#70: I Am the Village: An Autism Mom on Diagnosis, Therapy Myths, and Showing Up Every Day | Aparna Sinha

#70: I Am the Village: An Autism Mom on Diagnosis, Therapy Myths, and Showing Up Every Day | Aparna Sinha

Aparna Sinha — bestselling author, founder and CEO of Fabulinus, and mother to 10-year-old Zayan — joins Neha for one of the most honest conversations Parenthoot has had. Zayan is on the borderline of the autism spectrum, and Aparna doesn't soften what that means: the early confusion, the wrong therapists, the months of no sleep, the isolation, and the darkest thoughts she says every neurodivergent parent knows but nobody names. She talks about why she and husband Vishal made the painful decision to live apart solely to protect Zayan's routine, what it means to be entirely your own village, and the small victories — a complete sentence spoken to a stranger, a Hindi word understood out of context — that feel seismic when you've spent years working toward them. A conversation about love that doesn't flinch. Why You Should Listen If you are parenting a neurodivergent child, you will feel seen in ways that are rare. If you are not, you will come away with a deeper, kinder understanding of what these families carry — often entirely alone. Aparna challenges the "it takes a village" narrative, dismantles therapy myths that cause real harm, and offers hard-won wisdom on trusting your child before you trust any expert. Notable Quotes * "I am the village. There is no village. Don't let anybody fool you." * "When it is good, it is great. When it is bad, it is awful." * "Without saying a single word, he has changed me into a better person." * "Trust your child. Whatever your child is telling you is correct." * "We were broken, but we were not hopeless. We are never hopeless." Practical Takeaways * The autism spectrum is not linear — it is a complex spiral. A borderline diagnosis is often invisible to the outside world, and that invisibility is its own burden. * "Can't" and "won't" are not the same. Learning to read that difference is one of the most critical skills a neurodivergent parent can develop — and one of the hardest to explain to everyone else. * Not every therapy is right for every child. Ask hard questions before you begin. If your child is consistently distressed, pull them out. Good therapy does not look like a child in tears. * Routine is not rigidity — it is the foundation on which neurodivergent children build safety and progress. * Your own mental and physical wellbeing is not a luxury. Acceptance, journaling, walking, and allowing yourself to feel overwhelmed are all part of sustaining the long game. * Educate yourself beyond WhatsApp forwards. Read books, read journals, understand your child's brain before handing them to any expert. About the Guest Aparna Sinha is a bestselling author and the founder and CEO of Fabulinus. She lives in Gurgaon with her 10-year-old son Zayan, who is on the borderline of the autism spectrum. From a family of extraordinary achievers — her mother equalled Sarojini Naidu's record as youngest graduate and postgraduate; her father was a National Award-winning academic and Dean of the Faculty of Law, University of Allahabad — Aparna has channelled her personal journey into advocacy, writing, and building spaces where neurodivergent families feel less alone. Connect with her on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/aparna-sinha-b1873b18/] --- 🎙 If this conversation resonated, share it with a parent, partner, or friend who needs to hear it. Subscribe to Parenthoot with Neha and leave a review – it helps these stories reach more people. ☕ Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.

#69: Pregnant, Grieving, and Learning from Instagram: Richa Singh on Losing Her Mother, Postpartum, and Parenting Alone

