Ep. 248: Dating, Ghosting & Found Family: A Girl and a Gay on Real Modern Love

Ep. 253: This is Everything: Ridiculous Conversations

📋 SHOW NOTES Everything & Anything…and a Bit Gay Episode: The Questions That Exhaust Us There's a particular kind of tired that comes not from overworking or overextending — but from decades of explaining your existence to people who feel entitled to interrogate it. In this solo This Is Everything episode, Zach Randles-Friedman names that feeling out loud: exhaustion. And then he does something more interesting than venting about it — he unpacks it. Zach walks through some of the most common (and most maddening) questions and phrases that follow LGBTQ+ people through life, not just to dismiss them, but to sit with what they actually reveal — about the people who say them, about the culture that produces them, and about the extraordinary amount of labor our community has long performed just to be seen. In this episode, Zach covers: * "Why isn't there a straight pride?" — The history matters. Stonewall wasn't a party. It was a survival riot led by trans women of color who had nowhere else to go. Pride was chosen deliberately because society demanded shame. Straight people have never had to build a movement to reclaim their dignity — and that's not an insult, it's just the truth. * "I'm fine with gay people, I just don't want it shoved in my face." — Zach breaks down the quiet cruelty in this one: the entire architecture of public life was built around straight love — every movie, every commercial, every magazine — and no one ever asked him if that was shoved in his face. He made room for their story his whole life. All we're asking is: can you make room for ours? * The bachelorette party problem. — Why do straight people flood gay bars seeking safety, then perform hyper-masculinity to prove they don't belong there? Zach unpacks the dynamic with empathy and a little exasperation. * "I'm gay, but I don't need to make it my whole personality." — This one comes from inside the house, and it's the hardest to sit with. Zach shares a personal story about a close friend who slowly disappeared into an acceptable, contained version of himself — and what it cost him. There is no correct amount of gay. There is no right way to express it. But if your self-expression includes looking down on people who are more visible or more flamboyant, that's internalized shame — and it doesn't disappear when you come out. It just changes clothes. * "You don't look gay." — Not a compliment. Not an insult. A window into someone's imagination built with incomplete information. Zach reflects on how deeply he once absorbed the idea that "passing" was protection — and what it cost him to unlearn it. * "When did you decide to be gay?" — We don't decide. We discover. And usually long before we have the language for it. But Zach goes further: even if it were a choice, so what? The premise that choice would make love less legitimate is the thing worth challenging. * "Pride has gotten too corporate." — Rainbow capitalism is real, and worth calling out. But Zach remembers when no company would touch the LGBTQ+ community at all — when being associated with anything gay was brand poison. The fact that companies now want to be associated with pride is a reflection of cultural power. Just hold them accountable for what they're doing the other 11 months. * "The community was better before all these new labels." — Translation: things were simpler when fewer people felt included. Every new label represents someone who spent years feeling like they didn't exist and finally found a word for themselves. That's not a problem. That's the whole point. Zach closes with something clear and hard-won: after nearly three decades with Andrew, after a lifetime in this community, the people worth explaining yourself to are already trying to understand. They come to the conversation with something open in them. The others? You don't owe them your exhaustion. You owe yourself your energy, your joy, and your pride — not the kind that disappears on July 1st with the merchandise, but the kind that's quiet, certain, and lives in you every single day.   Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep. 252: Death Doula Martha Jo Atkins on the Language of Dying, What Happens After & Finding Peace at End of Life

