Reclaiming the Gentle Man

Ep. 51 - Avoiding to Accountability (Your Reconnection Code, Part 2)

16 min · 7. maj 2026
episode Ep. 51 - Avoiding to Accountability (Your Reconnection Code, Part 2) cover

Description

This is part 2 of a 5-part series on the disconnection patterns — the tendencies that turn small moments into full-blown conflict. In this episode we get into what avoiding actually is, how it differs from suppressing, and why it tends to be the most damaging of the five. We talk about the man who can't tell his partner he might lose his job, the guy who knows he should stop drinking but never quite does, and the way our minds get clever about hiding the things we're most afraid to face. Then we get specific about what it actually takes to move from avoiding to accountability — starting with one question you can ask yourself in the middle of the pattern. If anything in this episode is landing, find out which of the five disconnection patterns is most active in your relationship right now. Take the free 3-minute Reconnection Code quiz: your-reconnection-code.lovable.app [https://your-reconnection-code.lovable.app] For deeper work on conflict and reconnection, the Pain-Free Conflict workshop is here: painfreeconflict.lovable.app [painfreeconflict.lovable.app] Find me on Instagram: @dave_lishansky [https://www.instagram.com/dave_lishansky/]

Comments

0

Be the first to comment

Sign up now and become a member of the Reclaiming the Gentle Man community!

Get Started

1 month for 9 kr.

Then 99 kr. / month · Cancel anytime.

  • Podcasts kun på Podimo
  • 20 lydbogstimer pr. måned
  • Gratis podcasts

All episodes

61 episodes

episode Ep. 58 - Why You Feel Nothing When You Try to Feel with Parm Bains artwork

Ep. 58 - Why You Feel Nothing When You Try to Feel with Parm Bains

In this episode, we get into how the questions we often begin with when we start to do the work can lead us to dead ends, and how and why the mind hijacks your inner work by turning it into performance. My guest Parm Bains is a brilliant coach. In this episode, he shares his own story about losing his father, his insights into getting free of the mind's traps, and what happens when we choose from a place of peace instead of fear. The numbness you keep hitting isn't a malfunction. It's a strategy. You built it because it worked... and it's still doing its job. Mentioned in this episode * Connect with Parm: https://www.parmbains.com/ [https://www.parmbains.com/] | Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parmbainsflow/ [https://www.instagram.com/parmbainsflow/] * Take the free Reconnection Code assessment: https://your-reconnection-code.lovable.app [https://your-reconnection-code.lovable.app] * More from Dave: davelishansky.com [davelishansky.com]

Yesterday58 min
episode Ep. 57 - The Escape Hatch That's Prolonging Every Fight artwork

Ep. 57 - The Escape Hatch That's Prolonging Every Fight

Most of us were taught that great communication is the foundation of a great relationship. But that idea has a shadow side nobody talks about — and it's  making your fights longer, harder, and more damaging than they need to be. In this episode, we name the hidden expectation that turns a solvable moment of frustration into a full-blown conflict: your need for justice. The belief that before you listen, before you soften, before you show up — she needs to earn it. That expectation is an escape hatch. And every time you take it, you miss the moment that could have changed everything. Mentioned in this episode: Find out how you show up in conflict — take the free Reconnection Code assessment: your-reconnection-code.lovable.app [your-reconnection-code.lovable.app] Learn more about Dave's work: davelishansky.com [http://davelishansky.com/] Connect on Instagram: @dave_lishansky [https://www.instagram.com/dave_lishansky/]

26. juni 202615 min
episode Ep. 56 - When the Honeymoon Phase Ends artwork

Ep. 56 - When the Honeymoon Phase Ends

We've all heard the old story about the honeymoon phase — the spark fades, the attraction cools, and what's left is companionship if you're lucky. This episode flips that. What if the end of the honeymoon phase isn't a slide into boredom, but an invitation into the relationship you've actually been looking for all along? We get into what keeps two people attracted and alive together long after the newness wears off — and why so much of it comes down to letting the struggle in your relationship change you, instead of quietly building the case against her in your head. We also sit with the harder side of this: what happens when you're the one being resented, and how much agency you still have in that moment. It comes back to being seen in your wholeness — fallible, human, still growing — and why that, not freshness, is the stuff of long-lasting love. If conflict keeps spiraling out of nowhere, the free assessment below will help you find the pattern underneath it. Don't go it alone. Mentioned in this episode * Reconnection Code assessment (free, 3 minutes): https://your-reconnection-code.lovable.app [https://your-reconnection-code.lovable.app] * Pain-Free Conflict workshop: https://painfreeconflict.lovable.app [https://painfreeconflict.lovable.app] * Instagram: @dave_lishansky [https://www.instagram.com/dave_lishansky/]

19. juni 202615 min
episode Ep. 18 - The Nice Guy Problem (Re-Air) artwork

Ep. 18 - The Nice Guy Problem (Re-Air)

Most of us were never taught that being nice could be the problem. In this episode, we get underneath one of the most common — and most invisible — patterns men carry into their closest relationships: the nice guy default. Not cruelty, not neglect, but something harder to see. A performance of goodness that functions as armor, keeping real presence, real emotion, and real accountability safely out of reach. Links: Find your disconnection pattern — take the free Reconnection Code assessment: https://your-reconnection-code.lovable.app [https://your-reconnection-code.lovable.app] Ready to go deeper? Join the Pain-Free Conflict workshop: https://painfreeconflict.lovable.app [https://painfreeconflict.lovable.app] Connect with Dave on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dave_lishansky/ [https://www.instagram.com/dave_lishansky/]

12. juni 202618 min