Richa became a mother in one of the hardest possible circumstances: peak COVID, while grieving her own mother who had passed away just weeks after she conceived. With no female figure to guide her, no nurse, and a husband who couldn't cook, she built her parenting instincts from a place most people would never expect — a decade of rescuing and rehabilitating senior dogs. Founder of Bowsome Senior Dogs India Foundation and a veterinary hospital in Ahmedabad, Richa joins Neha for a conversation that is honest, funny, and genuinely unexpected. They talk about a difficult pregnancy marked by gestational diabetes and obstetric cholestasis; a postpartum month where she cooked her own meals on Day 5 post-caesarean and cried in the kitchen; the Instagram village that raised her when no one else could; raising a five-year-old boy without gender policing; a bedtime ritual that quietly builds emotional intelligence; and the three things she'd tell every first-time parent. Why You Should Listen If you didn't fall in love with your baby the moment they arrived, this episode is for you. If you've parented without a mother, without a rulebook, or without a village that looked like anyone else's — this is for you. If you're raising a boy and thinking seriously about who he becomes, Richa's approach to emotion, identity, and gender norms is specific and grounding. And if you believe a village matters more than any parenting book, you'll love how Richa built hers — from childless friends who trained themselves on bottle prep and drove over at 9:30pm, and strangers on the internet who answered questions at midnight. Notable Quotes * "It's a very slow process of falling in love. With your own, somebody you made, you nurtured everything yourself." * "My anger has gone to five percent. The only thing that makes me angry now is him not eating properly." "I want him to remember me the way I remember my mother." * "Making tough choices is also an art. You learn it with time." Resources & References * Bowsome Senior Dogs India Foundation: Richa's rescue and rehabilitation work with senior dogs. Find them on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bowsomeseniordogsindia]: https://www.instagram.com/bowsomeseniordogsindia [https://www.instagram.com/bowsomeseniordogsindia] * Waldorf Education: the school philosophy Ivaan attends, emphasizing play-based, developmentally attuned learning. * Postpartum Support International: for mothers navigating postpartum depression and the fourth trimester: postpartum.net * Babywearing International: community and resources for new parents: babywearinginternational.org * ASHA (American Speech-Language-Hearing Association): for parents concerned about late speech development in toddlers: asha.org About the Guest Richa Singh is the founder of Bowsome Senior Dogs India Foundation, an organization dedicated to the rescue, rehabilitation, and adoption of senior dogs who are most often overlooked. She also runs a veterinary hospital in Ahmedabad. A graduate of CEPT University, Richa lives in Mumbai with her husband, architect Piyas Choudhuri, their five-year-old son Ivaan, and many, many dogs. Find her work on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/richasinghchoudhuri/]: https://www.instagram.com/richasinghchoudhuri/ [https://www.instagram.com/richasinghchoudhuri/] Themes & Tags Postpartum depression | Parenting without a village | Grief during pregnancy | Parenting without a mother | Raising boys | Feminist parenting | Gender norms at home | Active fatherhood | Boy moms | Parenting in India | Working mothers | Values-based parenting | Intentional parenting | Bedtime rituals | Emotional intelligence in children | Late speech in toddlers | Toddler development | Waldorf education | Alternative schooling | COVID pregnancy | Building community | Food and memory | Dog rescue and motherhood | Senior dog adoption | Mental load --- 🎙 If this conversation resonated, share it with a parent, partner, or friend who needs to hear it. Subscribe to Parenthoot with Neha and leave a review – it helps these stories reach more people. ☕ Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.

#68: A Working Mum, A Home-Based Dad, and What Equal Parenting Actually Looks Like

Sumit Singla is a self-employed HR leader in Gurgaon who works primarily from home while his partner Kirti manages a full-time corporate career. Together, they are raising Samiah, their almost eight-year-old, in a household where gender roles are consciously – and organically – questioned every single day. In this conversation, Sumit talks about why he walked away from a high-travel consulting career in 2019, what equal parenting actually looks like on an ordinary day, how he and Kirti divide emotional and practical responsibilities, the guilt Kirti still carries as a working mother, what society gets wrong about fathers, and what he would tell his pre-parent self about showing up for a partner post-delivery. Why You Should Listen If you have ever wondered whether the traditional parenting script is the only one available, this episode is for you. Sumit is thoughtful, funny, and consistently self-aware. He refuses the "hero" label, challenges the framing of "brave fathers," and says several things in this conversation that will stay with you long after it ends. This one is for parents, partners, and anyone thinking about what equal really means at home. Notable Quotes * "If your reaction stays the same when gender roles are reversed, then the reaction is fair. Otherwise, you need to think about it." * "We're not heroes. We're just maybe restoring the balance of the universe a little bit." * "Active involvement, step one, is being available to listen." * "It's perfectly fine for a father to express emotion – and especially to tell their child that they love them." * "Parenthood is not only about caring for the new life. It's also about being supportive and telling your partner that you're on the same side as them." Practical Takeaways * Equal parenting lives in the small, daily things: the morning routine, dentist runs, school WhatsApp corrections. * Non-judgmental listening is the foundation of a child's trust – and it has to start early. * For new and expectant dads: a C-section is major surgery. Your partner needs your full presence in recovery, not just your excitement about the baby. * You don't need to teach values. Live them. Kids watch far more than they listen. * Parenting disagreements don't always need resolution. Two valid opinions can coexist. * Reducing your partner's mental load isn't help – it's just parenting. Resources & References * 📚 Stories of South Asian Supergirls: Samiah's favourite book, featuring Amrita Shergill, Kalpana Chawla, and more. Wonderful for young readers. Available on Amazon India and at most bookstores. * 🎨 Amrita Shergill: pioneering modernist painter: wikipedia.org/wiki/Amrita_Sher-Gil * 🚀 Kalpana Chawla: first woman of Indian origin in space: nasa.gov * 💛 Postpartum Support International: postpartum.net * 🧠 iCall: free mental health support in India: icallhelpline.org * 👉 Follow Sumit on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/waywordideas] * 🔗 Connect with Sumit on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/sumitsingla/] Themes & Tags Equal parenting | Active fatherhood | Gender roles at home | Work-from-home dads | Parenting in India | Postpartum recovery | Values-based parenting | Raising girls | Working mothers | Mental load --- 🎙 If this conversation resonated, share it with a parent, partner, or friend who needs to hear it. Subscribe to Parenthoot with Neha and leave a review – it helps these stories reach more people. ☕ Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.

