Lettuce pray: A parasite, a gutted CDC, and the produce that runs through you — Dingus of the Week Podcast #32

Lettuce pray: A parasite, a gutted CDC, and the produce that runs through you — Dingus of the Week Podcast #32

There's a parasite loose in America's lettuce: the diarrhea-causing Cyclospora parasite has developed quite the reputation, giving the word "explosive" new resonance. It won't surprise you to hear that President Donald Trumps gutting of the CDC did not leave its best parasite sleuths untouched. News reports [https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2026/07/15/how-much-did-cdc-cuts-really-impact-this-cyclosporiasis-outbreak/] have documented thousands of staff cut from the Food and Drug Administration and Centers for Disease Control. Food safety inspections have been going undone [https://www.reuters.com/world/us/us-fda-suspends-food-safety-quality-checks-after-staff-cuts-2025-04-17/]. And of course, nature abhors a vacuum. With no government agency telling people to pull certain leafy greens off the shelf, Taco Bell made the surprisingly sober decision to stop tucking shredded lettuce and tomato into your Crunchwrap. What a timeline. This week on DINGUS OF THE WEEK, LYZ LENS and ZACHARY OREN SMITH unwrap this shit sandwich and ask, didn't I ask for no lettuce? DINGUS OF THE WEEK is a weekly comedy news podcast where writers Lyz and Zach light a fire under the American rogue's gallery to see who comes spilling out. If you're tired of doom-scrolling but know ignoring the problem doesn't get us anywhere, this is your new weekend listen. New episodes every Saturday morning. SUPPORT THE SHOW BY SUBSCRIBING ON PATREON [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LyzLenz]. 👑 $5/month - Not a Dingus tier [https://www.patreon.com/checkout/LyzLenz?rid=26928874] (3 weekly newsletters, 1 podcast, and our entire archive) 👑👑 $10/month - Definitely Not a Dingus tier [https://www.patreon.com/checkout/LyzLenz?rid=26928880] (all the above + polls and topic submissions, a chat community, weekly discussions, comment access, and our love) SEND US YOUR DINGUS. Record a voice memo [http://memo.fm/dingus] and tell us who your dingus of the week is. Make it good and you'll hear your voice on the show. You can also email those to menyellatme@gmail.com [menyellatme@gmail.com].  FOLLOW DINGUS OF THE WEEK * Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@DingusoftheWeek] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dingusoftheweek/] LYZ LENZ is the HBIC of MYAM Media.  ZACHARY OREN SMITH writes about politics [https://www.instagram.com/zachosmith/#] for Iowa Starting Line. Follow his work on Instagram (http://instagram.com/zacharyorensmith) [http://instagram.com/zacharyorensmith)] and TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@zacharyorensmith). [https://www.tiktok.com/@zacharyorensmith).] LAURA BENITEZ [https://laurabenitezandtheheartache.com/index.html] wrote the theme song. [https://laurabenitezandtheheartache.com/index.html] SHOW RUNDOWN: 00:00 - Cold open: Trump's prime-time address. 11:53 - Intro 14:25 - Dingus: Cyclospora. 31:32 - Midroll: Lyz's Sunday Links post on the trad wife who "picked the wrong man" and why you can't choose your way out of a bad system. Subscribe at patreon.com/lyzlenz. [https://patreon.com/lyzlenz.] 35:39 - Lindsey Graham died. 40:23 - Listener Voicemail: Justine's bad boss is back. 47:05 - Joy: Lyz hangs a TV on a crumbling plaster wall and gets vindicated by a nice handyman.

Weekend at McConnell's: The GOP's undead Senate strategy — Dingus of the Week Podcast #31

