The Fake News Fairy Tale

The Fake News Fairy Tale

THE RIND KING: ACT II, Scene 4 In this scene, the Rind King’s careless rhetoric becomes a literal instrument of death. As the E-Men advance through the North without fear, conscience, or independent thought, the King replaces military discipline with one simple command: “Stab first, ask questions later.” The consequences arrive almost immediately—and even the Muskrat Wizard cannot optimize his way out of them. In this Episode: Protocol Double-Alpha: After learning that E-Men have destroyed a sacred shrine and killed noncombatants, the King dismisses the tragedy as a successful operation. General Marius protests, but restraint is officially replaced by indiscriminate violence. The Wizard’s Final Update: The Muskrat Wizard rushes into the tent with urgent news—only to be stabbed by a soldier following the King’s new command with perfect literal obedience. As Muskrat is dragged away insisting he is “not dead yet,” the King promotes his killer to the newly formed Ass-Men. The General Breaks Rank: Marius’s secret relationship with Lyra is exposed, along with the accidental destruction caused by their combustible romance. When Marius attempts to resign, the King fires, condemns, banishes, and unsuccessfully orders him killed—only to discover that no one in the tent is brave enough to confront the heavily armed general. A Ghost in the Machine: In the realm between life and death, Muskrat meets Mother Fairy, who informs him that his riches, technology, and influence are now worthless. To save his soul, he must haunt the man whose vanity and ambition destroyed him: the Rind King. Featured Song: “ERROR 404” — Mother Fairy delivers an irreverent funeral anthem for the fallen tech wizard. Filled with crashed servers, fatal hacks, failed reboots, and increasingly distracting romantic advice, the number turns Muskrat’s death into both a comic system failure and a reckoning for a life spent serving power. A serialized production from M. R. Furlong and Hush! CAUTION. Echoland Press.

The Fake News Fairy Tale

THE RIND KING: ACT II, Scene 3 In this scene, Queen Elara’s search for certainty leads her deeper into the glittering marketplace of manufactured wisdom. While Jingo pleads for facts and Fairy King Poutini prepares for war, celebrity oracle Dr. Wiz arrives with cosmic diagnoses, premium prophecies, and a convenient payment plan for enlightenment. In this Episode: Leadership in Reverse: Acting on Dr. Wiz’s latest revelation, Elara walks backwards through her own throne room in the belief that she is securing the future. Jingo follows behind, clearing away both the mystical clutter and the dangerous nonsense. The Oracle for Hire: Dr. Wiz diagnoses blocked chakras, toxic saddlebags, gluten damage, misaligned kundalini, and an endangered inner child—then offers salvation through cleanses, subscriptions, secret membership plans, and “one easy loan.” A Real Warning Beneath the Grift: Amid the salesmanship, Dr. Wiz receives an ominous vision: the E-Men are fighting among themselves, supplies are burning, the Orks are gathering, and the first Elf infantry has fallen. When the oracle attempts to place the full prophecy behind another premium upgrade, Poutini finally brings the consultation to an end. Featured Song: “DOCTOR WIZ” — A psychedelic wellness anthem in which fear becomes a business model and enlightenment comes with financing. The Troll Chorus supplies the symptoms while Dr. Wiz supplies the cure—whether anyone actually has the disease or not. A serialized production from M. R. Furlong and Hush! CAUTION. Echoland Press.

The Fake News Fairy Tale

THE RIND KING: ACT II, Scene 2 In this scene, a struggling troupe rehearses Julius Caesar in the Forest of Despair, preparing to perform before the very tyrant their production appears to condemn. As director and leading man Flutus worries that the play may be dangerously “on the nose,” the actors debate whether art is worth dying for—and Zavago reveals that he may be taking his role as Brutus far too seriously. In this Episode: Art Is Long, Life Is Short: Flutus rallies his impoverished players to continue their dangerous mission, insisting that words have no meaning unless the performer is willing to risk everything for them. The Method in the Madness: Clapper would prefer a version with considerably less stabbing, while Titania tries to calm his fears. Zavago, however, embraces Brutus with homicidal enthusiasm, blurring the line between theatrical performance and political assassination. Caesar in the Mirror: As the rehearsal continues, Flutus’s Caesar begins to sound disturbingly familiar—dismissing warnings as “fake news,” attacking prophets, boasting about crowds, promising walls, and declaring himself the storm. By the final line, the actors are no longer merely rehearsing ancient Rome. Featured Song: “OLD CAESAR” — Zavago transforms Caesar’s assassination into a gleefully inappropriate musical celebration. Beneath the jaunty rhythm and endless stabbing lies the scene’s darker question: when a ruler threatens the republic, where does performance end and rebellion begin? A serialized production from M. R. Furlong and Hush! CAUTION. Echoland Press.

THE RIND KING ACT: TWO, Scene 1

THE RIND KING: ACT II, Scene 1 (Revised) In this scene, the facade of the Rind King’s command tent in the Forest of Despair begins to crack. While the King remains entranced by his own reflection, the Muskrat Wizard frantically tries to manage the "E-Men"—an army of soldiers infused with the King's own narcissism. As the King dismisses logistical disasters as mere "sub-optimal" noise, the true horror of his vanity starts to set in. In this Episode: * The Narcissist’s Den: The Rind King is sequestered in his tent, ignoring the campaign maps strewn around him to focus entirely on the "cut of his jib" in his magic looking glass. * The E-Men’s Rebellion: The Muskrat Wizard discovers that the soldiers are not just "proactive"—they are unhinged, making command decisions without directives and clashing with each other as much as the enemy. * The King’s Delusion: The King refuses to see the chaos, blinded by his own "essence," convinced that an army of "elite Me’s" is the ultimate strategic masterstroke. Featured Song: "INFINITE JEST" — The Troll Chorus emerges from the shadows, their voices whispering and chuckling. This track serves as the dark, rhythmic heartbeat of the scene, mocking the "freakish" General, the "fools' gold" of the mirror, and the terrifying reality that the kingdom is "poised on rotten feet" while the forest hums with "cunning heat." A serialized production from M.R. Furlong and Hush! CAUTION. Echoland Press.

The Fake News Fairy Tale

THE RIND KING ACT: ONE, Scene 4 Welcome to the Wyrd Sisters Unfiltered podcast! Broadcasting truth-adjacent narratives from somewhere north of sanity, the magical hosts tune their crystal balls to the Rind King’s camp. Seeing his growing addiction to the cursed vanity mirror, the witches orchestrate a spectral intervention to shatter his fragile ego. In this Episode: * Stormy, Windy, and Rain analyze the Southern feed, rejoicing over the King’s skyrocketing vanity metrics and algorithmic addiction to his own reflection. * Sister Rain channels the ghost of the Rind King’s disappointed father, who brutally roasts his son's past failures—including a botched attempt to sell a prize sow for magic beans. * The King violently rejects his father’s ghostly criticisms, crying "Fake news!" and seeking comfort in his bronzed, painted visage. * The Witches plant a devastating seed of doubt about the King's capacity to love, before throwing to a sponsor break for a highly questionable alpha-male dietary supplement. Featured Songs: * "This Little Crystal Ball" – The Wyrd Sisters' eerie, upbeat intro theme as they scry into the Southern Kingdom’s doom. * "Roar More" – A hilarious, hyper-masculine commercial jingle sung by the Roar More Bros Trolls, complete with a rapid-fire FDA disclaimer. A serialized production from M.R. Furlong and Hush! CAUTION. Echoland Press.