Episode: Martha Jo Atkins — The Language of Dying What does it feel like to be with someone as they leave this world? Death doula, psychotherapist, and end-of-life specialist Martha Jo Atkins has spent 35+ years answering that question — and she joins Zach for one of the most profound conversations this show has ever had. Martha Jo has been present for more than a thousand deaths. She's watched people reach for loved ones no one else can see. She's heard patients narrate their own journey through doors, ladders, and lights in the ceiling. She's received phone calls — in her dreams — from people who've passed. And she's found a way to hold all of it with grace, curiosity, and zero BS. In this episode: * How losing her brother Jim at 24 sent Martha Jo toward a life's work in death and dying * What the "language of dying" actually sounds like — and why most families miss it * The phenomenon of "friendlies": spirits that appear to the dying before they recognize anyone * Why hearing is believed to be the last sense to go — and what that means for the people left in the room * Terminal lucidity: when someone who hasn't communicated in years suddenly comes back — and then quietly goes * The story of the woman who died smiling, and the three people in the same room who all saw light in the ceiling * Butch and the ladders — one of Martha Jo's most unforgettable bedside stories * What Martha Jo believes actually happens when we die: "the balloon pops, and we go everywhere" * Her evolving views on heaven, hell, and reincarnation — and why she's okay not having all the answers * Medical aid in dying: where it's legal, who it helps, and the complicated grief it leaves behind * What it means to be a gay death doula — and why LGBTQ+ people deserve end-of-life care that truly sees them * Dreams, visitations, and the phone calls that wake Martha Jo up at 5am Zach also gets personal — sharing stories about his father's death, the picture that flew through the shower curtain, six photos that flipped at once, and how a dream from his aunt convinced him to quit smoking for good. Connect with Martha Jo: 🌐 MarthaJoAtkins.com [https://marthajoatkins.com/] 📺 TEDx Talk: The Language of Dying (2M+ views) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vg8WAv0YT9c [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vg8WAv0YT9c] If this episode moved you, please share it with someone who needs it. Subscribe, rate, and review — it means everything. See you next episode. Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep. 251: Psychic Medium & Pet Communicator Medium Mari on Signs, Grief & Spirit

SHOW NOTES Episode Title: Psychic Medium & Pet Communicator Medium Mari on Signs, Grief & the Gift She Was Born With Episode Summary: This week Zach sits down with Medium Mari — a Boston-area psychic medium, animal communicator, and licensed clinical social worker — for a conversation that goes deep into the world of spirit, intuition, and healing. Mari has spent decades bridging two worlds: the clinical and the metaphysical. The result is a reading experience that's both evidential and deeply compassionate. Episode Highlights: * Mari shares what it was like growing up seeing angels at age four and keeping her gift as her "dirty little secret" * How her family responded — and why she followed the "normal path" of degrees and clinical work before fully embracing her abilities * The moment a UK psychic told her she was meant to do this work — and why she didn't believe him * The Orlando airport tarot card story: one card, standing upright in an airport bathroom stall, that read Trust * What a reading actually looks like from Mari's side — clairvoyance, images, movie clips, scents, and spirit drawing her words and symbols * How her background as a licensed clinical social worker shapes the way she delivers messages with care and intention * Energy protection: golden bubbles, grounding meditations, and why grocery stores can be overwhelming when you feel everything * A heartfelt message for anyone grieving a pet or a loved one — and how to start noticing the signs they're sending Mari's Books: * Heaven Sent — a multi-author compilation of stories about the miraculous ways pets have helped people (available on Amazon and mariamari.com) * Reflections Between Two Worlds — a compilation of psychic mediums sharing their experiences, including Mari's account of physically seeing a Revolutionary War soldier at Minuteman National Park Connect with Medium Mari: 🌐 https://www.mediummari.com/ [https://www.mediummari.com/] Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep. 250: My Anti-Aging Secrets: Skincare, Botox, Micro-Needling & Supplements

