Ancient Lessons for a Modern Life with Adam Teitelbaum

We contain multitudes - Parshat Korach 5786

Not too long ago, I came home from a long work trip to a lackluster reentry. Turning into the driveway, I envisioned my triumphant return in the form of a dogpile in the doorway, followed by a lovely dinner filled with adoration and appreciation. What I walked into for real was the usual managed chaos and general underwhelm for my reappearance. No ribbons, no balloons. Only, “Daddy what’d you get me?” and “Can you grab the chicken out of the oven?” Deflated, I felt…deflated. Incidental. Hardly the hero’s welcome. And instead of recalibrating, I retreated into a pout. Yes. A pout. Which turned into a three-day stew. The unfortunate irony is that I knew instantly I’d missed an opportunity to become the husband and father I aspire to be.

In Our Own Eyes - Parshat Shelach Lecha 5786

June is Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, and the most useful thing I can do isn't write about male vulnerability in the abstract. I can tell you what it feels like for me.

You Were Never Meant to Carry This Alone - Parshat Behaalotecha 5786

This week I’m reading the Torah portion, Behaalotecha. This is a very consequential and intense parsha in which Moses has a challenging moment with the Israelites leading to a complete crisis of confidence in his own leadership. It’s one year since the Exodus and the Israelites are complaining voraciously to G-d — particularly about the food. They have been receiving a daily miracle from heaven, manna, as sustenance, but are complaining they’re tired of manna and long for the meat and vegetables they enjoyed in Egypt. As THE advocate for his people, and frustrated he’s going it alone, Moses unloads on G-d.

The Oldest Aspiration - Parshat Naso 5786

Most days I'm so mired in the logistics of parenting, navigating the emotional and physical needs of our family alongside my wife, that my highest aspiration is brushing my teeth before bed. In the brief moments I lift my gaze and think about the men I hope my sons will become, I find that my default is to project onto them all the accomplishments I’ve never accomplished. If this is a way to remediate my own shortcomings, then it says something uncomfortable about how I’ve measured my own self-worth for as long as I can remember. So then how do I create a new aspiration paradigm for my boys – one rooted in elevating their sense of self-worth?

The Shavuahthon - Shavuot 5786

The first time I lived on my own, my toilet broke. I called a plumber. He drove across town, walked into the bathroom, reached into the tank, reattached a small rubber stopper, and handed me a bill for $250. The part costs $5 at the hardware store. The fix takes ninety seconds once you know what you're looking at. I now know what I’m looking at. My Grandpa Harry would have been aghast. Almost every clear memory I have of him begins with the phrase, “let me get my glasses …” followed by an enduring solution. He hemmed all his own pants, built the dining room table now living with us, and resuscitated the toys I broke playing too enthusiastically. I cherished watching him in those moments, not a little awestruck. Every action was filled with love and devotion. Unfortunately, I can’t recall a time he said, “Adam, today I will show you how to sew on a button,” but that’s another essay.