it all together. Now girls are asking, “Why are we working so hard for something that doesn’t even work for us?” This episode is about what these films gave us, what they left out, and how we’re rethinking success, feminism, and parenting the next generation. Some Ways to Support Us 1. 1. Sign up for Cathy’s Substack [https://cathycassaniadams.substack.com/] 2. Order Restoring our Girls [https://www.amazon.com/Restoring-Our-Girls-Conversations-Challenges/dp/1684816831/ref=sr_1_1?crid=13TEXAZWS743M&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1VBeeu7d3zb6S8WeBFYFRGryAZH8eLlDqw9zwFm6Djfty5WSDo93DgjNMTI-_3WGmqDq1tgTnFDtk0KaC1q8dS9HsotofBzq-v9w-1ZlttP0pgUnmhndrvkTduj_rBlaNj25icgY85S2se3topRU8ekDqEqHiOkW-BUkmUfph2xOFr0CGYJx78ZHp_9lBiCY6dL6bCS9VtVWruFr1betMZGrs_CwNm-P7ubUhtT0f4A.KTnE-Q5NA8JO7ow9aWTKfiMntLn4Iif4M9I3vUDGPik&dib_tag=se&keywords=restoring+our+girls&qid=1727709542&sprefix=%2Caps%2C78&sr=8-1] 3. Join Team Zen [https://zenpopparenting.com/product/teamzen-membership/] 4. Dark Side of the Moon Advance [https://menliving.org/event-calendar/fall-2025-menliving-advance-in-person-retreat/] Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com [https://zenpopparenting.com/podcasts/828-gen-x-feminism-in-9-to-5-and-working-girl/]. This week’s sponsor(s): * Avid Co [https://www.avidco.net/] DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. * David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 [https://www.ameripriseadvisors.com/david.serrano/] * MenLiving [https://menliving.org/]– A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements * Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys [https://toddadamscoaching.com/] Other Ways to Support Us * Ask Us Anything! [https://zenpopparenting.com/ask/?] * Follow us on social media * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/zenparentingradio/] * YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@zenparenting] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting/] * Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World [https://zenpopparenting.com/zen-parenting-book/] * Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page [https://zenpopparenting.com/resources/] * Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile [https://menliving.org/connect/]

Our daughters Jacey, Camryn, and Skylar join us as we explore the themes behind The Hunger Games books and movies and what they say about power, survival, and the cost of being human in an inhumane system. We talk about the Capitol’s need for control, how hope threatens oppression, and what happens when kids are forced to grow up too soon. Plus, we connect it all to parenting—what it means to show up and why sibling bonds matter when systems fail. Some Ways to Support Us 1. 1. Sign up for Cathy’s Substack [https://cathycassaniadams.substack.com/] 2. Order Restoring our Girls [https://www.amazon.com/Restoring-Our-Girls-Conversations-Challenges/dp/1684816831/ref=sr_1_1?crid=13TEXAZWS743M&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1VBeeu7d3zb6S8WeBFYFRGryAZH8eLlDqw9zwFm6Djfty5WSDo93DgjNMTI-_3WGmqDq1tgTnFDtk0KaC1q8dS9HsotofBzq-v9w-1ZlttP0pgUnmhndrvkTduj_rBlaNj25icgY85S2se3topRU8ekDqEqHiOkW-BUkmUfph2xOFr0CGYJx78ZHp_9lBiCY6dL6bCS9VtVWruFr1betMZGrs_CwNm-P7ubUhtT0f4A.KTnE-Q5NA8JO7ow9aWTKfiMntLn4Iif4M9I3vUDGPik&dib_tag=se&keywords=restoring+our+girls&qid=1727709542&sprefix=%2Caps%2C78&sr=8-1] 3. Join Team Zen [https://zenpopparenting.com/product/teamzen-membership/] 4. Dark Side of the Moon Advance [https://menliving.org/event-calendar/fall-2025-menliving-advance-in-person-retreat/] Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com [https://zenpopparenting.com/podcasts/827-the-hunger-games/]. This week’s sponsor(s): * Avid Co [https://www.avidco.net/] DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. * David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 [https://www.ameripriseadvisors.com/david.serrano/] * MenLiving [https://menliving.org/]– A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements * Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys [https://toddadamscoaching.com/] Other Ways to Support Us * Ask Us Anything! [https://zenpopparenting.com/ask/?] * Follow us on social media * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/zenparentingradio/] * YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@zenparenting] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting/] * Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World [https://zenpopparenting.com/zen-parenting-book/] * Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page [https://zenpopparenting.com/resources/] * Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile [https://menliving.org/connect/]

