Creating A Positive Cycle

How To Navigate Family Drama

In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla unpack the messy reality of family differences—why gatherings can trigger us, how long-held “rules of the game” shape family conflict, and what we can do to stay grounded when things get heated. They explore common sources of family drama—holidays, parenting, politics, religion, and generational expectations—and how guilt, resentment, and old patterns keep us stuck. Ultimately, the conversation centers on learning to slow down, identify our triggers, set boundaries with compassion, and find ways to stay connected even when we disagree. Main Talking Points: - Common sources of family conflict (holidays, parenting, money, politics) - “Rules of the game” in family systems - Understanding triggers and nervous system responses - Balancing boundaries with connection - Compassionate communication and timing - What you can—and can’t—control in family relationships Give Me Discounts! NOCD.COM [http://nocd.com/] - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com [http://nocd.com/] Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin [http://audible.com/janeaustin] to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO [http://skylightcal.com/IDO] for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO [http://www.functionhealth.com/IDO] Amazfit - Visit https://cms.megaphone.fm/organizations/8fc304ac-53d6-11ee-9a99-8b14516a469a/podcasts/77c67cee-306e-11ed-922d-27fb7bb65843/episodes/993d0d28-e252-11ef-93a7-1f72008b44cc/www.amazfit.com/IDOwww.amazfit.com/IDO [http://www.amazfit.com/IDO] to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: [http://sparkmyrelationship.com/unlock] Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock [http://sparkmyrelationship.com/unlock] for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/i-do-podcast-with-chase-sarah/id840534227]? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Creating A Positive Cycle

In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren break down how to shift your relationship from reactivity to rhythm by learning to create a positive cycle. You’ll hear the story of Andrea and Marcus—a couple stuck in familiar patterns—who begin transforming conflict through small, intentional changes like naming their stories and taking ownership instead of reacting. From practical tools like “the story I’m telling myself…” to the game-changing “help me help you help me” skill, this episode shows how simple awareness and repair can turn everyday tension into deeper connection. Main Talking Points: * Awareness of triggers & old cycles * Naming stories with curiosity * Accountability vs. defensiveness * Intentional “deposits” of connection * Repair through validation & empathy * “Help me help you help me” negotiation Give Me Discounts! NOCD.COM [http://nocd.com/] - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com [http://nocd.com/] Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin [http://audible.com/janeaustin] to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO [http://skylightcal.com/IDO] for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO [http://www.functionhealth.com/IDO] Amazfit - Visit https://cms.megaphone.fm/organizations/8fc304ac-53d6-11ee-9a99-8b14516a469a/podcasts/77c67cee-306e-11ed-922d-27fb7bb65843/episodes/993d0d28-e252-11ef-93a7-1f72008b44cc/www.amazfit.com/IDOwww.amazfit.com/IDO [http://www.amazfit.com/IDO] to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: [http://sparkmyrelationship.com/unlock] Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock [http://sparkmyrelationship.com/unlock] for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/i-do-podcast-with-chase-sarah/id840534227]? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

How To Find Safe Attachment with Jessica Baum

Jessica Baum shares her personal journey through anxiety and depression that led her into studying attachment theory and writing her books. She explains how cultural messages about independence often conflict with our biological need for connection, and how healing happens through safe, consistent relationships. Her work emphasizes the importance of “anchors”—people who can provide presence, safety, and co-regulation—as a pathway toward secure attachment and earned security. Colter, Lauren, and Jessica talk about topics such as: - Codependency = anxious attachment - Cultural pressure for independence - Healing through safe connection - Importance of anchors/secure people - Co-regulation before self-regulation - Familiar vs. healthy attraction Freebie from Jessica: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/interview [https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/interview] Give Me Discounts! NOCD.COM [http://nocd.com/] - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com [http://nocd.com/] Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin [http://audible.com/janeaustin] to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO [http://skylightcal.com/IDO] for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO [http://www.functionhealth.com/IDO] Amazfit - Visit https://cms.megaphone.fm/organizations/8fc304ac-53d6-11ee-9a99-8b14516a469a/podcasts/77c67cee-306e-11ed-922d-27fb7bb65843/episodes/993d0d28-e252-11ef-93a7-1f72008b44cc/www.amazfit.com/IDOwww.amazfit.com/IDO [http://www.amazfit.com/IDO] to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: [http://sparkmyrelationship.com/unlock] Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock [http://sparkmyrelationship.com/unlock] for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/i-do-podcast-with-chase-sarah/id840534227]? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Why Can't They Just Get Over It

This episode looks at why your partner might struggle to “just get over” something that feels small to you. Often, their reaction isn’t really about the forgotten text or missed plan—it’s about old wounds from times they felt invisible or unimportant. Instead of brushing it off, the episode shows how empathy and repair can turn these moments into opportunities for deeper connection. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive into topics like: - Why little things often hit deeper emotional scars. - How “just get over it” shuts down closeness instead of fixing the problem. - Signs that your partner’s reaction is about more than the moment. - Simple shifts—curiosity, empathy, and listening—that help your partner feel seen. - How repair after conflict builds more trust than avoiding fights. Give Me Discounts! NOCD.COM [http://nocd.com/] - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com [http://nocd.com/] Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin [http://audible.com/janeaustin] to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO [http://skylightcal.com/IDO] for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO [http://www.functionhealth.com/IDO] Amazfit - Visit https://cms.megaphone.fm/organizations/8fc304ac-53d6-11ee-9a99-8b14516a469a/podcasts/77c67cee-306e-11ed-922d-27fb7bb65843/episodes/993d0d28-e252-11ef-93a7-1f72008b44cc/www.amazfit.com/IDOwww.amazfit.com/IDO [http://www.amazfit.com/IDO] to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: [http://sparkmyrelationship.com/unlock] Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock [http://sparkmyrelationship.com/unlock] for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/i-do-podcast-with-chase-sarah/id840534227]? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

How To Love Withdrawers Well

Most people have experienced moments of withdrawal or disconnection in relationships, especially during conflict. For some, these patterns can create misunderstandings and distance. No matter your role in the dynamic—whether pursuer or withdrawer—we can all benefit from deeper connection and greater emotional safety. Listen to today's show to learn how to support your withdrawer partner, foster secure attachment, and strengthen your bond. Cayla, Colter, and Lauren discuss topics such as: * Understanding Withdrawers * Key Challenges for Withdrawers * Common Patterns in the Relationship * Practical Strategies for Loving Withdrawers * Balancing Needs in the Relationship * Shifting Toward Secure Attachment * And more! Give Me Discounts! Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin [http://audible.com/janeaustin] to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO [http://skylightcal.com/IDO] for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO [http://www.functionhealth.com/IDO] Amazfit - Visit https://cms.megaphone.fm/organizations/8fc304ac-53d6-11ee-9a99-8b14516a469a/podcasts/77c67cee-306e-11ed-922d-27fb7bb65843/episodes/993d0d28-e252-11ef-93a7-1f72008b44cc/www.amazfit.com/IDOwww.amazfit.com/IDO [http://www.amazfit.com/IDO] to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: [http://sparkmyrelationship.com/unlock] Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock [http://sparkmyrelationship.com/unlock] for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/i-do-podcast-with-chase-sarah/id840534227]? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]