EP 21. Who Taught Them That?

EP 21. Who Taught Them That?

Episode number: EP21 Podcast: Like Me Officially with J'K Frederick Category: Society & Culture / Gender-Based Violence / Policy & Accountability In 2024, over 122,000 child sexual abuse and exploitation offences were recorded in England and Wales. Half were committed by children aged 10 to 17. Online offences rose 26% in a single year. Over half of all recorded cases are child on child. Something is being taught to our young people. And it is being taught young. This episode of Like Me Officially examines the ecosystem shaping adolescent boys and girls — the manosphere, the structural failures that left young people without community, the algorithm that filled the gap, and where responsibility actually lands. Who Taught Them That? The Danger of the Adolescent Ecosystem. Episode summary In 2024, the Youth Justice Board confirmed that proven sexual offences committed by children rose by 47% in one year and a further 6% the following year. 33% of children reported seeing content online that encourages violence against women and girls. Barnardo's found that one in seven girls aged 13 to 15 had been asked to send nude images. In this episode, J'K Frederick asks three questions she couldn't stop thinking about. How does a 13-year-old boy commit a sexual offence against a girl he goes to school with and believe that was acceptable? Why does a boy who grows up watching a man hurt a woman repeat that behaviour ten years later and call it normal? How are girls being groomed online, moved onto encrypted apps, exploited, and then used to recruit other girls — and why is it still happening? The answer isn't one person. It isn't one platform. It isn't one piece of content. It is the ecosystem. J'K traces how social media algorithms connect everyday interests — fitness, gaming, music, self-improvement — to harmful content gradually, across hundreds of videos, without anyone noticing. She examines the 73% cut to UK youth services since 2010 that left young people without community and without the adults who would have spotted the problem early. She looks at what the neuroscience of adolescent brain development says about why current approaches in schools may be making things worse. She names girls as both victims and participants in online harm — and asks what shaped them too. She also shares what she witnessed growing up — domestic violence in real time — and draws a direct line to how early exposure shapes long-term sensitivities, hyper-awareness, and the fuel it takes to fight back. This episode also examines what governments are doing — age restriction legislation in Australia, the UK, and China — and why restriction alone is not enough when the influencers in question don't need the main platforms to reach young people. It ends with a call to the village. And a question about whether the adults in the room have decided that's their responsibility. What this episode answers What is the manosphere and where did the term come from? How do social media algorithms connect boys to harmful content? What happened to UK youth services after 2010? What does the developing adolescent brain have to do with online radicalisation? Why are gender equity lessons in schools potentially making things worse for some boys? What is the Youth Justice Board evidence review and what did it find? What are Australia, the UK and China doing about social media and children? Why is restriction not the same as protection? Are girls only victims in this conversation — or is the picture more complicated? What does an actual whole-of-society response to VAWG look like? What does the UK's VAWG strategy actually require to work? Key topics covered The manosphere as ecosystem — Movember UK research, 2025 Social media algorithms and cultural touchpoints — inverted iceberg model UK youth services funding cuts 2010 to 2021 — 73% reduction, 4,500 jobs, 760 centres Child poverty in the UK — 4.5 million children in relative low income Adolescent brain development — prefrontal cortex, peer approval, neurological vulnerability Professor Jessica Ringrose, UCL — defensive responses to gender equity lessons Youth Justice Board evidence review — child-on-child sexual offences, algorithm-driven harm Barnardo's UK — online exploitation and peer pressure data UK drill music — court cases, Ofcom investigations, Metropolitan Police injunctions Domestic abuse and major England football matches — 26% and 38% increase data Australia's social media ban — under-16s, 4.7 million accounts restricted UK Children's Wellbeing and Schools Act 2026 — restrictions for under-16s China's gaming and social media time limits — enforcement challenges UK Violence Against Women and Girls Strategy 2025 Proverbs 22:6 — train up a child Whitney Houston — I believe the children are our future If you need support Rape Crisis England & Wales — free, confidential support for anyone affected by sexual violence. rapecrisis.org.uk [http://rapecrisis.org.uk] 0808 500 2222 — free, 24 hours, 7 days a week Rape Crisis Scotland rapecrisisscotland.org.uk [http://rapecrisisscotland.org.uk] 08088 01 03 02 Links and Resources Research and Data Youth Justice Board Evidence Review — official UK data tracking youth justice trends and proven child-on-child offences Youth Justice Resource Hub — gov.uk/government/organisations/youth-justice-board-for-england-and-wales Movember Institute of Men's Health — full research into young men's health, the manosphere ecosystem, and masculinity influencer statistics uk.movember.com/movember-institute/masculinities-report UK Violence Against Women and Girls Strategy 2025 — the government's stated strategy on education, prevention, and early intervention gov.uk/government/publications/tackling-violence-against-women-and-girls-strategy Barnardo's UK — community reporting on adolescent experiences with online exploitation and digital harassment barnardos.org.uk [http://barnardos.org.uk] Legislation UK Children's Wellbeing and Schools Act 2026 — restrictions on social media for under-16s legislation.gov.uk [http://legislation.gov.uk] UK Online Safety Act — platform duties to protect children gov.uk/government/collections/online-safety-act Referenced in this episode The Autobiography of Malcolm X Professor Jessica Ringrose, UCL Institute of Education — research on gender equity lessons and classroom dynamics committees.parliament.uk [http://committees.parliament.uk] Adolescence, Netflix 2025 — UK drama examining how a 13-year-old boy arrived at an act of violence nobody in his family saw coming netflix.com [http://netflix.com] Major press outlets The Guardian guardian.com [http://guardian.com] The Times thetimes.com [http://thetimes.com] Get full access to J'K Here at jkfrederick.substack.com/subscribe [https://jkfrederick.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

