Why we need to let things fall apart (in order to grow)

Why we need to let things fall apart (in order to grow)

A few weeks ago, I found myself having a panic attack. On my hands and knees, on the kitchen floor (where all my panic attacks seem to happen). The reality had finally hit me: the way I'd been running my business for the past 20 years was no longer working in the way it once did. I'd tried so hard to hold it all together for the past few years, to keep it from breaking. But with AI and the rising cost of living, the coaching industry - particularly my kind of coaching - has taken a big hit. And I finally had to face the fact that my business - as I knew it - was falling apart. And I'm not going to lie, it felt terrifying. Hence the panic attack. But rather than rushing to try to fix it...I knew it was time to let it fall apart. And I'm so glad I did. Because by letting it unravel, what has emerged is a clarity around the work that is calling to me, a whole new vision for my business and a renewed sense of purpose that I just couldn't access while I was busy trying to hold everything together and stop it from falling apart. And so in today's Pep-Talk I wanted to dive into this topic and look at why it is so important to let things fall apart. How it helps us to: * Stop fighting reality and start working with it * Let go of identities, roles and expectations that no longer fit * Get clear on what we want to carry forward into our next chapter * Find freedom, purpose and possibility in the midst of uncertainty * Discover strengths and wisdom we didn't know we had * Create the space for something new to emerge So, if you're in the middle of an ending, an unraveling, a career crossroads, a relationship shift or a season of life that no longer feels right, I hope this episode reminds you that things falling apart isn't always a sign that something has gone wrong. Often it's a sign that you're ready for a new chapter. LISTEN TO THE EPISODE NOW ✨ Also available on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-courage-to-let-things-fall-apart/id1880327184?i=1000770558970]or wherever you listen to your podcasts And if you're at a career or business crossroads yourself at the moment, and would love my help in getting unstuck and getting clear on the direction you need to head in next - one that will really have you thriving - then email me (hello@selinabarker.com) and I'll let you know the different ways you can work with me at the moment. x Selina These Project You Pep-talks are brought to you by Selina Barker - founder and creator of the Project You journals [https://projectyoujournals.com/]

The Messy Middle: Navigating Life’s Transitions

Hello lovelies, This week on the Project You Pep-Talk podcast I’m diving deep into the topic of transitions: ✨ Why we need to embrace change and uncertainty if we want to create lives we want to live ✨Why transitions always begin with an ending ✨ Why you can’t avoid the “messy middle” - you gotta go through it ✨ Why we need to embrace uncertainty and get comfortable with the unknown ✨The caterpillar probably finds it uncomfortable becoming goo in the cocoon - but it’s worth it! ✨ How I’m personally navigating a huge transition in my own work and business right now ✨ The brilliant book Transitions by William Bridges and why it’s helped me so much - 20 years ago and now! ✨ What happens when we try to hold onto the jobs, relationships or versions of ourselves that we have already outgrown And I did something for the first time before recording this Pep-Talk. I asked my Wise Older Self: ‘what would you have me talk about in my audio Pep-Talk for Monday?’. I often write a message from my Wise Older Self for me each morning. So this time I thought I’d ask what message she might have for you. And this is what she said: “Tell them of uncertainty. That our desire for certainty, safety, order, everything needing to be predictable, tidy and risk-free - is stopping us from growing. We need things to die and dissolve so that new shoots can come through - so that new paths, new relationships, new versions of us may come to the surface. We need to be able to step into uncertainty and allow ourselves to surrender to the unknown of it all. If we are always wanting certainty, we will hold onto the things we have outgrown for far too long. And there we will remain - stuck - until life shakes us awake and forces us to let go. Start there” And so that’s what I did 😍 If you’re going through a transition in your life right now - or if you’re feeling stuck or frustrated in an area of your life (a sign that some kind of change is what you need) then this episode is for you. Hit play and join me for a deep dive into the messy middle! These Project You Pep-talks are brought to you by Selina Barker - founder and creator of the Project You journals [https://projectyoujournals.com/]

5 things that changed my energy completely

Earlier today I opened the doors to Time to Thrive Live [https://projectyoujournals.com/time-to-thrive-live-2026] 🎉 Check it out here [https://projectyoujournals.com/time-to-thrive-live-2026] 🤸🏾‍♀️ And don't miss the https://projectyoujournals.com/time-to-thrive-live-2026 Super Early Bird discount [https://projectyoujournals.com/time-to-thrive-live-2026] https://projectyoujournals.com/time-to-thrive-live-2026running for the next 48 hours! And in celebration of the launch, in today's Pep-Talk I wanted to share with you the 5 biggest lessons I've learnt over the past 6 years when it comes to managing me energy. One big lesson from each of the 5 Energy Zones. Because I'm not just here to teach you about how to manage your energy - I'm here learning with you. I want to become a master at managing my energy - and that is only going to happen by me coming back to this work again and again. That's why I love doing Time to Thrive Live - not only because I love seeing the difference it makes to you guys doing it - but because I get to do it too and also experience that same delicious energy increase. And there really is nothing that beats having grounded, nourishing, inspiring energy flowing through you. Nothing. So have a listen to the 5 biggest lessons I've learnt so far on my journey to becoming a master at managing my energy. AND THEN COME AND CHECK OUT TIME TO THRIVE LIVE🤸🏾‍♀️✨ 👉 SIGN UP IN THE NEXT 48 HOURS TO JOIN AT THE SUPER EARLY BIRD PRICE OF JUST £149 (FULL PRICE £225) Hope to see you there, so we can enjoy boosting our energy levels together! x Selina These Project You Pep-talks are brought to you by Selina Barker - founder and creator of the Project You journals [https://projectyoujournals.com/]

I’m genuinely blown away by what this unlocked

Ooh I'm excited for you to listen to this week's Pep-Talk! I felt so fired up when I was recording it and I'm hoping that it will get you feeling fired up too 🔥 Because over the past couple of weeks - since the 5 Day Energy Reset actually - I’ve been doing really small, simple things to boost my energy - above all my Motivational Energy. And I really do mean simple stuff: a bit of journaling, a bit of EFT tapping, a couple of inspiring podcasts That’s it. And the effect it’s had on me has genuinely taken me by surprise. Not only am I feeling more alive and in flow (which I love) but I've noticed a big shift in how I’m thinking, that has honestly blown me away. The questions I’m asking myself have changed. And the way I’m answering them has changed too. It’s like I’ve unlocked not just my ability to dream expansively again, but I'm dreaming with a whole new level of clarity. And it's flipping exciting. But it’s also been a really important reminder: When our energy is low, we don’t just feel tired - we start to shrink our lives without even realising it. We dream smaller. We doubt more. We hold ourselves back. But when you simply focus on getting that energy flowing again - particularly your Motivational energy - everything can shift. Your perspective changes. Your ideas change. The direction you want to go in starts to become clearer. And that is why reclaiming your energy really can be so life changing. So if you’ve been feeling a bit flat lately… or a bit lost… or like you’re not quite fulfilling your potential… I really want you to go and listen to this one. So hit play on this Pep-Talk and let it remind you what's possible when you start putting your energy first 🔥 x Selina P.S. I also share some exciting news about how - very soon - we can unlock our five energy zones together - and that is when the magic will really start to happen! These Project You Pep-talks are brought to you by Selina Barker - founder and creator of the Project You journals [https://projectyoujournals.com/]

Can burnout actually be good for us?

Five years ago this week, my book Burnt Out - the exhausted person's six-step guide to thriving in a fast-paced world - was released into the world. Here I am proudly clutching all four versions - English, Mandarin, Norwegian and Dutch. [https://embed.filekitcdn.com/e/ddJ79aax4jT8LEeDGVH78y/78M4zwnwopPVgjMVTFg2p1/email] I am so proud of this book and how it has helped people over the years. But five years on, I've been asking myself: would I write the same book today? Or would I take people on a whole different journey? What if burnout isn't just a problem to be solved, but a necessary ring of fire? The thing that gets us off the treadmill of daily grind and onto the path we were really supposed to be on?... I'm not giving you any spoilers 😉 - hit play and dive into this conversation with me to find out what I answered. And if you listen through to the end, you'll hear a surprise announcement - one that I wasn't going to make for another few weeks - but, well, I got caught up in the moment and as I say in the episode: it is time. Time for us to start going after our dreams and building the lives we really want to be living. And if I can help you on your journey to doing that 😊 x Selina SHOW NOTES: 🎧 Listen to the episode with Donna Lancaster over on my Another Way podcast [https://anotherwaywithselinabarker.substack.com/s/another-way] where we talk about how burnout and breakdowns can often act as a portal that helps us transition from the first to second phase of life 📖 If you haven't got Burnt Out, you can buy it here. [https://anotherwaywithselinabarker.substack.com/s/another-way] It's currently £2.99 on Kindle! [https://amzn.eu/d/03SWnqcl] You can also listen to the first 27 mins of the audiobook on Google books here [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AM6kN9vDbtw] 🧭 Feeling at a crossroads and ready for a change - but need help figuring out what and how? Come and see how I can help here [https://selinabarker.com/services] These Project You Pep-talks are brought to you by Selina Barker - founder and creator of the Project You journals [https://projectyoujournals.com/]