What to Do When Your Child Is Struggling and You Can't Reach Them

What to Do When Your Child Is Struggling and You Can't Reach Them

Few things ache like watching your child struggle when you've lost the access you used to have and there's nothing you can do to fix it. This episode looks at what to do with that helplessness, and how a grieving King David points the way toward loving and praying when you can't reach them. There’s a helplessness that comes with watching your own child struggle. You can see they're in pain, or drifting somewhere you can't follow, and the access you used to have is gone. The conversations you once had don't happen anymore, and the child you knew inside and out feels like a stranger some days. You lie awake at three in the morning replaying everything, wondering what you could have done differently. The worst part is the powerlessness. You would trade places with them in a heartbeat, and you can't. Mary DeMuth knew that place. She has written more than 50 books on faith and family, and when her three adult children walked away from the faith she raised them in, she did what she had spent years teaching others to do: she tried to fix it. She lectured, she reasoned, she circled back to conversations she had already had, and every attempt strained the relationship a little more. Then someone at a conference looked at her and said, "Your children know that you love them," and she burst into tears. That was the moment she stopped being the fixer and became the mother who stayed in the relationship and prayed. Scripture does not flinch from this kind of grief. When David's son Absalom betrayed him, tried to seize the throne, and died in the fighting, David fell apart. He cried out, "O my son Absalom! My son, my son." This was a father whose child had tried to destroy him, and what poured out was not rage but grief. A parent's love does not switch off when a child goes wrong. God built it that way, and He never asks you to stop loving a child who is far from where you wish they were. But loving a child and controlling one are two different things. You can love someone with everything in you and still have no power to fix what they are walking through. That is exactly where prayer stops being a last resort and becomes the main thing you can do. When you cannot reach your child, you can reach the God who can, and you can hand Him the one you cannot hold. In this episode, Bart draws on years of walking with families in this exact grief. It never gets easier on the parent, and harping at a child almost always drives them further away, however right you are. What holds is trusting God with the child you cannot control. Mary found that releasing her children to the God who loved them first was both the most difficult thing and the most freeing. Her children know she loves them. That was where God told her to start. BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER: * Why the helplessness of an unreachable child is its own kind of grief * What David's raw weeping over Absalom shows about a parent's love * Why prayer, not pressure, is the strongest thing you can do when you can't reach them Where your child goes isn't yours to control. What's yours is to keep loving them and to keep trusting them to the God who loves them even more than you do. Share This Episode: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/263 [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/263] Need Prayer? Leave me a voicemail: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemail [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemail] Want to keep these devotions coming? Please consider supporting this podcast. https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/ [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/] Rate and Review https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/ [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/] Connect with Bart Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusyliveshttps://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylives [https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylives] Website: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com] Feeling spiritually drained? Start here. Download your free copy of my eBook Making Time for Jesus https://daily-devotions-for-busy-lives.kit.com/b33aa395d1here: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/subscribe [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/subscribe]. Mentioned in this episode: Join Our Private Facebook Community If you're looking for a place to connect with other Daily Devotions listeners and pray for each other, I'd love for you to join our private Facebook community group. Come find us at https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/group

