The Art of Showing Up

CHAPTER 59 - I CAN'T KEEP EXPLAINING MYSELF TO CLOSED DOORS

35 min · 8. juni 2026
episode CHAPTER 59 - I CAN'T KEEP EXPLAINING MYSELF TO CLOSED DOORS cover

Description

Have you ever had the feeling that someone stopped listening before you even finished explaining yourself? Not disagreement or conflict. Just that heavy realization that somebody already chose a version of you before hearing your side fully. This week on The Art of Showing Up, we’re talking about the emotional exhaustion of being misunderstood — especially when it happens repeatedly, and especially when it comes from people we hoped would know us better than that. We explore: * the stories people build about each other * being judged through assumptions, reputation, or old versions of ourselves * the emotional labor of overexplaining * what happens when proof changes nothing * the nervous system impact of chronic misinterpretation * uneven loyalty in relationships * and how to stop abandoning yourself trying to force understanding from emotionally closed spaces This episode is not about becoming cold or detached. It’s about learning how to protect your peace without losing your softness. Because some doors are not locked because you failed to explain yourself well enough. Sometimes they were never truly open to begin with. If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who’s been carrying the weight of feeling unseen. CONNECT + SUPPORT: If this episode landed in a place where you felt moved, I hope it helps you breathe a little bit better. As always, follow, rate, and review the show -- be part of this wonderful little community's growth. And make sure to share this and any other episode with those you love and care about and on social media. Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup] Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick] Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theartofshowingup.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theartofshowingup.org/] 📩 DM me on IG 💬 Or message me on Facebook or the website! You can stay anonymous. You can be real. No story is too small.

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67 episodes

episode CHAPTER 65 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO TURN EVERYTHING INTO A LESSON. artwork

CHAPTER 65 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO TURN EVERYTHING INTO A LESSON.

Sometimes something just sucked. Not every heartbreak needs a silver lining. Not every loss needs to become a gift. Not every painful experience owes you—or anyone else—a life lesson. Some things simply hurt. In this episode, Jes explores our tendency to search for meaning before we’ve even given ourselves permission to feel. Together, we’ll unpack why we’re so uncomfortable with unfinished stories, why we rush to call people “strong,” and why healing doesn’t require you to be grateful for everything you’ve survived. This isn’t an episode against growth. It’s an invitation to stop forcing it. Because maybe you can heal and still wish it never happened. Maybe you can be proud of who you’ve become without thanking what hurt you. Maybe honesty is enough. IN THIS EPISODE: * Why our brains are desperate to make sense of pain * The pressure to turn every experience into a lesson * The complicated relationship many of us have with being called “strong” * Why you don’t owe anyone a silver lining * The difference between authentic growth and forced meaning * Why some lessons simply weren’t worth the cost * Giving yourself permission to let painful things be exactly what they were If this conversation resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who has been trying to find meaning in something that simply hurts. They may not need another lesson. They may just need permission to be human. CONNECT + SUPPORT: If this episode landed in a place where you felt moved, I hope it helps you breathe a little bit better. As always, follow, rate, and review the show -- be part of this wonderful little community's growth. And make sure to share this and any other episode with those you love and care about and on social media. Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup] Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick] Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theartofshowingup.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theartofshowingup.org/] 📩 DM me on IG 💬 Or message me on Facebook or the website! You can stay anonymous. You can be real. No story is too small.

20. juli 202639 min
episode CHAPTER 64 - SHOWING UP WHEN HOPE GETS EXPENSIVE artwork

CHAPTER 64 - SHOWING UP WHEN HOPE GETS EXPENSIVE

Have you ever typed out a text…and then deleted it? Not because you were upset. Not because you changed your mind. You just looked at it and thought, “Eh…I’ll figure it out.” What if that moment isn’t about texting at all? What if it’s about something much deeper? In this episode, we’re talking about the quiet ways repeated disappointment changes us—not through one life-altering event, but through hundreds of tiny moments that slowly reshape our habits, our expectations, and even the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. This isn’t a conversation about blame. It isn’t about loneliness. And it definitely isn’t about giving up. It’s about recognizing the subtle ways our nervous systems adapt in an effort to protect us…and asking whether those adaptations are still serving us today. If you’ve ever wondered when “I can handle it” quietly became “I guess I have to,” this conversation is for you. IN THIS EPISODE: * Why we rarely notice ourselves changing while it’s happening. * The difference between identity and adaptation. * What it means when “hope gets expensive.” * How independence can sometimes begin as survival. * Why understanding someone’s intentions doesn’t erase their impact. * The quiet things we stop sharing. * The difference between needing someone to fix your life and simply wanting someone to witness it. * How awareness often becomes the first step toward healing. FAVORITE QUOTE: “Sometimes we don’t need answers. Sometimes we just want witnesses.” LISTENER REFLECTION: What have you quietly stopped sharing? Not because you wanted to, but because somewhere along the way, it simply became easier not to? CONNECT + SUPPORT: If this episode landed in a place where you felt moved, I hope it helps you breathe a little bit better. As always, follow, rate, and review the show -- be part of this wonderful little community's growth. And make sure to share this and any other episode with those you love and care about and on social media. Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup] Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick] Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theartofshowingup.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theartofshowingup.org/] 📩 DM me on IG 💬 Or message me on Facebook or the website! You can stay anonymous. You can be real. No story is too small.

