Why Generic Advice Fails Neurodivergent Brains (and What Actually Helps Instead)

Why Generic Advice Fails Neurodivergent Brains (and What Actually Helps Instead)

If you’ve ever followed well-meaning advice and still felt stuck, broken, or misunderstood — this episode is for you. In this conversation with writer Jeanette Smith, we unpack why most advice is built for the “average” brain, and why that model breaks down for neurodivergent thinkers. We explore how ADHD, bipolar disorder, and other overlapping diagnoses can complicate communication — especially in writing, work, and relationships — and how easily intent gets misread when people don’t understand how your mind works. One of the central ideas in this episode is the critical difference between advice and feedback. Advice is generic and impersonal. Feedback is responsive, specific, and rooted in you. That distinction alone can change how you ask for help, how you collaborate, and how you stop internalizing shame when something doesn’t work. We also talk about masking, hyperfocus, determination, creativity, and the permission to follow whimsy — not as a distraction, but as a source of clarity and strength. This episode is about learning to advocate for your brain, stop forcing yourself into systems that don’t fit, and start asking for the kind of support that actually works. Connect with Jeanette: Website [https://www.jeanettethewriter.com/ ] LinkedI [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeanette-writer-dallas/ ]n Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/modern_mer/] Your Lab Kit: 1. The Advice Audit 2. Ask for feedback, not fixes. 3. Build a "brain disclaimer". ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The ADHD Alchemy Podcast is where bright, sensitive women finally stop masking and start thriving—with clarity, confidence, and shameless potential. We’re sharing real stories that help us turn friction into flow, liability into leverage, and resistance into rhythm. If your brain feels like a thousand tabs are open and five radio stations are playing at once, you’re in the right place! I’m Jessica Covington and I’ve always had a slightly different way of doing things, including ADHD. In my work, we leverage the body-mind connection to harness the beautiful potential you’ve always known is there but haven’t been able to use. My guests and I are here to help you quiet the shame, trust yourself again, and create a life that feels calm, focused, and fully yours. These are the stories of women like us: the ones who think differently; who’ve tried every damn system, planner, and app but nothing sticks; who’ve spent years and all their energy trying to seem "normal"; and who are finally ready to see ADHD without shame, guilt, or apology. Stick with us here to remember you are NOT a failure, you’re not alone in the chaos, and you are certainly not deficient or disordered. Apply to be a guest and share your own story here. [https://myadhdalchemy.com] Learn more at fit-ology.com. [https://fit-ology.com] Join the conversation [https://www.fit-ology.com/adhd-strength-hub] – it’s in our own little space away from algorithms, and it’s free! Co-work with us in Focus Labs [https://fitology.setmore.com/classes/20e223cd-2545-4f33-b3e6-30b22b25d923] – Tuesdays at 1pm eastern. Free and open to any Fancy Brain (but we need your registration to attend). Grab your copy of “Distracted to Done” [https://www.fit-ology.com/distracted-to-done-by-jessica-fields-covington] Help yourself to the “Move Your Body - Move Your Mind Map” [https://www.fit-ology.com/move-your-body-move-your-mind-map] Learn more about ADHD Alchemy Coaching [https://www.fit-ology.com/alchemymain] (private and group pathways are open now) On the socials (sporadically!): Facebook Page [https://www.facebook.com/fitologyADHDcoach ] Fancy Brains Facebook Group [ https://www.facebook.com/groups/fancybrains/] Jessica on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessicacovington/] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/fitology_adhd/] Blog on Medium [https://medium.com/@fitology] Music credit goes to my son, TAZZFANTO, who composed and produced this song just for us. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes; always check with your healthcare provider before making changes to diet, exercise and mental health care. This episode may contain affiliate links and mentions; we are grateful for your support.

