Why I Built This

They Don't Target Your Weaknesses. They Target Your Strengths. | FightCybercrime.org

What does it actually sound like when a romance fraud victim calls for help for the first time? Ally Armeson knows. As Executive Director of FightCybercrime.org [http://FightCybercrime.org], she's taken those calls, run the recovery groups, and watched the patterns evolve in real time — and what she's seeing should wake all of us up. In this episode, Ally and I talk about the moment victims finally reach out (and why it often takes years), how crypto investment fraud grows out of romance scams, why being scammed once makes you a prime target for being scammed again, and what actually helps people heal. We also get into the reframe that changes everything: scammers don't exploit your vulnerabilities. They exploit your kindness, your hope, and your desire to take care of the people you love. This one hit differently. I think you'll feel it too. GUEST BIO Ally Armeson is the Executive Director of FightCybercrime.org [http://FightCybercrime.org], where she leads national initiatives to help individuals and communities recognize, report, and recover from cybercrime. A former U.S. Army service member with over a decade of experience, Ally developed and led humanitarian and community recovery programs in vulnerable regions globally. For the past four years, she and her team have worked directly with survivors of online fraud, building and operating one of the only structured, outcomes-tracked peer support programs for romance fraud and crypto investment fraud victims in the country. She holds an MBA from the University of North Carolina Kenan-Flagler Business School. ---------------------------------------- ABOUT FIGHTCYBERCRIME.ORG [http://FIGHTCYBERCRIME.ORG] FightCybercrime.org [http://FightCybercrime.org] is a national 501(c)(3) nonprofit dedicated to empowering individuals to recognize, report, and recover from cybercrime. They provide free, virtual peer support groups for survivors of romance fraud and crypto investment fraud, each led by licensed counselors and designed specifically for those who have experienced severe financial and emotional harm. Beyond direct services, FightCybercrime develops prevention resources, collaborates with law enforcement and consumer protection agencies, and advocates for solutions that better protect fraud victims nationwide. 🌐 fightcybercrime.org [http://fightcybercrime.org] 🌐 scamspotter.org [http://scamspotter.org]

The Psychology of Fraud with Dr. Martina Dove

Most people think getting scammed is about missing red flags. It's not. It's about being human. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Martina Dove, a scam psychology expert who spent years researching the exact mechanisms that make fraud work — the psychology of trust, the architecture of manipulation, and why smart people hand over money to strangers. We talk about what actually makes people vulnerable (spoiler: it's not intelligence), why dating platforms are fraud playgrounds, and what it takes to build systems that protect people instead of just educating them to be smarter. Martina walks us through the Barnum effect, synthetic fraud, and why meeting in person matters more than we think. This conversation is about taking the shame out of vulnerability. Because if we're serious about building safer systems, we need to start with what actually makes people susceptible — not what we think should protect them. About Dr. Martina Dove: Dr. Martina Dove is a research and product strategy consultant and scam psychology subject matter expert. Her work focuses on the human side of fraud, exploring the factors that can make people more vulnerable to scams, as well as the persuasion techniques fraudsters use to manipulate their victims. With a background in user experience research and product strategy, Martina helps organizations design more effective fraud prevention strategies by better understanding user behavior, decision-making, and points of vulnerability. Martina is especially passionate about destigmatizing fraud victimization and empowering people to recognize and resist scammers' tactics. She is committed to fighting fraud through education and awareness, helping individuals spot even the most sophisticated scam techniques. She has published a book on fraud psychology, actively supports fraud prevention non-profits, and regularly writes for industry blogs on fraud and consumer protection. Connect with Martina: Website: martinadove.com [http://martinadove.com] Get Martina's Book: The Psychology of Fraud, Persuasion and Scam Techniques https://www.routledge.com/The-Psychology-of-Fraud-Persuasion-and-Scam-Techniques-Understanding-What-Makes-Us-Vulnerable/Dove/p/book/9781032953908 [https://www.routledge.com/The-Psychology-of-Fraud-Persuasion-and-Scam-Techniques-Understanding-What-Makes-Us-Vulnerable/Dove/p/book/9781032953908] Join Pare Dating today — where everyone's verified and safety actually comes first. paredating.com [http://paredating.com]

Why I Built This

"WHY I BUILT THIS" ---------------------------------------- Most dating apps let you create a profile in five minutes. No ID. No background check. Nothing. That's not a bug. That's a decision. When my mom started dating again after 30 years, I helped her set up her profiles. What I found scared me. Fake profiles everywhere. Men who weren't who they said they were. And not a single platform doing anything meaningful to stop it. So I started digging. And what I found was worse than I ever imagined. In this first episode of Heart & Hazard, I'm sharing the story that started all of this — why the people most at risk on dating apps aren't teenagers, why smart people fall for romance scams, and why the platforms know and do nothing. This isn't a show about being cautious. It's a show about being informed. And there is a difference. ---------------------------------------- SHOW NOTES Episode 1: Why I Built This If something about modern dating has felt off to you — you're right. In this episode, I share the story behind Pare Dating and the reason I couldn't stay quiet about what's happening on dating apps today. It starts with my mom, who re-entered the dating world after 30 years and encountered something I wasn't prepared for. What began as helping her set up a profile turned into a year and a half of research that changed everything I thought I knew about the online dating industry. We cover: * Why dating apps are structurally incentivized to allow fake profiles and scammers * Who is actually being targeted — and why * The psychology behind romance scams and why "trust your gut" doesn't work * Real stories of what happens when scammers go beyond money * What I built to try to fix it, and why safety doesn't have to ruin dating Stats mentioned in this episode: * In 2023, Americans reported losing over $672 million to romance scams (FTC) * An estimated 5–10% of romance scam victims ever come forward to report it * 1 in 3 women who have used a dating app report being harassed * Romance fraud targets people over 50 more than any other age group Update since recording: A Washington Times report published in April 2025 estimates Americans lost over $3 billion to romance scams in 2024 — up from $1.2 billion the year prior. The numbers are only getting worse. ---------------------------------------- About Pare Dating Pare is a dating experience built specifically for adults over 40. Every person on the platform is verified with a government-issued ID, a criminal background check, and sex offender registry screening before they can connect with anyone. Pare is currently in early access. If you want to be one of the first people on the platform, the link is below. 🔗 [Join Pare Early Access] → www.paredating.com [http://www.paredating.com] 🔗 ---------------------------------------- If you or someone you know has been affected by romance fraud: * Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre: www.antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca [http://www.antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca] | 1-888-495-8501 * FTC (US) Report Fraud: reportfraud.ftc.gov [http://reportfraud.ftc.gov] * Romance Scam reporting (US): www.ic3.gov [http://www.ic3.gov]