When Anxiety Goes to Bed with You: Why You Can't Relax Enough for Sex ft. Dr. Karianne Bilsky

Ask the Sexpert: Your Questions, Honest Answers

Some of the best conversations happen when you ask the questions. In this Ask Me Anything episode, I tackle four honest questions that many Christians are asking but few feel comfortable saying out loud. What do you do when purity culture left you without the words to tell your spouse what you want in the bedroom? How do you reconnect after having a baby when exhaustion, different schedules, and a baby in your room seem to kill every opportunity for intimacy? What if you're an autistic husband who struggles to recognize your wife's signals or initiate sex? And how do you parent with both truth and grace when your child makes a sexual decision you never wanted for them? This episode is full of practical advice, biblical perspective, and plenty of reassurance that healthy intimacy isn't about perfection—it's about learning, growing, communicating, and extending grace to ourselves and the people we love. Whether you're healing from purity culture, navigating a new season of marriage, or wrestling with questions you've never known how to ask, this conversation will remind you that you're not alone. This is the final episode of Season 2 of the Go Have Good Sex Podcast. I am taking a break for the summer, and will be back in the fall with lots of new conversations about sex & intimacy in Christian marriage! If you will simply miss me too much over the summer, join my Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/TheChristianSexpert ] where I will still be posting regularly! And don't forget to Go Have Good Sex this summer! Resources referenced in this episode: She Deserves Better [https://amzn.to/444Dr3P] by Gregoire, Lindenbach, & Sawatsky (Aff link) The Marriage You Want [https://amzn.to/444Dr3P] by Gregoire & Gregoire (Aff link) Come As You Are [https://amzn.to/4atMkaO] by Emily Nagoski (Aff link) Intimate Conversations [https://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-griffith/intimate-conversations/paperback/product-kvwemwj.html] 31 Days of Intimacy [https://www.thechristiansexpert.com/shop/p/31-days-of-intimacy] Conversation Cards [https://amzn.to/4aSl6eb] (Aff link) Ditch Date Night Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/episode/1yeZvnkgPH9JIWOIkvzykB?si=vn5wM6PvQ96sDZGKXpWYog] Smart Color Changing Light Bulb [https://amzn.to/4gRxUF5] (Aff link) Color Changing Light Bulb with Remote [https://amzn.to/4vODAoi] (Aff link) Private Coaching with Angela [https://thechristiansexpert.as.me/newclient] Talking to Your Kids About Sex Without Shame [https://pearlinprocess.podia.com/talking-to-kids-about-sex-creating-a-sexual-legacy-you-re-proud-of] by Dr. Ashley Hudson Sex Ed Reclaimed [https://www.sexedreclaimed.com/ref/12/] Amazon Storefront for Talking to Your Kids About Sex [https://www.amazon.com/shop/thechristiansexpert/list/1XRBB1UHVUWVF?tag=angelagriffit-20&ref_=aip_sf_list_spv_ofs_mixed_d&ccs_id=f26076a8-ec12-42ce-9286-c951a97cf5dc] (Aff link) To support me, The Christian Sexpert, make sure you are checking out all of my resources, and of course, a Cash App gift helps me do all these things you love! ⁠⁠ Website⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.TheChristianSexpert.com] Book Coaching with Angela [https://thechristiansexpert.as.me/newclient] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/thechristiansexpert] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thechristians_xpert] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thechristiansexpert/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMrHEas4zWmIIHpa4ZmM-JA] Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/show/3g0AyCEhQrUpojLdy2bFV8?si=Jm6bgJL-QAu2ki6kdTItCA] Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/TheChristianSexpert] CashApp⁠⁠ $TheChristianSexpert Note: These show notes contain external links to products and services. The Christian Sexpert may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

Beyond the Sex Talk: Relationship Skills You Forgot to Teach Your Kids ft. Ruby Falk, MA, LPC