From One Child to a Movement: Jo Chopra-McGowan on Disability, Inclusion, and Building Latika Roy Foundation

Jo Chopra-McGowan – activist and co-founder of the Latika Roy Foundation in Dehradun – sits down with Neha for a conversation that is equal parts memoir, manifesto, and revolution. Born into a large activist Catholic family in Massachusetts, Jo came to India in her early twenties, married Ravi Chopra, and adopted a premature baby girl – Moy Moy. When Moy Moy was rejected by a mainstream school, Jo didn't petition or protest – she built a school. What began as a morning program for one child slowly became one of India's most respected disability-inclusive organizations, now housed in a landmark building designed entirely around dignity, access, and joy. This episode traces that entire arc – from Jo's impulsive, justice-fuelled youth, through the joy, grief and grace of parenting Moy Moy, to the philosophy of inclusion that now shapes every hallway, ramp, and quiet room at Latika. Why You Should Listen If you have ever felt like the systems around your child simply weren't built for them — this episode is for you. Jo speaks with rare honesty about fear, loss, imposter syndrome, and the particular loneliness of giving your life to something larger than yourself. She also makes inclusion feel not like a policy but like a way of being human. Notable Quotes * "When I look back at the pictures of the baby I thought was absolutely beautiful, I see this beaky little scrawny chicken. But I was just gone. I was so in love with her." * "There's this primitive fear that nobody can be for Moy Moy what we are – and yet I realize how silly that was, because I was not her birth mother either." * "You have to have fear, you have to be worried – that anxiety pushes you forward, makes you learn new things. You don't learn the lesson from somebody telling you." Practical Takeaways * Community is infrastructure. Jo built a "Moy Moy's Circle" of people who loved and committed to her daughter. That circle became the foundation – literally – of Latika. Who is in your child's circle? * Behaviour is communication. Jo reminds us that when we understand what a child is experiencing – sensory, emotional, environmental – we can change almost everything. This applies to every child, not just disabled ones. * Inclusion benefits everyone. Text messaging, subtitles, OXO kitchen tools, countdown traffic lights – all invented for disabled people, now used by everyone. Designing for the margin improves life at the centre. * Impulsivity + systems = alchemy. Jo's self-described recklessness, paired with a grounded team, built something 32 years strong. Know which one you are – and find your counterpart. * The cost is real. Jo names what this life took: proximity to her children and grandchildren, financial security, a sense of belonging anywhere. Naming the cost doesn't diminish the choice. It honours it. Resources & References * Latika Roy Foundation: https://latikaroy.org [https://latikaroy.org/] * Moy Moy's Circle: https://www.amazon.in/Moy-Moys-Circle-Disability-Together/dp/9357315195?s=bazaar [https://www.amazon.in/Moy-Moys-Circle-Disability-Together/dp/9357315195?s=bazaar] * Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO): vsointernational.org [https://www.vsointernational.org/] - the UK organisation that sent Paula, Latika's foundational volunteer * OXO Good Grips: oxo.com [https://www.oxo.com/] - the universal-design kitchen brand Jo references About the Guest Jo Chopra-McGowan is an American-born activist, writer, and disability rights advocate based in Dehradun, India. She is the co-founder of the Latika Roy Foundation, which for over 32 years has worked to create inclusive, dignified spaces for children and adults with disabilities. Jo is a TEDx speaker and a fierce, funny voice for a world built to work for everyone. Connect with Jo on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jo-chopra-mcgowan-984b899/] --- Enjoyed this episode? Share it with someone who needs to hear it. Follow Parenthoot on your favourite podcast platform and leave a review if this conversation stayed with you. ☕ Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.