Cathy and Todd discuss Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Big Lebowski, two films that ask the same question in totally different ways: what if we just stopped playing the game? They set the scene with the cultural vibes of the ’80s and ’90s including achievement culture, Reaganomics, slacker disillusionment and reflect on how Ferris and The Dude each push back against pressure and performance. From parade dancing and White Russians to teen burnout and existential shrugs, the share personal stories, emotional insight, and parenting takeaways, exploring why sometimes doing “nothing” is exactly what we need. Some Ways to Support Us 1. 1. Sign up for Cathy’s Substack [https://cathycassaniadams.substack.com/] 2. Order Restoring our Girls [https://www.amazon.com/Restoring-Our-Girls-Conversations-Challenges/dp/1684816831/ref=sr_1_1?crid=13TEXAZWS743M&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1VBeeu7d3zb6S8WeBFYFRGryAZH8eLlDqw9zwFm6Djfty5WSDo93DgjNMTI-_3WGmqDq1tgTnFDtk0KaC1q8dS9HsotofBzq-v9w-1ZlttP0pgUnmhndrvkTduj_rBlaNj25icgY85S2se3topRU8ekDqEqHiOkW-BUkmUfph2xOFr0CGYJx78ZHp_9lBiCY6dL6bCS9VtVWruFr1betMZGrs_CwNm-P7ubUhtT0f4A.KTnE-Q5NA8JO7ow9aWTKfiMntLn4Iif4M9I3vUDGPik&dib_tag=se&keywords=restoring+our+girls&qid=1727709542&sprefix=%2Caps%2C78&sr=8-1] 3. Join Team Zen [https://zenpopparenting.com/product/teamzen-membership/] 4. Dark Side of the Moon Advance [https://menliving.org/event-calendar/fall-2025-menliving-advance-in-person-retreat/] Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com [https://zenpopparenting.com/podcasts/821-fell-on-black-days-the-deaths-of-90s-lead-singers-and-what-it-teaches-us-about-mental-health-and-addiction/]. This week’s sponsor(s): * Avid Co [https://www.avidco.net/] DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. * David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 [https://www.ameripriseadvisors.com/david.serrano/] * MenLiving [https://menliving.org/]– A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements * Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys [https://toddadamscoaching.com/] Other Ways to Support Us * Ask Us Anything! [https://zenpopparenting.com/ask/?] * Follow us on social media * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/zenparentingradio/] * YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@zenparenting] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting/] * Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World [https://zenpopparenting.com/zen-parenting-book/] * Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page [https://zenpopparenting.com/resources/] * Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile [https://menliving.org/connect/] AI Summary Todd and Kathy introduce episode 826 of Zen Pop Parenting, which is their 9th episode in this series. They discuss the theme of “doing nothing” as portrayed in the movies Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Big Lebowski. The hosts debate which of these two films they would choose if stranded on a desert island, with Todd preferring Ferris Bueller for its personal connections and Kathy leaning towards The Big Lebowski. They warn listeners that the episode will contain explicit language due to clips from The Big Lebowski. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Analysis Todd and his co-host discuss the movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” offering their perspectives on the characters and themes. They argue that the film is primarily about Cameron’s journey, with Jeannie’s character development also being significant, while Ferris remains unchanged. The hosts set the scene for the movie, describing it as a 1986 John Hughes film set in suburban Chicago, focusing on Ferris skipping school with his friends for a day of adventure in the city. They also discuss the cultural context of the 1980s, including Reaganomics and achievement culture, and compare the film’s box office performance to other popular movies of that year. The Big Lebowski: Cult Classic Analysis The discussion focuses on the movie “The Big Lebowski” (1998), starring Jeff Bridges as “the Dude.” Todd explains that the film, set in early 1990s Los Angeles, follows an unemployed bowler who