EP 20. Whose Future Gets Protected?

Episode number: EP20 Podcast: Like Me Officially with J'K Frederick Category: Society & Culture / Gender-Based Violence / Policy & Accountability In May 2026, three teenage boys convicted of raping two girls in Fordingbridge, Hampshire walked out of Southampton Crown Court without a custodial sentence. The judge handed down youth rehabilitation orders. His reason: he did not want to “unnecessarily criminalise” these children. This episode of the Like Me Officially Podcast examines why that sentence was legally possible, the archaic framework that produced it, and the cost to the victims, survivors everywhere, and all of us. Whose Future Gets Protected? The Fordingbridge Rape Case, Youth Sentencing, and What the Law Still Won't Say Episode summary In May 2026, three teenage boys convicted of raping two girls in Fordingbridge, Hampshire received non-custodial sentences — youth rehabilitation orders. The judge cited a desire to avoid unnecessarily criminalising children. One survivor said the decision felt like a rock to her face. In this episode, J'K Frederick asks the question underneath the verdict: whose future does the legal system actually centre — and whose was already changed before anyone in that courtroom spoke? This isn't a recap of the case. It's an examination of the framework that made the sentence possible. A framework rooted in the Children Act 1908. Written at a time when rape within marriage wasn't a crime, and the abuse of women and children by men wasn't fully recognised by law. J'K traces the neurodevelopmental argument the system uses to reduce accountability for young offenders — and follows it to where it stops. She examines what Bessel van der Kolk's trauma research says about developing brains on both sides of harm. She looks at what digital distribution of assault footage means for victims in 2026. And she asks what the VAWG strategy's ten-year target to halve gender-based violence actually requires of all of us — not just the courts. This episode also includes a personal account from J'K's own teenage years a peer who went through something similar over thirty years ago and a direct message to anyone listening who carries their own experience of sexual violence. What this episode answers Why did the Fordingbridge boys not go to prison? What are youth sentencing guidelines in England and Wales? Who created the sentencing guidelines for young offenders in the UK? What does the Children Act 1908 have to do with rape sentencing today? Why does age reduce criminal accountability in the UK? What does Bessel van der Kolk say about trauma and brain development? What is the unduly lenient sentence scheme? Who is Gisèle Pelicot and why did she respond to the Fordingbridge case? What is the UK government's VAWG strategy? What are the reoffending rates for young sexual offenders in the UK? Does filming and sharing sexual assault footage count as a separate crime? What can parents, teachers, and schools do to prevent sexual harm? What support is available for survivors of rape and sexual violence in the UK? Key topics covered The Fordingbridge rape case (Southampton Crown Court, 2026) Youth sentencing guidelines — England and Wales (Sentencing Council, 2017) The Children Act 1908 and its philosophical roots The Sentencing Council — composition and victim representation Sean Hogg case — Scotland, 2023 Neurodevelopmental science and its asymmetric application in court Bessel van der Kolk — The Body Keeps the Score — trauma and brain restructuring Children's moral reasoning — research on right and wrong from toddlerhood to adolescence Digital distribution of assault footage — Snapchat, platform responsibility, and ongoing harm James Bulger case — punishment, rehabilitation, and the difference Youth reoffending rates — sexual offences cohort VAWG strategy 2025–2030 — targets, funding, and teacher training allocation ----- If you need support Rape Crisis England & Wales Free, confidential support for anyone affected by sexual violence. rapecrisis.org.uk 0808 500 2222 free, 24 hours, 7 days a week Rape Crisis Scotland rascrisis.scot.org.uk 08088 01 03 02 Links & Resources: Here are the direct, official links to the resources, legal frameworks, and research databases mentioned in this episode : Core Legal Frameworks & Guidelines * The Children Act 1908: Read the original historical legislation and its evolution via the UK Legislation Statute Law Database [https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Edw7/8/67/pdfs/ukpga_19080067_en.pdf]. * The Sentencing Council (2017 Guidelines): Access the definitive framework for “Sentencing Children and Young People” through the legal analysis portal at the Youth Justice Legal Centre [https://yjlc.uk/resources/legal-updates/overarching-principles-2017-updated-sentencing-guidelines-children-and]. * UK Government VAWG Strategy: Review the landmark strategy aimed at halving violence against women and girls on the Crown Prosecution Service Official Portal [https://www.cps.gov.uk/publication/vawg-2025-2030] or find the community policy breakdown via the End Violence Against Women Coalition [https://www.endviolenceagainstwomen.org.uk/governments-landmark-vawg-strategy-published/]. Historical & Psychological Context * James Baldwin - No Name in the Street (1972): Explore the historical context, themes, and publication history of Baldwin’s critical work on justice and the unprotected via Wikipedia’s Dedicated Entry [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Name_in_the_Street]. * Bessel van der Kolk - The Body Keeps the Score: For medical research, peer-reviewed clinical studies, and literature tracking trauma’s structural changes to the adolescent brain, you can access the comprehensive databases via the National Institutes of Health (PubMed) [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/] or track economic impact studies on public systems through the Institute for Fiscal Studies [https://ifs.org.uk/]. Case Records & Global Advocates * Judge Nicholas Rowland & Southampton Crown Court: To reference official rulings, judicial circulars, and daily court lists, visit the UK Gov Courts and Tribunals Judiciary Portal [https://www.judiciary.uk/]. * Sandy Brindley (CEO, Rape Crisis Scotland): Review policy advocacy, statistics on sexual violence, and legal reform campaigns directly at Rape Crisis Scotland [https://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/]. * Gisèle Pelicot: For international reporting on her landmark case, survivor advocacy, and global impact, track updates via BBC News [https://www.bbc.com/] or CNN International [https://edition.cnn.com/]. Major Press Outlets (Fordingbridge Case Reporting) * The Times: The Times Digital Edition [https://www.thetimes.com/] * The Guardian: The Guardian Open Journalism [https://www.theguardian.com/] Get full access to J'K Here at jkfrederick.substack.com/subscribe [https://jkfrederick.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

EP 19. Why Does the Media Always Protect Him & Not the Truth?

What this episode is about There is a script. It runs every time someone asks a question nobody wanted asked. This episode names the architecture — how media framing, community culture, and heritage culture operate in similar ways to protect the powerful and silence the inconvenient. From himpathy to legal language, from Jeffrey Epstein to Lauren Goodger, J'K tracks the pattern and asks who it serves. In this episode The script that runs every time an inconvenient question gets asked — and why that's not an accident Misan Harriman and what happens when inquiry itself becomes the crime Himpathy — the disproportionate sympathy extended to powerful men at the expense of those they harmed Russell Brand, Phillip Schofield, Jeffrey Epstein — the column that runs in your mind and what it tells us Lauren Goodger — she stood in her truth, was told to stay silent, was put on trial by the media, and the man was convicted Technology-facilitated abuse — what it is, Refuge's 207% surge in referrals, and why survivors reporting online harm are four times more likely to have a negative experience with the police Not guilty is not the same as innocent — what a verdict does and doesn't reach The Like Me moment — the quiet, stubborn refusal to let the frame decide what your truth is worth Headlines don't just appear — and three questions worth asking before you react, share, or decide Resources Refuge — UK's largest domestic abuse charity. National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247. Available 24 hours, 7 days a week. Support organisations for survivors — full list on the Like Me Officially podcast [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1mVbCZxYHt8ItGJUymJNi_Uk9hIC9Wa6E0n0SFMIvxaM/edit?usp=sharing] For listeners outside the UK — please check for support local to you. [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1mVbCZxYHt8ItGJUymJNi_Uk9hIC9Wa6E0n0SFMIvxaM/edit?usp=sharing] About Like Me Officially Like Me Officially is hosted by J'K Frederick. This is where raw truths meet reflection, exploring self-advocacy, challenging social narratives, and moving beyond surviving into something that actually looks like living. Connect Substack: https://jkfrederick.substack.com/s/like-me-podcast [https://jkfrederick.substack.com/s/like-me-podcast] Instagram: @likemeofficially Get full access to J'K Here at jkfrederick.substack.com/subscribe [https://jkfrederick.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