Late ADHD Diagnosis in High-Achieving Women: From Shame and Misdiagnosis to Self-Trust

What if the very traits that made you successful are the same ones that kept your ADHD hidden for decades? In this candid and deeply affirming conversation, we unpack what late ADHD diagnosis looks like for high-achieving women — especially those who were the “good girl,” the capable one, the leader, the stoic, the high performer. We talk about: * Growing up undiagnosed and shrinking to fit * Being labeled anxious or depressed instead of properly assessed for ADHD * The crushing moment of being told, “You wouldn’t have gotten this far if you had ADHD” * Losing systems in your 30s and 40s and wondering what went wrong * Grief, burnout, and the midlife “performance cliff” * The difference between being a quitter and being a builder * Why asking for help feels so hard (and how to start small) * ADHD in girls and the importance of early awareness * Moving from people-pleasing to self-preservation * Reframing ADHD as a difference and an explanation — not a disorder or excuse We also explore the unique strengths of entrepreneurial ADHD brains — the starters, the visionaries, the catalysts — and how collaboration with sustainers can transform shame into strategy. If you’ve ever felt like you held everything together until you couldn’t anymore… If you’ve ever been dismissed because you were “too successful” to struggle… If you’re navigating midlife, loss, identity shifts, or self-advocacy… This episode will remind you: You are not behind. You are not broken. And you are not alone. Follow Tina on LinkedIn [https://linkedin.com/in/katrinaticklesdinkel ] or Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/tinaticklesdinkel/] Your Lab Kit 1. Rewrite the "quitter" story. 2. Ask for one small thing. 3. Follow the undercurrent. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The ADHD Alchemy Podcast is where bright, sensitive women finally stop masking and start thriving—with clarity, confidence, and shameless potential. We’re sharing real stories that help us turn friction into flow, liability into leverage, and resistance into rhythm. If your brain feels like a thousand tabs are open and five radio stations are playing at once, you’re in the right place! I’m Jessica Covington and I’ve always had a slightly different way of doing things, including ADHD. In my work, we leverage the body-mind connection to harness the beautiful potential you’ve always known is there but haven’t been able to use. My guests and I are here to help you quiet the shame, trust yourself again, and create a life that feels calm, focused, and fully yours. These are the stories of women like us: the ones who think differently; who’ve tried every damn system, planner, and app but nothing sticks; who’ve spent years and all their energy trying to seem "normal"; and who are finally ready to see ADHD without shame, guilt, or apology. Stick with us here to remember you are NOT a failure, you’re not alone in the chaos, and you are certainly not deficient or disordered. Apply to be a guest and share your own story here. [https://myadhdalchemy.com] Learn more at fit-ology.com. [https://fit-ology.com] Join the conversation [https://www.fit-ology.com/adhd-strength-hub] – it’s in our own little space away from algorithms, and it’s free! Co-work with us in Focus Labs [https://fitology.setmore.com/classes/20e223cd-2545-4f33-b3e6-30b22b25d923] – Tuesdays at 1pm eastern. Free and open to any Fancy Brain (but we need your registration to attend). Grab your copy of “Distracted to Done” [https://www.fit-ology.com/distracted-to-done-by-jessica-fields-covington] Help yourself to the “Move Your Body - Move Your Mind Map” [https://www.fit-ology.com/move-your-body-move-your-mind-map] Learn more about ADHD Alchemy Coaching [https://www.fit-ology.com/alchemymain] (private and group pathways are open now) On the socials (sporadically!): Facebook Page [https://www.facebook.com/fitologyADHDcoach ] Fancy Brains Facebook Group [ https://www.facebook.com/groups/fancybrains/] Jessica on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessicacovington/] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/fitology_adhd/] Blog on Medium [https://medium.com/@fitology] Music credit goes to my son, TAZZFANTO, who composed and produced this song just for us. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes; always check with your healthcare provider before making changes to diet, exercise and mental health care. This episode may contain affiliate links and mentions; we are grateful for your support.

