Curious First: A New Model for True Leaders

Curious First: A New Model for True Leaders

Send Lauri a message [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2389103/fan_mail/new] What if your biggest leadership mistake wasn't the decisions you made, but the mental model you were carrying when you made them? Leadership coach Kurt Bush started out believing leaders had to have all the answers. Spoiler: it nearly cost him the room. What he discovered instead, through mentorship, a pandemic, and a lot of curiosity, reshaped how he shows up in every room, every conversation, every crisis. In this episode, Lauri and Kurt dive into one of the clearest lessons to come out of high-pressure seasons like the pandemic: how we do things matters more than what we do. From pastoring in 2020 to leading volunteer teams and cultures, Kurt shares why he aims to be the least anxious presence in the room and how curiosity supports that. They explore curiosity as a leadership skill, and why being present is often the first step toward better decisions, stronger relationships, and healthier conflict. Plus, the brimstone butterfly, a ropes course story, a physicist around a fire pit, and why the best pastor in town might have 10 people in the pews. TAKEAWAYS 1. The mental model you carry into leadership shapes everything, including whether people actually follow you. 2. Trying to hide that you don't have all the answers never works. People always know. 3. How we do things is even more important than what we do. 4. Curiosity and presence are linked: it's nearly impossible to be genuinely curious without being present at the same time. 5. Anxiety in leadership often comes from an outdated model: needing to be right, in control, having answers. Curiosity dissolves it. 6. "Do you want to say more about that?" is a question that creates space, buys processing time, and invites deeper thinking. 75% of the time, people work themselves to a more grounded place. 7. The room takes on the leader's personality. What energy are you bringing in? 8. A leader is simply someone with people following them — everything else works itself out from there. 9. The best leaders may be the quietest ones, leading closely with a few, not loudly with many. Soul Sucker Quiz [https://voice-matters.com/soul-sucker-quiz/] Take the Soul Sucker Quiz to learn which Soul Sucker screams the loudest in your mind so you can release them from being in charge and set your voice free! https://voice-matters.com/soul-sucker-quiz/ The Speaker Alter Ego Quiz [https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz-embed/] Take the Speaker Alter Ego quiz to find out which protective mask hides your natural radiance so you can learn how to get present, connect deeply, and share your vision when it matters most! https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/ Support the show [https://buymeacoffee.com/laurismith] Thank you so much for listening! Take the free Speaker Alter Ego Quiz to find out which protective mask is hiding your wild, untamed radiance. https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/ [https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/] Follow me on: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/ [https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/] Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/] YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646 [https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646]

Hide No More

Send Lauri a message [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2389103/fan_mail/new] What if the version of you that shrinks is both timid and brilliant? In this retreat coaching session, we sit with Brian Perry, an authentic communication coach and singer-songwriter, as his body remembers a childhood rule: being seen is dangerous.  What unfolds is a vivid map of survival, from bullying to family dynamics, and the subtle ways a protector part can keep you safe while also keeping you small. A kid who learned that the most dangerous thing was to be seen. A man who believed he was meant to be a priest. A body that still knows how to make itself smaller, even at six foot six.  And underneath all of it — a version of Brian that people feel in the room before he says a word. This episode is a window into real, embodied coaching work. A living exploration into what gets held back, what it costs, and what becomes possible when you stop hiding behind the lockers. As you listen, put yourself in his shoes. Ask yourself the questions I'm asking him. Notice what stirs. TAKEAWAYS 1. The survival strategies that kept us safe as kids don't disappear at 53 — they go underground and keep running the show. Of course they do. They worked. 2. Courageous cowering isn't weakness. It's a smart adaptation that held something precious until the danger passed. Honoring it is the first step to releasing it. 3. Invisibility as a survival strategy and neurodivergence interact in particular ways — the "too much and never enough" experience can make staying small feel like the only safe option. 4. Strength doesn't come despite the survival years. It comes because of them. 5. You can't think your way into a new version of yourself. You have to feel the posture and inhabit the body of the leader you’re becoming.  Support the show [https://buymeacoffee.com/laurismith] Thank you so much for listening! Take the free Speaker Alter Ego Quiz to find out which protective mask is hiding your wild, untamed radiance. https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/ [https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/] Follow me on: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/ [https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/] Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/] YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646 [https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646]

From Comfort To Calling With A Trusted Guide

Send Lauri a message [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2389103/fan_mail/new] The most dangerous career trap is not failure. It’s comfort that slowly turns into a cage.  In this episode of the Untamed Leader Podcast, Lauri sits down with Dr. Karen Koepp, a strategic advisor who helps senior leaders navigate high-stakes turning points. At the heart of the conversation is a childhood expedition that still shapes how Karen guides clients today and the pattern she sees with leaders at every level: you can know exactly where you want to go, but the moment you step out the door, the doubts get loud. Can I do this? Will it cost too much? Am I really the kind of person who can consult others, write the book, or reinvent my career? In the face of these doubts "important but not urgent" often becomes the graveyard of our most meaningful work. Karen shares how she listens for the energy in a leader’s stories to find the real seeds of passion hiding under years of shoulds, and how she helps clients turn that passion into something structured, usable, and alive. If you’re a leader with something real to contribute and keep finding yourself back inside the house instead of out on the path, this one’s for you. TAKEAWAYS 1. Knowing where you want to go is a necessary but insufficient condition for actually getting there. 2. Taming is sneaky. The comfortable structure that once kept you safe is often the same thing keeping you stuck. 3. Important but not urgent is where our most meaningful work goes to die. Connecting to our purpose helps create the motivation to get started or keep going.  4. Low-risk experiments beat big leaps when doubts cloud the way. 5. Going it alone is like trying to find the park in the dark. Generic programs built for someone else’s terrain make it worse, not better. 6. Aliveness has a somatic signature. A good guide listens for where the seeds of passion live in your story. 7. Take the first step. Don’t wait for it to become urgent — it won’t. The important thing is always a choice, and you have to be the one who makes it. Soul Sucker Quiz [https://voice-matters.com/soul-sucker-quiz/] Take the Soul Sucker Quiz to learn which Soul Sucker screams the loudest in your mind so you can release them from being in charge and set your voice free! https://voice-matters.com/soul-sucker-quiz/ Support the show [https://buymeacoffee.com/laurismith] Thank you so much for listening! Take the free Speaker Alter Ego Quiz to find out which protective mask is hiding your wild, untamed radiance. https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/ [https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/] Follow me on: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/ [https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/] Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/] YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646 [https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646]

