90: Overcoming Fawning: How to Set Boundaries in Your Career

90: Overcoming Fawning: How to Set Boundaries in Your Career

"Stop protecting the people who treat you poorly." Are you the person who jokes about being a "people pleaser" but goes home feeling drained, anxious, and deeply resentful? You might not just be "nice"—you might be experiencing the "fawn" trauma response. Most of us know fight, flight, or freeze, but fawning is the lesser-known, often more dangerous response where you literally prop up people who don't deserve it just to survive the interaction. In this episode, we're doing the "shitty work" of peeling back those layers to understand why you learned to sacrifice your own needs just to avoid conflict. If you're tired of self-gaslighting and are ready to stop setting yourself on fire to keep others warm, this is your wake-up call. Here, we explore: - What the fawn trauma response actually looks like in high-performance careers. - How to differentiate your adult self from the "exile" parts of you that learned people-pleasing as a survival mechanism. - Tactical ways to set boundaries and pause before you say "yes." - How to detach from the outcome when setting boundaries (spoiler: their reaction is theirs, not yours). - Moving toward a freer, more fulfilled life by embracing authentic relationships Timestamps: 01:17 Personal Story: Hannah's Workplace Fawning 02:45 Defining Fawning & Why It Happens 03:38 Taking Action: Stopping the Cycle 04:42 Why We Self-Gaslight at Work 06:15 The IFS Approach to People-Pleasing 07:00 Managers vs. Exiles: How Our Parts Work 08:30 Connecting Old Survival Strategies to Today 09:15 The Power of the Pause 10:33 How to Find "Expanders" to Model Boundaries 12:30 Detaching from Other People's Reactions 14:10 Why This Work is Uncomfortable (But Worth It) 15:10 The Freedom of Authentic Relationships 15:55 The "Cruise Ship" Analogy for Change 16:18 Life & Work Transformation Program Info #fawntraumaresponse #internalfamilysystems #peoplepleasing #selfrespect #healthyboundaries #authenticrelationships #workplaceculture #careeradvice

89: My Boss is Addicted to AI and It's Going to Ruin Our Company

Ever felt like your boss is taking instructions from a chatbot? In this episode of Hannah Hotline, we're tackling a listener's story about a CEO who is completely obsessed with using AI in business, even when it's clearly producing garbage. When your leadership team treats AI-generated projections as gospel, it doesn't just create frustration; it kills team morale. Hannah unpacks the messy reality of workplace AI adoption and why so many leaders are using tech as a shortcut to avoid making real decisions. If you're struggling with an AI-obsessed boss and don't know how to speak up without sounding like a Luddite, this episode gives you the tactical roadmap you need to regain control. In this episode, we explore: * Why leaders look for shortcuts and how it leads to a bad AI strategy. * The difference between using AI for efficiency and outsourcing your core judgment. * How to push back against tech-obsessed leadership without risking your career. * Tactical ways to introduce "human validation" steps into your workflow. * Knowing when to fight for the right decision and when to protect your own mental health. #WorkplaceAI #LeadershipTips #AIinBusiness #CareerAdvice #HannahKissel #CorporateCulture 📩 Got a "Hannah Hotline" scenario you're stuck in? Email hello@hannahkissel.com [hello@hannahkissel.com] Free Career Confidence Course: www.hannahkissel.com [https://hannahkissel.com/]

88: How to Remain Creative in Motherhood

In this episode, Hannah sits down with Andrea Bombino - motherhood and career coach, matrescence expert, and longtime friend - to unpack the developmental transition into motherhood that almost no one talks about: matrescence. Coined in the 1970s and only recently brought back into the mainstream, matrescence describes the profound physical, psychological, and identity-level transformation that happens when a woman becomes a mother. Andrea breaks down why Western culture fails to recognize this transition the way it recognizes adolescence, and why high-achieving women in particular struggle to accept a season of life that doesn't match their old definition of success. This conversation goes deep into ambition after motherhood, the guilt of slowing down, burnout recovery, values-based decision making, and why creative hobbies — even five minutes of painting or journaling — are non-negotiable for staying grounded. If you're a working mother, an executive navigating parental leave, or simply someone redefining what success looks like in this season of your life, this episode is essential listening. Connect with Andrea Bombino: www.andreabombino.com www.LinkedIn.com/in/andreabombino/ Instagram: @andreabombino_ https://open.substack.com/pub/andreabombino 📩 Got a Big Fucking Dreams topic you want covered? Email hello@hannahkissel.com #matrescence #motherhoodjourney #identitymothers #workingmama #workingmom #workingwomen #maternityleave #womenintransition #parentingsupport Timestamps: 00:30 — Welcome Andrea Bombino to Big Fucking Dreams 01:30 — What is matrescence? Definition and origins of the term 03:00 — Why matrescence was rediscovered through postpartum depression research 04:00 — The different domains of matrescence: physical, relational, career, identity 05:30 — Why society treats teenage development with grace but not motherhood 06:30 — Western capitalist culture vs. how other cultures honor postpartum recovery 08:00 — Hyper-independence and the resistance to accepting support 09:30 — The shift in ambition: why some high-achieving women want to pause their careers 10:30 — Andrea's personal panic when she found out she was pregnant after a promotion 11:30 — "Pregnancy is the shortest ramp-up time for a career change" 12:30 — How ambition shifts and sharpens instead of disappearing 16:00 — Acceptance, impatience, and burnout recovery 18:00 — The invisible labor of motherhood and lack of recognition 20:30 — A constant practice in acceptance: choosing values over old definitions of success 25:00 — Behind the curtain: what "having it all together" actually requires 28:30 — Andrea's hobbies and the prioritization of fun in motherhood 30:00 — How career achievement became Andrea's sole measure of self-worth 33:30 — Finding healing through watercolor painting with her daughter 36:00 — The neuroscience of making things with your hands and lowering cortisol 39:00 — "Life is meant to be lived" — redefining what brings you joy 41:00 — The eighth-grade memory that shaped Andrea's relationship with happiness 43:00 — Why prioritizing hobbies as a mom is not selfish — bringing kids into the joy 46:00 — Moving to Italy, taking risks, and living life on your own terms 48:00 — "Do it your own way" — permission to change your mind 49:30 — Becoming more confident in who you are, the longer you're a mother 50:00 — Where to find Andrea Bombino + final thoughts