When Your Brain Is “Too Much”: ADHD, Chronic Illness, Shame, and Learning to Trust Yourself

What happens when a “fancy brain” collides with chronic illness, medical trauma, and a world that keeps demanding simplicity from someone inherently complex? In this deeply human conversation, I sit down with attorney-turned-disability advocate Alisa Aczel to talk about late-diagnosed neurodivergence, shame, chronic conditions, intuition, and the emotional exhaustion of trying to explain a life that doesn’t fit neatly into anyone else’s boxes. Alisa shares what it was like growing up believing she was “too much,” navigating ADHD alongside complex medical conditions including Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and learning — slowly and imperfectly — to trust herself again after years of being dismissed by systems that were never designed for complexity. We also explore: * Why neurodivergent women often internalize shame long before diagnosis * The overlap between ADHD, chronic illness, trauma, and medical gaslighting * The hidden grief of untapped potential * Why simplifying complex people can become its own form of harm * How travel creates movement, perspective, connection, and vitality for neurodivergent brains * The tension between uncertainty and trust * What it means to stop forcing yourself into someone else’s version of “normal” This episode is honest, layered, funny, painful, hopeful, and deeply validating for anyone who has ever felt like they were simultaneously “too much” and not enough. And woven throughout the conversation is a reminder I think many women desperately need to hear: You are not failing because you are complex. You may simply need systems, support, and environments that actually honor how your brain and body work. If today’s episode resonates, download the free Decision Filter tool mentioned in the intro. It’s designed to help overwhelmed ADHD brains figure out what actually matters right now — without spiraling, overthinking, or trying to do everything at once. Your Decision Filter is here. [https://www.fit-ology.com/decision-filters] Your Lab Kit: 1. Run your Decision Filter before spiraling. 2. Practice somatic interruptions during overwhelm. 3. Find support items for tough days. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The ADHD Alchemy Podcast is where bright, sensitive women finally stop masking and start thriving—with clarity, confidence, and shameless potential. We’re sharing real stories that help us turn friction into flow, liability into leverage, and resistance into rhythm. If your brain feels like a thousand tabs are open and five radio stations are playing at once, you’re in the right place! I’m Jessica Covington and I’ve always had a slightly different way of doing things, including ADHD. In my work, we leverage the body-mind connection to harness the beautiful potential you’ve always known is there but haven’t been able to use. My guests and I are here to help you quiet the shame, trust yourself again, and create a life that feels calm, focused, and fully yours. These are the stories of women like us: the ones who think differently; who’ve tried every damn system, planner, and app but nothing sticks; who’ve spent years and all their energy trying to seem "normal"; and who are finally ready to see ADHD without shame, guilt, or apology. Stick with us here to remember you are NOT a failure, you’re not alone in the chaos, and you are certainly not deficient or disordered. Apply to be a guest and share your own story here. [https://myadhdalchemy.com] Learn more at fit-ology.com. [https://fit-ology.com] Join the conversation [https://www.fit-ology.com/adhd-strength-hub] – it’s in our own little space away from algorithms, and it’s free! Co-work with us in Focus Labs [https://fitology.setmore.com/classes/20e223cd-2545-4f33-b3e6-30b22b25d923] – Tuesdays at 1pm eastern. Free and open to any Fancy Brain (but we need your registration to attend). Grab your copy of “Distracted to Done” [https://www.fit-ology.com/distracted-to-done-by-jessica-fields-covington] Help yourself to the “Move Your Body - Move Your Mind Map” [https://www.fit-ology.com/move-your-body-move-your-mind-map] Learn more about ADHD Alchemy Coaching [https://www.fit-ology.com/alchemymain] (private and group pathways are open now) On the socials (sporadically!): Facebook Page [https://www.facebook.com/fitologyADHDcoach ] Fancy Brains Facebook Group [ https://www.facebook.com/groups/fancybrains/] Jessica on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessicacovington/] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/fitology_adhd/] Blog on Medium [https://medium.com/@fitology] Music credit goes to my son, TAZZFANTO, who composed and produced this song just for us. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes; always check with your healthcare provider before making changes to diet, exercise and mental health care. This episode may contain affiliate links and mentions; we are grateful for your support.

