Dan & Can Podcast 172: Why You NEED to Make Mistakes (Unlearning Shame After Deconstruction)

Candid Conversations 166: Is This Really Love? Responding to a Christian Comment About LGBTQ People

In this episode of Candid Conversations, we respond to a comment left on one of our recent videos about the meaning of the rainbow. The commenter argued that LGBTQ people are unhappy because they are living outside of God's design and that Christians have a responsibility to tell them their identity and relationships are sinful—even if doing so causes offense. That led us into a deeper discussion: What does love actually look like? Is telling someone they are fundamentally broken an act of compassion—or an act of certainty that assumes we fully understand the mind of God? We explore questions that shaped our own deconstruction from evangelical Christianity: • Why did Jesus never directly address LGBTQ relationships?• Why do so many Christians speak with certainty about issues Jesus remained silent on?• Wouldn’t even the evangelical god consider arrogance a more egregious “sin” than being gay?• Why are LGBTQ people statistically more likely to experience depression and self-harm?• Could rejection, shame, and social exclusion play a significant role?• Christians manufacture their own persecution while LGBTQIA+ truly experience it simply by existing. While this comment may have riled us up a bit, we think it could be used to encourage more discussions concerning why many people leaving evangelical Christianity are rediscovering a faith rooted more in compassion than condemnation. Whether you agree with us or not, our hope is that this conversation encourages curiosity, empathy, and a willingness to see one another as fully human. 🎙️ Subscribe for more candid conversations about healing, nervous system regulation, deconstruction, psychology, relationships, subconscious programming, and reclaiming your authentic self. Support us:  https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan [https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan]Work with Candace (Hypnotherapy & Subconscious Reprogramming after leaving toxic religion): http://CandidCoachingCo.com [http://candidcoachingco.com]#Exvangelical#Deconstruction#LGBTQ#FaithDeconstruction#EvangelicalChristianity#ReligiousTrauma#ProgressiveChristianity#LoveIsLove#ChristianNationalism#LifeAfterReligion#Inclusion#CandidConversations#ReligiousHealing#JesusAndLove#HealingAfterReligion Email us: Candace@DanandCan.com [Candace@DanandCan.com] Website: ⁠https://danandcan.com/⁠ [https://danandcan.com/] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w] Help w/Deconstruction: https://CandidCoachingCo.com [https://candidcoachingco.com]

Dan & Can Podcast 177: "Underbabied" America? The Real Reason They're Worried About Population Decline

In this episode of Dan & Can, we continue our conversation about declining birth rates and the growing panic surrounding what some are calling an "underbabied" America. We explore why younger generations are waiting longer to have children, and whether that's actually a problem—or simply a reflection of changing priorities, economic realities, and a desire to create more stable homes before starting families. We also discuss: * Why politicians and religious leaders seem so concerned about falling birth rates * The connection between population growth, economics, and political power * Why many young adults are delaying parenthood * The difference between being "pro-birth" and being truly "pro-life" * Whether children are viewed as individuals to nurture or future workers and consumers to sustain systems * How evangelical Christianity has historically encouraged large families * Why quality of life may matter more than population quantity * How deconstruction changed our perspective on marriage, parenting, and family planning As former evangelicals, we're asking questions we never felt free to ask before: Who benefits from population growth? Who bears the cost? And what happens when people choose a different path? Join us for another honest conversation about life, faith, culture, and what happens after leaving evangelical Christianity. New episodes every week. Support us:  https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan [https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan]Work with Candace (Hypnotherapy & Subconscious Reprogramming after leaving toxic religion): http://CandidCoachingCo.com [http://candidcoachingco.com] #deconstruction #exvangelical #populationdecline #birthrates #dandcan  Subscribe for more candid conversations about culture, deconstruction, relationships, healing, psychology, and rebuilding life with intention. #Exvangelical #Deconstruction #PopulationDecline #BirthRates #LifeAfterReligion #EvangelicalChristianity #ReligiousTrauma #ChristianNationalism #FamilyPlanning #Millennials #GenZ #Parenting #CulturalCommentary #DanAndCan #Podcast  What are your thoughts? Why do Xian Nationalist want so many children? Share your opinion in the comments. Email us: Candace@DanandCan.com [Candace@DanandCan.com] Website: ⁠https://danandcan.com/⁠ [https://danandcan.com/] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w] Help w/Deconstruction: https://CandidCoachingCo.com [https://candidcoachingco.com]

Candid Conversations 165: The Rainbow: God's Judgment or Radical Inclusion?

