198. Lyndsey Hackford: The Abuse I Thought Was Love

198. Lyndsey Hackford: The Abuse I Thought Was Love

Domestic violence doesn't usually begin with violence. It often begins with what appears to be love. Small compromises become expectations. Isolation is disguised as protection. Control masquerades as concern. Little by little, the person you once were begins to disappear, often without you even realizing it's happening. Domestic violence survivor and advocate Lyndsey Hackford joined me to discuss her journey through years of coercive control, emotional abuse, physical violence, and the incredibly difficult process of rebuilding her life after escaping an abusive marriage. Lyndsey speaks candidly about the psychological realities of abuse, why leaving is often the most dangerous time for a survivor, and the long road toward rediscovering confidence, identity, and hope. Today, Lyndsey uses her experience to advocate for survivors across the country through speaking engagements and her own podcast, Living in the Aftermath, where she creates space for honest conversations about trauma, healing, resilience, and life beyond abuse. Whether you're a survivor, someone who loves a survivor, or simply want a deeper understanding of how domestic violence really works, this is a conversation you won't soon forget. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story in order to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: dave@sasstories.com Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! Lyndsey's Podcast Living in the Aftermath with Lyndsey https://livingintheaftermath.com/ (official website, if available through her podcast branding) (Apple Podcasts) Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/living-in-the-aftermath-with-lyndsey/id1832389204 (Apple Podcasts) Social Media Instagram: @living.inthe.aftermath (Apple Podcasts) Personal Instagram: @lyndseyh6723 (Apple Podcasts) Listen to Other Interviews with Lyndsey That's Where I'm At : "Living in the Aftermath with Lyndsey Hackford: Stories of Survival, Advocacy, and Hope Beyond Abuse" (sites.libsyn.com) Shattered Silence Podcast : "Healing After Domestic Violence" (Apple Podcasts) The Rollercoaster Podcast: "I Was Abused But Thought It Was Love…" (Spotify) Media Coverage FOX 13 Utah "Utah survivor of domestic violence shares her story from victim to advocate." (FOX 13 News Utah (KSTU)) Daily Herald "Healthy Relationships Should Be for Everyone" (featuring Lyndsey's advocacy work). (heraldextra.com) Domestic Violence Resources Mentioned The Refuge Utah https://therefugeutah.org National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org Call: 800-799-SAFE (7233) https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave

197. Cherry Fargo: A Grandmother's Courage Leads to a Survivor's Strength

Childhood sexual abuse leaves wounds that often extend far beyond the abuse itself. It can shape a person's identity, relationships, sense of worth, and even their understanding of faith, trust, and safety. Yet, as difficult as the healing journey may be, recovery is possible. In Episode 197, Cherry Fargo shares her remarkable story of surviving years of childhood sexual abuse, emotional manipulation, and family trauma. She opens up about the pivotal role her grandmother played in protecting her, the complicated emotions surrounding her mother's response, the devastating losses she experienced later in life, and the long road that eventually led her to healing. Along the way, Cherry offers honest insight into the realities of trauma, the importance of supportive community, and the intentional work required to move beyond survival. Today, Cherry is an author, coach, and passionate advocate for survivors of childhood abuse. Her practical approach to healing encourages survivors to recognize the past without remaining trapped by it, rediscover their true identity, and move forward with purpose and hope. Whether you're a survivor yourself, love someone who is, or simply want to better understand the lifelong impact of childhood trauma, this conversation offers compassion, wisdom, and encouragement that you won't soon forget. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story in order to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: dave@sasstories.com Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! One of the most critical links below that I hope you'll take advantage of is the upcoming free coaching workshop that Cherry is presenting next month! — Thank you!! Overcoming Shame, Finding Freedom: (Cherry's book, available on Amazon) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CGL9TC9C Being Remade - Website https://beingremade.org Coaching: Upcoming FREE workshop Aug 12th - 15: Move Forward Challenge https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/223170 Upcoming Fall Online Group Coaching Cohort: Traumas to Transformations https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/219433 FREE 20 minute Heart to Heart Call, From One Survivor to Another https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/184458 https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave

196. Susan Bisaha: When Trust Hides Abuse

One of the most common misconceptions about child sexual abuse is the belief that children always know they're being abused. The reality is often far more complicated. In this episode, I sit down with Susan Bisaha, a licensed professional counselor, survivor of clergy sexual abuse, and author of And The Lotus Shall Rise: My Journey Through Clergy Sex Abuse. Susan shares the deeply personal story of being sexually abused by a trusted priest over the course of seven years while never fully understanding that what was happening to her was abuse. As a child, she simply didn't possess the life experience or developmental understanding to recognize that someone she trusted was manipulating and exploiting her. It wasn't until years later, while working with a therapist, that she finally came to understand the truth about what she had endured. Having investigated child sexual assault cases for many years, I've seen firsthand that Susan's experience is far from unique. Children often rely on trusted adults to define what is normal, appropriate, and safe. When that trust is intentionally violated by an offender, confusion can become one of the lasting consequences, delaying recognition and disclosure for years or even decades. Susan's story is both heartbreaking and hopeful. It reminds us that a child's inability to recognize abuse never changes the reality of what occurred, nor does it lessen the responsibility of the offender. Her journey from confusion to understanding, and ultimately to healing, offers hope to survivors who may still be trying to make sense of their own experiences. I believe this is a conversation every survivor, loved one, and professional working with victims should hear. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story in order to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: dave@sasstories.com Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! — Thank you!! https://www.threads.com/@susan669791 https://andthelotusshallrise.com/ https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave

195. Jason Patrick Berry: Some Episodes Are Worth Repeating

Some episodes are worth repeating…this is one of them. Jason's story is one that quietly breaks your heart and then slowly helps rebuild it. On the outside, his childhood looked perfectly normal, even picturesque. But behind closed doors lived a painful reality of abuse, secrecy, and survival that no child should ever have to experience. In Secrets Beneath, Jason pulls back that veil and walks us through the lasting impact of trauma, including post trauma stress, anxiety, and emotional isolation, while also showing what it looks like to keep choosing healing day by day. This conversation is personal, raw, and deeply human. Born and raised in Connecticut and now living in Florida with his husband Shaun and their two beloved dogs, Jason brings not only his survivor voice into this space, but his heart for wellness, recovery, and holistic self-care. He speaks openly about how reconnecting with nature, creating mindful routines around health, and learning to nurture his body and nervous system have become essential parts of his healing journey. There is no polished recovery narrative here, only an honest reflection of what healing truly looks like. Layered, imperfect, courageous, and ongoing. The kind of truth that lets listeners exhale and quietly think, "I am not alone in this." What struck me most in this conversation is Jason's willingness to be completely seen. Not as some inspirational figure wrapped up in a neat storyline, but as a real person still walking the road of healing, still learning, and still refusing to allow his abuse experiences to define the rest of his life. His openness about living with anxiety and frequent memory activators brings powerful validation to experiences so many survivors silently hold inside. Jason does not minimize the pain, but he also refuses to ever give up hope. His voice is gentle, steady, and deeply relatable in all the best ways, and the motivation is to always help others who've experienced similar abuse. This episode reflects the very heart of Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. Amplifying survivor voices, dismantling silence, and reminding every listener that healing is not only possible, it's allowed. Jason shares the truth many are afraid to speak aloud, and in doing so creates space for others to discover their own courage. I am genuinely grateful for his vulnerability and for the trust he placed in this platform to tell his story. Secrets Beneath is not just a memoir, and this episode is not just an interview. It is a conversation that invites others to speak, to heal, and to believe that life can hold more than what trauma ever tried to dictate. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story in order to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: dave@sasstories.com Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! — Thank you!! https://www.jasonpatrickberry.com https://a.co/d/bQkH0IA (Order Jason's book on Amazon!) https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave

194. Cheryl Wright: What Healing Really Looks Like

When Cheryl Wright first appeared on Sexual Assault Survivor Stories in January of 2024, she shared her experiences with honesty, courage, and a willingness to help others feel less alone. Today, Cheryl returns for a short update conversation. We talk about what's changed during the past two years, what challenges she's faced, and where she finds herself today. As is often the case, healing has not followed a straight line, but Cheryl continues to move forward with determination and insight. I appreciate Cheryl's willingness to come back and let listeners hear the next chapter of her journey. I think you'll find value in hearing not only where she has been, but also where she is now. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://placesnowhere.com/victorious-voices https://the network studios https://www.stillwholewellness.com/ https://www.projectcallisto.org/https://documenttheabuse.org/ https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wpcontent/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.orghttps://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave