Your Stories Don't Define You, How You Tell Them Will

437 Pivot Point: Grief and Kindness - A Monologue from Sarah Elkins

"She stood up from across the aisle and walked over. Stopping in front of my seat, she said: 'I can see that you're struggling, and if you would rather I walk away, just say so. It's just that it looks like you could use a hug, and I'm a hugger.'" In today's episode I'm sharing a story about a pivotal moment in my life, an experience that shifted how I think about grief, and inspired me to be more compassionate with strangers. I almost said no, but something about her made me think if I did, she'd never offer this gift to a stranger again. It was almost as if she was the one who needed a hug. So I stood. She embraced me. And I cried. I guess I needed her hug after all. She held me for a few minutes, until my breathing evened out, and I thanked her as we parted. Listeners, now it's your turn: What memory popped into your head when you heard my story? What did you learn about the characters in the story? Did my story inspire you to do something differently? Jot down a note so you're ready to share your story when the opportunity arises! ----- After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show. The new format for my show aligns with what I'm learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I've been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you. My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are. ----- About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW-zrlsZPHk] speaker, DisruptHR [https://disrupthr.co/vimeo-video/show-dont-tell-why-your-stories-win-at-work-sarah-elkins-disrupthr-talks/] speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening. Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website [https://elkinsconsulting.com/books] to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

436 Pivot Point: A Path-Changing Letter - A Monologue with Sarah Elkins

Driving home from a volunteer shift at the Old Salt Festival near Helmville, Montana, I listened to the last hour of the book The Correspondent by Virginia Evans. As I listened to the characters reflect on their lives to share with others via handwritten letter (and a few emails), I was reminded of the great conversation I shared on this podcast with Amy Daughters, author of Dear Dana. As I mentioned in last week's episode, I was recently inspired to change the format of this show. The new format for my show aligns with what I'm learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and what I'm learning about emotional intelligence through a course I'm taking. My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are. My future guests will be given a story prompt ahead of our call, and instead of a long, organic, multi-insight conversation, we'll dive more deeply into a single story, pulling a thread and revealing a primary insight about the experience, and leaving space for you – our listeners – to remember your own related experience and pull a thread that has the potential to guide you toward deeper self-awareness. I'll be eager to hear your thoughts about this new format, so please don't hesitate to send me a message via social media or email! In today's episode I'm sharing a story about a pivotal moment in my personal life, a long relationship that continues to influence my life and how I experience the world. Mentioned in this episode: * The Correspondent [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/223001257-the-correspondent] by Virginia Evans * Amy Daughters [https://www.amydaughters.com/], author of Dear Dana, speaker, humorist * Old Salt Festival [https://www.oldsaltco-op.com/pages/festival], Helmville Montana Listeners, now it's your turn: Did my story remind you of something that happened to you? What memory popped into your head when you heard it? What did you learn about me as a person? Did my story inspire you to pick up a pen and leave a note for someone you care about? What's your related pivotal moment? About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW-zrlsZPHk] speaker, DisruptHR [https://disrupthr.co/vimeo-video/show-dont-tell-why-your-stories-win-at-work-sarah-elkins-disrupthr-talks/] speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening. Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website [https://elkinsconsulting.com/books] to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

435 Pivot Point: A Moment of Doubt - a monologue from Sarah Elkins

In a moment of inspiration on one of my hikes, I realized that after more than 430 episodes, this show is overdue for a format change. For the book I'm writing, a companion to my recently published TEDx talk [https://youtu.be/pqYQwyxfx44], I'm exploring research around narrative identity, which is the way the stories we share influence who we are, and self-awareness as defined by present-day psychologists. The new format for my show aligns with what I'm learning, and my hope is that future episodes will offer additional insights for the book, my guests, and our listeners. In today's episode I'm sharing a story about a pivotal moment in my business, a situation that had me questioning everything about the direction I had taken, the investments I made in time, energy, and money, and what transpired to get me through that experience to land on the other side with confirmation and a bit more confidence. "... I had less than 4 weeks to cram in 50+ one-hour, one-to-one sessions. It was like being immersed in a foreign language, bringing me to a level of understanding and insight with this tool that I'm not sure I could have achieved so quickly in any other circumstance. It was amazing and exhausting." Listeners, now it's your turn: Did my story remind you of something that happened to you? What memory popped into your head when you heard it? What did you learn about me as a person? Did you learn what I do without hearing it directly? I can say "I'm a gallup-certified StrengthsFinder coach", but that's not meaningful and doesn't give you useful information about what that might mean for you or for a friend you might refer to me, right? What's a pivotal story in your career? Thanks for listening to Your Stories Don't Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website, elkinsconsulting.com to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about strengthsfinder, storytelling, public speaking. About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW-zrlsZPHk] speaker, DisruptHR [https://disrupthr.co/vimeo-video/show-dont-tell-why-your-stories-win-at-work-sarah-elkins-disrupthr-talks/] speaker, public s peaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening. Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website [https://elkinsconsulting.com/books] to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

434: Writing Other People's Stories with Lana McAra

"Someone said to me recently, 'You're so lucky that you get to work at home and do this stuff.' And I said, 'Luck has nothing to do with it. I consciously created my life. I love it because it's mine. I made it.'" In this episode, podcast host Sarah Elkins and ghostwriter and publisher Lana McAra discuss Lana's unique approach to publishing and her deep understanding of what it takes to be an effective ghost writer for fiction and nonfiction books. Lana grew up in an Amish community in Pennsylvania, but wasn't raised in an Amish household. Growing up on the edge of that tightknit community fostered her ability to provide a detached, professional listening style, allowing Lana to draw out client vulnerability without personal entanglement. Her approach to ghost writing and guiding authors in her publishing business is "co-creation". She's a guide, someone who listens to ideas and gently engages the writer or co-creator with questions that shift the conversation, pulling a thread that the co-creator might not have even noticed was unraveling - in a beautiful, thoughtful way. Highlights: * "Slow Down and Listen" is her Guiding Principle: A personal realization that "life is lived in between" the big events drives Lana's practice of slowing down to be fully present, which she sees as the key to connection. * Lana's active listening—reflecting back her nearly 80 year old client's ideas simplified his complex philosophical ideas into simpler terms—and made him feel truly understood. The client's demeanor transformed into a "sweet collaboration." * Client Quote: "There aren't many people that I can talk to about this... except for you." * Lana homeschooled seven children for 25 years. * Method: Used hands-on projects (e.g., decoupage placemats from Christmas cards) to create a relaxed environment. * Result: These activities fostered natural conversation and connection, replacing bickering with "magical" moments. Quotes: "Life is lived in between. Life is lived in the moments in between the big events. It's those moments when life is really, really happening." "If I sit quietly with them [ghostwriting clients] for a few minutes, I can ... tune in to where they're coming from through this active listening that I've learned to do over the years. Then I can hear them at that deeper level, [I hear] what's going on behind the words." "I have a publishing company that is a traditional publisher but we do it a different way, ... the author keeps all their rights. They keep creative control and still get the wide distribution and support that you would expect from a traditional publisher." --- Listeners, now it's your turn: What did you get from this conversation? Maybe you're going to go look for the Object Diaries podcast hosted byLisa Weiss. Maybe you're going to pick out your object that becomes the focal point of a story. Will you realize that you have a great story in you and you just need a little help to craft it? I'd love to hear your thoughts after you listen to this episode send me a message go to elkinsconsulting.com or send me a message on LinkedIn or Instagram. About Lana: Lana McAra is an award-winning, international bestselling author and ghostwriter of more than 50 books with over one million copies sold. Founder of Vendela Publishing, she works with writers who want to build long-term careers and reach readers beyond the algorithm. Lana has spent more than two decades teaching fiction writing and speaking to writers about the business of publishing. Learn more by visiting her links - https://www.lanamcara.com/ [https://www.lanamcara.com/] https://vendelapublishing.com/ [https://vendelapublishing.com/] https://substack.com/@inthewriterschair [https://substack.com/@inthewriterschair] About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW-zrlsZPHk] speaker, DisruptHR [https://disrupthr.co/vimeo-video/show-dont-tell-why-your-stories-win-at-work-sarah-elkins-disrupthr-talks/] speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening. Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website [https://elkinsconsulting.com/books] to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

433 Taking Steps To Take Better Care Of Yourself

433 Taking Steps To Take Better Care Of Yourself In today's episode, Sarah Elkins discusses the importance of taking your time to enjoy the world, to enjoy being you, to take time to make sure You, Dear Listener, are healthy in mind, body, emotion, and spirit. Highlights * Encouraging healthy self reflection to lessen loneliness and division. * Acknowledging when you need help or a break is key to not only your own wellbeing but to the wellbeing of those you care for. * Stop and smell the flowers. Life isn't a race. Take your time and enjoy the world you have helped to cultivate and get the gift of living in. * How our labels change as time moves, but so long as we know the shape of our souls we will be okay. Quotes "This is what hustle looks like. Losing track of 'why' I'm doing something. Focusing too much on doing something without stopping to ensure that what I'm doing fits my values, my needs, and how I want to live my life daily." "What makes things interesting and joyful to me, is knowing that a single label can't define me. I'm complicated, and so are you." "Will you take time right now or very soon to define success for yourself, without attaching money or income to that definition." Mentioned in this episode Bob Burg's episode [https://elkinsconsulting.com/sarahs-blog-podcast/2021/3/30/episode-170-focus-on-the-client-not-the-reward-stories-of-service-and-gratitude] The Go Giver [https://thegogiver.com/] Kevin Strauss LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevinrstrauss] Uchi App [https://uchiconnection.com/] Dear Listeners it is now your turn, Will you take time right now or very soon to define success for yourself, without attaching money or income to that definition. What is one thing you'll do today, tomorrow, and the next day to reach toward that definition of success, and the labels you choose for yourself, and demonstrate through your work. And how will you feed your own needs, your physical, emotional, and spiritual health so that you have the energy and enthusiasm and capacity to live your definition of success? And, as always, thank you for listening. About Sarah Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW-zrlsZPHk] speaker, DisruptHR [https://disrupthr.co/vimeo-video/show-dont-tell-why-your-stories-win-at-work-sarah-elkins-disrupthr-talks/] speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening. Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website [https://elkinsconsulting.com/books] to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.