Jubilee Life Coach: Daily Meditations
Is it better to stay singe?
Description
Beginning in chapter 7, Paul enters a new phase. He opens with the phrase, "Now concerning the matters about which you wrote" — meaning he is no longer raising his own concerns, but answering questions the Corinthians themselves sent him. We only have one side of the correspondence. But reading his replies, the shape of their questions begins to emerge. It seems some in the Corinthian church had concluded that the more spiritually mature a person is, the freer they should be from physical things — that a holier life meant keeping one's distance from marriage and marital intimacy. In contemporary language, the question becomes: "Isn't singleness a holier state than marriage?" This question has recurred throughout church history. Roman Catholicism has long answered it in one direction through the institution of clerical celibacy. But Paul's answer is far more balanced, far more generous — and, in all honesty, far more consistent with the Gospel. 1부 · The Body Matters (vv. 1–7) The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:3–4 — NIV These verses were striking in the ancient world. In Greco-Roman culture, women were largely regarded as property of their husbands. The very idea of granting wives equal standing in this domain was exceptional. Yet Paul says exactly that: the husband's body belongs to the wife, and the wife's body belongs to the husband. This is mutual accountability within the covenant of marriage. Tim Keller, in a 2005 leadership talk at Redeemer Presbyterian Church, described marital intimacy as a covenant renewal — a way of saying in physical terms, "I belong completely, totally, and exclusively to you." Paul is not embarrassed by the body. He treats it as a gift from God and an expression of the marriage covenant. Paul then says: do not deprive one another — except by mutual agreement, for a limited season of prayer. And after that, come back together. Otherwise, Satan may find an opening through lack of self-control. (v. 5) This warning is not an encouragement toward asceticism. It is exactly the opposite. Paul is actively commending physical intimacy within marriage. Then, in verse 7, Paul reveals his own heart. He wishes that everyone were as he is — that is, single. But he immediately adds: each person has their own gift from God, one kind or another. Calvin, in his commentary on 1 Corinthians (available at the Christian Classics Ethereal Library), identifies this as "a singular token of modesty" (Calvin, Commentary on 1 Corinthians, 7:7): Paul is endowed with the gift of continency but does not impose his own standard on others. To require celibacy of those who do not have that gift is to work against God's own design. Reformed Note The Council of Trent (1563) declared celibacy superior to marriage for those entering holy orders. The Reformers — Calvin above all — rejected this as an unwarranted hierarchy not found in Scripture. For Calvin, marriage is a legitimate calling and a God-given remedy, not a concession to weakness. Neither state is inherently closer to God. What matters is whether a person is living faithfully within the calling God has given them. 2부 · Singleness Is Not a Consolation Prize (vv. 8–9) Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Corinthians 7:8–9 — NIV The phrase "it is better to marry than to burn with passion" is sometimes read as though marriage were a lesser option. But that is exactly the wrong reading. Paul's point is this: if God has given you the gift of marriage, use it. Forcing yourself into a celibacy you were never given is not a mark of holiness — it is a setup for failure. By the same logic, a church culture that regards single people as those who "haven't found someone yet" also conflicts with Paul's theology. Singleness is not second-class citizenship. It is also a gift from God. Singleness is a gift from God. Marriage is a gift from God. Neither one saves you. Neither one defines you. What defines you is your union with Christ alone. 3부 · The Gospel Holds the Marriage (vv. 10–16) From verse 10, Paul turns to those who are already married. And here he does something he does rarely — he explicitly appeals to the Lord's own teaching: do not divorce. This is not merely Paul's personal opinion. He grounds his instruction in what Jesus himself commanded, reflecting the teaching of Jesus found in Mark 10 and Matthew 5 and 19. In a world where divorce was relatively accessible in both Roman and Jewish culture, this was a genuinely new and demanding word — and likely unfamiliar to many Corinthian believers. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 1 Corinthians 7:14 — NIV This verse requires careful reading. Paul is not saying the unbelieving spouse is automatically saved. He is saying something more subtle: the very presence of a believing spouse brings that household into the sphere of God's grace. The children grow up within contact of the covenant community. This connects to what Reformed theology calls covenant nurture — salvation is not automatic, but the means of grace are at work in that home in a real and meaningful way. But what if the unbelieving spouse chooses to leave? Paul says: let them go. "A brother or a sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace." (v. 15) And then comes verse 16 — one of the most quietly hopeful lines in the chapter: "How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?" This is the language of hope, not abandonment. You do not know what God might yet do. To remain faithful in that uncertainty — that is to live as a person of the Gospel. Neither marriage nor singleness saves us. Christ alone saves us. And within that freedom of the Gospel, we are freed to glorify God in whatever calling we have been given. Coaching Questions Status How do you honestly feel about your current relationship status — married or single? Is there a story you've been telling yourself about it that might look different in light of what Paul says here? Surrender Within your marriage or your life as a single person, where are you still holding something back — from God or from the person He has placed in your life? What might change if you were to surrender that place? Sanctification Paul says the believing spouse becomes a channel of grace within the home. Who is closest to you right now — family, colleague, or friend — and what does your presence communicate to them? Is the grace that lives in you reaching them? Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2601934/support]
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