What to Do When You've Lost Your Job

Losing a job changes more than your bank account; it shakes your sense of who you are and leaves you wondering how long the in-between will last. This episode looks at how God meets people in that stretch, and why His provision tends to arrive in a shape you never planned for. Losing a job hits more than your bank account. It shakes how you see yourself, because a lot of who we think we are gets tied to what we do. The mornings feel strange without the thing that used to give the day a shape. You wake up with nowhere to be, the question of what you did wrong circling in the background, and no idea how long the stretch ahead will last. The not-knowing wears on you as much as the missing paycheck does. Keith Mitchell knew that stretch. In July 2023, his position was eliminated, and over the next eight months he applied to more than 100 jobs. All of it produced one in-person interview and four phone calls. He kept a folder on his phone titled "Current Petitions to God," where he wrote his prayers as if they had already been answered, and he kept writing and kept applying. By January 2024, he and his wife sensed God telling them something they didn't expect: stop applying, and just trust. So he stopped. Stopping took its own kind of faith. Scripture has a word for that in-between. Near the end of a long life, David wrote in Psalm 37:25 that he had never once seen the godly abandoned or their children begging for bread. That isn't a promise that the next paycheck lands on your schedule, or that provision looks the way you pictured. It usually arrives in a shape you didn't expect, from a direction you weren't watching. But it arrives. And God doesn't waste the waiting. He uses the stretch with no job and no answer yet to do work in you that the busy version of your life never had room for. Some of the deepest growth comes in months you would never have chosen. On March 18, 2024, a recruiter Keith had never contacted emailed him about a position he had never applied to. She had found his resume online. The job became, in his words, a direct answer to the prayer he had written months earlier, with compensation and benefits beyond what he could have planned for himself. It didn't come through any of the 100 applications he sent. It came through the one God lined up without him. In this episode, Bart shares his own experience of losing a good-paying job and finding a better one the very next week, while making clear that not every wait is that short. The encouragement runs both ways. You keep doing the practical work, the applications and the calls, and you hold it all loosely, trusting that the God who has never abandoned His people can open a door you never knocked on. Your worth was never in the job you lost. BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER: * Why losing a job shakes your identity, not only your finances * What David's lifelong testimony in Psalm 37:25 says about God's provision * How to keep working while you wait, without trying to hold the whole thing alone The God who has never abandoned His people isn't about to start with you. His provision is already on the way, even when you can't see it yet. Share This Episode: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/262 [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/262] Need Prayer? Leave me a voicemail: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemail [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemail] Want to keep these devotions coming? Please consider supporting this podcast. https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/ [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/] Rate and Review https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/ [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/] Connect with Bart Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusyliveshttps://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylives [https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylives] Website: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com] Feeling spiritually drained? Start here. Download your free copy of my eBook Making Time for Jesus https://daily-devotions-for-busy-lives.kit.com/b33aa395d1here: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/subscribe [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/subscribe]. Mentioned in this episode: Join Our Private Facebook Community If you're looking for a place to connect with other Daily Devotions listeners and pray for each other, I'd love for you to join our private Facebook community group. Come find us at https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/group

What to Do When You're Drowning in Debt

Debt is never only a math problem; it steals your sleep and loads on shame, convincing you to hide instead of ask for help. This episode looks at what God offers a person who's drowning in what they owe, and the deliberate path toward getting free. Debt is never only a math problem. It's the thing you turn over at 2 a.m. when you can't sleep, the knot in your stomach when an unknown number calls. And worse than the numbers is the shame: the sense that you should have known better, and that you'd better not let anyone find out. That shame often does more damage than the balance does, because it isolates you at the exact moment you need help the most. It convinces you that you're the only one in this spot, which is almost never the case. Dave Ramsey knows that ground from the inside. By 26 he had a net worth over a million dollars and a six-figure income, with the Jaguar and the real estate to match. The catch was that the whole thing was built on short-term debt. When the banks called those loans, he had 90 days to come up with millions he didn't have. He fought it for two and a half years, and in September 1988 the Ramseys filed for bankruptcy, on the same day the sheriff was set to haul off their furniture, including the crib their daughter still slept in. He hadn't told a soul what was happening. What he found at the bottom surprised him. He said he came to know God there in a way he never had on the way up. Scripture had described his situation long before he lived it. Proverbs 22:7 says the borrower is servant to the lender. It's a plain description of how debt works: when you owe money, the lender has a claim on you, and your paycheck is spoken for before it ever arrives. God gives that verse to name what you already feel, so you'll take it seriously enough to start getting free. There's no shame in it. Here's the encouraging part. What God offers someone in this spot is wisdom. He doesn't ask how you got here before He helps. He gives the next right step and stays with you for the long, unglamorous road out, because getting free of debt is slower than anyone wants. Many people, Bart and his wife included, have used the debt snowball to get there: list your debts smallest to largest, and attack the smallest one first while keeping the minimums going on the rest. As each debt falls, you roll its payment to the next. The momentum of an early win is what keeps you going. It's a series of unremarkable, disciplined months, but it works. In this episode, Bart speaks from his own experience of climbing out of debt more than once, and points to the God who meets people at the bottom and never shames them for being there. BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER: * Why debt is never only a financial problem, and what the shame does to a person * What Proverbs 22:7 names about the weight of owing, without condemning you for it * A practical, momentum-building way to start digging out What you owe doesn't get to decide what you're worth. God meets you with wisdom and His presence, and the way out comes one payment at a time. Share This Episode: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/261 [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/261] Need Prayer? Leave me a voicemail: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemail [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemail] Want to keep these devotions coming? Please consider supporting this podcast. https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/ [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/] Rate and Review https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/ [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/] Connect with Bart Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusyliveshttps://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylives [https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylives] Website: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com] Feeling spiritually drained? Start here. Download your free copy of my eBook Making Time for Jesus https://daily-devotions-for-busy-lives.kit.com/b33aa395d1here: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/subscribe [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/subscribe]. Mentioned in this episode: Join Our Private Facebook Community If you're looking for a place to connect with other Daily Devotions listeners and pray for each other, I'd love for you to join our private Facebook community group. Come find us at https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/group