Tending Your Inner Fire: A Live Coaching Moment

Send Lauri a message [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2389103/fan_mail/new] What does untaming look like and how do we do it? This is a real coaching session from the Untamed Leader Spring Retreat: Embody Your Vision — unscripted, embodied, and alive. Dana is stepping into a new chapter: retiring from her career, feeling called to “ocean” more, and finding out what living with more presence, intention, and impact feels like in her body. What you’ll witness is the untaming process in real time: two trees, two ways of being, and the question underneath it all. As you listen, put yourself in Dana’s shoes. Ask yourself the same questions. Notice what comes up in your own body. This conversation isn’t just hers, it’s yours too. In this episode: * The difference between fire under your ass and fire in your heart * The safety question underneath many untaming decisions * How frequency, not status, guides the untamed leader If you’ve ever felt the pull between the life that looks right and the one that feels true — this episode is for you. KEY TAKEAWAYS 1. There’s a difference between fire under your ass and fire in your heart. One burns you out. The other fuels you forward. 2. Confirming in the “tree farm” gives you credibility, standing, and external validation. It can also cost you yourself.  3. Either/or thinking is usually a lie. When you trust yourself new options become clear and you can go anywhere. 4. External validation and inner calling pull in opposite directions. Knowing which one is driving your decisions changes everything. 5. One important question lurking underneath untaming moments: “Is it safe to be who I actually am?” 6. When you’re present, you’re safe. Presence is not a condition of the environment, it’s something you carry. 7. Leadership is a landscape, not a ladder. There is no top tree. There is only your tree. 8. Untamed Leaders make decisions by frequency, not by status or prestige. You can feel the difference in your body.a Soul Sucker Quiz [https://voice-matters.com/soul-sucker-quiz/] Take the Soul Sucker Quiz to learn which Soul Sucker screams the loudest in your mind so you can release them from being in charge and set your voice free! https://voice-matters.com/soul-sucker-quiz/ Support the show [https://buymeacoffee.com/laurismith] Thank you so much for listening! Take the free Speaker Alter Ego Quiz to find out which protective mask is hiding your wild, untamed radiance. https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/ [https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/] Follow me on: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/ [https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/] Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/] YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646 [https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646]

Beyond Knowing

Send Lauri a message [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2389103/fan_mail/new] What happens when insight isn't enough — when your vision is clear, your mind runs fast, and follow-through keeps breaking anyway? Executive functioning and resilience coach Kevin Bailey spent years burning out trying to out-learn and out-effort his way to success before he stopped trying to fix himself and started designing support systems built for him. That terrain between knowing and doing became part of his life's work. In this conversation, Kevin and Lauri explore the journey from masking to belonging, values as a compass, and what becomes possible when you stop fighting your own brain. Whether you're neurodivergent or just exhausted from performing a version of yourself that doesn't fit—this episode is for you. TAKEAWAYS 1. Your differences aren't the problem. The story that your differences need to be hidden is the problem. 2. Working harder and knowing more is not a substitute for building systems that fit how your brain actually works. 3. Masking drains your battery at a rate most people around you can't see. For neurodivergent people, it often runs at 25–40% capacity—constantly. 4. Recovery isn't about completely topping masking—it's about designing systems that reduce demand so the battery isn't perpetually draining. 5. Neurodivergent burnout is distinct from job burnout. It's the accumulated cost of chronic alertness, masking, and nervous system strain—not just overwork. 6. The gap between knowing and doing is terrain, not a character flaw. Understanding that terrain is where the real work begins. 7. What energizes you matters.  8. Values are a compass. Your best and worst experiences both point to them. 9. True leadership requires courage and the willingness to be vulnerable—not a performance of confidence. Connect with Kevin kevin@gobeyondknowing.com [kevin@gobeyondknowing.com] https://www.notion.so/kevinbailey/Design-a-Work-System-That-Actually-Works-With-Your-Brain-2863ccb6c400804db39ff9a492529434?source=copy_link [https://www.notion.so/kevinbailey/Design-a-Work-System-That-Actually-Works-With-Your-Brain-2863ccb6c400804db39ff9a492529434?source=copy_link] https://gobeyondknowing.com/ [https://gobeyondknowing.com/] Soul Sucker Quiz [https://voice-matters.com/soul-sucker-quiz/] Take the Soul Sucker Quiz to learn which Soul Sucker screams the loudest in your mind so you can release them from being in charge and set your voice free! https://voice-matters.com/soul-sucker-quiz/ Support the show [https://buymeacoffee.com/laurismith] Thank you so much for listening! Take the free Speaker Alter Ego Quiz to find out which protective mask is hiding your wild, untamed radiance. https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/ [https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/] Follow me on: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/ [https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/] Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/] YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646 [https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646]