The money behaviours you inherit (and how to rewrite them)

The money behaviours you inherit (and how to rewrite them)

What money behaviours did you inherit from your family — and are they actually yours? In this episode, Anna is joined by Carla Hoppe, a former solicitor and founder of Wealthbrite, a financial education business working with UK legal professionals. Carla's family roots span Holland, India, Canada and the Falklands. This is a story of understanding yourself, by understanding those who came before. We also talk about financial heritage and the way we are given scripts we never examine. Hers led her back to the Dutch famine and fears of scarcity. Carla shares a simple but powerful exercise — mapping your financial heritage in two columns — to surface inherited patterns and understand which ones still serve you. Anna does the exercise, discovering the very different money personalities of her parents and the tension she carries. Topics include: * How generational trauma (war, famine, displacement) shapes financial anxiety * Moving from money awareness to genuine agency * Building empathy for the people who raised you — and for yourself * Having better money conversations in your relationships * Breaking cycles without self-blame A thoughtful, warm, and surprisingly funny episode about one of the great taboos.

Why do we keep falling into the same hole? A poem about personal growth

A short episode from Anna Wallace, host of A Normal Family. During her coaching certification, Anna encountered a poem that resonated with her: An Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson, from There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery (1977). In this episode, she reads it aloud and reflects on why it speaks so directly to the patterns we repeat in our relationships and what genuine change actually requires. This is about the moment you develop enough self-awareness to not just see the hole, but to choose a different street altogether. Topics include: * Recognising repeated patterns in relationships * The stages of awareness, responsibility, and genuine change * Personal growth as an active choice, not just an insight Also mentioned: Anna's journaling workshop in Lisbon, with an online version coming soon.

Becoming mum, finding your voice: matresence and motherless mums

Becoming a mum isn't just sleepless nights, research is now showing how it changes you at a physical and mental level. In this episode of A Normal Family, I’m joined by my old school friend Rebecca to continue our series on matrescence – the often invisible transition into motherhood. 👉 Watch to find out how becoming a mum can quietly rewrite who you are, what it really feels like to parent without your own mum, and why something as ordinary as singing in a choir might be one of the most powerful mental health tools you haven’t tried yet. ⟡ Becoming a mum – identity and body * What life looked like before children * How pregnancy changed her relationship with her body and boundaries * The shock of realising she wouldn’t be “90% the same person, just more tired” ⟡ Motherless mothering – grief in the background * Losing her mum at 20 and being a “motherless mother” * The hidden moments that hurt most * How motherhood made her see her own mum’s life and sacrifices differently ⟡ Singing as healing – choirs, nervous systems and finding your voice * Why choir rehearsals became her therapy * How group singing supports mental health (breathwork, vagus nerve, co‑regulation) * Simple ways to use singing to reconnect with yourself, even if you “can’t sing” This episode is for you if you’re: * navigating early motherhood and wondering who you are now * doing motherhood without your own mum * interested in women’s identity and life transitions * curious about novel and accessible ways to support your mental health 🔔 Subscribe for more true family stories, matrescence conversations and healing‑centred tools for modern family life. In the comments, I’d love to hear, how would you describe your journey of becoming a mum? Surprising? Tiring? How did it shape your identity and sense of self? Purchase Matrescence by Lucy Jones: https://shorturl.at/Qv4R1 [https://shorturl.at/Qv4R1] Grief and choir singing: https://spcare.bmj.com/content/12/e4/e607 [https://spcare.bmj.com/content/12/e4/e607] Topics: motherhood, life transitions, matrescence, motherless mothers, singing as therapy, postnatal depression, vagus nerve, choir, women’s mental health, nervous system

Want a better relationship with your mum? Try this Ep.11 #matrescence #betterrelationships #compassion

We all came from a woman’s body, but have you considered what that experience was like for her?  In this short episode Anna offers an apology to her mother friends and an experiment for you.  A big aim of A Normal family is to help you lead better relationships and more fulfilling lives. Stepping into someone else’s shoes is a great way to build compassion, so I invite you to  a (potentially awkward) conversation with your mum or loved one about her motherhood story including how she fed you.  Key takeaways:  * Understanding your mum’s story can shift how you see her. * Conversations about motherhood can be uncomfortable but strengthen bonds. * Vulnerability and discomfort are key to connection. * Try this with your mum or another trusted mother in your life. This conversation is inspired by the concept of matrescence – the often unseen transformation of becoming a mother. Look out for my next guest interview with Rebecca where we talk about her experience of matrescence.  All data in this week’s episode are taken from Matrescence, Lucy Jones (2023)  Purchase Matrescence, by Lucy Jones: https://shorturl.at/Qv4R1 [https://shorturl.at/Qv4R1]  Topics: understanding your mum, mother–daughter relationships, healing family dynamics, matrescence, difficult conversations with parents. Chapters  00:00 Why this one conversation can change how you see your mum 00:55 How understanding your mum builds better relationships 01:43 My blind spot and an apology to mothers 02:39 The experiment: three areas to ask your mum about 06:09 If you can’t talk to your mum + final reflections

Why DNA is not destiny: epigenetics, trauma and hope

Is trauma 'in your genes' – and if so, can you ever really break the cycle for your kids? In this special episode, Anna sits down with epigenetics researcher Ryan Smith (TruDiagnostic) to explore why DNA is not destiny, and how generational trauma and healing both leave traces in the body. Together they explore: * how your grandmother, mother and you once shared the same body and what it means for weight, stress and resilience  * How mothers and fathers both influence inherited traits in different ways * Why some families seem wired for stress, addiction or hyper‑vigilance – and what animal studies (bees, mice) tell us * What you can do before conception, during pregnancy and in everyday family life to support healthier gene expression If you are new to epigenetics this is a great 101 to the subject and sheds scientific light on how some experiences are passed down at the  molecular level.  Let me know if you like this topic and want to hear more!  CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction 00:27 Epigenetics and family 101 03:30 Maternal ancestry and effects on metabolism 06:59 The paternal line in inheritance 07:54 The imprintome - your family software setting  12:30 Nature vs nurture: identical twins 14:34 Optimising your genes 16:24 Inheriting fear: other ways experience is passed through the generation References and inks  Ryan Smith – TruDiagnostic: https://ryansmith.trudiagnostic.com/optin1627581630595 [https://ryansmith.trudiagnostic.com/optin1627581630595] Netflix Documentary, You Are What You Eat: A Twin Experiment (Netflix, 2024): https://www.netflix.com/title/81133260 [https://www.netflix.com/title/81133260] The Agouti Mouse Study:  https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/470102 [https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/470102] The Cherry Blossom / Fear Inheritance Study (Dias & Ressler, 2013), article in National Geographic: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/mice-inherit-the-fears-of-their-fathers [https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/mice-inherit-the-fears-of-their-fathers]