When You've Finally Got What You Wanted and You're Still Not Satisfied

You spend years chasing a goal, you finally reach it, and within months the old restlessness is back. This episode looks at why no achievement ever fully satisfies, what researchers call hedonic adaptation, and how Solomon explains the ache as something God built into you on purpose. You work toward something for years. A promotion, or a house you'd saved years for. You finally get it, you celebrate, and for a few months it feels good. Then, somewhere around the three-month mark, a familiar restlessness creeps back in, the one you were sure this achievement would cure. Most people don't have a name for that feeling, so they assume they aimed at the wrong thing, or that they need to want something bigger next time. It's a disorienting experience, and almost nobody puts it into words, so you can end up feeling like something is wrong with you. There's a name for it, and it isn't a character flaw. Psychologists call it hedonic adaptation, first described by Brickman and Campbell in 1971. Their finding was plain: people have a happiness baseline they return to no matter what happens. A positive event produces a spike, then life settles back to where it was. The famous example is lottery winners. People who won hundreds of thousands of dollars were, within a few months to a year, about as happy as they had been before the win. The thing that was supposed to change everything had changed almost nothing. Researchers point to two reasons. The pleasure of anything new fades as it becomes familiar, and reaching a goal raises your expectations without your noticing, so the thing you just got stops delivering and you start wanting more. The novelist Ian McEwan made the same point: the remarkable becomes routine faster than we expect, because humans adapt to nearly anything. The new house becomes just the house. What felt like relief becomes the next starting line. Scripture said all of this long before the psychologists. Solomon had more wealth and experience than almost anyone in history, and he wrote that none of it filled him. He called it meaningless, like chasing the wind. Ecclesiastes 5:10 puts it bluntly: those who love money will never have enough. He ran the experiment all the way to the end and came back with the same result the research did. The reframe is the encouraging part. That emptiness is by design. God built your heart so that no created thing could ever be enough, because if a house or a raise could satisfy you completely, you would stop there and never come looking for Him. So the restlessness after you reach the goal is doing its job. It points past the gift to the Giver. In this episode, Bart shares his own version of the pattern, the milestones he looked forward to and the elation that wore off every time, teaching him slowly that the things of this world were never built to fill him. The next thing won't settle it. Only God will. BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER: * Why the satisfaction from a big achievement fades faster than you expect * What hedonic adaptation research reveals about lottery winners and happiness * How to read your restlessness as a compass that points you toward God The next thing was never going to be enough. The restlessness is an invitation to come home to the only One who satisfies. Share This Episode: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/260 [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/260] Need Prayer? Leave me a voicemail: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemail [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemail] Want to keep these devotions coming? Please consider supporting this podcast. https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/ [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/] Rate and Review https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/ [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/] Connect with Bart Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusyliveshttps://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylives [https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylives] Website: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com] Feeling spiritually drained? Start here. Download your free copy of my eBook Making Time for Jesus https://daily-devotions-for-busy-lives.kit.com/b33aa395d1here: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/subscribe [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/subscribe]. Mentioned in this episode: Join Our Private Facebook Community If you're looking for a place to connect with other Daily Devotions listeners and pray for each other, I'd love for you to join our private Facebook community group. Come find us at https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/group