Mitch McConnell hasn't been seen in public in nearly a month. No photo, no video, no floor vote — just a statement from his office insisting the 83-year-old Senate Republican leader is "fully engaged" from his hospital bed. Meanwhile, the Senate is back in session, a defense bill and national security votes are on the table, and the guy who chairs the Rules Committee and the defense appropriations panel is, functionally, a rumor. This week on DINGUS OF THE WEEK, LYZ LENS and ZACHARY OREN SMITH check the pulse on America's biggest mystery: is there a light on in there? DINGUS OF THE WEEK is a weekly comedy news podcast where writers Lyz and Zach light a fire under the American rogue's gallery to see who comes spilling out. If you're tired of doom-scrolling but know ignoring the problem doesn't get us anywhere, this is your new weekend listen. New episodes every Saturday morning. SUPPORT THE SHOW BY SUBSCRIBING ON PATREON [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LyzLenz]. 👑 $5/month - Not a Dingus tier [https://www.patreon.com/checkout/LyzLenz?rid=26928874] (3 weekly newsletters, 1 podcast, and our entire archive) 👑👑 $10/month - Definitely Not a Dingus tier [https://www.patreon.com/checkout/LyzLenz?rid=26928880] (all the above + polls and topic submissions, a chat community, weekly discussions, comment access, and our love) SEND US YOUR DINGUS. Record a voice memo [http://memo.fm/dingus] and tell us who your dingus of the week is. Make it good and you'll hear your voice on the show. You can also email those to menyellatme@gmail.com [menyellatme@gmail.com].  FOLLOW DINGUS OF THE WEEK * Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@DingusoftheWeek] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dingusoftheweek/] LYZ LENZ is the HBIC of MYAM Media.  ZACHARY OREN SMITH writes about politics [https://www.instagram.com/zachosmith/#] for Iowa Starting Line. Follow his work on Instagram (http://instagram.com/zacharyorensmith) [http://instagram.com/zacharyorensmith)] and TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@zacharyorensmith). [https://www.tiktok.com/@zacharyorensmith).] LAURA BENITEZ [https://laurabenitezandtheheartache.com/index.html] wrote the theme song. [https://laurabenitezandtheheartache.com/index.html] SHOW RUNDOWN: 00:00 - Cold open: Lyz's son wants to stay "average," not tall and Zach's trip to France 20:56 - Dingus: Schrödinger's Mitch McConnell. Hospitalized, unseen for weeks, and legally both alive and dead thanks to a Kentucky succession law. 43:51 - Midroll: "Dislodging that thing from his neck hole" and why you should subscribe on Patreon 55:15 - Game: Guess the Oldest 1:15:25 - Joy: Liz's crisis bob haircut 1:15:30 - Joy: Zach's baby, two ER trips in a month (and a socialized medicine rant). 1:22:18 - Outro.

Reflecting poorly: The president's $20M pool glow-down — Dingus of the Week Podcast #30

The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool is an awe-inspiring site. While maybe meant to evoke introspection, it mostly evokes laughter these days. President Donald Trump wanted to clean it up. To give it a fresh coat of American flag-blue paint. But now the pool is algae-green. The paint job is peeling. And Trump's budget for the renovation keeps growing by the day. This week on DINGUS OF THE WEEK, LYZ LENS and ZACHARY OREN SMITH wade into the murky, algae-filled waters and ask if maybe a little self-reflection was the real fix. DINGUS OF THE WEEK is a weekly comedy news podcast where writers Lyz and Zach light a fire under the American rogue's gallery to see who comes spilling out. If you're tired of doom-scrolling but know ignoring the problem doesn't get us anywhere, this is your new weekend listen. New episodes every Saturday morning. SUPPORT THE SHOW BY SUBSCRIBING ON PATREON [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LyzLenz]. 👑 $5/month - Not a Dingus tier [https://www.patreon.com/checkout/LyzLenz?rid=26928874] (3 weekly newsletters, 1 podcast, and our entire archive) 👑👑 $10/month - Definitely Not a Dingus tier [https://www.patreon.com/checkout/LyzLenz?rid=26928880] (all the above + polls and topic submissions, a chat community, weekly discussions, comment access, and our love) SEND US YOUR DINGUS. Record a voice memo [http://memo.fm/dingus] and tell us who your dingus of the week is. Make it good and you'll hear your voice on the show. You can also email those to menyellatme@gmail.com [menyellatme@gmail.com].  FOLLOW DINGUS OF THE WEEK * Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@DingusoftheWeek] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dingusoftheweek/] LYZ LENZ is the HBIC of MYAM Media.  ZACHARY OREN SMITH writes about politics [https://www.instagram.com/zachosmith/#] for Iowa Starting Line. Follow his work on Instagram (http://instagram.com/zacharyorensmith) [http://instagram.com/zacharyorensmith)] and TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@zacharyorensmith). [https://www.tiktok.com/@zacharyorensmith).] LAURA BENITEZ [https://laurabenitezandtheheartache.com/index.html] wrote the theme song. [https://laurabenitezandtheheartache.com/index.html] SHOW RUNDOWN: ---------------------------------------- 00:00 - Relay Iowa recap: Lyz ran 42 miles and fell down a hill. Zach had AC. 05:30 - Intro 06:30 - Dingus: The Reflecting Pool. Trump spends $20M painting it blue. It fills with algae in 24 hours. 22:00 - Midroll: Lyz is above a bookstore in Maine. Patreon.com/lyzlenz. [https://Patreon.com/lyzlenz.] 26:00 - Entitled Goose Game 32:00 - Listener Dingus: Izzy nominates Mike Lee for Fidelity Month. Lyz sends him to hell. 39:00 - "Shittinary" is coined. 40:00 - Joy: Zach gets sick baby snuggles. Lyz eats a lobster roll in Maine. 46:00 - Outro