EP 18. Beyond the Victim Label: The Survivor Algorithm and Regaining Power

What is the Survivor Algorithm? The Survivor Algorithm is a framework for understanding the identity stages many people move through after trauma victim, survivor, and thriver and why moving between them is rarely straightforward. Like a social media algorithm, it runs in the background, based on rules that were installed without your consent. And like any man-made system, it can be rewritten. What you'll hear in this episode: Why the victim label arrives through a system not through you and what that does psychologically when it lands years after the experience. Why 72% of adults who experienced childhood sexual abuse never told anyone at the time, and what delayed disclosure actually looks like from the inside. The honest case for why people stay in survivor identity, the validation, the belonging, the exhaustion of treading water that has become familiar. Why the word survivor lands differently for those with lived experience of sexual violence than it does in other contexts and why that matters. What a somatic flashback is, what triggers it, and why the body stores trauma as sensory fragments rather than as memory. What allostatic load means and why the exhaustion of chronic stress isn't weakness, it's physiology. What self-efficacy actually is, and why it's the difference between hoping things get better and having a hand in that. What Kintsugi has to do with rebuilding after the system fails you. Questions this episode speaks to: Why do survivors of sexual abuse stay in survivor identity for so long? What is the difference between victim and survivor in the context of sexual violence? Why does the criminal justice system use the word victim? What is a somatic flashback and what causes it? How long does it take to report childhood sexual abuse? What is allostatic load and how does it affect trauma survivors? How do you move from surviving to thriving after abuse? Can identity change after trauma? Themes explored: The psychology of being named by a system rather than naming yourself. The neuroscience of chronic stress and trauma memory. Label conflict and the word survivor. Delayed disclosure and what the research shows. The benefits and the costs of staying in any one stage. The transition from surviving to thriving. Rebuilding identity on your own terms. Listening context: This episode is for anyone who has ever felt stuck between who they were told they are and who they know themselves to be. It doesn't offer instructions. It offers a framework, a question, and a different way of seeing a journey that too many people are making alone. References: Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score Bruce Perry, What Happened to You? Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No Peter Levine, Waking the Tiger Kintsugi, Japanese tradition of repair with gold Get full access to J'K Here at jkfrederick.substack.com/subscribe [https://jkfrederick.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

EP 17. Be The Glitch

Episode Summary What does it mean to be a "voltage spike" in a broken system? In this episode of Like Me Officially, J’K Frederick explores the concept of the "glitch" an intentional disruption of the scripts we are forced to follow. Drawing from literature, history, and personal experience, we dive into why speaking out is an act of disobedience and why your truth doesn't need a system’s signature to be valid. What’s Inside: Literary Inspiration: Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie [https://www.google.com/search?q=Half+of+a+Yellow+Sun+Chimamanda+Ngozi+Adichie] Depth Psychology: Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés [https://www.google.com/search?q=Women+Who+Run+With+the+Wolves+Clarissa+Pinkola+Estes] Essential Essay: The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action by Audre Lorde [https://www.google.com/search?q=Audre+Lorde+The+Transformation+of+Silence+into+Language+and+Action] Modern Philosophy: James McCrae – Words Saved My Life [https://www.google.com/search?q=James+McCrae+Be+the+glitch] Historical Context: NASA’s John Glenn and the "Voltage Spike" [https://www.google.com/search?q=John+Glenn+NASA+glitch+definition+1962] Episode 16: Revisit EP16: The Pearl in the Oyster [https://www.google.com/search?q=your-podcast-link-here] Get full access to J'K Here at jkfrederick.substack.com/subscribe [https://jkfrederick.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]