13. juli 202639 min
episode CHAPTER 63 - SHOWING UP BEFORE YOU FEEL READY artwork

CHAPTER 63 - SHOWING UP BEFORE YOU FEEL READY

What if confidence isn’t supposed to come first? What if we’ve been waiting for the wrong thing? In this episode of The Art of Showing Up, Jes explores the relationship between confidence, fear, self-trust, and the myth of feeling ready before we begin. Together, we’ll talk about: 🔥 why confidence isn’t the starting line 🔥 the myth of readiness 🔥 why fear feels so convincing 🔥 the difference between being scared and being incapable 🔥 micro-bravery and small acts of courage 🔥 nervous systems and self-trust 🔥 checking the receipts on your own resilience 🔥 showing up authentically instead of performing confidence This isn’t an episode about becoming fearless. It’s about learning how to move before fear leaves. Because confidence isn’t usually what gets us started. More often, confidence is what grows when we discover we can trust ourselves to keep showing up. If you’ve been waiting to feel ready… If you’ve been waiting to feel certain… If you’ve been waiting for confidence to finally arrive… This episode is for you. CONNECT + SUPPORT: If this episode landed in a place where you felt moved, I hope it helps you breathe a little bit better. As always, follow, rate, and review the show -- be part of this wonderful little community's growth. And make sure to share this and any other episode with those you love and care about and on social media. Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup] Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick] Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theartofshowingup.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theartofshowingup.org/] 📩 DM me on IG 💬 Or message me on Facebook or the website! You can stay anonymous. You can be real. No story is too small.

6. juli 202639 min
episode CHAPTER 62 - SHOWING UP WHEN YOU'RE TIRED OF PREPARING FOR GOODBYE artwork

CHAPTER 62 - SHOWING UP WHEN YOU'RE TIRED OF PREPARING FOR GOODBYE

What happens when your nervous system starts expecting loss before it even arrives? In this deeply personal episode, Jes explores the quiet exhaustion of emotionally preparing for people to leave...even while they’re still here. Not dramatic endings. Not explosive fallouts. The quieter, more complicated grief: monitoring shifts in tone, overanalyzing silence, bracing for distance, and struggling to fully relax inside love after experiencing deep loss. This episode dives into: * how grief rewires the nervous system * emotional hypervigilance in relationships * the exhaustion of being “the holder” * when anxiety starts wearing intuition’s clothes * adult friendship drift and accumulated absence * pre-grieving people before they’re gone * learning how to experience connection in the present tense again Jes also shares personal reflections from therapy and the long process of learning how to stop treating every silence like the beginning of goodbye. If you’ve ever felt emotionally packed for evacuation inside your relationships…this episode is for you. CONNECT + SUPPORT: If this episode landed in a place where you felt moved, I hope it helps you breathe a little bit better. As always, follow, rate, and review the show -- be part of this wonderful little community's growth. And make sure to share this and any other episode with those you love and care about and on social media. Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup] Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick] Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theartofshowingup.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theartofshowingup.org/] 📩 DM me on IG 💬 Or message me on Facebook or the website! You can stay anonymous. You can be real. No story is too small.

29. juni 202630 min
episode CHAPTER 61 - SHOWING UP WITHOUT PERMISSION artwork

CHAPTER 61 - SHOWING UP WITHOUT PERMISSION

How much of your life belongs to you? And how much of it belongs to stories you inherited from other people? In this episode, Jes explores the quiet ways we wait for permission before pursuing the lives we actually want. Permission to start. Permission to change. Permission to create. Permission to leave. Permission to take up space. Together, we unpack the beliefs we never consciously chose, the expectations we learned to carry, and the survival strategies that may have once protected us but now keep us stuck. We talk about self-abandonment, envy as a compass, the grief of becoming disconnected from ourselves, and what it means to trust our own voice again after years of listening to everyone else’s. This conversation is for anyone who has ever found themselves standing at the edge of something they deeply wanted while waiting for confidence, certainty, validation, or approval to arrive first. Because maybe the question isn’t whether you’re allowed to want the life that’s calling to you. Maybe the question is what happens when you finally stop asking. IN THIS EPISODE: • The hidden ways we wait for permission without realizing it • Why inherited beliefs often feel like facts • The difference between contentment and resignation • The quiet grief of self-abandonment • How envy can reveal what matters most to us • Why growth often requires “weeding the garden” • Rebuilding self-trust one small promise at a time • Taking ownership of a life that already belongs to you LISTENER REFLECTION: What permission are you still waiting for? And what is one small step you could take if nobody ever handed it to you? CONNECT + SUPPORT: If this episode resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. What permission have you been waiting for? What dream, idea, conversation, or next chapter keeps showing up in your life? Share your thoughts, stories, and reflections with us on social media or by email. Your story may help someone else realize they’re not alone. And make sure to share this and any other episode with those you love and care about and on social media. Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup] Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick] Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theartofshowingup.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theartofshowingup.org/] 📩 DM me on IG 💬 Or message me on Facebook or the website! You can stay anonymous. You can be real. No story is too small. REMEMBER: You do not have to prove your life makes sense to everyone else before you’re allowed to live it. You do not have to earn the right to want what you want. And you do not have to wait for permission to become who you already are.

22. juni 202639 min