How to Build Lasting Friendships as an Adult

The friendships that built themselves in school rarely replace themselves, and many adults end up without the kind of friend who'd drop everything. This episode looks at what research and Scripture say it takes to build close friendships as an adult, and the first step most of us skip. The friends we made before adulthood mostly built themselves. You lived in the same dorm or worked the same shift, and the hours added up without any effort. Then careers and kids pulled you one way and a move pulled you another, and somewhere in there you stopped collecting new friends. One day you look up and notice you don't have the kind of friend who'd drop everything and come over when something went wrong. That's a loss, and it's far more common than anyone admits. The difference now is that adult life rarely hands you those built-in hours. Nobody schedules them for you, so if friendship happens at all, you have to make it happen. A University of Kansas researcher named Jeffrey Hall put numbers on it. He surveyed 355 adults who had recently moved to a new city and tracked how the hours they spent together mapped onto closeness. It took about 50 hours to move from stranger to casual acquaintance, and 90 hours to reach a friendship. Reaching a close friendship took 200 hours or more. And the hours that counted most were spent over shared meals and unhurried time together, with no agenda attached. As Hall put it, you can't snap your fingers and make a friend. The takeaway is humbling: closeness is mostly a function of time, and time is the one thing busy adults guard most carefully. Scripture describes the same reality from a different angle. Proverbs 27:17 says that as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Picture what that takes: two blades pressed together, again and again, until each one gets sharper. Sharpening happens through contact, repeated and close. The friend who knows your story and shows up when it counts doesn't appear out of nowhere. That kind of friend gets built the slow way, through hours that feel unremarkable while they're happening. There's no shortcut around the time it takes, any more than you can sharpen a blade by waving it in the air. All of which points to the part most of us avoid: somebody has to go first. Hall's practical advice is to make time on purpose and invite people to lunch, signals that say you'd like to be friends. The awkward work is showing up enough times that the right person becomes a close one, and most of us stop short because we wait for it to feel natural before we invest. In this episode, Bart admits that as an introvert he'd rather be alone, and that keeping close friendships is something he has to work at on purpose, again and again. The friend you need may already be in your life. You're just not at 200 hours yet, so the move is simple: go to coffee first. BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER: * Why the friendships that came easy before adulthood rarely replace themselves * What Jeffrey Hall's research reveals about the hours it takes to build a close friend * The one awkward move that turns an acquaintance into a friend The friend you need is probably already nearby. You just have to be the one to start, one cup of coffee at a time. Share This Episode: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/259 [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/259] Need Prayer? Leave me a voicemail: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemail [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemail] Want to keep these devotions coming? Please consider supporting this podcast. https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/ [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/] Rate and Review https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/ [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/] Connect with Bart Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusyliveshttps://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylives [https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylives] Website: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com] Feeling spiritually drained? Start here. Download your free copy of my eBook Making Time for Jesus https://daily-devotions-for-busy-lives.kit.com/b33aa395d1here: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/subscribe [https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/subscribe]. Mentioned in this episode: Join Our Private Facebook Community If you're looking for a place to connect with other Daily Devotions listeners and pray for each other, I'd love for you to join our private Facebook community group. Come find us at https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/group