ADHD in Women: Postpartum Brain, Masking, Burnout, and the Identity Shift No One Expects

Motherhood changes your brain. Literally. In this conversation, we explore the complex overlap between ADHD in women, postpartum brain, burnout, and identity shifts that often surface in midlife. Sara brings a therapist’s lens to the nuanced question so many women ask: Is this ADHD — or is this just motherhood? We unpack how hormone changes, sleep deprivation, and the fourth trimester can temporarily mimic executive dysfunction — and when it may signal something deeper. You’ll hear about matrescence (the developmental transition into motherhood), gray matter changes in the brain, and why “mom brain” is not a personal failure. We also explore: * Why burnout is often the first sign something needs attention * How decades of masking can create low-grade nervous system trauma * The shame narrative many bright women carry * How therapy creates space to release internalized self-correction * The difference between therapy and coaching — and how they can complement each other This episode is for the woman who feels exhausted, scattered, overstimulated, or disconnected from herself — especially if she used to feel capable and steady. There is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes the system missed you. Sometimes the season changed you. And sometimes all those are true. Learn more about Sara and her work at www.sarakmorganlpc.com [http://www.sarakmorganlpc.com ] Your Lab Kit: 1. Take a burnout inventory. 2. Rewrite one old narrative. 3. Educate before you evaluate. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The ADHD Alchemy Podcast is where bright, sensitive women finally stop masking and start thriving—with clarity, confidence, and shameless potential. We’re sharing real stories that help us turn friction into flow, liability into leverage, and resistance into rhythm. If your brain feels like a thousand tabs are open and five radio stations are playing at once, you’re in the right place! I’m Jessica Covington and I’ve always had a slightly different way of doing things, including ADHD. In my work, we leverage the body-mind connection to harness the beautiful potential you’ve always known is there but haven’t been able to use. My guests and I are here to help you quiet the shame, trust yourself again, and create a life that feels calm, focused, and fully yours. These are the stories of women like us: the ones who think differently; who’ve tried every damn system, planner, and app but nothing sticks; who’ve spent years and all their energy trying to seem "normal"; and who are finally ready to see ADHD without shame, guilt, or apology. Stick with us here to remember you are NOT a failure, you’re not alone in the chaos, and you are certainly not deficient or disordered. Apply to be a guest and share your own story here. [https://myadhdalchemy.com] Learn more at fit-ology.com. [https://fit-ology.com] Join the conversation [https://www.fit-ology.com/adhd-strength-hub] – it’s in our own little space away from algorithms, and it’s free! Co-work with us in Focus Labs [https://fitology.setmore.com/classes/20e223cd-2545-4f33-b3e6-30b22b25d923] – Tuesdays at 1pm eastern. Free and open to any Fancy Brain (but we need your registration to attend). Grab your copy of “Distracted to Done” [https://www.fit-ology.com/distracted-to-done-by-jessica-fields-covington] Help yourself to the “Move Your Body - Move Your Mind Map” [https://www.fit-ology.com/move-your-body-move-your-mind-map] Learn more about ADHD Alchemy Coaching [https://www.fit-ology.com/alchemymain] (private and group pathways are open now) On the socials (sporadically!): Facebook Page [https://www.facebook.com/fitologyADHDcoach ] Fancy Brains Facebook Group [ https://www.facebook.com/groups/fancybrains/] Jessica on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessicacovington/] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/fitology_adhd/] Blog on Medium [https://medium.com/@fitology] Music credit goes to my son, TAZZFANTO, who composed and produced this song just for us. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes; always check with your healthcare provider before making changes to diet, exercise and mental health care. This episode may contain affiliate links and mentions; we are grateful for your support.