gets involved in a crime plot after someone ruins his rug. The movie’s absurdist humor reflects the post-Cold War era’s cultural drift and confusion. Todd notes that the film’s structure is based on Raymond Chandler’s detective stories, and despite its cult status, it was not a box office success upon release. The main character is described as a 1960s counterculture figure who remains unchanged in the 1990s. Reflecting on Classic Films Todd discusses his memories of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Big Lebowski. He recalls watching Ferris Bueller frequently after its release, noting its quotable lines and impact on his generation. Todd mentions performing a palm routine to a song from the movie and recognizes Sig Sig Sputnik’s music from the soundtrack. Regarding The Big Lebowski, Todd admits he came to appreciate it much later, only watching it for the first time about 20 years ago. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Discussion Todd and his conversation partner discuss their experiences with playing hooky and compare them to the movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” They explore the feasibility of replicating Ferris’s day off in real life, considering the time it takes to drive from the suburbs to Chicago. The conversation then shifts to discussing White Russians and Todd’s habit of quoting a specific line from the movie when his daughters are sick. They reflect on the differences between how mothers and fathers typically care for sick children, acknowledging that these tendencies are learned behaviors rather than biological traits. Ferris Bueller Trivia Highlights Todd shares various random facts about the movies “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “The Big Lebowski.” He mentions that John Hughes wrote “Ferris Bueller” in under a week, and that Alan Ruck, who played Cameron, was 29 years old during filming. Todd also notes that Ben Stein’s famous lecture scene was improvised, and that a scene where Ferris and his friends visit a strip club was cut from the final film. Additionally, he points out that Charlie Sheen stayed awake for 48 hours to prepare for his uncredited role in the movie. Movie Trivia and Behind-the-Scenes Insights The discussion covers various aspects of the movies Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Big Lebowski. Todd shares several facts about both films, including the frequency of the word “dude” in Lebowski and details about Cameron’s house in Ferris Bueller. They also discuss Sarah Jessica Parker’s reluctance to narrate in Sex and the City due to its similarity to Ferris Bueller. The conversation touches on the role of Sam Elliott’s character in Lebowski and concludes with a disturbing revelation about Jeffrey Jones, who played Ed Rooney in Ferris Bueller. Movie Insights: Ferris and Lebowski The discussion focuses on two movies: “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “The Big Lebowski.” Todd comments on the obliviousness of parents in 1980s films, particularly in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” The conversation then shifts to “The Big Lebowski,” with Todd praising John Goodman’s acting and discussing favorite scenes and quotes from the movie. Todd expresses admiration for Jeff Bridges’ performance as “the Dude” and compares a particular scene to Fred Armisen’s impression of Nick Fehn on Saturday Night Live. Analyzing Iconic Movie Scenes The group discusses favorite scenes from movies, focusing on “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “The Big Lebowski.” They analyze the Art Museum scene in Ferris Bueller, noting its melancholy tone and character development. For The Big Lebowski, they highlight the eulogy scene, appreciating its humor and John Goodman’s performance. The conversation touches on the deeper meanings of these scenes and the characters’ relationships. Movie Character Analysis Deep Dive The discussion focuses on the deeper meanings and character analyses of two movies: “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “The Big Lebowski.” For Ferris Bueller, they explore how the protagonist’s actions represent a deliberate reclaiming of time and a rejection of societal pressures, emphasizing the importance of living in the moment. They also delve into Cameron’s character development and his confrontation with his father issues. Regarding The Big Lebowski, they discuss the main character’s philosophy of detachment and acceptance of life’s