The 50-Cent Baseball Contract, the Senate Hearing, and the Nanny Quit

Cookie Puss, Fudgy the Whale, and Stolen Valor

Matt and Henry wake up before dawn to watch Formula One in Monaco, only for disaster to strike before sunrise. Michael celebrates Olivia's birthday with Fudgy the Whale, Steve recounts an unexpected Alex Rodriguez strip-club story, and the guys debate the difference between illegal, unethical, and merely convenient. Plus: Universal Studios parking conspiracies, sports-card collections, Cape Cod recommendations, and the mystery of how Michael's father lost money at a sex show in Hamburg.

Hi, Bluey Dad

Matt and Henry spend fourteen hours at Disneyland, accidentally make new friends, and discover the joys of single-rider lines. Meanwhile, the guys debate whether teleportation counts as flying, discuss the strange state of college athletics, relive painful childhood injuries, and share stories about first impressions, family, and brother-in-law history. Plus: bat dogs, hacky sacks, Jewish Heritage Night at Fenway, and a Titanic-themed birthday party that somehow seemed like a good idea.

The Country Club Birthday Party and the Moon Landing Hoax

The guys discuss baseball rain delays, country club birthday parties, airport lounge kids, Costco Pokémon chaos, and why Michael is teaching Steve’s daughter conspiracy theories. Plus: Disney parenting strategy, moon landing denial percentages, fancy grocery stores, and the increasingly strange reality of modern American life.

Broken Jaws and Juggalos

Matt shares the results of Henry’s brutally honest school assignment ranking his favorite things in life (including “mom not home for bed”), Steve reveals the truly horrifying story of having both jaws broken twice, and Michael revisits the debate over the Lenox Millionaires high school mascot. Plus: terrible retail jobs, San Francisco hatred, gaming computers, baseball burnout, Supreme Court hypotheticals, and why no one should ever try to drink liquid pizza.

Free Bet Blackjack is a Scam (FIXED AUDIO)

Matt reunites with his entire family for the first time in 20 years at Disney, while Michael recovers from a Vegas trip that includes the mind-blowing Sphere, and a very confusing version of blackjack. Meanwhile, Steve gets locked inside a Substack party inside the White House security perimeter during the Correspondents’ Dinner (yes, really). Plus: Savannah Bananas debates, parenting chaos, forgotten subscriptions, gambling philosophy, and why rooting for bad baseball teams might actually be good for your productivity.