Description: In this episode of Candid Conversations, we react to a video of a father telling his children that the rainbow belongs to God and that others are trying to steal its meaning. That simple moment sparked a much bigger conversation. What does the rainbow actually represent? In the biblical story of Noah, the rainbow is God's promise that He will never flood the earth again after destroying nearly every living creature. It is a symbol that follows one of the most devastating stories in Scripture. Meanwhile, the LGBTQ+ community has embraced the rainbow as a symbol of diversity, acceptance, love, and belonging. The contrast raises an interesting question: Which message reflects the heart of Jesus more closely? We also discuss why many Christians seem unbothered by rainbows on cereal boxes, toys, clothing, and advertisements, yet become deeply upset when the same symbol represents LGBTQ+ inclusion. Is the issue really the rainbow—or is it discomfort with the people who carry it? In this episode we explore: • The biblical meaning of the rainbow after Noah's flood• The modern meaning of the Pride flag• Fear, identity, and religious conditioning• Christian nationalism versus the teachings of Jesus• Deconstruction and learning to see familiar stories differently Ultimately, we believe each person gets to decide what the rainbow means to them. We simply invite you to look at both stories and ask which one leads to greater love. 🎙️ Subscribe for more candid conversations about healing, nervous system regulation, deconstruction, psychology, relationships, subconscious programming, and reclaiming your authentic self. Support us:  https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan [https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan]Work with Candace (Hypnotherapy & Subconscious Reprogramming after leaving toxic religion): http://CandidCoachingCo.com [http://candidcoachingco.com]#Exvangelical#Deconstruction#LGBTQ#Pride#Rainbow#EvangelicalChristianity#LifeAfterReligion#FaithDeconstruction#ReligiousTrauma#ChristianNationalism#LoveIsLove#ProgressiveChristianity#CandidConversations#InclusionMatters#HealingAfterReligionWhat does the rainbow represent to you? Email us: Candace@DanandCan.com [Candace@DanandCan.com] Website: ⁠https://danandcan.com/⁠ [https://danandcan.com/] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w] Help w/Deconstruction: https://CandidCoachingCo.com [https://candidcoachingco.com]

Dan & Can Podcast 176: Population Decline, Immigration & Christianity’s Push for Bigger Families