absurdities, contrasting it with the nihilists in the film. The conversation concludes by briefly mentioning parental guidance themes in the movies. Teen Rebellion in John Hughes Films The group discusses John Hughes’ films, particularly “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “The Breakfast Club,” noting similarities between characters and Hughes’ repetitive themes. They explore the idea that teenage rebellion in these films is often about finding oneself rather than breaking rules. The conversation then shifts to a discussion of oblivious parents in Gen X movies, with examples from various films including “Home Alone” and “Pretty in Pink.” They conclude by examining the portrayal of Daniel LaRusso’s mother in “The Karate Kid,” debating whether she was aware of what was happening in her son’s life. Big Lebowski and Ferris Bueller Themes Todd discusses various aspects of the films “The Big Lebowski” and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” focusing on character analysis and life lessons. He highlights Walter’s projection issues, the Dude’s contrasting laid-back attitude, and Donnie’s role as the overlooked character in “The Big Lebowski.” Todd also explores themes of masculinity in crisis, the philosophy of “abiding,” and the importance of friendship and loyalty in both movies. He concludes by comparing the Dude’s detachment with humility to the Nihilists’ angry detachment, emphasizing the difference between believing in nothing while still caring versus needing to win. Ferris and Lebowski Movie Quotes Todd leads a discussion about favorite quotes from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “The Big Lebowski.” They share and analyze several memorable lines from both movies, discussing their context and impact. The conversation then shifts to categorizing the films as either “cringey” or “classic,” with both being deemed classics in their own right. They play a music game, trying to find songs that capture the essence of both movies. The session concludes with a rapid-fire trivia round about both films, testing their knowledge of characters, plot points, and memorable scenes.

Cathy and Todd discuss Stranger Things Season 1 through a cultural, emotional, and psychological lens. They explore how the show’s 80s nostalgia, supernatural mystery, and strong character dynamics reflect deeper themes of trauma, shadow work, friendship, and resilience. Set against the backdrop of 2016 (Cubs World Series Win, presidential election, and personal turning points), they unpack why the Upside Down isn’t just a scary place but a metaphor for the parts of ourselves we avoid, and how love, connection, and curiosity help us survive what feels unknowable. Some Ways to Support Us 1. 1. Sign up for Cathy’s Substack [https://cathycassaniadams.substack.com/] 2. Order Restoring our Girls [https://www.amazon.com/Restoring-Our-Girls-Conversations-Challenges/dp/1684816831/ref=sr_1_1?crid=13TEXAZWS743M&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1VBeeu7d3zb6S8WeBFYFRGryAZH8eLlDqw9zwFm6Djfty5WSDo93DgjNMTI-_3WGmqDq1tgTnFDtk0KaC1q8dS9HsotofBzq-v9w-1ZlttP0pgUnmhndrvkTduj_rBlaNj25icgY85S2se3topRU8ekDqEqHiOkW-BUkmUfph2xOFr0CGYJx78ZHp_9lBiCY6dL6bCS9VtVWruFr1betMZGrs_CwNm-P7ubUhtT0f4A.KTnE-Q5NA8JO7ow9aWTKfiMntLn4Iif4M9I3vUDGPik&dib_tag=se&keywords=restoring+our+girls&qid=1727709542&sprefix=%2Caps%2C78&sr=8-1] 3. Join Team Zen [https://zenpopparenting.com/product/teamzen-membership/] 4. Dark Side of the Moon Advance [https://menliving.org/event-calendar/fall-2025-menliving-advance-in-person-retreat/] Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com [https://zenpopparenting.com/podcasts/825-stranger-things-season-1-what-the-upside-down-teaches-us-about-our-shadow-selves-trauma-and-grief/]. This week’s sponsor(s): * Avid Co [https://www.avidco.net/] DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. * David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 [https://www.ameripriseadvisors.com/david.serrano/] * MenLiving [https://menliving.org/]– A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements * Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys [https://toddadamscoaching.com/] Other Ways to Support Us * Ask Us Anything! [https://zenpopparenting.com/ask/?] * Follow us on social media * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/zenparentingradio/] * YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@zenparenting] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting/] * Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World [https://zenpopparenting.com/zen-parenting-book/] * Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page [https://zenpopparenting.com/resources/] * Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile [https://menliving.org/connect/] AI Summary Meeting summary for ZPR Podcast Recording (07/02/2025) Quick recap Todd and his co-host discussed their love for the TV show Stranger Things, exploring its themes, characters, and psychological aspects. They delved into the show’s portrayal of trauma, friendship, and personal growth, while also sharing their favorite moments and music from the series. The discussion touched on the importance of understanding and supporting children’s interests, as well as the anticipation for the upcoming fifth season of Stranger Things. Summary Stranger Things and D&D Connections Todd discussed his love for Dungeons & Dragons, comparing it to the show Stranger Things, which he believes reflects his childhood. He mentioned that Stranger Things season one was nominated for 18 Emmys and won 5, and he shared interesting facts about the show’s creation and influences, including its references to various 80s movies and music. Todd also highlighted the show’s themes of friendship, family, and teamwork, and mentioned that the actors had played Dungeons & Dragons before filming began. Stranger Things Season 1 Review Todd and his co-host discussed their love for the first season of Stranger Things, highlighting the character of Joyce Byers and her intensity, as well as the show’s revival of 1980s and 1990s actors like Winona Ryder and Matthew Modine. They also talked about Steve Harrington’s character development and the controversial “Papa” storyline. The hosts shared their favorite scenes from the season, including the dramatic moment when Mike is willing to jump off a cliff for his friend, and the emotional reunion of the kids with Will in the hospital. They concluded by discussing the deeper themes of the show, including trauma and grief, and how it relates to their podcast’s title. Shadow Self in Stranger Things Todd discussed the psychological themes in Stranger Things, focusing on the upside down as a representation of the shadow self and unconscious trauma. He explained how characters like Will, Eleven, and Hopper deal with their own traumas and how facing these dark aspects can lead to personal growth. Todd also highlighted the importance of integrating the shadow self and the dangers of ignoring or repressing it. He concluded by drawing parallels to real-world issues, such as the ethical considerations in scientific experimentation, particularly in the context of AI development. ChatGPT and Stranger Things Insights Todd discussed his interactions with ChatGPT, expressing frustration with its lack of understanding and personality, despite uploading personal information to improve its responses. He explored themes from Stranger Things, particularly focusing on the character of Eleven as a modern-day chosen one and the importance of parental trust and openness. Todd emphasized the show’s lessons for parents, including believing their children’s experiences and staying curious, while highlighting the intuitive and creative nature of children. He also humorously criticized the cluelessness of the Wheeler family in the show, drawing parallels to his own experiences. Children’s Interests and ‘Stranger Things Todd discussed the importance of understanding and supporting children’s interests, emphasizing that being different is a superpower and that connection heals trauma. He highlighted the significance of body language as a form of communication, especially in the show “Stranger Things.” Todd also shared his favorite quotes from the show, including Dustin’s curious conversation with his teacher, and mentioned the release schedule for the upcoming fifth season, which will be released in three parts on significant dates. Stranger Things Trivia and Music Todd and his friend engaged in a discussion about the TV show Stranger Things, sharing their favorite music and trivia about the series. They played a music game where Todd chose “Heathens” by 21 Pilots, which was combined with Stranger Things theme music in a concert. Todd also administered a quiz to his friend about various Stranger Things facts, which they answered successfully. They encouraged others to watch or rewatch the series in preparation for the upcoming Season 5.

