CALL CHELSEA PERETTI

TWO OPENINGS

Wearing a shirt she dreamed she wore, Chelsea has a rip roarin time with some excellent callers. A dissection of genres of internet posts. A special ability to aerate hot food, 90s toaster oven nostalgia, a desire to be around smart and nice people, bra surveillance, some dance, some songs, wildly drawn-out courtroom yarn, and finally… A MALE CALLER!!

DEBUT NOVELIST

Chelsea debuts her new career direction as she continues to chase a Pullitzer. An east coast bartender, a mom getting chemo, a literary section, a reflection on blueberries, several calls for help, Costco, and a lot of discontent.

A VERY CHINTZY EPISODE

Carey is radicalized by Fire Island and drops multiple Dorinda references in this very special, very chintzy episode. His magical tale of going septic and wearing a stent and purse of antibiotics and subsequent digestive woe. Toenail removal and a discussion of disturbing doctors. A lengthy analysis of sunflowers. Conversely, shocking caller opinions on roses. Carey shares dog perfume tips. An exploration of flat Christina Aguilera karaoke. Many helpful PSAs.

TRYING TO CATCH A VIBE

Chelsea chats with a mightily prestigious crop of guests: an opera choreographer with a hot restaurant tip, a pottery buyer who appraises her piece, and a licensed therapist (presumably) who assesses Chelsea. Discussion of vitello tonnato, sand dunes, pottery accounts, mothers day, and underground parking lots. Chelsea's continued attempts at piquing caller interest in escape rooms effectively fails.

WINDY WILLIAMS

Chelsea stands on a cliff in the blustery wind and howls out about hair salon culture, brain rot, writing,  boredom, science, explosive news, therapy, love languages, Tate Larae, a brain surgeon and a friend of a friend calls in! A caller celebrates his Fourthcalliversary by negging Chelsea, educating her about basic geography, and soliciting dog custody advice.