87: Fired for Being Honest: How to Handle Injustice at Work

"I told the CEO the truth, and then I was fired." If you have a strong sense of justice and integrity, you've likely felt the sting of corporate politics. You see a problem, you fix it, and instead of being rewarded, you're sidelined or pushed out. In this episode, Hannah breaks down the high-performer's "Integrity Trap." She explains how to navigate these environments without sacrificing your soul, and when to realise that the system you are fighting isn't just broken - it's designed to exclude people like you. The bottom line: Integrity is your greatest asset. Don't waste it on an organisation that doesn't deserve it. 🚨 Got a career challenge? Submit your questions and frustrations to the Hannah Hotline Email: hello@hannahkissel.com If you've been burned by corporate politics, you're not the problem—the system is. If you're ready to stop being 'the inconvenient one' and start building a career that actually values your integrity, grab my free Career Confidence Course at www.hannahkissel.com [https://www.hannahkissel.com] and let's get you aligned. Timestamps: 01:30 — The "Good Operator" fallacy: Why honesty is sometimes a liability 03:00 — Why power trumps competence in corporate environments 04:30 — "Inconvenient to power": Recognising the dynamic 06:00 — Tactical advice: Presenting data without being confrontational 07:30 — Self-preservation vs. Selfishness 09:00 — When to stop trying to fix a broken ship 11:00 — If you're always getting fired for honesty, consider a different model Hannah Hotline is sponsored by dominiquejingles — where quirky, clever, and corporate branding is reimagined. A client says, 'We just want something different.' Dominique turns that into a jingle that sticks in your head all day. DM Dominique on Instagram @dominiquejingles or email dominiqueenglish04@gmail.com [dominiqueenglish04@gmail.com]

86: The Truth About Identity Shifts: Moving From Burnout to Metamorphosis

You've achieved everything you set out to achieve. So why do you feel like you're losing your edge? For high performers and executives, we are wired to believe that more work, more hustle, and more sacrifice is the answer to every problem. But what happens when the very mechanism that built your success — your relentless drive, starts to feel like a cage? In this episode, Hannah gets vulnerable about a recent shift in her own ambition. After years of building, growing, and hustling, she's found herself in the "mush" — that uncomfortable, transitional space where the old identity has dissolved, but the new one hasn't quite arrived yet. Using Martha Beck's "Change Cycle," Hannah explains why you might be experiencing a loss of drive, why your ambition might actually be a lingering trauma response, and why the most productive thing you can do right now is "go gentle." The bottom line: If you're changing identities right now, you don't need to force a solution. You need to surrender to the cycle. Timestamps: 01:30 — Why identity shift is the ultimate high-performer struggle 03:30 — Healing PTSD and the death of "trauma-response" ambition 04:30 — It's not just business: Why identity shifts are universal for women 05:00 — Martha Beck's Change Cycle: The framework you need 05:30 — Stage One: The "Mush" (Death and Rebirth) 07:00 — The danger of hustling through the "Mush" 07:30 — A quick overview of Stages Two, Three, and Four 08:00 — The invitation to "go gentle" and surrender Key Takeaways: 1. Metamorphosis is not comfortable. 2. Ambition is often a trauma response. 3. Surrender is not giving up. 4. Natural cycles exist for women. 5. Your drive will change. #identityshift #careertransition #changecycle #careeradvice #highperformer #workplaceadvice #createyourownfuture #hannahkissel 📩 Got a question for the Hannah Hotline? Email hello@hannahkissel.com Free Career Confidence Course: www.hannahkissel.com