66. The Horse Training Advice I Stopped Following: “Don't Let the Horse Win"

66. The Horse Training Advice I Stopped Following: “Don't Let the Horse Win"

One of the most common pieces of horse training advice is, "Don't let the horse win." But what if that mindset is creating more fear, more tension, and more problems than it solves? In this episode, Anna explores what really happens when riders get off after something goes wrong, why punishing a horse for being afraid often backfires, and how nervous system regulation impacts learning for both horses and humans. You'll learn why exhaustion is not the same as relaxation, why horses don't learn well in survival mode, and how ending a session with a positive emotional experience can improve trust, confidence, and rideability over time. Whether you've ever fallen off, felt nervous getting on, or wondered if you're "rewarding bad behavior" by listening to your horse, this conversation offers a different perspective on safety, leadership, and partnership. Topics include: • The myth of "letting the horse win" • Why punishment often fails to create lasting change • Fear, overwhelm, and nervous system dysregulation • The difference between compliance and relaxation • How horses remember emotional experiences • Practical ways to help your horse return to a regulated state Because a horse in survival mode cannot learn—and sometimes the bravest thing a rider can do is stop trying to win the moment. Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com [http://www.equusenlightened.com/] Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.   Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free!  https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened [https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened] Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened [https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened] Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart  https://equusenlightened.com/reconnect-rebuild-horse-human-partnership [https://equusenlightened.com/reconnect-rebuild-horse-human-partnership]   Email me at Anna@equusenlightened.com [Anna@equusenlightened.comt] Happy Riding!

65. Why Lunging Your Horse First Isn’t Creating Relaxation (And What to Do Instead)

Do you think your horse needs to be tired to be good? A lot of riders have been taught that a tired horse is a relaxed horse. So we lunge them first, ride them down, or keep them moving until they “settle.” But exhaustion is not relaxation — and in the long run, it often creates fitter, more frustrated horses instead of calmer ones. In this episode, Anna dives into the concepts of Reflex to Relax and Rhythmic Relaxation, exploring how rhythm, nervous system regulation, and emotional safety affect your horse’s ability to learn, trust, and stay mentally present. You’ll learn: • Why tiredness decreases learning and mental clarity • The difference between coping and true relaxation • How horses read rhythm and energy • Why rhythm signals safety to mammals • How nervous systems synchronize with each other • Why relaxation and rhythm are the true foundation of training • How riders accidentally create tension by over-asking • A simple exercise to begin teaching your horse a Reflex to Relax This episode also explores how many “lazy,” anxious, or resistant horses may actually be struggling with nervous system dysregulation rather than disobedience — and how teaching relaxation can change your entire relationship with your horse. Whether you ride dressage, trail ride, compete, or simply want a deeper connection with your horse, this conversation will help you rethink relaxation, training, and what horses truly need from us. Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com [http://www.equusenlightened.com/] Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.   Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free!  https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened [https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened] Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened [https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened] Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart  https://equusenlightened.com/reconnect-rebuild-horse-human-partnership [https://equusenlightened.com/reconnect-rebuild-horse-human-partnership] Email me at Anna@equusenlightened.com [Anna@equusenlightened.comt] Happy Riding!

64. The Missing Piece in Horse Training: Relaxation for Horse AND Rider

What if the missing piece in horse training isn’t more pressure, more control, or better technique… but relaxation? In this episode of The Thinking Horse and Rider Podcast, I’m sharing why I created the Happy Horse (and Human) Experience at Shining River Ranch and the deeper philosophy behind it. Most riders learn mechanics, positions, corrections, and patterns in riding lessons. But very few of us are taught: - how horses actually learn - how nervous systems affect training - how humans unintentionally create tension - how to regulate energy instead of suppressing behavior - how to create connection instead of compliance We’ll talk about: - why so many equestrians feel tense, disconnected, and over-responsible - how that pressure transfers to horses - the importance of awareness, emotional clarity, and timing - why relaxation is essential for BOTH horse and rider - the groundwork and riding exercises we’ll explore at camp Including: - passive leading - touch-it - moving massage - energy ladder exercises - passive riding - breathing for transitions - hindquarter yield variations This episode is rooted in the principles of Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart and the “7 things we don’t learn in riding lessons.” If you’ve been craving a softer, more connected way of learning with your horse, this conversation is for you. If you want to join us in-person: https://equusenlightened.com/happy-horse-camp-north-carolina If Louisburg, NC is not convenient to you, reach out to me about booking an experience near you. Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com [http://www.equusenlightened.com/] Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.   Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free!  https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened [https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened] Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened [https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened] Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart  https://equusenlightened.com/reconnect-rebuild-horse-human-partnership [https://equusenlightened.com/reconnect-rebuild-horse-human-partnership]   Email me at Anna@equusenlightened.com [Anna@equusenlightened.comt] Happy Riding!

63. Inside Leg to Outside Rein Explained (3 Exercises to Finally FEEL It)

How many times have you heard the phrase “inside leg to outside rein”… but still secretly had no idea what it was supposed to FEEL like? In this episode of The Thinking Horse and Rider, I’m breaking down 3 simple exercises that help riders finally understand the connection between the inside hind leg, outside shoulder, and outside aids — not just intellectually, but physically. Using everything from hindquarter yields to figure 8 patterns (plus a surprising Gravitron carnival ride analogy 🤣), we explore how to create true connection, balance, bend, better half halts, and smoother turns without micromanaging your horse with the reins. If you’ve ever struggled with: • horses falling in or out through the shoulder • weak turns or wobbly circles • overusing the outside rein • understanding “inside leg to outside rein” • creating real self-carriage and connection …this episode is for you. Plus, I’ll walk you through: 🐴 The hindquarter yield that builds nearly everything 🐴 How to ride from your inside aids 🐴 Why transitions improve feel 🐴 A simple setup for teaching half halts 🐴 How to stop “holding” your horse together Because once you FEEL it… everything changes. Watch the video examples on YouTube for the full visual breakdown and try this week’s 10 Minute Experiment with your horse. Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com [http://www.equusenlightened.com/] Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.   Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free!  https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened [https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened] Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened [https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened] Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart  https://equusenlightened.com/reconnect-rebuild-horse-human-partnership [https://equusenlightened.com/reconnect-rebuild-horse-human-partnership]   Email me at Anna@equusenlightened.com [Anna@equusenlightened.comt] Happy Riding!

62. Horse Training Exercises That Build Confidence, Autonomy & Leadership

In this bonus Ten Minute Tuesday episode of The Thinking Horse and Rider, Anna shares two simple horse training experiments designed to improve self-carriage, confidence, autonomy, and connection between horse and rider. After forgetting to include the weekly experiment in the previous episode on autonomy with Elizabeth Reicks, Anna returns with two practical exercises you can try with your horse this week: • The “Echo My Energy” exercise for building self-carriage without constant leg pressure or micromanagement • The “Lead From Behind” exercise to encourage curiosity, confidence, and healthier leadership dynamics This episode explores horse behavior, rider awareness, nervous system regulation, and how giving horses more responsibility can create calmer, more connected partnerships. If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly managing your horse every second of the ride, this episode will challenge you to notice more, control less, and start building true communication and flow with your horse. Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com [http://www.equusenlightened.com/] Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.   Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free!  https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened [https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened] Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened [https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened] Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart  https://equusenlightened.com/reconnect-rebuild-horse-human-partnership [https://equusenlightened.com/reconnect-rebuild-horse-human-partnership] Email me at Anna@equusenlightened.com [Anna@equusenlightened.comt] Happy Riding!