ADHD Motivation, Structure, and Dopamine: Why Gamifying Your Life Actually Works

People with ADHD aren’t struggling because they lack discipline. They’re struggling because they’re trying to function inside systems that were never designed for the way their brains work. In this episode, Jessica talks with Heather, founder of Quests for Success, about what happens when you stop trying to force productivity through shame and start building systems that work with your brain instead. Heather shares her journey from perfectionism-driven success to burnout, layoffs, and eventually creating a radically different approach to motivation—one built around gamification, dopamine, and flexible structure. Originally designed for her own neurodivergent kids, Heather’s system turns weekly goals into quests, progress into visible rewards, and everyday effort into something that actually feels engaging. Together, they explore: • Why many ADHD women rely on shame and perfectionism to function • The difference between structure that supports you vs. structure that traps you • How gamification can create dopamine-rich motivation • Why consistency—not perfection—is the real goal • How learning to accept your brain can rebuild self-trust They also talk about something many women experience but rarely name: the emotional rollercoaster of high-capacity days and low-capacity days, and how to work with those natural cycles instead of fighting them. Heather shares a powerful metaphor she uses with her children—and herself: If you have ADHD, you’re not broken. You’re in magic school, learning how to harness your power. Learn more and reach out to Heather: QuestsForSuccess.com [https://www.questsforsuccess.com] info@questsforsuccess.com Lab Kit 1. The "Under-Structured" Test 2. Effort, Not Outcome 3. Create Your Own Quest ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The ADHD Alchemy Podcast is where bright, sensitive women finally stop masking and start thriving—with clarity, confidence, and shameless potential. We’re sharing real stories that help us turn friction into flow, liability into leverage, and resistance into rhythm. If your brain feels like a thousand tabs are open and five radio stations are playing at once, you’re in the right place! I’m Jessica Covington and I’ve always had a slightly different way of doing things, including ADHD. In my work, we leverage the body-mind connection to harness the beautiful potential you’ve always known is there but haven’t been able to use. My guests and I are here to help you quiet the shame, trust yourself again, and create a life that feels calm, focused, and fully yours. These are the stories of women like us: the ones who think differently; who’ve tried every damn system, planner, and app but nothing sticks; who’ve spent years and all their energy trying to seem "normal"; and who are finally ready to see ADHD without shame, guilt, or apology. Stick with us here to remember you are NOT a failure, you’re not alone in the chaos, and you are certainly not deficient or disordered. Apply to be a guest and share your own story here. [https://myadhdalchemy.com] Learn more at fit-ology.com. [https://fit-ology.com] Join the conversation [https://www.fit-ology.com/adhd-strength-hub] – it’s in our own little space away from algorithms, and it’s free! Co-work with us in Focus Labs [https://fitology.setmore.com/classes/20e223cd-2545-4f33-b3e6-30b22b25d923] – Tuesdays at 1pm eastern. Free and open to any Fancy Brain (but we need your registration to attend). Grab your copy of “Distracted to Done” [https://www.fit-ology.com/distracted-to-done-by-jessica-fields-covington] Help yourself to the “Move Your Body - Move Your Mind Map” [https://www.fit-ology.com/move-your-body-move-your-mind-map] Learn more about ADHD Alchemy Coaching [https://www.fit-ology.com/alchemymain] (private and group pathways are open now) On the socials (sporadically!): Facebook Page [https://www.facebook.com/fitologyADHDcoach ] Fancy Brains Facebook Group [ https://www.facebook.com/groups/fancybrains/] Jessica on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessicacovington/] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/fitology_adhd/] Blog on Medium [https://medium.com/@fitology] Music credit goes to my son, TAZZFANTO, who composed and produced this song just for us. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes; always check with your healthcare provider before making changes to diet, exercise and mental health care. This episode may contain affiliate links and mentions; we are grateful for your support.