We spend a lot of time teaching kids about sex, boundaries, and dating. But how often do we intentionally teach them how to build a healthy relationship? In this episode, Angela sits down with licensed therapist and relationship coach Ruby Falk to discuss the relationship skills every child should learn long before they enter a romantic relationship. Together they explore what it means to maintain your identity while caring for a partner, why you're not responsible for someone else's emotions, how healthy couples handle conflict, and why emotional safety matters more than perfection. They also discuss the importance of letting kids witness healthy conflict and repair, helping children learn to respond rather than react, and teaching them not only how to say "no," but how to recognize an authentic "yes." Whether you're raising young children, navigating the teen years, or simply reflecting on the relationship lessons you wish you'd learned sooner, this conversation offers practical wisdom for building healthier relationships across generations. In this episode: * The difference between selflessness and losing yourself * Why you aren't responsible for another person's feelings * How healthy couples repair after conflict * Why kids need to see parents disagree and reconcile * What emotional safety actually looks like * Relationship skills that matter far beyond dating To connect with Ruby: Website [http://www.Rubytalksrelationships.com] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rubytalksrelationships/] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@rubytalksrelationships?lang=en] Things referenced in this episode: Ruby's TikTok Post [https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTB8RMcDa/] Raising Sexually Healthy Kids Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Uvcpro8whiVW53vKh9YZH?si=dMtMLh-kS_qlemgiCLZdYQ] Talking to Your Kids About Sex Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/episode/6l3MkyS9817VZjEvOZOeSd?si=z7AE0x9UTbq3cWZ1-hzRWw&t=10&pi=1WC_t_gtRCmdn] Sex Education for Tweens & Teens Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/episode/0Xt5iTU9LGh1glM8YpXR49?si=Z8v1Ss1LS8ORU-g_prPPTw&pi=xCRxrYLQSseoK&t=0] Let's Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent, & Respect [https://amzn.to/4aUy4b2] by Jayneen Sanders (aff link) What Feelings Do When No One is Looking [https://amzn.to/3QQ17FQ] by Tina Oziewicz (aff link) The Rabbit Listened [https://amzn.to/4vuYmJj] by Cori Doerrfeld (aff link) To support me, The Christian Sexpert, make sure you are checking out all of my resources, and of course, a Cash App gift helps me do all these things you love! ⁠⁠ Website⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.TheChristianSexpert.com] Book Coaching with Angela [https://thechristiansexpert.as.me/newclient] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/thechristiansexpert] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thechristians_xpert] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thechristiansexpert/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMrHEas4zWmIIHpa4ZmM-JA] Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/show/3g0AyCEhQrUpojLdy2bFV8?si=Jm6bgJL-QAu2ki6kdTItCA] Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/TheChristianSexpert] CashApp⁠⁠ $TheChristianSexpert Note: These show notes contain external links to products and services. The Christian Sexpert may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

Maybe It's Not Low Libido: ADHD, Executive Function, & Sex ft. Dr. Leann Borneman, PhD, LCSW, CST

If you've ever wanted sex in theory but couldn't seem to get yourself interested in the moment, this episode may explain why. For years, conversations about desire have focused on libido, hormones, and responsive desire. But what if the problem isn't a lack of desire at all? What if the real issue is executive functioning? In this episode, I sit down with clinical sexologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and ADHD sexuality researcher Dr. Leann Borneman to explore the often-overlooked connection between ADHD and sexual intimacy. Together we discuss: • Why ADHD is frequently mistaken for low libido • The role executive functioning plays in desire and sexual initiation • Task switching, mental load, and why getting started can feel impossible • Rejection sensitivity and its impact on intimacy • Attention, arousal, and why orgasm can be more difficult for ADHD brains • Sensory seeking, sensory sensitivities, and changing preferences from one day to the next • How neurotypical relationship expectations create shame in ADHD partnerships Whether you have ADHD yourself, suspect you might, or love someone who does, this conversation offers practical insights that can help couples stop blaming each other and start understanding what's actually happening beneath the surface. Because sometimes what looks like a desire problem is really a brain wiring problem. I must add a disclaimer to this episode: I did the MOST ADHD thing I could have done with this episode (short of forgetting to record it): I forgot to plug in my mic. I've done all I could, but the audio is less than what I hoped it would be. I apologize for the inconsistency, and promise to do better moving forward! To connect with Dr. Leann: Website [http://www.bornemancoaching.com] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/drb_unfiltered/] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@drb_unfiltered] YouTube AASECT CEU Course [https://www.bornemancoaching.com/challenges] Executive Function 101 Ebook [https://www.bornemancoaching.com/product-page/the-adhd-bundle] Resources referenced in this episode: Coaching with Angela [https://thechristiansexpert.as.me/newclient] Intimate Conversations Sex Journal [https://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-griffith/intimate-conversations/paperback/product-kvwemwj.html] To support me, The Christian Sexpert, make sure you are checking out all of my resources, and of course, a Cash App gift helps me do all these things you love! ⁠⁠ Website⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.TheChristianSexpert.com] Book Coaching with Angela [https://thechristiansexpert.as.me/newclient] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/thechristiansexpert] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thechristians_xpert] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thechristiansexpert/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMrHEas4zWmIIHpa4ZmM-JA] Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/show/3g0AyCEhQrUpojLdy2bFV8?si=Jm6bgJL-QAu2ki6kdTItCA] Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/TheChristianSexpert] CashApp⁠⁠ $TheChristianSexpert Note: These show notes contain external links to products and services. The Christian Sexpert may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

When Anxiety Goes to Bed with You: Why You Can't Relax Enough for Sex ft. Dr. Karianne Bilsky