My Anti-Aging Secrets: Skincare, Botox, Micro-Needling & What Actually Works It's The Gay Bit — where Zach packs all the gay into one episode. This week, he's pulling back the curtain on his full anti-aging routine: the supplements, the devices, the spa treatments, and yes — the salmon sperm. In this episode: Zach breaks down everything he does to fight aging at 53 — from his 18-pill morning supplement stack (collagen, NAD, multivitamins, and more) to his double-cleanse routine with oil and soap-based cleansers, multiple toners, serums, vitamin C, and SPF. He talks about the LED face masks he buys and never uses, a $2,000 red light wand from South by Southwest that did absolutely nothing, and the treatments that actually make a difference — including micro-needling with salmon sperm facial, Botox every three months, and lip filler. He also gets candid about quitting smoking in January 2020, gaining weight during COVID when the gyms were closed, hating his 40s, and why turning 50 actually felt like a relief. Plus — he's signing up for a personal trainer twice a week at the fitness studio at the end of his block, because accountability is the only thing that gets him to the gym. Oh, and he definitely went on Facebook to look up his straight high school classmates and feel good about himself. No shame. Topics covered:   18-supplement morning routine: collagen, NAD, multivitamins, and horse-sized pills Double-cleanse method, toners, serums, and SPF LED face masks, red light wands, and skincare devices (mostly gathering dust) Micro-needling + salmon sperm facial — yes, really Botox every 3 months, lip filler once a year Quitting smoking in January 2020 and gaining weight during COVID Joining a personal trainer studio twice a week Being 53, gay, and aging on your own terms The Facebook scroll of shame (looking at old classmates)   Want to know the exact collagen supplement Zach swears by? Send him a DM on Instagram! New episodes drop Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. The Gay Bit drops every Friday. Follow, subscribe, rate, review, and share — it genuinely helps the show grow. Find Zach on social and at TheRealZachRE on IG.  Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep. 249: She Left Everything and Built an Empire in LA | Danielle P.M. Johnson

This episode is about what it actually looks like to bet on yourself when you have almost nothing — and win. Danielle P.M. Johnson moved from the East Coast to Los Angeles in July 2020, in the middle of a global pandemic, having left behind an abusive marriage and carrying a dream that most people would have talked themselves out of. She arrived at midnight with rolling suitcases and no plan beyond this is what I'm supposed to do. What she's built since then — a choreography career, an Airbnb hustle that paid her first apartment, a women's empowerment organization, a dance-based film series, and a nonprofit that gets dancers paid — is a masterclass in resilience, faith, and moving when you don't feel ready. Zach and Danielle talk about what it really takes to start over, how dance heals even when you don't know who it's healing, and why knowing who you are changes everything. In This Episode * How Danielle moved to LA at the height of COVID with a car ride, a suitcase, and a prayer * The Airbnb hustle that turned into her first apartment — and got her debt forgiven during the pandemic * Her journey from music to choreography — and the prophecy that redirected her entire path * What performing means versus just dancing: getting into character so fully that you become the message * How dance heals — and why you can never predict which performance will move someone * The film series she shot and is now editing: telling the real story behind the highlight reel of entertainment * Glow Up House — the organization she founded for women (and men) focused on community, mentorship, and inner growth * Cardio Healing — the umbrella LLC and nonprofit helping dancers get booked, costumed, rehearsed, and paid for major events including the NYC Times Square New Year's Eve ball drop * What being a strong woman actually means: "I was always that girl — I just didn't know it yet" * What she wants her daughter to learn: resilience and going after what God placed inside you * Her manifestation list: mansion, Range Rover, touring with Beyoncé and Chris Brown, choreographing for GloRilla, Megan Thee Stallion, Cardi B, and more Guest Bio Danielle P.M. Johnson is a Los Angeles-based choreographer, entrepreneur, and founder of Glow Up House and Cardio Healing. Specializing in hip hop, jazz, and majorette, she got her start on her high school marching band dance team and has spent the last several years building a platform that centers the whole story of the artist — not just the highlight reel. Her nonprofit organization has helped dancers get booked for major performance opportunities including the New York City Times Square New Year's Eve ball drop. Connect with Danielle 🌐 Glow Up House: https://www.theglowuphaus.club/ [https://www.theglowuphaus.club/] (Merch, one-on-one dance classes, weekly Zoom calls, monthly events, and community membership) Enjoying the Show? If this conversation resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it. And please take a moment to follow, subscribe, rate, and review Everything & Anything…and a Bit Gay — it makes a real difference in helping more people find these stories. Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.