In this episode of Dan & Can Podcast, we continue last week’s conversation about culture, survival, family systems, and the pressures shaping modern life — and we’ll continue exploring this topic again next week because there’s simply too much to unpack in one episode. After hearing comments from Mehmet Oz about America’s declining birth rate and shrinking population growth, we started asking deeper questions: Why are people having fewer children? Is the economy really built for large families anymore? Why are young couples being encouraged to start families before they’re financially or emotionally prepared? And why is immigration so often ignored as a practical solution to workforce shortages and population decline? As parents who followed the Christian cultural expectation to marry young and have multiple children, we share our personal experience of loving our children deeply while also acknowledging the very real financial strain and emotional pressure that came with it. We discuss how many evangelical communities encourage people — often young, financially unstable, and emotionally unprepared — to have more children while simultaneously resisting immigration, even though immigration could help stabilize workforce and population concerns in practical ways. This episode explores: * declining birth rates in America * immigration and workforce growth * evangelical family culture * financial stress in large families * parenting and economic reality * religious pressure around reproduction * generational shifts in marriage and family planning * balancing love for family with honesty about struggle Support us:  https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan [https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan]Work with Candace (Hypnotherapy & Subconscious Reprogramming after leaving toxic religion): http://CandidCoachingCo.com [http://candidcoachingco.com] This conversation is nuanced, personal, and honest. We adore our children and would never trade them for the world — but we also believe people deserve truthful conversations about the emotional, financial, and societal realities of raising families.If you’ve ever questioned the pressure to “just trust God” financially, struggled raising kids in today’s economy, or wondered why fewer people want children, this conversation may resonate with you.🎙️ Subscribe for more candid conversations about culture, deconstruction, relationships, healing, psychology, and rebuilding life with intention.Next week, we’ll continue diving deeper into these themes and the systems influencing how people build families, communities, and identities. #DanAndCan #PopulationDecline #BirthRateCrisis #Millennials #GenZ #Immigration #ChristianCulture #Evangelicalism #Deconstruction #ParentingStruggles #LargeFamilies #FinancialStress #MarriageAndFamily #EconomicReality #WorkforceShortage #CandidConversations #ReligiousTrauma #CulturalPressure #FamilyPlanning #PodcastDiscussion   What are your thoughts? Should we have more children than we can afford or are ready for? Share your opinion in the comments. Email us: Candace@DanandCan.com [Candace@DanandCan.com] Website: ⁠https://danandcan.com/⁠ [https://danandcan.com/] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w] Help w/Deconstruction: https://CandidCoachingCo.com [https://candidcoachingco.com]

Candid Conversations 164: Ken Ham Couldn't Answer This Question... So He Changed the Subject

In this episode of Candid Conversations, we explore a powerful clip from Neil deGrasse Tyson, where he shares what he believes is one of the greatest threats to society—not a lack of respect for science, but a lack of scientific literacy. What happens when people stop asking questions? What happens when beliefs become identities? And what happens when certainty becomes more important than truth? We discuss how science differs from dogma, why curiosity is essential for growth, and how deconstruction taught us something many of us were never allowed to practice inside evangelical Christianity: changing our minds. We also examine a clip featuring Ken Ham and Alex O'Connor discussing the Garden of Eden, the origin of evil, and whether difficult questions deserve direct answers. The conversation raises deeper questions about certainty, intellectual honesty, and what happens when protecting a belief system becomes more important than exploring the truth. Topics include: • Neil deGrasse Tyson's concerns about scientific illiteracy • Why curiosity is essential for personal growth • The difference between science and dogma • Ken Ham, Alex O'Connor, and the problem of unanswered questions • The Garden of Eden and the origin of evil • Why rigid belief systems struggle with criticism • How evangelical Christianity often ties beliefs to identity • Why flexibility—not rigidity—is a sign of strength • The connection between nervous system regulation and open-mindedness • What deconstruction taught us about truth, humility, and uncertainty If you've ever questioned your beliefs, changed your mind, or discovered that curiosity can be more valuable than certainty, this conversation is for you. 🎙️ Subscribe for more candid conversations about healing, nervous system regulation, deconstruction, psychology, relationships, subconscious programming, and reclaiming your authentic self. Photo Credit:  © StarTalk / C. Picadas https://neildegrassetyson.com/publicity-photos/ [https://neildegrassetyson.com/publicity-photos/] Acdixon https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ken_Ham_speaking.jpg [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ken_Ham_speaking.jpg] Support us:  https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan [https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan]Work with Candace (Hypnotherapy & Subconscious Reprogramming after leaving toxic religion): http://CandidCoachingCo.com [http://candidcoachingco.com] #Deconstruction#Exvangelical#NeilDeGrasseTyson#AlexOConnor#KenHam#CriticalThinking#ScientificMethod#ReligiousTrauma#LifeAfterReligion#Curiosity#EvangelicalChristianity#Dogma#FaithDeconstruction#CandidConversations#ScienceAndFaith Which do you prefer: the curiosity of science or the certainty of evangelical Christianity? Email us: Candace@DanandCan.com [Candace@DanandCan.com] Website: ⁠https://danandcan.com/⁠ [https://danandcan.com/] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w] Help w/Deconstruction: https://CandidCoachingCo.com [https://candidcoachingco.com]