Out Late With David

Summary   In this interview David Cotton speaks with John Duerler who shares his journey of self-discovery as a gay man, navigating the complexities of coming out to his family and the challenges of maintaining relationships. He discusses the importance of being true to oneself, the supportive reactions from his family, and the creation of a community for gay fathers. John emphasizes the significance of open communication and offers advice for others in similar situations, highlighting that they are not alone in their struggles.   Keywords   coming out, LGBTQ, family dynamics, self-discovery, relationships, gay fathers, acceptance, mental health, personal growth, community support   Takeaways   * John's journey of self-discovery began in childhood. * He dated women for many years before coming out. * Family support played a crucial role in his coming out process. * John's children reacted positively to his coming out. * He emphasizes the importance of therapy in understanding one's identity. * John's relationship with his wife remains amicable despite their separation. * He created a community for gay fathers to share experiences. * John's podcast aims to help others navigate similar journeys. * He believes in the power of open communication within families. * John encourages others to seek help and support during their journey.  Sound Bites "I had to be true to myself." "I want to come work for you." "It gets better." "You're not alone." "Be true to yourself. Get help."   Audio Chapters     00:00 Introduction to Coming Out Journeys 03:00 Early Experiences and Realizations 05:55 Navigating Relationships and Family Dynamics 08:49 The Impact of Family and Support Systems 12:13 Coming Out to Family and Friends 15:10 Creating a Supportive Community 18:02 Reflections on Dating and Relationships 20:46 Advice for Others on Their Journey 24:07 Conclusion and Resources Book Recommendation:  Fashionably Late: Gay, Bi, and Trans Men Who Came Out Later in Life, edited by Vinnie Kinsella.   https://a.co/d/dh3N2yM [https://a.co/d/dh3N2yM]   Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com [https://www.outlatewithdavid.com/]   YouTube Edition:  https://youtu.be/0Dx2jCfpzlQ [https://youtu.be/0Dx2jCfpzlQ]   YouTube Channel:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg]   Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton:  https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com [https://www.davidcottoncoaching.com/]   Contact me:  mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com [https://davidcottoncoaching.com] © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

In this conversation, David Cotton speaks with David Nygaard about his journey of coming out as gay later in life. They discuss the challenges of recognizing one's identity in a society that often stigmatizes homosexuality, the complexities of navigating relationships and marriage, and the impact of a significant health crisis on Nygaard's life. Nygaard shares his experiences of embracing authenticity, his political aspirations, and the importance of open communication in relationships. The conversation concludes with advice for those in mixed orientation marriages, emphasizing the need for self-acceptance and seeking professional guidance.  David also offers advice for others who may be struggling with their identity and relationships.   Keywords   coming out, LGBTQ+, self-discovery, relationships, authenticity, heart attack, personal growth, life changes, gay marriage, mental health   Takeaways   * Coming out later in life can be a complex journey. * David Nygaard's story reflects the complexities of self-discovery. * Growing up, he felt an early attraction to men but lacked the language to express it. * He wore a metaphorical mask to hide his true self. * His involvement in evangelical Christianity was a way to escape depression. * David's marriage was filled with happiness despite his hidden sexuality. * The divorce allowed him to explore his identity more freely. * He experienced a life-changing heart attack that prompted a reevaluation of his life. * Authenticity became a priority after his health crisis. * Political activism can be a way to impact the community positively. * It's important to seek therapy to navigate mixed orientation marriages. * David Cotton emphasizes the importance of dating oneself before seeking a partner. * He encourages others to seek therapy to navigate their feelings.  Sound Bites   * "My story reads like a soap opera." * "I always had an affinity or an attraction to guys." * "We grew up in an age where it was illegal to be gay." * "I put on what I'd say is a three foot mask."   Audio Chapters   00:00 Awakening to Identity 05:40 Navigating Relationships and Marriage 10:02 Embracing Authenticity Post-Divorce 18:16 Health Crisis and Life Changes 24:32 Political Aspirations and Community Impact 27:55 Building a New Relationship 30:47 Advice for Those in Mixed Orientation Marriages   Book Recommendation:  “Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi?” by Joe Kort. https://a.co/d/0J2egb1 [https://a.co/d/0J2egb1]   Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com [https://www.outlatewithdavid.com/]   YouTube Edition:  https://youtu.be/4ius0O4Y_8U [https://youtu.be/4ius0O4Y_8U] YouTube Channel:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg]   Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton:  https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com [https://www.davidcottoncoaching.com/]   Contact me:  david@davidcottoncoaching.com [https://davidcottoncoaching.com] © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Summary   Brian Janes, a successful real estate broker, came out as gay at age 49 after 26 years of marriage. He loved being married and had a strong connection with his wife, but deep down, he had a sexual desire that didn't match up with her. After years of therapy and self-help, his wife eventually told him she wanted a divorce. Brian knew he was gay from a young age but didn't know how to embrace it. He suppressed his true self and lived in fear of being found out. After his divorce, he made the decision to come out and started a podcast for men coming out later in life.   Keywords:  comingout, marriage, divorce, self-discovery, suppression, fear, loneliness, podcast, outlate, gay, alwaysgay   Takeaways Suppressing your true self can lead to frustration and strain in relationships. Coming out later in life can be a difficult and lonely process. Embracing your true self can lead to personal growth and a more fulfilling life. Sharing your story and being vulnerable can help others going through similar experiences.   