Anxiety doesn't stay in your head—it follows you into your relationships, your marriage, and yes, your bedroom. In this episode, I sit down with licensed psychologist Dr. Karianne Bilsky to talk about the often-overlooked connection between anxiety and intimacy. Together, we unpack how anxiety affects desire, arousal, connection, and your ability to be present during sex. We discuss why "just relax" isn't helpful advice, and what happens when your nervous system is constantly operating on high alert. If you've ever found yourself overthinking during intimacy, feeling touched out, struggling to relax, or wondering why sex feels more stressful than enjoyable, this conversation is for you. You'll learn: • How anxiety affects desire and arousal • Why anxious brains struggle with intimacy • The role your nervous system plays in sexual connection • Practical ways couples can create more safety and connection The number one section you don't want to miss? When Dr. Karianne explains why even if you don't have an anxiety diagnosis, you can't switch into sexy mode as a touched-out mom. (She blew even my mind with this one!) Sometimes the problem isn't your marriage—and it isn't your sex life. Sometimes it's anxiety. Disclaimer: Nothing in this episode should be considered medical advice. Please take whatever information you learn from this episode and discuss it with your own doctor. Resources referenced in this episode: Come As You Are [https://amzn.to/49Fuykr] by Emily Nagoski (Amazon aff link) Dr. Karianne's First Episode on The Go Have Good Sex Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/episode/3UOUUJhONuFbFeR2xXyeDg?si=l5EXFLk2ReOMFg54XliEgA&pi=JfXf5wTvSLe_v&t=10] Rub Me the Right Way [https://open.spotify.com/episode/5AWTIAdugkG8LzyOeyp3jj?si=HBQievUJS2ymA0GUbz1sbg&pi=7mMJvoTvSCmux&t=10]: Massage Episode on The Go Have Good Sex Podcast Angela's Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/TheChristianSexpert] She Comes First [https://amzn.to/4vt4y3Y] by Ian Kerner (Amazon aff link) To support me, The Christian Sexpert, make sure you are checking out all of my resources, and of course, a Cash App gift helps me do all these things you love! ⁠⁠ Website⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.TheChristianSexpert.com] Book Coaching with Angela [https://thechristiansexpert.as.me/newclient] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/thechristiansexpert] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thechristians_xpert] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thechristiansexpert/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMrHEas4zWmIIHpa4ZmM-JA] Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/show/3g0AyCEhQrUpojLdy2bFV8?si=Jm6bgJL-QAu2ki6kdTItCA] Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/TheChristianSexpert] CashApp⁠⁠ $TheChristianSexpert Note: These show notes contain external links to products and services. The Christian Sexpert may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

Why Depression Changes Your Sex Life ft. Dr. Karianne Bilsky, PhD

Disclaimer: Nothing in this episode is intended to be medical advice. Please take any information your learn in this episode to a discussion with your own personal doctor. Trigger warnings for discussion of depression and suicide.  Depression doesn’t just impact your mood. It impacts your body, your nervous system, your relationships, your energy, your intimacy, and sometimes even your ability to recognize yourself. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Karianne Bilsky, PhD for an honest conversation about depression, mental health, and the things Christians are often told that make struggling people feel even more isolated. Because “just pray more” is not a treatment plan. And pretending you’re fine doesn’t magically make you healthy. We talk about: * What depression can actually feel like in real life * How depression impacts marriage, connection, and intimacy * If "pushing through" sex is a good strategy * Medication stigma in Christian spaces * What support actually looks like * Why struggling mentally does not make you weak, broken, or a “bad Christian” We also unpack the pressure many people feel to perform wellness while privately drowning—and why curiosity, support, and honesty matter so much more than toxic positivity. If you’ve ever wondered why you can love God, love your spouse, and still feel exhausted, numb, disconnected, or hopeless… this conversation is for you. And if you love someone battling depression, this episode may help you understand them with more compassion and less judgment. Spoiler: healing is rarely as simple as “trying harder.” Items referenced in this episode: Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/TheChristianSexpert] Romantic Blessings [http://www.RomanticBlessings.com] - my Christian sex toy website partner. Use code SPERT10 for 10% off your purchase National Crisis Hotline [https://988lifeline.org/] - Call 988 Intimate Conversations [https://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-griffith/intimate-conversations/paperback/product-kvwemwj.html] Coaching with Angela [https://thechristiansexpert.as.me/newclient] To support me, The Christian Sexpert, make sure you are checking out all of my resources, and of course, a Cash App gift helps me do all these things you love! ⁠⁠ Website⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.TheChristianSexpert.com] Book Coaching with Angela [https://thechristiansexpert.as.me/newclient] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/thechristiansexpert] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thechristians_xpert] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thechristiansexpert/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMrHEas4zWmIIHpa4ZmM-JA] Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/show/3g0AyCEhQrUpojLdy2bFV8?si=Jm6bgJL-QAu2ki6kdTItCA] Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/TheChristianSexpert] CashApp⁠⁠ $TheChristianSexpert Note: These show notes contain external links to products and services. The Christian Sexpert may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.