The Claw is the law: A UFC octagon on the White House lawn — Dingus of the Week Podcast #29

There is a 90-foot-tall, 600-ton steel structure on the South Lawn of the White House, assembled on grounds normally used for Easter egg rolls, Marine One departures, and a garden honoring presidents' children. UFC calls it The Claw. The event — UFC Freedom 250 — is scheduled for June 14, coinciding with Flag Day and Trump's 80th birthday. In the weeks before the fight, Trump invested up to $50,000 in TKO Holdings, UFC's parent company. Then he posted a TikTok suggesting The Claw might never come down, comparing it to the Eiffel Tower. He later said he was joking. He was joking, right? This week on DINGUS OF THE WEEK, LYZ LENZ and ZACHARY OREN SMITH ask: at what point does the bit become the thing itself? Also, get the real scoop on two Iowa elections that are getting the national press talking. We just wish they talked to anyone who actually lived here. We're raising money for Iowa Migrant Movement for Justice. Lend a hand! Join us in supporting IMMJ [https://iowammj.ourpowerbase.net/civicrm/contribute/transact?reset=1&id=19] DINGUS OF THE WEEK is a weekly comedy news podcast where writers Lyz and Zach light a fire under the American rogue's gallery to see who comes spilling out. If you're tired of doom-scrolling but know ignoring the problem doesn't get us anywhere, this is your new weekend listen. New episodes every Saturday morning. SUPPORT THE SHOW BY SUBSCRIBING ON PATREON [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LyzLenz]. 👑 $5/month - Not a Dingus tier [https://www.patreon.com/checkout/LyzLenz?rid=26928874] (3 weekly newsletters, 1 podcast, and our entire archive) 👑👑 $10/month - Definitely Not a Dingus tier [https://www.patreon.com/checkout/LyzLenz?rid=26928880] (all the above + polls and topic submissions, a chat community, weekly discussions, comment access, and our love) SEND US YOUR DINGUS. Record a voice memo [http://memo.fm/dingus] and tell us who your dingus of the week is. Make it good and you'll hear your voice on the show. You can also email those to menyellatme@gmail.com [menyellatme@gmail.com].  FOLLOW DINGUS OF THE WEEK * Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@DingusoftheWeek] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dingusoftheweek/] LYZ LENZ is the HBIC of MYAM Media.  ZACHARY OREN SMITH writes about politics [https://www.instagram.com/zachosmith/#] for Iowa Starting Line. Follow his work on Instagram (http://instagram.com/zacharyorensmith) [http://instagram.com/zacharyorensmith)] and TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@zacharyorensmith). [https://www.tiktok.com/@zacharyorensmith).] LAURA BENITEZ [https://laurabenitezandtheheartache.com/index.html] wrote the theme song. [https://laurabenitezandtheheartache.com/index.html] SHOW RUNDOWN: 00:15 - Teen girl music 07:29 - Geese isn't a psyop. You just don't know what music like. 08:00 - Intro 09:20 - Iowa Primary 2026: Kansan Koch son-in-law Zach Lahn beats out low energy Randy Feenstra 27:29 - Iowa Primary 2026: Josh Turek's landslide victory over Zach Wahls 45:01 - Midroll: For Relay Iowa, Our team High Fructose Corn Sweat is running a race across Iowa raising money for Iowa Migrant Movement for Justice. [https://iowammj.ourpowerbase.net/civicrm/contribute/transact?reset=1&id=19] 50:18 - Dingus: The White House's Claw 01:05:52 - Listener Dingus: driver doesn't watch for pedestrian in the crosswalk 01:17:09 - Joy: Lyz is lost in her new book project. Zach talks honeysuckle.