Cathy & Todd revisit the rise and fall of Milli Vanilli, one of pop music’s most infamous scandals, and discuss how their story became a powerful metaphor for imposter syndrome. In the late ’80s, image was everything—style often mattered more than substance. They take a look at what happens when performance is rewarded over honesty, and how that same pressure to “fake it” still shows up today: in parenting, work, and how we see ourselves. From cultural deception to personal doubt, this episode discusses what it means to lose your voice, find it again, and redefine success on your own terms. Some Ways to Support Us 1. 1. Sign up for Cathy’s Substack [https://cathycassaniadams.substack.com/] 2. Order Restoring our Girls [https://www.amazon.com/Restoring-Our-Girls-Conversations-Challenges/dp/1684816831/ref=sr_1_1?crid=13TEXAZWS743M&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1VBeeu7d3zb6S8WeBFYFRGryAZH8eLlDqw9zwFm6Djfty5WSDo93DgjNMTI-_3WGmqDq1tgTnFDtk0KaC1q8dS9HsotofBzq-v9w-1ZlttP0pgUnmhndrvkTduj_rBlaNj25icgY85S2se3topRU8ekDqEqHiOkW-BUkmUfph2xOFr0CGYJx78ZHp_9lBiCY6dL6bCS9VtVWruFr1betMZGrs_CwNm-P7ubUhtT0f4A.KTnE-Q5NA8JO7ow9aWTKfiMntLn4Iif4M9I3vUDGPik&dib_tag=se&keywords=restoring+our+girls&qid=1727709542&sprefix=%2Caps%2C78&sr=8-1] 3. Join Team Zen [https://zenpopparenting.com/product/teamzen-membership/] 4. Dark Side of the Moon Advance [https://menliving.org/event-calendar/fall-2025-menliving-advance-in-person-retreat/] Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com [https://zenpopparenting.com/podcasts/824-pulling-a-milli-vanilli-how-pops-biggest-scandal-became-a-metaphor-for-imposter-syndrome/]. This week’s sponsor(s): * Avid Co [https://www.avidco.net/] DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. * David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 [https://www.ameripriseadvisors.com/david.serrano/] * MenLiving [https://menliving.org/]– A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements * Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys [https://toddadamscoaching.com/] Other Ways to Support Us * Ask Us Anything! [https://zenpopparenting.com/ask/?] * Follow us on social media * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/zenparentingradio/] * YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@zenparenting] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting/] * Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World [https://zenpopparenting.com/zen-parenting-book/] * Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page [https://zenpopparenting.com/resources/] * Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile [https://menliving.org/connect/] Summary Milli Vanilli and Imposter Syndrome Todd and Cathy introduce their podcast “Zen Pop Parenting,” which explores how pop culture can help understand parenting and relationships. They discuss the topic of their current episode, “Pulling a Milli Vanilli: How Pop’s Biggest Scandal Became a Metaphor for Imposter Syndrome.” They provide background on Milli Vanilli, a German-French pop duo consisting of Rob Pilatus and Fab Morvan, and mention the documentary about them on Paramount Plus. Todd and Kathy plan to discuss the duo’s creation by producer Frank Farion, their scandal, and its relevance to imposter syndrome. Milli Vanilli: Pop Culture Icons The discussion focused on the 1980s pop duo Milli Vanilli, their rise to fame, and their impact on music culture. Todd highlighted their stylish image, good looks, and dance moves as key factors in their popularity, while also noting that their songs were a blend of pop and R&B. The conversation then shifted to band names, with Todd and others discussing memorable and sometimes controversial names, including Toad the Wet Sprocket, Smashing Pumpkins, and Panic! at the Disco. Milli Vanilli: The Vocal Scandal The discussion focused on the Milli Vanilli scandal, where it was revealed in 1990 that Robin and Fab, the duo’s lead singers, did not perform their own vocals, despite winning the Grammy for Best New Artist that year. The scandal unfolded during a live MTV performance when the backing track skipped, leading to one member fleeing the stage before being coerced to return. The conversation explored how the duo became scapegoats for systemic issues in the music industry, with the real singers kept anonymous while the public faced the fallout, and highlighted broader themes about authenticity in pop music that influenced the rise of grunge. Music Industry Authenticity Shift Todd discussed the contractual issues faced by various artists, including Jojo, Prince, and TLC, highlighting the challenges they encountered due to label disputes. He also mentioned the cultural context of the late 1980s, including the AIDS crisis, the fall of the Berlin Wall, and the rise of pop culture icons like Madonna and the Simpsons. Todd emphasized the shift from escapist, image-focused music to a return to authenticity in the music industry, using Milli Vanilli as a prime example of this pendulum swing. Overcoming Imposter Syndrome Todd discussed his experience with imposter syndrome, sharing