Titles The Journey of Coming Out Later in Life Embracing Your True Self and Finding Personal Growth   Sound Bites "Don't Let Your Wonder Turn Into Closure" "Here I Am, a Proud Gay Man" "You're Not Alone, We're All Out Here"   Chapters (audio) 00:00 Introduction: Brian James' Journey 01:15 The Love and Connection of Marriage 03:11 The Strain and Separation in Divorce 04:09 Suppressing Identity and Fear of Coming Out 08:27 Embracing Authenticity and Self-Discovery 14:13 Coming Out to Ex-Wife and Children 18:12 Starting the Podcast: Coming Inside Out 23:09 Loneliness and Struggles After Coming Out 28:14 Advice for Married Men Struggling with Acceptance 30:31 Conclusion: Forgiving and Loving Yourself   Chapters (video) 00:00 Introduction and Background 03:04 Suppressing True Self in a Marriage 07:50 The Decision to Come Out 10:43 The Power of Wonder and Curiosity 13:36 Coming Out to Ex-Wife and Children 17:23 Exploring the New World 19:17 Regrets and Self-Kindness 21:2 0Loneliness and Self-Discovery 24:19 Starting the Podcast 27:37 Advice for Married Men Struggling with Acceptance 29:54 Summary and Closing   Song Lyric Reflection: Ben Platt's "Older."  * Older lyrics:  https://www.google.com/search?q=ben+platt+older+lyrics&oq=ben+platt+older+lyrics&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIKCAEQABiABBiiBDIKCAIQABiABBiiBNIBCDQ2NzdqMGo3qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8 [https://www.google.com/search?q=ben+platt+older+lyrics&oq=ben+platt+older+lyrics&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIKCAEQABiABBiiBDIKCAIQABiABBiiBNIBCDQ2NzdqMGo3qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8] * Older on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_sADbvPmzE [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_sADbvPmzE]   Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com [https://www.outlatewithdavid.com/]   YouTube Edition:    https://youtu.be/n3Iuqhu2K5M [https://youtu.be/n3Iuqhu2K5M]  YouTube Channel:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg]   Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton:  https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com [https://www.davidcottoncoaching.com/]   Contact me:  mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com [https://davidcottoncoaching.com] © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Summary   Ron Bunnell shares his journey of coming out as gay later in life and the impact it had on his marriage. Despite initial fears, Ron's wife, Barb, showed love and support, and they were able to rebuild their relationship. Ron emphasizes the importance of being authentic and true to oneself, even if it means facing challenges. He also highlights the significance of finding support from others in similar situations. Ron's story serves as an inspiration for those navigating mixed orientation marriages and coming out later in life.   Keywords coming out, late in life, marriage, support, authenticity   Takeaways * Coming out later in life can be a challenging journey, but it is worth pursuing authenticity and being true to oneself. * Support from loved ones, like Ron's wife Barb, can make a significant difference in navigating the complexities of a mixed orientation marriage. * Finding a support group or community of individuals in similar situations can provide valuable guidance and understanding. * Ron's story highlights the importance of love, acceptance, and open-mindedness in relationships and families. Sound Bites * "I literally thought my life would end as I knew it" * "She wanted me to text her updates on what's going on" * "I have young friends who don't even have a coming out story, I'm just myself" Chapters 00:00 - Introduction: David Cotton's Out Late Podcast 01:13- Ron's Decision to Come Out to His Wife 03:11- Barb's Surprising Reaction and the Rebuilding of Their Relationship 08:27- Challenges and Complications in Ron's Journey 13:43- Ron's Childhood and Early Signs of His Sexual Orientation 17:53- The Social and Cultural Context of Ron's Coming Out Journey 19:19- The Impact of Ron's Sexual Orientation on His Marriage 22:00- Finding Support and Meeting Scott 25:14- The Kidney Donation and Its Impact on Ron and Barb's Relationship 28:36- Barb's Lasting Support and Ron's Advice for Others 33:02- Closing Remarks: Ron's Inspiring Journey   Book Recommendation:  Over the Cliff: Gay Husbands in Straight Marriages – Bonnie Kaye and Doug Dittmer - https://a.co/d/cMEgHNO [https://a.co/d/cMEgHNO]   Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com [https://www.outlatewithdavid.com/]   YouTube Edition:  https://youtu.be/ep8EEuvEn1U  YouTube Channel:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg]   Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton:  https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com [https://www.davidcottoncoaching.com/]   Contact me:  mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com [https://davidcottoncoaching.com] © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Summary David's guest, Brian, first came out to his wife over 20 years ago but chose to stay married for the sake of his family.   It took ten years for him to decide it was time to live a different kind of life. Today, at age 59 he can finally say he’s “found his tribe.”  Takeaways * The struggle of coming out after being married for 20 years * The impact of coming out on family, work, and community * Finding a supportive LGBTQ+ community and a sense of belonging * The relief of embracing authenticity and self-discovery Chapters 00:00  The Struggle of Coming Out After 20 Years of Marriage 05:57  Finding Support and Belonging in the LGBTQ+ Community 11:41  Embracing Authenticity and Self-Discovery After Coming Out Book Recommendation: Gay Men and The New Way Forward, by Raymond L. Rigoglioso - https://a.co/d/7uByFA9 [https://a.co/d/7uByFA9] Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com [https://www.outlatewithdavid.com/]   YouTube Edition:    https://youtu.be/X5L6lz_TX64 YouTube Channel:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg]   Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton:  https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com [https://www.davidcottoncoaching.com/]   Contact me:  mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com [https://davidcottoncoaching.com]     © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.