The Hills are alive with the sound of dingus: Spencer Pratt for mayor — Dingus of the Week Podcast #28

Spencer Pratt was reality television's first fully self-aware villain — a man who admitted, on camera, that he was performing villainy for an audience. He staged a fake divorce, manipulated storylines, and turned being unlikeable into a career. The Hills did make him famous. It also made him a case study in how American media rewards people who understand that the camera is on and someone's watching. He knew the game before most people knew there was a game. There wasn't much to report recently, and then his house burned down in the Palisades fire, and something unexpected happened: Spencer Pratt got real. He showed up to protests. He got angry on behalf of his neighbors. He announced a mayoral campaign at the one-year anniversary of the fires... and people didn't laugh him out of the room. He is currently polling at 22%, just behind incumbent Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass, and is a legitimate threat to make the runoff. The man who was professionally fake is now genuinely running to lead a real city. The joke of Spencer Pratt running for mayor only works if Spencer Pratt is the punchline. But the longer you look at it, the more you realize the punchline might be us. We built the machine that made him. We watched The Hills. We rewarded performance over substance for two decades and then expressed shock when a performer showed up with a policy platform. Spencer Pratt didn't corrupt American politics. He just followed the incentives, a map we drew for him. This week on DINGUS OF THE WEEK, LYZ LENZ and ZACHARY OREN SMITH follow Spencer Pratt from The Hills to City Hall and find the view from both places is equally bleak. DINGUS OF THE WEEK is a weekly comedy news podcast where writers Lyz and Zach light a fire under the American rogue's gallery to see who comes spilling out. If you're tired of doom-scrolling but know ignoring the problem doesn't get us anywhere, this is your new weekend listen. New episodes every Saturday morning. SUPPORT THE SHOW BY SUBSCRIBING ON PATREON [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LyzLenz]. 👑 $5/month - Not a Dingus tier [https://www.patreon.com/checkout/LyzLenz?rid=26928874] (3 weekly newsletters, 1 podcast, and our entire archive) 👑👑 $10/month - Definitely Not a Dingus tier [https://www.patreon.com/checkout/LyzLenz?rid=26928880] (all the above + polls and topic submissions, a chat community, weekly discussions, comment access, and our love) SEND US YOUR DINGUS. Record a voice memo [http://memo.fm/dingus] and tell us who your dingus of the week is. Make it good and you'll hear your voice on the show. You can also email those to menyellatme@gmail.com [menyellatme@gmail.com].  FOLLOW DINGUS OF THE WEEK * Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@DingusoftheWeek] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dingusoftheweek/] LYZ LENZ is the HBIC of MYAM Media.  ZACHARY OREN SMITH writes about politics [https://www.instagram.com/zachosmith/#] for Iowa Starting Line. Follow his work on Instagram (http://instagram.com/zacharyorensmith) [http://instagram.com/zacharyorensmith)] and TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@zacharyorensmith). [https://www.tiktok.com/@zacharyorensmith).] LAURA BENITEZ [https://laurabenitezandtheheartache.com/index.html] wrote the theme song. [https://laurabenitezandtheheartache.com/index.html] SHOW RUNDOWN: 00:00 — Cold open: Lyz's Wikifeet profile 08:05 — Intro 9:26 — Dingus: Spencer Pratt is polling at 22% and America has no one to blame but itself 40:25 — Runner-up: The DOJ investigates E. Jean Carroll while Trump's $5 million judgment collects dust 50:55 — Midroll: Hot Divorcee Summer 55:07 — GAME: Stars turned politicians 01:06:06 — Joy: the NYT pickle brine margarita, [https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1025573-pickle-brine-margarita]Tom Lin's Babylon, South Dakota [https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/tom-lin/babylon-south-dakota/9780316576277/?lens=little-brown], [https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/tom-lin/babylon-south-dakota/9780316576277/?lens=little-brown] and Pope's Magnifica Humanitas. 01:19:08 — Close