#67: Building Brands, Raising Babies, and Losing Yourself: Maya Varma on Entrepreneurial Motherhood

In this episode, Neha sits down with Maya Varma – entrepreneur, co-founder and Chief Brand & Product Officer of fashion labels Joker & Witch and Teejh – for a conversation that is equal parts raw and revelatory. Maya and her husband Satish built two thriving brands together, raised a few dogs, and then in 2020, in the middle of a pandemic, had their son Vivaan. What followed was a reckoning – with identity, with partnership, with anger she didn't recognise as her own, and with a version of motherhood nobody had prepared her for. This episode traces that entire arc: the early euphoria of building together, the slow erosion of boundaries between work and marriage, the postpartum haze, the resentment, the therapy, and the ongoing, imperfect journey back to herself. Why You Should Listen If you are a mother who has ever felt like the invisible load is entirely yours – the night feeds, the googling, the logistics, the emotional labour – this episode will feel like someone finally said it out loud. Maya doesn't perform healing. She talks about the cycles of fight and cold war, the anger that landed on her child and scared her, the solo trip to Delhi where she slept eight hours straight and called it a luxury. She talks about what it actually takes to work on a marriage after a decade, what individual therapy did that couples therapy couldn't, and why asking for help is not defeat – it's the only way through. If you are building something while raising someone, this one's for you. Practical Takeaways * Start a memory draft. Maya has kept a running draft email since Vivaan was five months old – milestones, first words, funny moments, things she'll miss. A low-effort, high-return ritual any parent can begin today. * Solo travel, even briefly, counts. A two-day work trip to Delhi where Maya slept uninterrupted became her first real reset. You don't need a retreat – you need a night that belongs only to you. * Individual therapy before couples therapy. Maya found that working inward first – understanding her own triggers, expectations, and patterns – made everything else more possible. * Bring your child into your workspace if you can. Maya set up a nursery corner in their office, breastfed during breaks, and let Vivaan grow up around the team and dogs. It's not for everyone, but it dissolved the guilt of the binary choice. Resources & References * Joker & Witch: Maya's fashion jewellery label, known for bold, story-led design. jokerandwitch.com [https://www.jokerandwitch.com/] * Teejh: Maya's second label, focused on contemporary Indian jewellery. teejh.com [https://www.teejh.com/] * On postpartum depression and mood changes: Many mothers go undiagnosed for years. If Maya's experience resonates, the iCall helpline (India) offers accessible mental health support: icallhelpline.org [https://icallhelpline.org/] * On entrepreneurial loneliness: Paul Graham's essay "How to Do What You Love" and the broader canon around founder mental health speak to the isolation Maya describes. About the Guest Maya Varma is the co-founder and Chief Brand & Product Officer of Joker & Witch and Teejh, two of India's most distinctive fashion jewellery labels. She built both brands alongside her husband and business partner Satish, whom she met in 2013 and married in 2015. A self-described creative, passionate, and deeply grounded person, Maya draws on her Kerala roots, her love of nature, and a finely tuned instinct for design and people. She is also a mother to five-year-old Vivaan and to three dogs – and is, by her own admission, still figuring it all out. Follow Maya on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/kmayavarma/] --- Enjoyed this episode? Share it with someone who needs to hear it. Follow Parenthoot on your favourite podcast platform and leave a review if this conversation stayed with you.  ☕ Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.