that he still feels nervous when leading men’s groups despite his success in podcasting. He emphasized the difference between feeling nervous and experiencing imposter syndrome, and highlighted that many successful people, including Neil Patrick Harris, have faced similar feelings of inadequacy despite their achievements. Todd also reflected on his career journey, noting that he no longer needs to be the one with all the answers and is open to learning from others. Milli Vanilli’s Impact on Pop Culture Todd discussed the inclusion of Milli Vanilli’s music in the “Pam and Tommy” show, clarifying that it was an acted series rather than a documentary. He highlighted the use of the duo’s songs in conjunction with high-profile events like the O.J. Simpson trial and the Menendez brothers case, noting the meta aspect of using songs that were popular during these events. Todd also shared insights about the documentary exposing the lack of vocal credits for Rob and Fab on the album “All or Nothing,” which he found alarming. He reflected on the music industry’s focus on sales and image over talent, and mentioned the Grammys revoking Milli Vanilli’s award. Additionally, Todd touched on the concept of imposter syndrome, its origins, and its relevance to individuals who feel out of place in environments not designed for them. Music Authenticity and Tragic Stories Todd discussed the inauthentic practices of some music artists in the 1980s and 1990s, including Milli Vanilli, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, and C & C Music Factory, where vocalists were often uncredited or not paid for their work. He also shared that Rob Diner, a member of the group Rob & Fab, struggled with drug addiction and died from an accidental overdose. Todd expressed sympathy for Fab, who managed to overcome personal challenges and learn to sing. He concluded by connecting Milli Vanilli’s music to the Menendez brothers case, noting that the brothers listened to the band’s music before and after committing their parents’ murders. Exploring Celebrities’ Deception and Impact Todd discussed the Menendez brothers’ case, highlighting how their wealthy background and alleged abuse influenced their actions, and drew parallels to other cases like Milli Vanilli, emphasizing deception and societal expectations. He explored the concept of imposter syndrome, explaining its characteristics and how it relates to the human tendency to confess secrets, using examples such as James Frey and Lance Armstrong. Todd also discussed the case of Elizabeth Holmes, noting the complexities of her situation, including allegations of fraud and the impact of her actions on others, while considering factors like misogyny and personal history. Overcoming Imposter Syndrome Todd discussed imposter syndrome, explaining that it affects high achievers due to social comparison, internalized messages, gender bias, perfectionism, and lack of representation. He highlighted how women often face more imposter syndrome due to societal expectations and shared insights from Amy Poehler’s podcast about embracing imperfection. Todd also touched on parenting, noting that children learn more from observing their parents’ handling of failures than from listening to advice. He reflected on the impact of curated perfection in music, comparing artists like Madonna and Milli Vanilli, and concluded with a discussion on Bruce Springsteen’s approach to authenticity in his music. Parenting and Imposter Syndrome Todd and his partner discussed the challenges of parenting and the phenomenon of imposter syndrome in this context. They explored various aspects of imposter syndrome in parenting, including feeling like one is not doing enough, second-guessing choices, avoiding conversations about parenting, and overcompensating with perfectionism. They also touched on the importance of self-compassion as a solution to imposter syndrome and the need to model self-compassion for children. Authenticity and Vulnerability in Leadership Todd shared reflections on authenticity, accountability, and the challenges of balancing confidence and vulnerability, particularly for women. He emphasized the importance of being true to oneself and highlighted how societal expectations and imposter syndrome can hinder personal growth. Todd also discussed a cringeworthy media moment involving a press conference, where individuals were unfairly pressured to prove their abilities, underscoring the need for better media training and support in difficult situations. Milli Vanilli: Lessons in Resilience Todd and his co-host discussed the impact of the music duo Milli Vanilli, focusing on Rob and Fab’s experiences and the lessons learned from their rise and fall. They shared quotes and reflections on topics like imposter syndrome, self-worth, and the pressure of public expectations. Todd highlighted the importance of resilience and reinvention, referencing Rob’s tragic death and Fab’s journey to redemption. They also played a music game, selecting songs that captured the vibe of their discussion, and concluded by emphasizing the message of perseverance.